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Constantly drunk friend beginning to get abusive

daveyeh

So, how do you handle a pissed up friend starting to spiral out of control on the drink and being verbally abusive?

I could smack him about a bit i suppose but it might make things worse.

25c prize money for the best suggestion.
(I get to pick!)

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chickenbutt

I was physically attacked once by a close friend who had issues with binge drinking. It shocked him fairly well that he had gone that far and our friends who had witnessed it were very protective of me from then on around him. He was ashamed and kind of went into a hole after that, ignoring everyone. Abandonment isn't an option I think... He probably won't acknowledge how bad it is until he sees it for himself. He needs help and support...

af_thefragile

He needs therapy and counselling. That sounds like alcohol abuse.
There could be some underlying problem like he's depressed or something.

/non-AH response.

Dangerous Man

daveyeh wrote: »

Nobody is physically threatened by him, it's all verbal put-downs and nasty comments on whoever he's picking on. And always with people he knows well.

Okay. The first thing you need to do, right now, is reign in your own emotions on this. By your own admission this guy is not physically threatening. You said a couple of times that you wanted to punch him. I'm sure you know this but hitting him won't solve anything; it will make matters much worse.

Generally speaking, people don't get constantly drunk because they're happy in life. There's likely something underpinning this behaviour. Some have said you should cut your friend off and others have said don't. The answer, I feel, is somewhere in-between. Try to avoid situations where your friend can access alcohol but more than anything, get your friends together, those that actually care and are affected by this behaviour to sit down and calmly talk to the guy. Be supportive and offer your help.

Having said all that, it seems to me as though your friend could use some professional advice.

Capt'n Midnight

Only he can stop. And unless he wants to stop it ain't going to happen. Don't be a support mechanism for him. There is a whole load of co-dependency crap down that road and no one benefits.

All you can do is try to provide the wake up call.

cosanostra

Try this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi-P-HWubbI

BlackRoom

I have a friend like this, he alienated everyone and nobody would drink with him anymore because of it, except me, because he wasn't abusive to me. He got the message and last time out with everyone he had previously alienated he was the perfect gent, except to me who he made a couple of slyly abusive remarks to. I guess he needed an outlet. I've just not bothered to get back in contact with him since, but i will.. eventually.

Capt'n Midnight

you can make $'s of this

bumwars

Green Back

First thing you should do is inform him (not face to face) that you have written this OP and get him to read the reponses on his own. I think that it might help him recognise that his drinking/drunkeness is a genuine problem and give him some time to reflect.

In my experiece face to face 'confrontations' with people who have issues around drinking can be counterproductive if you havent really broached the subject before.

After that, well it depends how deep his problem actually is.

Best of luck to both of ya.

Kirby

Alot of after school special comments in here. Lets be a bit more realistic.

Tell him it's bothering you and how abusive he gets. Ask him to take it easy next time out. If he doesn't listen, it's not your fault. Stop going drinking with him. He isn't a friend worth having if he keeps that crap up.

It really is that simple. Ignore the people insisting you need to "help him or you aren't a friend". You aren't his mother and you aren't there to solve his problems. You can't.

maxxie

ride him

ejmaztec

In the good old days when this place was fields, someone would have suggested blasting him with piss.

Temptamperu

ejmaztec wrote: »

In the good old days when this place was fields, someone would have suggested blasting him with piss.

i got a post removed for posting that yesterday

daveyeh

maxxie wrote: »

ride him

:pac::pac:

Sooopie

I used to have a friend like that - she was dreadful when drunk - and she'd be physically abusive to her boyfriend too

She got married there recently I heard - I pity the husband

Shiner11

Have an Intervention I'd say. Sit your friend down some day when he's sober. Invite over his close friends and family, and tell him what he becomes when intoxicated. If he starts roaring and shouting, telling ye "to go Fúck yerselves etc.", have some photographic or video evidence from a night out.

I'll have that 25c please................I'll buy a freddo with it.

Mr. CooL ICE

When he passes out, cover his face in yellow marker. When he wakes up, tell him he has jaundice

moomooman

Have a word with him when sober, tell him your not putting up with it anymore.

Keep in mind that if he is an abusive drunk and you continue to hang out with him then people who dont know you well will eventually associate your presence as approval of his behaviour and you'll be tarred the same as him.

q2ice

Read though the first two pages but lost interest!!
If the *friend* has verbal abuse issues then it is a psychological issue! something that you can help with!!

If he was being physically abusive then its an ingrained trait.(I hate that term but in this case its hard to change) A person who reacts voilintely is a person who grew up with that type of inherent violence and feels trapped in their own mind. That is a type of person you cant help on your own. No matter how much you try..

If the *friend* is just being verbally abusive, as you initial post suggests, then what he needs is mental support. Its a matter of states. He probably got into a state of depression which is a spiral. If you ever are afflicted with mental depression you will know that the slightest thing sets you off - a sideways look, a dismissal. etc. The only thing you can do is be there for that person in daily activities. And if you cant be there just send a text saying "Hi How are you?" You would be surprised at how well that technique works. Feck you 25c but if you try that then after 3 weeks that person will be a changed individual.

The approach above is a continual process, ao if youre not willing to put in the effort then forget it and completely ignore the person.

YOURE CHOICE

Chucken

****Read though the first two pages but lost interest!! ****Quote.

...but failed to see the thread is 15 months old