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Annoying creepy guy in the gym

what the hell!

Hey everyone. There's this guy at the gym that I go to who is creepy and annoying. He must be gay and seen me on some app or something. He seems to hang around the showers (which is the only time I see him). Today for example I couldn't even go for my shower because he makes it clear that he's looking for something. The last time I was having a shower last week he stayed in there the whole time and was 'at' himself. There were other guys in and out the whole time. Today as I said he was hanging around and I didn't even go in because I knew he'd be at the same thing. What do you do in this kind of situation?

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Avasa

Gay or not thats not ok. Say something to him the next time you see him do it.

GalwayGuy2

I'd report it. The way he's acting is a bit aggressive.

Edit: Didn't see the app part, but still, strikes me as a little bit menacing.

oisindoyle

Ignore him and get on with your life.

TheSockMonster

Report him to the gym staff and go home to have your shower if he's there

floggg

what the hell! wrote: »

Hey everyone. There's this guy at the gym that I go to who is creepy and annoying. He must be gay and seen me on some app or something. He seems to hang around the showers (which is the only time I see him). Today for example I couldn't even go for my shower because he makes it clear that he's looking for something. The last time I was having a shower last week he stayed in there the whole time and was 'at' himself. There were other guys in and out the whole time. Today as I said he was hanging around and I didn't even go in because I knew he'd be at the same thing. What do you do in this kind of situation?

How exactly did he make it clear he "wanted something"?

And when you say "at himself" do you mean masturbating or just washing his ball sac fairly thoroughly?

Surely if he was **** in the shower block somebody else would have noticed, no?

libnation

This is like the reverse of the 'I fancy a guy at my gym should I pursue it' threads

Tom_Cruise

Make it clear that you are ready to face him in the field of battle, and that you are a warrior who will fight until the end.

L.Jenkins

Mod Note: Constructive comments only please.

Op, I'd report him and take a shower at home instead.

what the hell!

floggg wrote: »

How exactly did he make it clear he "wanted something"?

And when you say "at himself" do you mean masturbating or just washing his ball sac fairly thoroughly?

Surely if he was **** in the shower block somebody else would have noticed, no?

He was having a **** and there were other fellas in and out but they probably didn't know what to do either!

Hamhide

''sorry, I'm flattered but not interested'' nice and easy.works for me

Esoteric_

I wouldn't just ignore it if he was masturbating in the showers. If he genuinely was masturbating, speak to the management about it, that's not on.

GalwayGuy2

Op, I'd report him and take a shower at home instead.

I'm taking this as a non-mod comment

I don't think he should go home to shower. What if you were exercising before work, or didn't want a walk/drive smelling of sweat, or didn't want to walk past people, etc. Your paying for gym, you should use everything your paying for.

You should report him, but I hope he might not get a simmering rage sort of thing.

Azure_sky

Was it this guy?

majimbo

I dont know what age u are or the age of the "creep" and I advise you have no choice but to inform management of the problem.

This guy will give GLBT guys and gals a bad name, but the reason u must report officially is to ensure that young 17-18 YO member do not have to endure this kind of guy.

perhaps a discreet warning from you to him along the lines mentioned earlier might help.

what the hell!

majimbo wrote: »

I dont know what age u are or the age of the "creep" and I advise you have no choice but to inform management of the problem.

This guy will give GLBT guys and gals a bad name, but the reason u must report officially is to ensure that young 17-18 YO member do not have to endure this kind of guy.

perhaps a discreet warning from you to him along the lines mentioned earlier might help.

I'd say he's around 25, haven't seen him this week so at least it's a bit more relaxing!

majimbo

Good.

I hoped he might be a 2013 new years resolution guy and may now be fed up and moved on

1ZRed

If he is creeping on you aggressively tell the freak to fuk off. Simple as.

SilverCircle

Hi, don't know what age you are either. I don't condone any guy doing what this guy is alleged to be doing, but what I object to is the way this "ageism" is perpetuated in gay circles. Why should it matter if the person being exposed to this behaviour is 17-18 or 37-38? The legal age of consent in Ireland is 17, so any guy 17+ can experience any of the behaviours that go on in gay life (including the undesirable and unplesant ones as described in this thread). My point is that there seems to be an implication that if an "older" man makes a pass at a 17-18 year old he is in some way a perve. Is Rod Stewart a perve? Is Paul McCartney a perve? Oh no, sorry, they are super-rich so its ok to have a much younger partner then. It's AGEISM and its wrong to be in some way saying "older" cannot have anything to do with "younger".

Sorry this post was meant to be in response to the post by Majimbo.

La_Gordy

I don't think you should talk to him or enage with him. Speaking to the management is the only way as it affords you anonymity and they should be made aware if someone is behaving in a predatory manner on their premises.

floggg

SilverCircle wrote: »

Hi, don't know what age you are either. I don't condone any guy doing what this guy is alleged to be doing, but what I object to is the way this "ageism" is perpetuated in gay circles. Why should it matter if the person being exposed to this behaviour is 17-18 or 37-38? The legal age of consent in Ireland is 17, so any guy 17+ can experience any of the behaviours that go on in gay life (including the undesirable and unplesant ones as described in this thread). My point is that there seems to be an implication that if an "older" man makes a pass at a 17-18 year old he is in some way a perve. Is Rod Stewart a perve? Is Paul McCartney a perve? Oh no, sorry, they are super-rich so its ok to have a much younger partner then. It's AGEISM and its wrong to be in some way saying "older" cannot have anything to do with "younger".

Sorry this post was meant to be in response to the post by Majimbo.

Any person over the age of 23 (I'm being generous here), straight or gay, make or female, with somebody 17 or 18 is kinda creepy, never mind one who's perving on one in a public shower.

And that's not ageist - if a 70 year old wants to be with a 23 year old, more power to him or her if they can get them.

If Rod Stewart or Ian McKellen want to date 20 something year olds though, fine. At least at 21 upwards you start to have some level of maturity and experience whereby you won't necessarily be taken advantage of.

Older people targeting school kids is creepy though.

At 17, 18 or 19, your still very young immature and inexperienced, and are at risk of being manipulated and taken advantage of by an older, experiences guy.

A person over the age of 23 will know the imbalance of maturity and emotional development that exists, and that they by virtue of their age or experience are likely to be in a position of undue influence, so if they still pursue it, at best the are recklessly running a risk that the younger person will be taken advantage of.

So yea, it is kinda pervy in my book.

KDII

Half your age + 7

SilverCircle

Good man floggg! Proved my point. It is assumed by you and your ilk that an older guy is perving, creepy, manipulative and taking advantage of. Yes, I admit that is often the case. But not always. Its typical "tar everyone with the same brush".

Now, where have I heard that type of argument before? Oh yeah, back when homosexuality was still illegal. ALL homosexuals were pronounced as perverts and misfits. Thankfully we have moved on a long way from those dark days. Tragically, most of the discrimination and misconceptions and mistruths today emanate from the very same gay community which screams from the high moral ground "Equality for all. Marriage. Equal legal rights etc. etc. etc." However, equality is only due to those who conform with prescribed behavioural models. An older man, who wishes to be with a younger man for genuine and not "pervy" reasons, is pilloried as a perve and a creep. I will get back in my box, how dare I upset the "moral" code. Lets raise the age of consent to your "magical" 23 years old. And while we are at it, lets legislate to prevent anybody who is in excess of 5 years older than their younger partner from being allowed to be so daring. Imprison them and throw away the key, why not?

Oh well, wait another 40 years for changed attitudes, with a bit of luck.

floggg

SilverCircle wrote: »

Good man floggg! Proved my point. It is assumed by you and your ilk that an older guy is perving, creepy, manipulative and taking advantage of. Yes, I admit that is often the case. But not always. Its typical "tar everyone with the same brush".

Now, where have I heard that type of argument before? Oh yeah, back when homosexuality was still illegal. ALL homosexuals were pronounced as perverts and misfits. Thankfully we have moved on a long way from those dark days. Tragically, most of the discrimination and misconceptions and mistruths today emanate from the very same gay community which screams from the high moral ground "Equality for all. Marriage. Equal legal rights etc. etc. etc." However, equality is only due to those who conform with prescribed behavioural models. An older man, who wishes to be with a younger man for genuine and not "pervy" reasons, is pilloried as a perve and a creep. I will get back in my box, how dare I upset the "moral" code. Lets raise the age of consent to your "magical" 23 years old. And while we are at it, lets legislate to prevent anybody who is in excess of 5 years older than their younger partner from being allowed to be so daring. Imprison them and throw away the key, why not?

Oh well, wait another 40 years for changed attitudes, with a bit of luck.

Trying to equate this to homophobia is trying to play on guilt and emotions and distract from the issue.

There are clearly very different considerations at play here, and quite frankly it worries me that anybody cannot accept that there are rational and logical reasons why people would be wary of an older person getting involved with somebody 18 or so years old.

As I said, there is a clear imbalance in maturity, emotional development and as a result power and control in such a relationship. Even where the older person goes into it with the best intentions, they are inadvertently in a position whereby they can take advantage, whether they intend to or not.

An older person who is aware of the dangers involved and tries their best to avoid taking advantage or hurting the younger person (see Dan Savage's campsite rule referred to in another thread recently) is one thing, somebody who appears willfully blind to the risks and tries to play a guilt card to avoid any discussion of the matter is another.

Particularly where this is brought up in the context of an "older" person coming onto a younger person in a situation like a gym changing room or showers by masturbating in front of them - where such attention may well not be welcome and could cause the younger person serious stress or concern and make them feel uncomfortable in those situations.

Quite frankly I'm amazed you would even begin to suggest that is appropriate behaviour, and would raise questions about your own attitudes and behaviour.

brokenice

There's this sleazy Brazilian dude who keeps staring me out of it when I do laps in the pool. He also swims in front of me really slowly in the fast lane so I have to keep overtaking him. Maybe that's what he wants. Go into the slow lane and stop staring me out of it!

johnreck

this behavior is unacceptable be he straight gay old young. who gives a fu-k.
two choices man up and tell him to get the **** out of your face.
if that might make you uncomfortable, inform the management.
the one thing you have to do is take control, dont be a victim to this weirdo.

chris2008x

TheSockMonster wrote: »

Report him to the gym staff and go home to have your shower if he's there

LOL at that sentence.

Drugged up on antidepressants finding everything funny

Annasopra

chris2008x wrote: »

LOL at that sentence.

Drugged up on antidepressants finding everything funny

Whats so funny?

If hes at the gym then shower at home?

chris2008x

go home to have your shower if he's there

He should have said go home and have your shower if he is at the gym.