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Child Item

1 tip of a flat belly!

amacca

anyone prepared to admit they have clicked this sh1te desperate to find out what this weird old tip to cut bits off their belly was?

if so what was it?

Anyone find the wording hilarious?

(thinly veild wtf is the secret? does it work? oh please please wont someone tell me!)

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Sergeant

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

My brother is 28, 5 feet 10 and 9.5 stone. He eats a full fried breakfast with 6 slices of bread every morning, a full frozen pizza for lunch, a meat and two veg dinner (very large portion) and gets himself two big mac meals most evenings. In between he drinks at leat alitre of coke, 2 litres of milk and eats his way through a double packet of fig rolls most days. He sits on his arse from one end of the day to the next.

It is definitely easier for some than it is for others.

Ya, but has he ever eaten 2.5kg of boiled potatoes swimming in butter with a side of 16 sausages, all washed down with two litres of milk?

No, thought not. Guy is a lightweight.

lidllady

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

This is basically correct, with two additional pieces of info required:
1: You can manipulate your metabolism to trick it into continually burning energy constantly without regard for how much energy it actually has to use. Think of it like a drunk person using their overdraft to buy another round with their ATM card, but not realising they're using their overdraft.

How does part 1 work?

One thing that needs to be taken into account with all diets is that carbohydrates make the body store water with it, whereas protein doesn't.

One weird tip: Bread is the devil...

hatrickpatrick

mattjack wrote: »

And the girl part ?

I don't wanna talk about it, dammit! :pac:

hatrickpatrick

lidllady wrote: »

How does part 1 work?

One thing that needs to be taken into account with all diets is that carbohydrates make the body store water with it, whereas protein doesn't.

I would need to write a massive essay (and I might one day) about how I did it, but to give a few examples, you need to have a snack roughly every 2-3 hours, never go longer than that without food or your body will say "Well f*ck this, time to start saving as much as I can in case there's an impending famine or something". Building muscle will cause your resting metabolism (how much energy you use just sitting in a chair doing nothing) to rocket, as will eating protein and drinking ice cold water. Eat breakfast before you do ANY exercise and make sure it's a decent breakfast.
When you're eating, wait about 5 minutes before you decide to have a second helping - your body takes that long to register how much you've eaten and whether you need more, often you'll find you're not actually hungry anymore after waiting a couple of minutes.

This is all on the calorie restriction end - obviously the other side is to boost your usage of energy by exercising like a mad fecker. If you don't have time to do a fitness regime (I was on my summer holidays and I was so determined to get this done that I powerwalked four hours a day, one hour on, one hour off from midday to 7PM

), little things always help - get off a few bus or train stations early and walk the rest of the way, choose the stairs over the lift or escalator, even just pace around in your room / office / whatever while on the phone or thinking, instead of sitting still.

The phrase "every little helps" is the most awful cliche around and I hate using it, but in no walk of life is it more relevant than in fitness and weight loss.

Greyham

A local mother has a secret the beauty industry hates but she won't tell me

nbar12

drink vinegar instead of water

Overheal

Dozens of local singles are waiting to meet me, but none of them seem to want to just try contacting me on facebook. What gives?

Madam_X

I lost 18kg in two weeks with these SHOCKING diet tips.

Fox_In_Socks

Miss Lockhart wrote:

He's certainly stoned a lot of the time. But I'm certain he's not using any other drugs.

My mother has always been just as unhealthy and just as skinny.

Your family would have suffered terribly in the famine!

Madam_X wrote: »

I lost 18kg in two weeks with these SHOCKING diet tips.

Lets see, 3 kgs per full term baby (freshly googled)...so you had sextuplets, Madam X? Congrats. It just seemed like 2 weeks actually getting them out.:P

irish bloke

joetoad wrote: »

I can eat and drink whatever i like. I cant put on weight!

You should see a doctor, sounds like you have worms...

amacca

Overheal wrote: »

Dozens of local singles are waiting to meet me, but none of them seem to want to just try contacting me on facebook. What gives?

You have to make the first move.........the single ladies expect that!

Just be a man and give them your credit card details at the start.

Kinski

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

My brother is 28, 5 feet 10 and 9.5 stone. He eats a full fried breakfast with 6 slices of bread every morning, a full frozen pizza for lunch, a meat and two veg dinner (very large portion) and gets himself two big mac meals most evenings. In between he drinks at leat alitre of coke, 2 litres of milk and eats his way through a double packet of fig rolls most days. He sits on his arse from one end of the day to the next.

It is definitely easier for some than it is for others.

Tell him to enjoy it while it lasts. He is roughly 12-18 months away from ballooning in size.:pac:

MyPeopleDrankTheSoup

You're all laughing at these ad copies but I used to be an affiliate marketer and the CTRs and conversation ratios of stuff like this was through the roof. People are just mad curious to see what that one weird tip is.

Then she (always female) signs up to her $1.95 'free trial' that rebills her for $60 if she doesn't cancel in a week. FTC have finally clamped down on all this though.

Chancer3001

the eat every 2-3 hours and ALWAYS eat breakfast guy has obviously never head of IF.

*smug*

lost in cork

what is the chat up line that will supposedly get every woman jumping into bed with me ??

ahnowbrowncow

lost in cork wrote: »

what is the chat up line that will supposedly get every woman jumping into bed with me ??

I'm a love pirate and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!

KTRIC

A prune smoothie and half a pack of ducolax every night before bed and the weight will drop off :pac:

An Coilean

amacca wrote: »

anyone prepared to admit they have clicked this sh1te desperate to find out what this weird old tip to cut bits off their belly was?

if so what was it?

Anyone find the wording hilarious?

(thinly veild wtf is the secret? does it work? oh please please wont someone tell me!)

I am somewhat intrigued by the wording.

Why is it that they think people would be more likely to go for a 'Weird old tip' than some sort of 'just discovered scientific breakthrough'?

Dwork

I do 50 sit-ups before I get out of bed every morning. Just saying like. There are 2 side-effects, I have a six-pack and I'm able to walk upright. If I miss doing the sit-ups, I can't do the second one. Backs fecked. Savage six-pack though.:)

gurramok

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

I would need to write a massive essay

You're young, easier to lose weight. Try losing it when in you're in your 30's when your stamina is reduced! Actually its good you did it now before you reach that age

So nobody can reveal the tip to lose that belly then?

Ruudi_Mentari

You can do like lazy mans push ups, with your knees up on the bed or similar height. that can work there pretty good

is something I do when I get stomach cramps due to lack of fooood... o to experience bloatedness again like when I was a kid. Miss that stuffed sensation

Cee-Jay-Cee

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

My brother is 28, 5 feet 10 and 9.5 stone. He eats a full fried breakfast with 6 slices of bread every morning, a full frozen pizza for lunch, a meat and two veg dinner (very large portion) and gets himself two big mac meals most evenings. In between he drinks at leat alitre of coke, 2 litres of milk and eats his way through a double packet of fig rolls most days. He sits on his arse from one end of the day to the next.

It is definitely easier for some than it is for others.

I was like that till I was around 25. I'm 6ft and weighed a paltry 9st sometimes dipping into the 8s. I ate like a hippo and never gained a pound. Then i hit my mid 20s and gained weight steadily till I hit 14st over a ten year period. I'm now back at 12st which is my ideal weight but I watch what I eat and excercise now and then.

Icyseanfitz

stop eating so much?

hatrickpatrick

Chancer3001 wrote: »

the eat every 2-3 hours and ALWAYS eat breakfast guy has obviously never head of IF.

*smug*

No, I haven't.. Elaborate?

Capt'n Midnight

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Little tricks like that go a LONG way. Another simple one is that if you're already getting your 8 glasses of water a day, drop an ice cube into each of them and let it cool down. Your body uses energy heating up the water before it can use it for anything, and it's possible to burn off about 80 calories a day from that if you're consistent with it.

Latent heat of ice is about 80 cal/g

But there's 1,000 cal in a food calorie

so 80 food calories would be about 1Kg of melting ice

or the difference between 8 litres of water at 0 degrees and 10 degrees ( tap water isn't exactly warm this time of year )

PS. that research on water is just misinterpreted. Beer , soup, fruit and potatoes count.
Pizza is roughly 50% water ( and it's a vegetable \o/ )

http://ajpregu.physiology.org/content/283/5/R993.long

A suitable allowance of water for adults is 2.5 liters daily in most instances. An ordinary standard for diverse persons is 1 milliliter for each calorie of food. Most of this quantity is contained in prepared foods.

Sofiztikated

gurramok wrote: »

You're young, easier to lose weight. Try losing it when in you're in your 30's when your stamina is reduced! Actually its good you did it now before you reach that age

So nobody can reveal the tip to lose that belly then?

Put down the fúcking fork. It's that simple.

Ruudi_Mentari

One tip of a flat pork belly roast, sah.

you cannot go withou a pork bun in yuh haan..

Chancer3001

@hatrickpatrick

go to leangains.com and read a few articles. Complete opposie advice to what you gave!

Gummy Panda

Eating regular small meals doesn't increase metabolism. Starvation mode is a myth for most people especially if you are obese.

A lot of broscience here.

BBDBB

you know I would have put money on gummys advice for a flat tummy would have been

"get some wan to rub it for you"