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Very small wedding

Holyjebus

Hi guys,
myself and my fiance are talking about having a very small, intimate wedding as neither of us likes a big fuss and we have a HUGE extended family so it would cost us a fortune to include everyone, the usual problem.
So we were thinking of having a civil ceremony in a nice restaurant/small hotel for just our immediate family and then having an afters for the rest of the extended family and friends.
Has anyone done this and if so have you any idea of the cost or any tips to try and keep everyone happy?
Our family meal would only be for 26 and then the rest of the family and friends would be 34 making it an all over total of 60.
We don't want flowers or videos or any fuss like that, just a nice meal and a few glasses of wine

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John Mason

we had 40 at ours and a party afterwards.

we didnt have white dresses, flowers, photographers, bridesmaids, bestmen etc. .

we had the service in a pub and had our dinner there as well.

our reason for this was complete and total laziness

Holyjebus

That sounds like a lot of fun and very laid back! Exactly the kind of thing we're after.
Did you go to a registry office first?
Do you mind me asking how much it cost you all up?

Holyjebus

Sorry I had read the bit about the service wrong, so you did it all in the pub? That's fantastic

Gweedling

My OH and I got married in London almost two years ago - smaller than what you're planning, did it very cheap! The structure is the same sort of principle, so hopefully you can get something from it. Neither of us were too fussed about the ceremony, TBH all I cared about was the piss up in the pub after with friends.

Structure:

2pm - Small ceremony (15 people) in registry office - £200 or thereabouts, worth every penny, the staff there were incredible

couple of taxis 5 minutes from the registry office to a pub I used to manage. The landlord and I are still good mates, so he put up 6 bottles of bubbly for us, saving us a good £300 or so. Champagne reception followed by a few pints here, then next door to a restaurant for dinner.

5.30 - Turkish restaurant next door to the pub - dinner for 18 people or so - about £600. By far the most expensive part of the wedding. But paid for by my dad as a wedding present.

7.30 - No 24 bus from the restaurant into the city. This was a novel and great part of the day. Taxis/renting a bus is pointless and a needless expense. 25 people got on the bus, straight upstairs all dressed up carrying balloons, half pissed drunk. Three other people upstairs on the bus got a bit of a shock, but had a laugh with us nonetheless. the 24 is a great bus, it brought us from our area (Victoria) into the city (Leicester square) via Westminster, Trafalgar Square and the west end, so it's a great little tourist route for the family members that had never been to London.

8pm - Pub function room (Free) This is where we met up with all other friends from London at the time, so by then we had 50-60 people. The pub (Waxy O Connor's, Wardour st) Held off part of the pub so it was all ours. We had our own bar and barman. No charge for the reservation, they were happy to have us on what would've been an otherwise quiet Tuesday night.

11pm - The old people went home, leaving the young uns to move a few doors down into a chain pub that was open late. I used to work in another branch of this chain pub so they knew to expect us, held off a section for us and didn't charge the door fee. Live bands on here, late drinks, then a nightclub after. Bit blurry after that

So you can see the day itself was relatively cheap, we were lucky with a few things like the dinner and champers and stuff. Other charges were her dress (£55 gorgeous white chiffon from Jane Norman!) Her Bouquet (About £40), other small bits and bobs like that. It was a great day, some of the guys there said it was the best wedding they've been to, and would plan theirs around what we did.

It's a great idea to have a wedding like that. With a large extended family, it's impossible to have a better evening as you're constantly walking from table to table in a huge warehouse of a hotel function room full of people you barely know/like, pretending to be thankful that they came. Keep it small, keep it informal and above all, HAVE FUN. The day is for enjoying, not stressing about intricate details. Congratulations and best of luck on the day

Ms2011

Having mine in the same hotel I'm having my ceremony in.
For our ceremony & meal we are only having immediate family so that works out at 36 & the a further 60 or so for the afters.
I made it clear from the start that it would only be immediate family for the first half of the day & have stuck rigidly to that despite that fact that there is the odd person outside the immediate family who I wouldn't mind attending but if I go down that road it will just open up the flood gates to everyone in out extended family wanting an invite!!
The hotel & reception cost €2,500 which includes the usual 5 course meal, wine for the toasts, tea & scones on arrivial 4 item finger food for the afters, honeymoon suite etc. & we also go the house DJ thrown in too so well worth it I think ;-)

labelladejour

Gweedling wrote: »

My OH and I got married in London almost two years ago - smaller than what you're planning, did it very cheap! The structure is the same sort of principle, so hopefully you can get something from it. Neither of us were too fussed about the ceremony, TBH all I cared about was the piss up in the pub after with friends.

Structure:

2pm - Small ceremony (15 people) in registry office - £200 or thereabouts, worth every penny, the staff there were incredible

couple of taxis 5 minutes from the registry office to a pub I used to manage. The landlord and I are still good mates, so he put up 6 bottles of bubbly for us, saving us a good £300 or so. Champagne reception followed by a few pints here, then next door to a restaurant for dinner.

5.30 - Turkish restaurant next door to the pub - dinner for 18 people or so - about £600. By far the most expensive part of the wedding. But paid for by my dad as a wedding present.

7.30 - No 24 bus from the restaurant into the city. This was a novel and great part of the day. Taxis/renting a bus is pointless and a needless expense. 25 people got on the bus, straight upstairs all dressed up carrying balloons, half pissed drunk. Three other people upstairs on the bus got a bit of a shock, but had a laugh with us nonetheless. the 24 is a great bus, it brought us from our area (Victoria) into the city (Leicester square) via Westminster, Trafalgar Square and the west end, so it's a great little tourist route for the family members that had never been to London.

8pm - Pub function room (Free) This is where we met up with all other friends from London at the time, so by then we had 50-60 people. The pub (Waxy O Connor's, Wardour st) Held off part of the pub so it was all ours. We had our own bar and barman. No charge for the reservation, they were happy to have us on what would've been an otherwise quiet Tuesday night.

11pm - The old people went home, leaving the young uns to move a few doors down into a chain pub that was open late. I used to work in another branch of this chain pub so they knew to expect us, held off a section for us and didn't charge the door fee. Live bands on here, late drinks, then a nightclub after. Bit blurry after that

So you can see the day itself was relatively cheap, we were lucky with a few things like the dinner and champers and stuff. Other charges were her dress (£55 gorgeous white chiffon from Jane Norman!) Her Bouquet (About £40), other small bits and bobs like that. It was a great day, some of the guys there said it was the best wedding they've been to, and would plan theirs around what we did.

It's a great idea to have a wedding like that. With a large extended family, it's impossible to have a better evening as you're constantly walking from table to table in a huge warehouse of a hotel function room full of people you barely know/like, pretending to be thankful that they came. Keep it small, keep it informal and above all, HAVE FUN. The day is for enjoying, not stressing about intricate details. Congratulations and best of luck on the day

It sounds awesome, really! It's a pitty my fiancee would never agree with me about doing it

. I really wanted to do something like this, in a pub, in a more laid back (and very important: cheap) environment.

Holyjebus

Ms2011 wrote: »

Having mine in the same hotel I'm having my ceremony in.
For our ceremony & meal we are only having immediate family so that works out at 36 & the a further 60 or so for the afters.
I made it clear from the start that it would only be immediate family for the first half of the day & have stuck rigidly to that despite that fact that there is the odd person outside the immediate family who I wouldn't mind attending but if I go down that road it will just open up the flood gates to everyone in out extended family wanting an invite!!
The hotel & reception cost €2,500 which includes the usual 5 course meal, wine for the toasts, tea & scones on arrivial 4 item finger food for the afters, honeymoon suite etc. & we also go the house DJ thrown in too so well worth it I think ;-)

that is amazingly cheap :eek:
where was the venue?

Holyjebus

Gweedling wrote: »

My OH and I got married in London almost two years ago - smaller than what you're planning, did it very cheap! The structure is the same sort of principle, so hopefully you can get something from it. Neither of us were too fussed about the ceremony, TBH all I cared about was the piss up in the pub after with friends.

Structure:

2pm - Small ceremony (15 people) in registry office - £200 or thereabouts, worth every penny, the staff there were incredible

couple of taxis 5 minutes from the registry office to a pub I used to manage. The landlord and I are still good mates, so he put up 6 bottles of bubbly for us, saving us a good £300 or so. Champagne reception followed by a few pints here, then next door to a restaurant for dinner.

5.30 - Turkish restaurant next door to the pub - dinner for 18 people or so - about £600. By far the most expensive part of the wedding. But paid for by my dad as a wedding present.

7.30 - No 24 bus from the restaurant into the city. This was a novel and great part of the day. Taxis/renting a bus is pointless and a needless expense. 25 people got on the bus, straight upstairs all dressed up carrying balloons, half pissed drunk. Three other people upstairs on the bus got a bit of a shock, but had a laugh with us nonetheless. the 24 is a great bus, it brought us from our area (Victoria) into the city (Leicester square) via Westminster, Trafalgar Square and the west end, so it's a great little tourist route for the family members that had never been to London.

8pm - Pub function room (Free) This is where we met up with all other friends from London at the time, so by then we had 50-60 people. The pub (Waxy O Connor's, Wardour st) Held off part of the pub so it was all ours. We had our own bar and barman. No charge for the reservation, they were happy to have us on what would've been an otherwise quiet Tuesday night.

11pm - The old people went home, leaving the young uns to move a few doors down into a chain pub that was open late. I used to work in another branch of this chain pub so they knew to expect us, held off a section for us and didn't charge the door fee. Live bands on here, late drinks, then a nightclub after. Bit blurry after that

So you can see the day itself was relatively cheap, we were lucky with a few things like the dinner and champers and stuff. Other charges were her dress (£55 gorgeous white chiffon from Jane Norman!) Her Bouquet (About £40), other small bits and bobs like that. It was a great day, some of the guys there said it was the best wedding they've been to, and would plan theirs around what we did.

It's a great idea to have a wedding like that. With a large extended family, it's impossible to have a better evening as you're constantly walking from table to table in a huge warehouse of a hotel function room full of people you barely know/like, pretending to be thankful that they came. Keep it small, keep it informal and above all, HAVE FUN. The day is for enjoying, not stressing about intricate details. Congratulations and best of luck on the day

sounds like the kind of wedding I'd love to attend:D

Ms2011

Holyjebus wrote: »

that is amazingly cheap :eek:
where was the venue?

Citywest Hotel in Saggart

sanna

Ms2011 wrote: »

Citywest Hotel in Saggart

Oh really?? How was it?

Im getting married there nxt yr, but doing a buffett

Ms2011

sanna wrote: »

Oh really?? How was it?

Im getting married there nxt yr, but doing a buffett

I'm not getting married until March ;-)

Holyjebus

sanna wrote: »

Oh really?? How was it?

Im getting married there nxt yr, but doing a buffett

thats another option we were considering, how much is it per person for a buffet?

sanna

Holyjebus wrote: »

thats another option we were considering, how much is it per person for a buffet?

Ours is working out about €30.a head, getting rooms for parents an us, tea coffee after wedding.

Could get it for 20 but it was pretty crap option, think it was curry and that was it. Buffett menu was something like from 20-80 a head!!

Got told.I could pick an choose from.all.menus and they woukd give me a price,.only.thing I need to do more on price is corkage

Holyjebus

Wow, buffet is more expensive than I thought!

sanna

Holyjebus wrote: »

Wow, buffet is more expensive than I thought!

Got two main choices, and two desserts, was going to a caterer but by time i worked out prices and then the hassle the menu for the €80 a head buffet was fab but christ why do a buffet for that a meal would be cheaper!

Addle

Do you not have to be resident in London for a time to legally marry there?

Ever2010

We're having a quick reg office do with 40 immediate family & a few close friends - then a pint in the pub, then off to a restaurant - we have a full menu (so about 15 choices), plus wine, we've a whole floor to ourselves, and can stay for the whole evening.

The next week we've booked a room in a pub for €100 - should have about 60 or so friends there.

I'd say the whole thing (we just got new clothes, no BMs etc, flowers from the garden) for under €2000.

Gweedling

Addle wrote: »

Do you not have to be resident in London for a time to legally marry there?

You do, but that's where my OH and I met. I lived there for 3 years, she lived there for 2.

grumpymunster

If you not tied to an area try the Gougane Barra Hotel in West Cork. Perfect numbers in that you can book out the hotel for exclusive use, the setting is amazing and the food to die for. We had a civil wedding here last year was excellent.

What might be useful is that you really cant cater for much more than 60 there so you have a nice get out of jail free card for not inviting people.

illgetthere

Ever2010 wrote: »

We're having a quick reg office do with 40 immediate family & a few close friends - then a pint in the pub, then off to a restaurant - we have a full menu (so about 15 choices), plus wine, we've a whole floor to ourselves, and can stay for the whole evening.

The next week we've booked a room in a pub for €100 - should have about 60 or so friends there.

I'd say the whole thing (we just got new clothes, no BMs etc, flowers from the garden) for under €2000.

Sounds perfect and rright up my street!

We are thinking through idea's for something similar. My only hesitation is what do we all do after dinner? We would be having a smaller group (about 25 people) and as we are not big dancers to begin with, having a dj or similar doesn't seem quite right.

CAn I ask what you plan to do later in the evening or any suggestions you might have discarded? Any ideas are helpful at this stage.

MauraTheThird

illgetthere wrote: »

Sounds perfect and rright up my street!

We are thinking through idea's for something similar. My only hesitation is what do we all do after dinner? We would be having a smaller group (about 25 people) and as we are not big dancers to begin with, having a dj or similar doesn't seem quite right.

CAn I ask what you plan to do later in the evening or any suggestions you might have discarded? Any ideas are helpful at this stage.

I went to a small wedding in Renvyle House two years ago, my boyfriend at the time's uncle and they had a very small wedding of around ~30 people. After dinner, we went into a room that they kept private and had a bit of a sing song, story telling session and the like. It was very personal as they had slide shows of how the two met and fell in love. They had books of photographs made up so people could look at them and it was a conversation starter to blend two families that didnt know each other

Ever2010

illgetthere wrote: »

Sounds perfect and rright up my street!

We are thinking through idea's for something similar. My only hesitation is what do we all do after dinner? We would be having a smaller group (about 25 people) and as we are not big dancers to begin with, having a dj or similar doesn't seem quite right.

CAn I ask what you plan to do later in the evening or any suggestions you might have discarded? Any ideas are helpful at this stage.

We booked our ceremony for 4pm - a pint in a pub near there afterwards (so let's say 4.45ish to 6ish, then onto the restaurant who are doing us a prosecco reception (a very kind gift from my mam - I was going to do Pimms instead, as it's in July). So I reckon dinner should be about 7/7.30ish - So about 9.30 when that's finished. the restaurant has a bar, and as we have a separate floor we'll just have drinks there until 11.30 ish - then we're all staying in the same hotel, so can have drinks at the residents bar.

As we've a nice mixture of immediate family and close mates I wouldn't feel under pressure to entertain everyone - it'll just be everyone chatting away.

I'm not sure what we would've done if it was earlier in the day. We're not doing any photos (well not posed ones) so you might want to factor that in as well if you're looking at timings.

gabbytheking

We had 52. Cost per head 25€(2600) band €700 afters (€300) dresses €400 including 2 bridesmaids TK Max 110 online wedding dress at 290 from JJ House. She looked stunning and the dress was quality. Suits 160€. Flowers she bought ribbon and diamond pins off e-bay €8 and 5 bouquets of roses in aldi for €25 and made up 3 beautiful bouquets for herself and the bridesmaids and the pins in the ribbon for family roses on suits. They made them up the eve of the wedding and had a good time together with some wine etc. Church and priest €150. The venue put on music after the band and a good sing song got going after 2.30 or so. 2 suits for the baby boys online €40. Total + 300 misc approx 4,600 which was almost covered by gifts.

We only had direct family, aunts and uncles + 8 friends each. Don't worry about keeping people happy at the end of the day people will moan anyway invited or not. Some came to the afters some didn't but at the end of the day. I have friends who paid 25k on a wedding and are still paying for it. TBH with a young family thats the last thing we needed. Buy what you can afford and don't worry about the Joneses.

How Strange

We had our ceremony and lunch which was served at 5pm in the same hotel. I think we had 22 people so just immediate family. Having lunch instead of dinner probably saved a few hundred.

There were no bridesmaids, cake, cars, flowers or any of the other trappings that go along with a traditional wedding.

My aunts and uncles came in for a few drinks after dinner and we stayed drinking and singing in the bar until 3am.

It was exactly how we wanted it and it was a fantastic day. We were both so glad that we didn't go for anything bigger.

uck51js9zml2yt

we had 60 at ours. did the early bird menu in the Carnegie court hotel in swords. great choice of food and brilliant service.
had our ceremony there too.

Katieee

How Strange wrote: »

We had our ceremony and lunch which was served at 5pm in the same hotel. I think we had 22 people so just immediate family. Having lunch instead of dinner probably saved a few hundred.

There were no bridesmaids, cake, cars, flowers or any of the other trappings that go along with a traditional wedding.

My aunts and uncles came in for a few drinks after dinner and we stayed drinking and singing in the bar until 3am.

It was exactly how we wanted it and it was a fantastic day. We were both so glad that we didn't go for anything bigger.

This is exactly what I'd like! What hotel did you have it in? Thanks