goz83 wrote: » Sounds like OP has only experienced the Nokia 3210 of women, or maybe he's gay? All phones make and receive calls, but they're not all the same.
ThreeLineWhip wrote: » Is it still cheating if the other spouse is aware and approves of the other strand of the relationship?
PaulB1984 wrote: » I would've thought what i said made perfect sense, whether i want to give up my life to someone else or not.
beerbaron wrote: » She might prefer to be Rooted
PaulB1984 wrote: » If a man or woman cheats on their life partner, how is it that people always believe they can make it work? Obviously if they've cheated, they're not happy with their choice, so are looking elsewhere, and if they do it once, they'll do it again. A marriage is like having the same thing for dinner every evening, there are people who will eat the same thing every day without complaint or want for something different, but there are, of course, those who want something different now and then, who don't want to feel like their life is a circle, just a motion to go through with the same things filling each day. That's how married life must work, waking up to the same person every single morning and knowing that you've tied your life to theirs can be daunting i dare say. I'm not a marriage or relationsship kinda guy, i'm not even a dater, and most of what i've just said is a principal factor. Could i live with just one woman for the rest of my days? To know there are so many other women out there but that i may only have the one i chose? Like buying a smartphone? You've got a great model but a later model appeals to you and makes you question your decision to stick with the current version? Choice is choice, regardless of what it is. That's why people cheat, they're unhappy in the choices they've made, they want something different, something that breaks their everyday mould.
philologos wrote: » As an institution marriage is hugely significant.
wrote:
Doc Ruby wrote: » Well it was back in the middle ages, I suppose. These days even cohabiting with someone can be seen as marriage in the eyes of the law, so what's the point?
By the by, can you show me where cohabitation is deemed legally to be equal to marriage in Irish law?
ThreeLineWhip wrote: » The social welfare system treats cohabiting as marriage.
philologos wrote: » It is a marker that says that from this point on that we will live as one.
Doc Ruby wrote: » Its a pile of shite is what it is, pardon my French I'm sure. If two people love one another they don't need a contract to stay together, and if they don't maybe they shouldn't stay together. I think a lot of bad behaviour is carried out on all sides because married, from 'letting yourself go' all the way up to domestic abuse. Introducing the law into relationships is never a good idea.
philologos wrote: » It doesn't matter what you think they should or shouldn't need. Even if there wasn't a legal contract involved, I still think that making a formal commitment to love, cherish and uphold the other to those who are present is a powerful thing, and it is a great practice. By the by attributing domestic abuse to marriage is daft. There's higher rates of domestic abuse in cohabiting relationships statistically. Also, marriages stick together longer than cohabiting relationships on average. I covered this in a previous post. Irrespective of whether or not you think it's nonsense, the reality is that the statistics show that marriage is beneficial.
Czarcasm wrote: » No. Because I would consider it a waste of my time when you are completely unwilling to listen to anyone but yourself and only want to steer the thread your way, based on a flawed premise in your OP and your own lack of experience of the multitude of complexities involved. It'll become a time sink of a thread when you constantly dig your heels in and continue to come up with ridiculous comparisons and examples which only serve to prove you have no idea what you're talking about and are unwilling to listen to anyones opinion but your own.
Betty Suarez wrote: » I am married 10 years happily and I still has a **** buddy I sees occasionally. I don't see the harm in it.
Scanlas The 2nd wrote: » It's nonsense to suggest people only cheat who are in unhappy marriages. People can be perfectly happy and cheat as it's exciting and pleasurable. Some resist temptation, some don't some don't get tempted and some never have the opportunity to be tempted.
KCC wrote: » I think marriage is great for so many reasons. I would highly recommend it. Of course cheating is awful and destroys families. As to why people do it, it really isn't rocket science: it's just basic instinct, particularly for men, who have an innate powerful drive to have sex with as many women as possible. The motive (sex) is always there. Motive plus opportunity equals temptation to cheat. At the point of opportunity, I'm sure they just aren't thinking about anything else/consequences. As such, I think that a person can still be in a happy marriage and cheat. All you can do is trust and hope that your spouse doesn't give in if and when tempted by such an opportunity.
PhlegmyMoses wrote: » The general attitude towards marriage and monogamous relationships that you encounter on the internet is wildly out of whack with my experiences irl. A monogamous relationship is great when it is done right. People cheat for many reasons, often not because they are unhappy with their partner. Anybody I know who has cheated on their partner would be easily classified as very insecure. Some cheat because they're idiots and don't think about consequences. And, finally, some cheat because they are unhappy but too afraid to leave.
PaulB1984 wrote: » Greedy people aren't happy, that's why they're greedy. I've 2 chocolate biscuits here, i'm eating them, but am i happy? No. I wish i had 2 more. Greed, insecurity etc... is all part of being unhappy.
anastasia2 wrote: » Exactly why if someone is unhappy/ insecure cheats, its not because their husband/wife makes them unhappy. They have emotional issues to start with that no one else can be held responsible for. I know someone who played the field and innocently thought they could be smug and come home to their wifes bed in the wee small hours! They wanted the wife and the girlfriends!! It doesnt means he was unhappy with his choice, it means he was downright disrespectful to his wife, selfish and greedy and didnt give a figs about the children involved. When you have been in a situation like this OP you will make more sense than you are making now with your ridiculous assumptions.
