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Filthy atheists stealing our Christmas

MrPudding

Hi all,

I thought I would get this one over with nice an early this year so we can all relax and enjoy our winter holiday.

So, blah blah blah, you don't believe in jesus so why do you celebrate CHRISTmas blah blah blah, you are such a hypocrite, blah blah blah, CHRISTmas is for CHRISTians, blah blah blah, CHRISTmas much be crap in your house 'cos you are a filthy atheist and don't believe in anything, blah blah blah.

Please chip in if I missed anything.

MrP

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Hotblack Desiato

Yeah that was exactly what I had in mind :pac:

'we plant the seed, nature grows the seed, then we eat the seed'

Think of the poor, still-alive apple (a potential tree) next time you bite into one. It's fruit abortion.

ShooterSF

To be fair we can't really be stealing it as they can't even figure out what year Christ was born in never mind the date. The bible is as usually fuzzy on facts and figures. Worse again people seem to get strange figures when adding up his age at death, I've had people tell me that he was born 1AD and died 33AD and was 33

when that clearly makes him 31 (and also makes all but the last 7 days of 1AD technically BC).

pauldla

ShooterSF wrote: »

To be fair we can't really be stealing it as they can't even figure out what year Christ was born in never mind the date. The bible is as usually fuzzy on facts and figures. Worse again people seem to get strange figures when adding up his age at death, I've had people tell me that he was born 1AD and died 33AD and was 33 when that clearly makes him 31 (and also makes all but the last 7 days of 1AD technically BC).

If, indeed, he lived at all!

fitz0

ninja900 wrote: »

Yeah that was exactly what I had in mind :pac:

'we plant the seed, nature grows the seed, then we eat the seed'

Think of the poor, still-alive apple (a potential tree) next time you bite into one. It's fruit abortion.

At least someone was thinking of the poor unfortunate fruits.

l-ron-hubbard-i-wonder-if-they-were-sliced-on-a-clay-table-demotivational-poster-1253973011.jpg

l-ron-hubbard-i-wonder-if-they-were-sliced-on-a-clay-table-demotivational-poster-1253973011.jpg

The Mad Hatter

Sarky wrote: »

I do love the corruption of christmas carols. The Lovecraftian ones are the best.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ftld7Ohojg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoaW34utB5Y

For the uninitiated, Y'golonac is a hideous hulking Great Old One with no head and Huge gaping needle-toothed maws on the palms of its hands.

I honestly had no idea that was a thing - even though I wrote a set of lyrics a couple of years ago to "Hark the Herald Old Ones Sing."

Bannasidhe

The Mad Hatter wrote: »

I honestly had no idea that was a thing - even though I wrote a set of lyrics a couple of years ago to "Hark the Herald Old Ones Sing."

You haven't lived until you have heard a choir of Gay Leather Men sing 'Deck your Balls with Boughs of Holly.'

Dades

fitz0 wrote: »

Other fruits, dammit!

Aenaes

Dades wrote: »

Other fruits, dammit!

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Bannasidhe

Dades wrote: »

Other fruits, dammit!

Back in the day when I had to study for my cheffing City and Guilds qualification the text book said tomatoes were classified as a 'fruiting vegetable'. But that book also contained the most awful recipes (remember Irish hotel food of the 40s/50s/60/70s/80s) so I wouldn't swear by it.

kylith

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Back in the day when I had to study for my cheffing City and Guilds qualification the text book said tomatoes were classified as a 'fruiting vegetable'. But that book also contained the most awful recipes (remember Irish hotel food of the 40s/50s/60/70s/80s) so I wouldn't swear by it.

Any plant that bears fruit is a fruiting vegetable. Apple trees are a fruiting vegetable, so are courgettes.

Bannasidhe

kylith wrote: »

Any plant that bears fruit is a fruiting vegetable. Apple trees are a fruiting vegetable, so are courgettes.

The book was right :eek:.

Still not going to try any of the recipes in it unless I am having a 1970s themed party.

kylith

Bannasidhe wrote: »

The book was right :eek:.

Still not going to try any of the recipes in it unless I am having a 1970s themed party.

It's all cheese n pineapple and avocados, is it?

seamus

kylith wrote: »

Any plant that bears fruit is a fruiting vegetable. Apple trees are a fruiting vegetable, so are courgettes.

Something new every day! Basically all fruits are vegetables (or at least the entire plant can be called a vegetable), but only the edible ovarian part of those vegetables can be called "fruit".

When you learn things like that and how wrongly you were taught in school, it's a little bit like that movie The Butterfly Effect where your brain goes back to being six years old again and it has to rewrite a whole pile of stuff it thought it knew about fruits and vegetable.

kylith

seamus wrote: »

Something new every day! Basically all fruits are vegetables (or at least the entire plant can be called a vegetable), but only the edible ovarian part of those vegetables can be called "fruit".

When you learn things like that and how wrongly you were taught in school, it's a little bit like that movie The Butterfly Effect where your brain goes back to being six years old again and it has to rewrite a whole pile of stuff it thought it knew about fruits and vegetable.

There are four main sorts of things on earth: animal, vegetable, fungal, and mineral: if it is not an animal, mineral, or fungus then it must be a vegetable. Therefore all plants are vegetables. Any plant of which we eat the 'plant' part - leaves, stalks (which would mean that rhubarb crumble is a vegetable dish), tubers - are called 'vegetables', any plant of which we eat the part containing seeds we tend to refer to just as 'fruit'.

But yeah, it's down to sloppy teaching. I remember arguing with the rest of my second year class that a bird actually is an animal, and so are spiders, and so are people. We're taught that 'animal' basically means 'mammal' and left at that. Didn't get any help from the fecking teacher either, useless cow.

robindch

kylith wrote: »

It's all cheese n pineapple and avocados, is it?

Nah, a grapefruit cut in two with half a cherry skewered on a stick.

Brings back memories of Ford Cortinas + fluffy dice.

Sarky

kylith wrote: »

There are four main sorts of things on earth: animal, vegetable, fungal, and mineral:

What about bacteria and viruses? >_>

Newaglish

prawn cocktail, beef wellington and tiramisu for the fancy 70s party

kylith

Sarky wrote: »

What about bacteria and viruses? >_>

Hey, I was doing well to remember about fungi!

There are three sorts of things in the world; animals, vegetables, and minerals. And fungi. Four! Four sorts of things in the world; animals, vegetables, minerals, and fungi. And bacteria. Five! Five sorts of things in the world; animals, vegetables, minerals, fungi, and bacteria. And viruses. Six! Six sorts of things in the world...

Skrynesaver

Newaglish wrote: »

prawn cocktail, beef wellington and tiramisu for the fancy 70s party

Tiramisu was a much later arrival in my experience, Angel Delight or if you were fancy Baked Alaska

kylith

Newaglish wrote: »

prawn cocktail, beef wellington and tiramisu for the fancy 70s party

Don't forget the salmon mousse!

robindch

One word:

Smash.

MagicMarker

I just heard a radio xmas ad for Easons that uses Christopher Hitchens' name in a jingle type rhyme.

It was very odd...

Bannasidhe

kylith wrote: »

It's all cheese n pineapple and avocados, is it?

in aspic. Lots of aspic.

Bannasidhe

Skrynesaver wrote: »

Tiramisu was a much later arrival in my experience, Angel Delight or if you were fancy Baked Alaska

Black Forest Gateau was the height of chic.

I seem to recall a tendency to make things look like other things - the one that sticks in my mind was a spatchcock chicken where you made it look like a frog. :eek:

Roux - they were big on sauces/gravy made with a roux.

Hotblack Desiato

Gammon steaks with two pinapple rings on top, sprinkled with brown sugar, pepper and a bit of butter and done under the grill. Yum

Hotblack Desiato

kylith wrote: »

Don't forget the salmon mousse!

kylith

Just thought I'd warn any Christians around that it's not just us Atheists stealing Christmas, the Arabs are at it too! Where I'm working has a large number of clients from all over the world of all colours and creeds and just about every single one of them has wished me a Happy Christmas. Lots of them also seem to be buying presents for their children too, but in that case I think it's Lord Santa rather than Lord Jesus that's on their minds.

MrPudding

I fcuking love Christmas, and Rob and Dades and Jernal, love those guys even more! In your face religious types.

MrP

MrPudding

MrPudding wrote: »

I fcuking love Christmas, and Rob and Dades and Jernal, love those guys even more! In your face religious types.

MrP

I did not type that...

MrP

smacl

MrPudding wrote: »

I did not type that...

MrP

Must've been a murkle so. Praise the lord and pass the brandy...