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Child Item

Smacking yes or no

Jiggers77

So I have just engaged in a lively debate with work colleagues, a mix of men and women about the pros and cons of smacking children, a really old chestnut I know!. To my relief the vast majority of us were opposed to this but one guy was very pro and even went as far as to say if he had kids (Thank God he doesnt) he would have no problem taking his belt to them and believe me he wasnt kidding. Hes the same age as myself (37) and I was gob smacked.
I thought punishing kids like that went out with the arc. I was the youngest of four boys growing up and as a child of the 80's often found myself at the business end of the old mans belt, that was how things were down in those times but surely not today.
Whats the consensus? Does anyone else out there feel that its appropriate? Surely its not even legal to hit kids like that these days. Im still amzed at his attitude. I couldnt even imagine laying a hand on a child!

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xzanti

As someone else said.. a little swat on the bum if they're being overly bold and a 'Time-Out' hasn't done the trick.. As long as they are over the age of about 5 IMHO.

Unfortunately, as with everything though, it is open to abuse.. and there is a thin line between correcting a child with a little slap and actually beating them.. So I think it is important to have regulations in place.

Tell people that it's ok to smack kids and you will get a certain minority taking that as a green light for child abuse.

the_syco

When I was younger, I got a slap if I was bold, and the threat of the wooden spoon kept me in line, mostly.

This style, I agree with, but smacking a child every time they did something wrong will mean that smacking isn't working any more, and another tactic should be used.

RikkFlair

A swift single slap across the back of the head when they've done something wrong. What's wrong with that?

Don't overdo it obviously, but equally don't give me some bull**** like "I'm letting my child explore his own boundaries etc etc"

NothingMan

People equating a disciplinary smack on the backside with "beating" is hilarious. I was smacked as a child, not beaten.

Ruu

Duggy747 wrote: »

What about the wooden spoon, the Irish Mammy's nuclear option?

Sally rod! Many a time the car would be pulled over with threat issued.

hidinginthebush

Nimrod 7 wrote: »

Beautiful AH

So why stop with children? Everytime anyone does something stupid, should we have the authority to smack them too?

Are the children your property?

Also people saying 'I got a smack in the 80s and I turned out okay', well I didn't and I turned out fine too?

I know you're using that as the out of control, worst case scenario, but I'd reallllly love to be able to do that!

Dravokivich

DesperateDan wrote: »

Everyone in favour of it says "it did me no harm", well guess what a more effective manner of doing no harm to children is? NOT beating them for misbehaving. I can gladly say I was never hit as a child and you know what, it did me no harm....

I can tell the difference between a slap/smack and a beating. I'll advise you, it's not particularly subtle.

J_E

Never. Think it's abusive, full stop. For all the people who say getting a smack did no harm, didn't do me any harm not to be smacked either. If your parents need to hit you to bring you up properly there's something amiss. I wonder how some parents can do that regularly to a child who is essentially defenseless. There's always a better way.

Ush1

Do we deem physical violence as the answer for beings of less intelligence than us doing something we don't like?

Animals, children, the disabled, elderly, etc...

People who commit crime aren't smacked and told don't do that, we put them in jail.

cripesonfriday

I was smacked occasionally as a child and it never did me any harm, I also sat in the back seat of the car with no seat belt and that never did me any harm.

But it's thirty years later, and we've moved on, and we belt kids in cars and we don't belt them anywhere else. I'd never hit my kids, and I have never even been close to feeling it was necessary.

For someone to say they'd take a belt to their (thankfully imaginary) kids as in the original post is psychotic

gobnaitolunacy

I didn't think it did me a disservice when a clip was doled out by my parents. But I'm still p*ssed off to this day about the ould crone of a national school teacher who used the 'bata'.

humbert

Ush1 wrote: »

Do we deem physical violence as the answer for beings of less intelligence than us doing something we don't like?

Animals, children, the disabled, elderly, etc...

People who commit crime aren't smacked and told don't do that, we put them in jail.

The elderly are less intelligence than us?

Ush1

humbert wrote: »

The elderly are less intelligence than us?

Well unfortunately it can happen at a certain stage. Not all disabled people or even children for that matter are either.

SicklySweet

I was threatened a lot with the aul wooden spoon. :P My mum said she smacked me once and felt so guilty, she didn't forgive herself for years afterwards. This is because her father used to beat her as a child.

Myself, i have no kids, but i think i'll go down the wooden spoon route too. I'll already admit i won't have the patience to do the naughty step/train them like a puppy not to do this and that.

I've also had this debate also before and one thing that will always stick out in my mind from it, was someone saying "As long as you don't leave a mark" and "slap them where others can't see marks". :rolleyes:

sunflower27

NothingMan wrote: »

People equating a disciplinary smack on the backside with "beating" is hilarious. I was smacked as a child, not beaten.

I agree. It is the look of horror on some people's faces when you say you would have no problem smacking a naughty child that I find hilarious. :pac:

The threat of a smack kept me on the straight and narrow.

jigglypuffstuff

NothingMan wrote: »

I got a clatter if I was being a little shit and it done me no harm.

It probably did subconciously

major bill wrote: »

If a child is been a little bollox then a slap is needed

No it isn't

cantdecide wrote: »

A parent is not to know the long term consequences of smacking their kids.

This is made clearly evident by some of the uneducated opinions fired out here.

Tasden wrote: »

Some people are able to raise kids properly with no violence and still have the child respect them.

That should say every person is, Some just couldnt be bothered!!

sunflower27 wrote: »

I would never ever smack my child' brigade bl**dy annoying as fcuk. They seem to have these airs and graces that they are somehow 'better' parents.

Because they are, any parents who resort to physical violence or the threat of it clearly lack parenting skills, In particular... patience

RikkFlair wrote: »

A swift single slap across the back of the head when they've done something wrong. What's wrong with that?

Don't overdo it obviously, but equally don't give me some bull**** like "I'm letting my child explore his own boundaries etc etc"

Thats no BS its the truth children need to explore boundaries to learn whats right and wrong, physical violence is never needed or the threat of it

sunflower27 wrote: »

I agree. It is the look of horror on some people's faces when you say you would have no problem smacking a naughty child

Would you blame them? Hate it or love it thats an act of physical abuse and always unnecessary. You can clearly see that smacking was a prevalent thing when the majority of posters here (including myself) were young.

We must learn from history, not repeat it.

DesperateDan

NothingMan wrote: »

People equating a disciplinary smack on the backside with "beating" is hilarious. I was smacked as a child, not beaten.

At the end of the day you are still hurting a defenseless child no matter how it's described.

Boombastic

pone2012 wrote: »

...............
We must learn from history, not repeat it.

But we're still tripping over ourselves to get our children institutionalised as young as possible.

4zn76tysfajdxp

I used to get smacked around as a kid and it didn't never did me no harm. Well, except I'm angry all the time. So I can't wait to start beating the **** out of my kids.

The Backwards Man

It always amuses me that those who advocate never disciplining children raise the most obnoxious twats you are ever likely to meet. You would almost think the two were correlated.

FatherLen

you've got to assert your dominance!

Jiggers77

Its amazing the differing opinion on this issue of the lads versus the ladies. It would be fair to say that there are more men in support of smacking than women. Glad to see though that noone supports using a belt as per the original post

4zn76tysfajdxp

The Backwards Man wrote: »

It always amuses me that those who advocate never disciplining children raise the most obnoxious twats you are ever likely to meet. You would almost think the two were correlated.

"Not disciplining your children" isn't the same as "not smacking your children." :rolleyes:

sunflower27

pone2012 wrote: »

Would you blame them? Hate it or love it thats an act of physical abuse and always unnecessary. You can clearly see that smacking was a prevalent thing when the majority of posters here (including myself) were young.

We must learn from history, not repeat it.

The look of horror is a total over-reaction. It is a smack, no-one is cutting limbs off.

stimpson

The Backwards Man wrote: »

It always amuses me that those who advocate never disciplining children raise the most obnoxious twats you are ever likely to meet. You would almost think the two were correlated.

Who has advocated never disciplining their children on this thread? My children have well defined boundaries and they know the consequences of stepping outside them, so they do it very rarely.

Consistency is the key to discipline. It's just a pity that so many parents are only consistent when it comes to smacking.

humbert

I wonder how many of the parents expressing indignation at the suggestion of hitting kids are the same type of parent that cause their children to feel crippling shame every time they do something bold.

I'm certainly not suggesting that there aren't physically abusive parents but personally I've seen much more damage, and lasting damage, done by parents inflicting guilt and shame on their children as a means of discipline.

af_thefragile

If the kid is being a right bollix and words and/or distraction isn't working then the occasional smack will do no harm. Most of us did stupid things as kids and were subsequently slapped/smacked and most of us aren't mentally scarred as a result of that.

But one shouldn't physically beat (as in punches/hitting hard enough to leave bruises) their children for any reason, that's abuse.

Crooked Jack

Cydoniac wrote: »

Never. Think it's abusive, full stop. For all the people who say getting a smack did no harm, didn't do me any harm not to be smacked either. If your parents need to hit you to bring you up properly there's something amiss. I wonder how some parents can do that regularly to a child who is essentially defenseless. There's always a better way.

Defenceless? You aren't challenging them to pistols at dawn. it's a quick smack for being a wee brat.

Also, I love that the add at the bottom of this page is for nappies and prominently features a baby's arse.

VinLieger

If you need to do it regularly your more than likely just a piss poor parent, however i see nothing wrong in extreme circumstances with giving a child a smack. It should be a punishment used VERY sparingly to underline the seriousness of the situation whatever it may be

IM0

slapping on its own with no parenting pointing out why? - generally wrong
you could say its similar to someone coming up to you and starting a fight for no reason, they probably learned that its ok to hit people for no reason because their parents did it to them!

just talking to kids without instilling fear and reprocussions of acting the brat? - generally wrong
softly softly approach is good and well, but if kids grow up without at least the FEAR of a slap then they will probably run riot, maybe not in your house, but they are the house angels and street devils of this world

slapping followed by explanation, and how to avoid in future ect [aka how to behave] - best balance

also if you just slap your kid but dont show them love and affection then THAT is more likely to lead to psychological problems for them. its a balance, life is so simple, its all just a balancing act everything in moderation