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Child Item

Words and phrases that are only used by tabloid newspapers

some random drunk

Tabloid newspapers are particularly bad for using words and phrases that no one ever in their right mind would use in conversation.

"Boffins" is one. As is "romp".

Anyone got any more?

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DEFTLEFTHAND

Snow Joke.

It gets rolled out anytime there's snow in Ireland. Usually its the caption for a picture.

9959

loony left

Wattle

Every year in the run-up to the womens mini marathon: RUN GIRLS RUN!

opti0nal

public
fears
revealed (see notes for correct use)
anger
outrage
perks
gold plated
fat cat
pervert
troubled
'sources' (see notes for correct use)
scandal
backlash
glamourous
stunner
overwhelming majority
poll

notes: Quoting 'sources' is only allowed when you make a story up. 'Revealed' should only be used when the story is one commisioned by the paper's owners and quotes 'sources'. 'glamourous' is strictly reserved for the ugly friends of the newspapers owners.

If you can write a sentence containing all of the above, you get a job with the Indo. Using 60% will get you a job with the Herald.

mikemac1

Crock

An injured footballer

Example
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2069771/Newcastle-braced-lose-Steven-Taylor-season.html

Newcastle braced to lose Steven Taylor for season as crock goes under the knife

GalwayKiefer

EXCLUSIVELY in Sunday's edition.

"Baps"

Made up nicknames for gangland figures. (I'm looking at you Paul Williams.)

Pottler

"Shocker". Well, I've never used it in everyday conversation anyway. It's like when someone gets shot/stabbed/robbed, they interview the neighbours, and they're all "shocked". The interviewer gurns and the neighbours come on to say they're "shocked, it's shocking". Is it?, well I never.

efb

Every man woman and child...

superblu

Referring to the garda as cops

stoneill

opti0nal wrote: »

public
fears
revealed (see notes for correct use)
anger
outrage
perks
gold plated
fat cat
pervert
troubled
'sources' (see notes for correct use)
scandal
backlash
glamourous
stunner
overwhelming majority
poll

If you can write a sentence containing all of the above, you get a job with the Indo. Using 60% will get you a job with the Herald.

New public fears are revealed over the anger and outrage at the perks of our gold plated ministerial pensions and those given to fat cat executives.

Pervert presenter was troubled by revealatons in a scandal sources close to the dead presenter said today.
The public backlash at the glamourous lifesyle of property developers was apparent as he was seen leaving a night club with a stunner on his arm.
Bins are good for collecting rubbish according to a new poll, where the overwhelming majority voted in favour of using bins insted of their teapots for domestic waste.

Do I get the job?

SdoowSirhc

Have to agree with most of the ones mentioned. Hate boffins :P
The Sun have a habit of over exaggerating most stories to something along the lines of "Armed Nutter youth terrorises children while Ma guzzles booze" meaning a boy with a bb gun (who's mother went to a bar) shot the neighbor boy who's parents went to the paper/Joe. Also Ma, Da, Tot and any other abbreviated word in a headline.

efb

Swotty
Brain box
For anyone that's passed any exam- every

mikemac1

USA don't have an international football team if you read the tabloids

The Yanks do though

Knucklecracker

Our undercover reporter made his excuses and left..................

Usually from a brothel.

Or how about the Fake Sheik

stateofflux

'hubby'

ive never ever met anyone who has used the term to describe their husband

somefeen

Scientist claim that tabloid

newspapers bold words every now and the so that readers can simply look at the article and get the gist of it
The discovery was made by boffins at University College Cork, which had an intake of over 5,000 new students last year, last march
The study also revealed that they add extra unnecessary information to sentences which actually makes them harder to understand (see above)
They are also the main media outlet to use the word tragic when referring to a person.
For example Tragic john doe died of his injuries. This type of one word description is often used in captions to try and provoke empathy in the reader.
Vile sex pest is also used more in tabloids than anywhere else.
The study left the taxpayer with £1,500 bill while families like yours starve! Dr. Brain box boffin who conducted the study along with a similar one describing how research into media outlets was under funded, said "We have proven conclusively that tabloid newspapers make for a more entertaining read". He might not have said this at all
Meanwhile we continue to report on scientific breakthroughs with no understanding of the data we are presented with, see Only 200 cod left on the BBC website for an excellent example of this.

The Big Red Button

It's never a car accident, it's always a "horror smash".

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

"Kiddie" porn

goodie2shoes

Chav, chavvie, chavtastic.
Essex.

goodie2shoes

Pikey.

My name is URL

Not really a phrase but I can't stand papers that feel it's necessary to print some words in capital letters. It makes it seem like people are too STUPID to read what is actually in front of them, and instead just scan for the BIG words to avoid noticing the inherent BOLLIX that I'm reading in the first place.

jonsnow

Irelands Number 1 crime/sport/showbiz reporter

Brussels Sprout

If two young women, who, incidentally happen to have great tits, get into an argument it's always:

"Storm in a D-cup"

some random drunk

Any article about a porn star "A star is porn"

Any article about vampires/vampire movies etc "Love at first bite"

Any time golfer Colin Montgomery wins "The Full Monty!"

ArtSmart

undisclosed source.

terror.

fear

death

sex.

oh and 'footie', whatever that is.

in fairness, they do get to the basics.

ArtSmart

Brussels Sprout wrote: »

If two young women, who, incidentally happen to have great tits, get into an argument it's always:

"Storm in a D-cup"

but if they're flat chested it's Desert Storm.

(getting coat)

ArtSmart

black francis wrote: »

Tabloid Headline:
Wergie Wonga makes Bergie Linga Longa.

Translation:
Denis Bergkamp has successfully concluded his contact renegotiations with Arsenal football club.

googled it - lies. but i wish they had, as it's brilliant.

uberalles

One in a bed sex scandal

ArtSmart

uberalles wrote: »

One in a bed sex scandal tragedy

fyp

ArnoldJRimmer

Any article about Wayne Rooney must have 'roo' in the headline

'roo-thless united knock five past Wigan'

'Wayne roo's missed penalty as united go out'

'would 'roo' believe it. Wayne has sexy romp with granny' etc