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children??

lennyloulou

would you discipline/give out to other people's children?
my cuz has 2 lunatic kids who proceed to dismantle my house every time they arrive...7 and 4 yrs
my cousin and partner dont bat an eye lid.. just continue to chat as normal while we are up and down asking the kids to mind X, put down Y...they pull at our dog which i fear could bite as he is not used to kids, dont say thank you when we give them a treat in fact refuse anything to drink but coke which we dont have, also some toilet accidents even with the 7 yr old.... the parents are oblivious, just ignore them, often stay until 11pm visiting on a school night
the very minute adults start to talk they start to scream, shout , pull at ornaments..anything to get attention
am i being mean.. i dont have kids- am i out of touch? when i was their age i was made behave in another persons house

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TeresaDarling

I take my 7 or 13 year old to 1 side and warn them that I am going to tell them off because the other kids are being bold and I am not allowed to shout at them

Then I yell at my kids with all the bold behaviour of the others and the parents can say feck all, it has the advantage of if this carrys on no one is getting ice cream/ biscuits, it works, all the kids become little angels, and mine feel special lol

Pottler

TeresaDarling wrote: »

I take my 7 or 13 year old to 1 side and warn them that I am going to tell them off because the other kids are being bold and I am not allowed to shout at them

Then I yell at my kids with all the bold behaviour of the others and the parents can say feck all, it has the advantage of if this carrys on no one is getting ice cream/ biscuits, it works, all the kids become little angels, and mine feel special lol

My missus does this and it works! I'm just rude anyway, so no need for subtelty. Funnily enough, after a while, people just assume if they act the maggot you'll bawl them out, so they don't. It's like they are so used to me being a grumpy bossy git they almost expect it and act accordingly. Somtimes you have to demand respect, it's not always automatically given, sadly. The OP also said it, they were "made behave". Someone has to do the making, in fairness.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

i would mind my own business

If the child was tearing your house apart, wouldn't it be your business??

MaxyJazz

OP it's your home & your rules...it's not the children's fault they don't have manners and are not disciplined but you need to let the children what your rules are in your home,then have a word with their parents.

Stained Class

TBH, if your kid has good manners & is socially good, well....

It's better than any University Education.

My opinion & it could be wrong, but I don't think so.;)

cfc1888

Gongoozler wrote: »

Tell them to fcuk off out of your house until they can control their children, and learn some respect.

Idiotic response of a thanks whore

barbiegirl

My first concern is the dog. If they pull at the dog and he bites they will insist he is put to sleep. :-( For me kids messing with my dogs is a no no. They either do what I say relevant to the dogs or I remove the dogs from the situation. It's my job to protect my dogs.
Yep in my house, it's my rules, kids can play, I love kids and have boxes of toys for visitors but bad, disruptive behaviour will be corrected. I'd expect, whenever I have some, others to treat them the same.

Cathyht

MadYaker wrote: »

no paragraphs

And a moderator wrote OP, was TOO LONG?

Surely 7 lines is not too difficult to get through. What is your attention span, how do you read instructions, documents, voting cards even, if you think 7 lines is too long? What sort of books do you read, picture ones? My 12 year old read the original post, laughing at some of the things written, in less than ONE minute.

Even though there are no double spaces, the content is well separated.

Madam_X

Cathyht wrote: »

And a moderator wrote OP, was TOO LONG?

Surely 7 lines is not too difficult to get through. What is your attention span, how do you read instructions, documents, voting cards even, if you think 7 lines is too long? What sort of books do you read, picture ones? My 12 year old read the original post, laughing at some of the things written, in less than ONE minute.

Even though there are no double spaces, the content is well separated.

How did you come to the decision to just drag up a random thread that's a few months old and talk about something not even relevant to the topic?

Cathyht

Madam_X wrote: »

How did you come to the decision to just drag up a random thread that's a few months old and talk about something not even relevant to the topic?

Hang on there now till I excuse my whole life to you. Is this a joke.

Madam_X

Cathyht wrote: »

Hang on there now till I excuse my whole life to you.

Oh no need to go to that much trouble at all.

Is this a joke.

No. What you've done is weird.

Wacker The Attacker

all kids are cnuts.

no exceptions.

a good boot in the hole is perfectly acceptable

Cathyht

Ah here now, time for you to go to the naughty corner. Madam_X is on my ignore list now.

Shivers26

I wouldn't allow my kids to misbehave in someone elses house. I would give out to my own nieces or nephews but I wouldn't give out to my husbands nieces or nephews. We are much closer to mine than we are to his and mind them often so would be more comfortable around them. I wouldn't hesitate to tell them to stop messing or whatever.

wolfpawnat

I tell kids off if they annoy my dog, inside and outside of my house, though I usually start politely.

When kids are in my home, I treat them as I would my own child. I offer them food and drinks, if you don't like what is on offer (Healthy-ish but tasty) then tough, if you look like your going to damage mine or my childs belongings, I will say something to the adult in charge of them and if they do nothing, I say something to the children myself and guess what, were I somewhere with my son and the person we were visiting said something to him I would back them up unless they are being insane, because it is their home, and I respect it is their home.

On an occasion I would go to the bathroom and I have heard the person who's house I am in telling my son to get out of a certain room or to not touch a certain thing and I have no problem with it.

I go to a woman's house where there are no shoes permitted indoors, as a result I get my son to respect her wishes as do I. If a person does not want to accept the rules of another's home, don't fricken go there!

The OP should tell off the cousins and after that, tell them and their monsters they are not welcome if they act that way again.

Oh and my son says please and thank you for everything, otherwise he gets nothing. And he is only three. Even in Tesco's when we are leaving the till he knows the say thank you and bye bye. Manners in children are essential as far as I am concerned.

Cathyht

(Will we whisper, it seems almost illegal to post on this thread now?)

Anyway I had a lovely ornament broken today by some boys who came visiting. I actually did reprimand them several times, and asked their mother to get them to calm down.

But while I was saying goodbye to her, they went into my front room throwing a ball to each other, fast and roughly of course. (This was mild after the wrestling, pulling my daughter to the ground and nearly choking her earlier - which had resulted in me intervening fairly sharply). Needless to say, the ball knocked something down and broke it. The mother is absolutely skint so what can she do really? It is amazing though the lack of acceptance of blame. It was like, oh well, let's get out of here now fast before she says anything.

Interesting to see what others do in a similar situation. I'm only sorry I didn't cut the mother's goodbye short and go immediately to shift those two badly behaved children out of my home BEFORE they broke the ornament.

shedweller

I never stop listening to my three lads when visiting someones house. They are generally well behaved but things will get out of hand if i don't make regular visits to them. Just to remind them that i haven't gone away! And i remove footballs from them once they touch one indoors. In fact, their imagination knows no bounds when it comes to knocking lumps off one another! I once caught them playing football with a giant gym ball! Can you imagine how much damage that would do? Bleedin lunatics.
Anyway, those parents in the OP are lazy feckers and do not give f flying fiddlers about what their kids break. "Sure, they're only having a bit of craic!" is what you'll hear when they break something. And then get thick when you tell them off. That kind of thing needs to be nipped in the bud. Although i like the idea of going to their house and returning the favour!

flanders1979

As my grandmother used to say, "They are all mad for the bull, yet they won't rear the calf".
Of course its not just the fault of mothers but the old lady had a point. I hate lazy parents.
It shouldn't be stressful having visitors.

StinkyMunkey

lennyloulou wrote: »

would you discipline/give out to other people's children?
my cuz has 2 lunatic kids who proceed to dismantle my house every time they arrive...7 and 4 yrs
my cousin and partner dont bat an eye lid.. just continue to chat as normal while we are up and down asking the kids to mind X, put down Y...they pull at our dog which i fear could bite as he is not used to kids, dont say thank you when we give them a treat in fact refuse anything to drink but coke which we dont have, also some toilet accidents even with the 7 yr old.... the parents are oblivious, just ignore them, often stay until 11pm visiting on a school night
the very minute adults start to talk they start to scream, shout , pull at ornaments..anything to get attention
am i being mean.. i dont have kids- am i out of touch? when i was their age i was made behave in another persons house

Simple - the next time your cousin calls to come over, tell them you have an appointment to go get a haircut. Rinse and repeat!

Lawrence1895

I would have a serious word with the parents as well. If that doesn't work, my door would be closed

EZ24GET

tell your cousin she's not welcome if she can't control her children. Make it clear you mean control and not an occasional softly spoken "now now, while she takes some rest at your place. I suspect it's easier to go visiting than stay home and let them rip her house to bits.

Alice1

Ah Stinky stole my idea! I was going to say keep a coat near the door and when you see cuz & co arriving put the coat on and say "Oh I'm just on my way out to hairdresser/ church/ whatever" You could always answer the door in your PJs and say "Oh I won't invite you in - I've got a terrible cold and I wouldn't want to pass it on to you"

SarahBM

My best friend has this problem a few years ago. sister in-law would call with the kids to her home place, and the kids would just run riot, they would even go upstairs and take stuff out of her room (she was away at college) and drag things down stairs, and if they didnt get what they wanted they would whinge and moan, and the mam would just give in to keep them quiet. Her mother used to even put things up high so the kids couldnt reach, but the kids mam would take it down and give it to them if they looked for it. and they would stay for ages too. my friend and her mam were fit to tear their hair out, but what could they say without causing a row. It eventually stopped like, but its very hard to say something in those situations.
Can parents these days not discipline their children. a good slap never did us a bit of harm. we were always well warned to behave when visiting, whether it was a relative or a strangers house. I would be mortified if I brought my kids to someone's house, especially a relatives, and they were misbehaved and rude. I cannot abide bad manners. Please and thank you never cost anything to say.
why cant children these days do as they are told. I think parents are responsible for their kids behaviour and therefore I think a point has to be subtly made to show the visitors that their kids behaviour is unacceptable.

I am never having kids. I would be too strict or a walk over. and I dont want to be either.

Cathyht

SarahBM wrote: »

My best friend has this problem a few years ago. sister in-law would call with the kids to her home place, and the kids would just run riot, they would even go upstairs and take stuff out of her room (she was away at college) and drag things down stairs, and if they didnt get what they wanted they would whinge and moan, and the mam would just give in to keep them quiet. Her mother used to even put things up high so the kids couldnt reach, but the kids mam would take it down and give it to them if they looked for it. and they would stay for ages too. my friend and her mam were fit to tear their hair out, but what could they say without causing a row. It eventually stopped like, but its very hard to say something in those situations.
Can parents these days not discipline their children. a good slap never did us a bit of harm. we were always well warned to behave when visiting, whether it was a relative or a strangers house. I would be mortified if I brought my kids to someone's house, especially a relatives, and they were misbehaved and rude. I cannot abide bad manners. Please and thank you never cost anything to say.
why cant children these days do as they are told. I think parents are responsible for their kids behaviour and therefore I think a point has to be subtly made to show the visitors that their kids behaviour is unacceptable.

I am never having kids. I would be too strict or a walk over. and I dont want to be either.

I could have done with you in my front room this afternoon. Though I think you're the IDEAL candidate to have children, they'd be model visitors.

Alice1

SarahBM wrote: »

I am never having kids. I would be too strict or a walk over. and I dont want to be either.

I used to say that too Sarah - now I have three and I most assuredly would not allow them to carry on like that in any house! I am fairly strict but their dad is a bit easier - so we balance each other out!

anncoates

If my kids act up like that, I lock them in the wadrobe for an hour or two.

Always works.

People are too soft on kids these days.

Cathyht

anncoates wrote: »

If my kids act up like that, I lock them in the wadrobe for an hour or two.

Always works.

People are too soft on kids these days.

Wow, that is beyond the Pale. I don't recommend THAT or condone it in any way. My children know by a look or a sharp word they are on thin ice. They are sent to their room for a while, and if that doesn't work the mobile, ps etc are targeted.

We have enough people with fear and phobias, afraid of lifts, being claustrophobic. You are a parent, you are not their persecutor and you do not have cart blanch to treat somebody like this. With correct skills you can parent without terrorising your child. Locking a young child into a wardrobe is callous and unacceptable, it will not promote excellent mental health. You are responsible for your child's health and welfare, locking them in a wardrobe is not conducive to either. There are many, many other disciplinary methods, far better, available.

margio

kids today lack the discipline that we were brought up with. A good slap would await us if we behaved like that in our own house, not to mind anyone elses. Irish society has gone way too soft on kids. You can't blame the kids, 'spare the rod spoil the child'. They aren't privileged enough to be thought right from wrong, the way we were. Yes folks, looking back on the slaps I got in my childhood, I call it a privilege, because I was thought right from wrong, and always behaved perfectly in other people's houses. Kids today haven't a clue, so God only knows what kind of Adults they will become. Just back from my sister's house, where her nephew in law was also in the house. By God, it was like being in the middle of a hurricane. Would love to have given the Mother a slap. If you allow you child to run amuck in others houses, your not fit to raise kids. This country is gone to the dogs in relation to discipline:mad:

old hippy

I generally frown on physical punishment, as I received quite a bit as a kid, until I was 16 years of age

If I spoke out of turn, or interrupted, I'd be smacked. I'm not proposing that but some kids are like a reckless force of nature! What to do?

My worst experience was when a parent's friend brought her kid over and he stuck a pretzel up my nostril and then fed it to his mom. And I got such a beating for it, dammit. I didn't know he was going to do that :rolleyes:

margio

I know there are pros and cons, but the way things have gone, kids are now the bosses. maybe parents are trying to adjust to new types of discipline. I myself think physical punishment aslong as it is done properly and not aggressively is a fast and effective way of dealing with unruly kids. Other methods I feel can drag on and create a tense unloving atmosphere between a parent and child. Only my opinion though:)