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Child Item

Words and phrases that are only used by tabloid newspapers

some random drunk

Tabloid newspapers are particularly bad for using words and phrases that no one ever in their right mind would use in conversation.

"Boffins" is one. As is "romp".

Anyone got any more?

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Phoenix Park

Typical Irish tabloid waank headlines:

"Dad gunned down in front of kids" (ie: scumbag drug dealer shot)

"Tears of a mother" (ie: drug dealer/murderer's mother photographed at funeral sheding a tear and wearing a Celtic jersey).

Micky Dolenz

A source close to the "celebrity" revealed......

tommyboy2222

"Political correctness gone mad"

"Elf and Safety"

Lawrence1895

It's a bit cruel, but this one is a running gag about the BILD newspaper in Germany:

'Man was mauled by a pitbull, read the exclusive interview with the mince meat only in BILD'

OurLadyofKnock

A nearby young muslim.

Pherekydes

Anything to do with the weather is 'apocalyptic'.

Lapin

Every word written by Paul Williams.

Zebra3

Man of the people, Bertie Ahern....

This used to be in the papers all the time years ago.

Everyone I knew also thought he was a c***.

stoneill

Gotcha

Boombastic

Family 'devastated' over broken fingernail

'Scumlord' on the loose

Toby Take a Bow

'Tot' to describe a child. I hate that word.

Archeron

Man shoots nine people. Thats reprehensible.
Man steals friends chips. Thats reprehensible.
Woman farts in bath. Thats reprehensible.

suicide_circus

Crim short for criminal
specifying 'oral rape'

pablomakaveli

For any page where they have pictures of sexy celebrities on a beach or something theres always that "one onlooker" thats quoted who makes really bad puns.

e.g "rearly good view", "breast view" etc

Rothko

'Bonking'

mikemac1

Pensioner Bridie was found dead in her 200k home

The house price has nothing to do with the story
It's just used to show she wasn't on welfare and was a "decent sort", stirs up a bit more interest, wow a person like me

Daily Mail are very fond of this

"anonymous garda source" = lies from the Evening Herald

mikemac1

My night of passion with Robbie Williams (or someone else famous)

The tell all article will include a skimpily dressed photo of this young girl but not too much on show, she is worried what her parents may think :rolleyes:

Why did you run to the papers so?

Boombastic

Cornflake days

[Deleted User]

canabis resin

Seedy Arling

RANDY VICAR IN BONKING SCANDAL!!!!!!!!

Irish Guitarist

'Love rat'.

'Dole scrounger'. At least I thought the likes of The Sun were the only ones who used that phrase until I started reading After Hours.

Lollers

'Stunner'

helenmo

Yummy Mummy - woman who's lost the baby weight

Scrummy for any M &S cake or pudding sugary goo to conjure up wamth of feeling with close family or girlfriends

Raunchy - usually used alliteratively as in Raunchy Rihanna to describe scantily clad woman with possibility of catching drunken crotch shots as she gets out of taxis on nights out or actually engaging in some form of sex act or state of undress if the press keep her under surveillance long enough

'My night of love' with (insert name of footballer) , ie, we shagged our brains out and I could do with some cash so here's my 'kiss and tell' story

kiss and tell - see above!

Emeraldy Pebbles

Raven-haired beauty.

[Deleted User]

My biggest gripe is when they have a photo of some Z-List model and say she looks chest great. I think it's awful word play. I mean, bust great would be better and sounds at lot more like just great. Anyhow.... I like diddies.

juan.kerr

Omackeral wrote: »

My biggest gripe is when they have a photo of some Z-List model and say she looks chest great. I think it's awful word play. I mean, bust great would be better and sounds at lot more like just great. Anyhow.... I like diddies.

or mammarindes

Dangerous Man

British tabs always use boffins to refer to scientists. I hate the word.

9959

leggy lovely

mikemac1

Our boys

The nations troops

Remmy

working poor