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Do you hug and kiss friends on the cheek?

steddyeddy

A lot of my friends are Italian or Mediterranean and we often greet each other with a hug or a kiss. I would also hug my Irish friends on occasion but some people seem to take offence to it. I generally don’t hug people unless I know they’re alright with it but to be honest I can’t see the big deal. Some of my Mediterranean friends also had a similar reaction over here. They get the impression that some people sexualise the hug and that we’rea prudish people. I have to agree that I think a lack of physical contact with friends is a weird thing to me. Would it bother you if we were more Mediterraneanin our approach to friends?

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ElvisChrist6

Staff Infection wrote: »

I am quite passionate (as in heart on sleeve type) so I normally greet my friends as follows.

1. Walk towards them, smile and say their name while outstretching my arms.

2. As I get closer to them my arms lower and I extend my right hand in front of them before giving them a good handshake while looking them in the eye smiling.

3. If they are receptive to the handshake I take that as a sign and pull them in for a quick hug and pat on the back usually while saying something like "it has been too long".

4. Finally, I plant my left hand on their right shoulder and ask them how are they're keeping.

I rarely do this for people I've only met, more for old friends but I am a physical guy so it's rarely a non contact greeting from me.

Tried this today, couldn't remember all the steps so I ended up grabbing him by the dick and squeezing his shoulder

The King of Moo

Vicar in a tutu wrote: »

I actually find cheek kissing and hugging extremely put on and fake.

In general? How can you say that? What if people actually like each other and want to demonstrate that with physical contact?

I love hugs all round, they're just great. I particularly like little moments of physical contact like someone touching your arm or elbow. It just adds a little extra closeness and happiness in a simple way.

I know some people like their private space and I accept that, but I personally would find a life with few hugs and kisses very cold.

OnTheCouch

I do it, ie hugs and kiss on the cheek for girls, handshake for men upon greeting. A large part of this is down to the fact I've lived abroad for a lot of my adult life so got into the habit. On the other hand, I don't remember doing it at all to even good friends before the age of 18.

Generally the men are fine with it, even if they do look a little surprised at a hand being offered on every occasion. With the women it is generally taken well also, although when it comes to introductions, many of them I feel don't like being kissed on the cheek in Ireland. I personally find shaking a woman's hand outside of formal business a little odd.

I have also learnt with men to stick to the handshake and not go in for any kisses!

Not having any physical contact at all feels very cold and standoffish to me, but as I already mentioned, this has changed from since I was younger.

du Maurier

Lando Griffin wrote: »

A male friend of mine I ha-dent seen for a while hugged me down the local a few years back and my arms just froze by my side.
All my mates went Ohhhhhh and the barman pulled me a beer shandy.

How localised?

playedalive

For me, it depends on the friend

In general, I'm quite an affectionate person. I have also lived in Spain so have picked up a lot of their habits.

I have some people who give me the "don't like hugs" vibe. I just wave or give them a little tap/rub on the shoulder.

For good friends I've known a while (male and female), I would generally hug and/or shake hands (obviously the latter with new people). Depends on vibe also.

Czarcasm

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I like the shaking hands thing that happens in a lot of countries. No one seems to do it here though.

Ahh they do BM... (from the "Trivial things that annoy you thread today, it was a guy I was introduced to for a business meeting)

Czarcasm wrote: »

Also- lefties, when you go to shake hands!

Had a bit of an embarrassing moment earlier when I went to shake hands with a chap and he stuck out his left hand to shake mine, made all the worse by the fact that we were making eye contact at the time, and suddenly I realised it looked like we were holding hands rather than shaking hands!

Awkward! :pac:

But yeah, hugs and kisses for my female friends, handshake for the guys.

One interesting one Sunday actually- went to an "Abundant Life" meeting, went to shake hands with the pastor on the way in and he leaned in for a shoulder bump, "roll with it" I thought to myself.

But he was going on anyway in his sermon about going and introducing yourself to a stranger, so everybody in the hall did the meet and greet thing (how I kept a straight face when an Indian guy introduced himself as "Phani"... "Sorry?", "P.H.A.N.I", "Right" :pac:), but after the service anyway my friend who'd been at the service with me, decided we'd go for a meal.

On the way anyway we happened upon a homeless friend of mine and I went to introduce my friend to him. It didn't take genius level intuition to see my friend was visibly uncomfortable meeting my homeless friend. It just made me think "You fcuking prick! We were at a service today where your pastor gave it socks about introducing yourself to a stranger, and you're acting like a twat! So much for practicing what you preach!" :mad:

Fox_In_Socks

Czarcasm wrote: »

On the way anyway we happened upon a homeless friend of mine and I went to introduce my friend to him. It didn't take genius level intuition to see my friend was visibly uncomfortable meeting my homeless friend. It just made me think "You fcuking prick! We were at a service today where your pastor gave it socks about introducing yourself to a stranger, and you're acting like a twat! So much for practicing what you preach!" :mad:

But your friend wasn't the one preaching, was he? So it's no fault of his for not paying attention to the pastor.

Lets face it, pastors say a lot of guff that needs to be taken with a siberian salt mine of sodium chloride.:P

Larianne

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I like the shaking hands thing that happens in a lot of countries. No one seems to do it here though.

I nearly always shake a persons hand if I am being introduced to them the first time. Others, mainly younger people, seem not to do this. I find it makes greetings awkward.

I hug ALL my friends. I love hugs. Love them. I had a college friend on speed dial in case either of us needed a hug during exams.

I get the fake hugs people do. Don't do it if you're not going to do it right! :mad:

Czarcasm

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

But your friend wasn't the one preaching, was he? So it's no fault of his for not paying attention to the pastor.

Lets face it, pastors say a lot of guff that needs to be taken with a siberian salt mine of sodium chloride.:P

Hmm, how to explain, lol, OK basically the guy himself gives it welly too, not ALL the time, but I try to give my son an education and some experience with as many religions as I can, so he can know at least what he's talking about...

So anyway this guy talks about "the good life" and turn to God and shìte, but when he basically had a chance to make friends with a stranger- "ain't nobody got time for dat!" :pac:

Gas too because I met a guy on the Sunday who I didn't know was in the whole Abundant Life thing, but he knew me from a charity I do work for, and he was giving it welly Sunday about this children's charity that he works for.

So I was in town today for lunch, met my homeless friend, sat down on the step for a smoke and a chin wag, when who passes up but yer man, the big "Hiii <Czarcasm>"...

Dirty looking head on him then when he spotted my mate beside me :pac:

The Backwards Man

Larianne wrote: »

I nearly always shake a persons hand if I am being introduced to them the first time. Others, mainly younger people, seem not to do this. I find it makes greetings awkward.

I hug ALL my friends. I love hugs. Love them. I had a college friend on speed dial in case either of us needed a hug during exams.

I get the fake hugs people do. Don't do it if you're not going to do it right! :mad:

I ALWAYS hug old people.

Karl Stein

MadsL wrote: »

I have male friends who get big hugs, male friends who get the two cheek kiss hello/goodbye and one close gay male friend who always gets a kiss on the lips.

So you live in an actual rainbow?

I'm a little different. I have a forcefield around me that few get inside by invitation.

123balltv

No never to friends but yes to family especially old members Grandparents,
Aunts etc

MadsL

Cathal Cloch wrote: »

So you live in an actual rainbow?

I'm a little different. I have a forcefield around me that few get inside by invitation.

No more than you live inside a bubble of body issues. Oh wait...

Love you brother.

Karl Stein

MadsL wrote: »

No more than you live inside a bubble of body issues.

My forcefield protects my mind as well as my my body. It's not all about the body.

Love you brother.

You don't know me so you couldn't possibly love me. Reserve your love for those who you know and trust I reckon.

Peace.

[Deleted User]

I moved over here from France when I was in primary school. In primary school in France everyone kisses each other on the cheek...here they don't. Got kinda bullied for it and was known as the "weird kissy girl" for a bit.

And no I don't really hug people (or kiss them anymore!). Probably due to that kissing thing! Don't like hugging people, eugh.

I hug my Dad when I leave him the odd time..because I only see him once in a blue moon. And I hug my boyfriend I spose. Yep, that's it.
Can't ever remember hugging my Mother

Karl Stein

Lia_lia wrote: »

I moved over here from France when I was in primary school. In primary school in France everyone kisses each other on the cheek...here they don't. Got kinda bullied for it and was known as the "weird kissy girl" for a bit.

And no I don't really hug people (or kiss them anymore!). Probably due to that kissing thing! Don't like hugging people, eugh.

I hug my Dad when I leave him the odd time..because I only see him once in a blue moon. And I hug my boyfriend I spose. Yep, that's it.
Can't ever remember hugging my Mother

Excellent. The transformation from kissy liberal to suspicious conservative is complete.

Scruffles

am not able to do full on hugs as it triggers 'fight or flight' but love bear hugs any time where am able to hold the arm tightly and swing it;plus its good sensory input.:cool: if people attempt to shake hands will do a badass tight grip and shake like crazy.
shaking/kissing/hugging is a social rules thing,am completely oblivious to this stuff nor understand the concepts behind it but do love the sensory input from tight pressure.
have got a specialist sensory vest called the bear hug vest which gives the same sensation as a bear hug but much better.

marshbaboon

I usually give my friends a kiss on the cheek when I see them. Their arse cheek.

Just kidding I haven't got any friends...

MadsL

Cathal Cloch wrote: »

My forcefield protects my mind as well as my my body. It's not all about the body.

Perhaps you should open both?

You don't know me so you couldn't possibly love me. Reserve your love for those who you know and trust I reckon.

Peace.

I think your sarcasm meter needs recalibrating. Test it against this smiley perhaps

it usually sets it off.