nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

Breaking through the final break up

CHNSA

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years AGAIN. This is a regular thing these days and we just keep getting back together and prolonging our misery. I am 39 years old and a divorced mom of two great kids. When we originally started dating I was not looking to get married again but things changed. He is great with my kids and spent 3 to 5 nights a week at my house. I asked him to move in a year ago but he did not want to do that. He says he loves me and wants to be with me forever. He says he wants to be my partner and he does do a lot to help me financially.

He says, "We'll never get out and do anything fun if I move to the suburbs..." I have to live in the suburbs for the good schools and I can not afford private school tuition.

Last month he went on a 10 day trip to the other side of the world without me to visit a friend. I guess my resentment toward that was based on the fact that in truth we are not partners and he does what ever he wants to do.

Recently he let a mutual friend of ours come and stay with him for a month while she was in between places. That put me into a demented rage because she gets to live with him and I don't. They are platonic.

I have been so upset and I have behaved very childishly. This has become a pattern in our relationship when I get angry at him. I text and call and email incessantly and sometimes I am very mean. We always get back together. He says he loves me.

I am so affected by this it is interfering with my daily life. We broke up last Monday after our friend moved into his house. I left work early today saying I was sick. I went to his house to return his key and ended up breaking our mutual friend's flower pot on the front porch in a fit because he never came to the door. I left the key in the mailbox and left. Then I called and screamed and cursed him out saying I hate you. Then called some more crying saying I love you. I have become a crazy *****.

I have got to make a clean break. Could someone please explain to me the difference between love and this insanity? I can not get over the fact he won't make a commitment to me. Why would he at this point?

He has compared me to his ex wife, saying he thought making a commitment to her would make her better but it didn't. He has told me,
"Maybe you want more than I have to offer.
You just want to be saved; someone to take care of you.
You need to tighten up your ship if that is what you want. (meaning finances)
You're just mad because you are not Cinderella with a glass slipper."

There is a reason I am so insecure in this relationship. I really wasn't crazy until I started feeling so rejected. I love him so I have been taking what I can get.

Find more posts tagged with

break up

relationship issues

Quick Links

Comments

CHNSA

“This is what you shall do; Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body.”

"Have you learned the lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed passage with you?"
-Walt Whitman

CHNSA

I smashed someone's flower pot out of anger. This is not the correct forum to admit such things.

Ickle Magoo

CHNSA wrote: »

It's OK. I will seek professional help. Thanks y'all.

You've had lots of good advice. Since you've made a decision to get professional help and your last few posts are really more appropriate to a diary/blog I'm going to go ahead and lock this thread.

All the best, OP.