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Child Item

Yearbook slur still haunts North Vancouver grad, 42 years later

sunflower27

This made me really angry. To think this man carried this hurt with him his whole life.

NORTH VANCOUVER -- Page 108 of Argyle secondary's 1970 annual is filled with smiling faces.

Next to each photo is a short caption about each student's memories of school and his or her goals for the future - some serious, some evidently jokes, likely inserted by the yearbook's authors. Next to the photo of Robin Tomlin, a shy, skinny teen and a victim of intense bullying, is just one word: "Fag."

The entry might have seemed funny to those who wrote it, but to Tomlin it was devastating, a culmination of the torment he had been subjected to for years in the school's hallways. Four decades later, the word still stings.

"I feel like, emotionally, they've been beating me with a stick for 42 years," he said.

http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Yearbook+slur+still+haunts+Argyle+grad/7338575/story.html

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newmug

Poor fella.

[Deleted User]

Jeez, don't tell me that this, like proms, is another bad American trait that Irish schools are importing?

El Guapo!

DrDonkey wrote: »

Jeez, don't tell me that this, like proms, is another bad American trait that Irish schools are importing?

It clearly says Vancouver.

El Guapo!

sunflower27 wrote: »

"I feel like, emotionally, they've been beating me with a stick for 42 years," he said.

Ok I know bullying is terrible and I feel sorry for the guy if he was tormented while he was in school, but come on.......42 years later and it's still his yearbook photo that "haunts" him??
It's one word in a yearbook from nearly half a century ago. I'm sure nobody reads it anymore and I'd be pretty sure the bullies from school have long forgotten about you..........until you decided to give an interview to a newspaper and drag it all back up again.
Stop being such a drama queen and looking for attention. 15 mins of fame and all that.

inmyday

Wouldnt he be better off hunting down all the bullys for an apology. Go to the paper with their names and embarrass them?

Heroditas

inmyday wrote: »

Wouldnt he be better off hunting down all the bullys for an apology. Go to the paper with their names and embarrass them?

Better still, just hunt them down Deliverance/Rambo style!

sunflower27

Dean09 wrote: »

Ok I know bullying is terrible and I feel sorry for the guy if he was tormented while he was in school, but come on.......42 years later and it's still his yearbook photo that "haunts" him??
It's one word in a yearbook from nearly half a century ago. I'm sure nobody reads it anymore and I'd be pretty sure the bullies from school have long forgotten about you..........until you decided to give an interview to a newspaper and drag it all back up again.
Stop being such a drama queen and looking for attention. 15 mins of fame and all that.

I never suffered bullying as a child, thankfully, so I am in no position to say how deep this man's hurt was.

I have sympathy for the guy. Very much so.

[Deleted User]

Why exactly is this a news story? It was 40 years ago, while some things haven't changed (ignorance, bullying and homophobia), this kind of thing wouldn't happen as much now.

The thing with the bullies is that there's no guarantee they're actually still alive. Canada has excellent health care and I'm assuming this also applies to the mental health system over there (perhaps someone could verify?). You'd have to wonder why he didn't just get help, do something about this when it mattered (40 years is too late, considering that there's a possibility that staff at the school weren't even born when this event happened), and moved on with his life.

sunflower27

Dean09 wrote: »

Ok I know bullying is terrible and I feel sorry for the guy if he was tormented while he was in school, but come on.......42 years later and it's still his yearbook photo that "haunts" him??
It's one word in a yearbook from nearly half a century ago. I'm sure nobody reads it anymore and I'd be pretty sure the bullies from school have long forgotten about you..........until you decided to give an interview to a newspaper and drag it all back up again.
Stop being such a drama queen and looking for attention. 15 mins of fame and all that.

So easy to say when it didn't happen to you, eh

His daughter found it and read it, so yeah, it is still being read!

bijapos

Deleted User wrote: »

Why exactly is this a news story? It was 40 years ago, while some things haven't changed (ignorance, bullying and homophobia), this kind of thing wouldn't happen as much now.

It does exist today. Bullying for whatever reason is as bad as it ever was and probably worse for kids today.

At least years ago you could go home in the evening and feel that you have some respite from it for a few hours. With SMS, Facebook and all forms of social media it's 24/7 for some kids.

Bullies don't die away you know, they keep at it in some cases for the whole of their lives, making life a misery for whoever they decide to pick on this week or this year. I feel sorry for the guy and hope he gets some respite from the school.

Bob the Seducer

Dean09 wrote: »

Ok I know bullying is terrible and I feel sorry for the guy if he was tormented while he was in school, but come on.......42 years later and it's still his yearbook photo that "haunts" him??
It's one word in a yearbook from nearly half a century ago. I'm sure nobody reads it anymore and I'd be pretty sure the bullies from school have long forgotten about you..........until you decided to give an interview to a newspaper and drag it all back up again.
Stop being such a drama queen and looking for attention. 15 mins of fame and all that.

I'd say there are a couple of other things in play;
1. He's suffering terminal liver disease and is probably looking for some sort of closure on this.
2. In an exceptionally classy move...

the annual - including the offending entry - was plastered to the walls at his 40-year reunion.

3. His lawyer had to fight to get the entry changed in the copies held in the school's library (which the school district eventually gave in to).

[Deleted User]

bijapos wrote: »

It does exist today. Bullying for whatever reason is as bad as it ever was and probably worse for kids today.

At least years ago you could go home in the evening and feel that you have some respite from it for a few hours. With SMS, Facebook and all forms of social media it's 24/7 for some kids.

Bullies don't die away you know, they keep at it in some cases for the whole of their lives, making life a misery for whoever they decide to pick on this week or this year. I feel sorry for the guy and hope he gets some respite from the school.

Why? They've apologized. That's all they should have to do. 40 years is too late to come back and say, "hey, I got bullied here. Give me something." You can be sure now that, following this news story, they'll be clamping down on it a lot more and making sure it won't happen again.

He left it far too late, I think.

[Deleted User]

Deleted User wrote: »

Why? They've apologized. That's all they should have to do. 40 years is too late to come back and say, "hey, I got bullied here. Give me something." You can be sure now that, following this news story, they'll be clamping down on it a lot more and making sure it won't happen again.

He left it far too late, I think.

What?

She did not address the district's decision not to apologize, however. It's that reluctance, more than the refusal to cover travel expenses, that sticks in Tomlin's craw.

"They won't say, 'Sorry.' All they say is 'regret,'" said Tomlin. "I want an apology.

Read more: http://www.vancouversun.com/news/Yearbook+slur+still+haunts+Argyle+grad/7338575/story.html#ixzz28bgc074y

Truley

When Tomlin learned, on a visit to the school library, that the entry could still be viewed there, he asked Argyle to alter book, but was rebuffed, he said. In fact, far from being amended, the annual - including the offending entry - was plastered to the walls at his 40-year reunion.

Jeez some bullies never grow up. From his year book photo he looks quite a handsome guy. I really feel for him.

[Deleted User]

Dean09 wrote: »

Ok I know bullying is terrible and I feel sorry for the guy if he was tormented while he was in school, but come on.......42 years later and it's still his yearbook photo that "haunts" him??
It's one word in a yearbook from nearly half a century ago. I'm sure nobody reads it anymore and I'd be pretty sure the bullies from school have long forgotten about you..........until you decided to give an interview to a newspaper and drag it all back up again.
Stop being such a drama queen and looking for attention. 15 mins of fame and all that.

You know, reading about the daily tormenting he went through, I'm not surprised it's stuck with him. I think at this stage it's not about the yearbook on its own, it's the symbol of everything that happened. They brought it up again at a school reunion, they plastered it all over the walls again recently, and the school refuse to apologise.

Of course the bullies might have long forgotten - why wouldn't they? They weren't subjected to the bullying and they don't have this reminder.
There are still children killing themselves from extreme bullying, it's not so appalling or far fetched that a man diagnosed with a terminal disease wants to finally get an apology from the school who printed this, and try to move on before his death.

donegal_road

what more would you expect from a shower of huns who ran the first nations people off their land and herded up their children into Residential schools where they were abused, then forced the native people onto 'Reserves' where they live as second class citizens to this day.

frag420

Heroditas wrote: »

inmyday wrote: »

Wouldnt he be better off hunting down all the bullys for an apology. Go to the paper with their names and embarrass them?

Better still, just hunt them down Deliverance/Rambo style!

In deliverance didn't the local hillbillys fook the city hunters making them squeal like pigs?? Perhaps not the best idea for this hit unless he wants to validate the entry in the yearbook!!

mitosis

pussy

Larianne

Did he go to the school reunion? Why would you bother? Whether he's a 'fag' or not, those bullies will always think that about him.

I dunno, maybe because most Irish schools don't have Yearbooks, we don't understand how big a deal it is? I would have told him to burn the book and get on with his life.

Wanderer2010

I feel sorry for him, its truly sickening to think he is even NOW facing resistance from the authorities for simply requesting it to be removed completely and an apology given, Surely 42 years is enough time for boards of management etc to change hands so there would be no red-faced principals being rebuked. The fact that they are digging their heels in suggests a homophobic culture STILL exists in the culture of this school. I hope the bullies have had horrible lives as Karma, little pricks, they dont even realise the damage they cause.

El Guapo!

donegal_road wrote: »

what more would you expect from a shower of huns who ran the first nations people off their land and herded up their children into Residential schools where they were abused, then forced the native people onto 'Reserves' where they live as second class citizens to this day.

Yeah because bullying doesn't happen in Ireland.
The anti-America brigade on here gets more ridiculous every day.

Wanderer2010

Dean09 wrote: »

Yeah because bullying doesn't happen in Ireland.
The anti-America brigade on here gets more ridiculous every day.

I guess that feeling wasnt helped by the case of the girl who killed herself in an American school after months of bullying and being called "Irish pig" "potato bitch" etc and the girls/boys faced trial later on. Ironic that young American boys and girls would bully another girl for being Irish, seeing as most of their own descendants had Irish blood in them and half of them probably came to America on the coffin ships, bloody nerve of them. :mad:

El Guapo!

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

I guess that feeling wasnt helped by the case of the girl who killed herself in an American school after months of bullying and being called "Irish pig" "potato bitch" etc and the girls/boys faced trial later on. Ironic that young American boys and girls would bully another girl for being Irish, seeing as most of their own descendants had Irish blood in them and half of them probably came to America on the coffin ships, bloody nerve of them. :mad:

Yeah that was terrible. But my point still stands.....bullying happens here too.

By your logic, you could say the same about Ireland. How dare we be racist towards immigrants when the irish emigrated to every country on the planet and we're scattered all over the world. The cheek of us!
See what I mean? I just think the "Anti-America at all costs" attitude is laughable.

El Guapo!

donegal_road wrote: »

what more would you expect from a shower of huns who ran the first nations people off their land and herded up their children into Residential schools where they were abused, then forced the native people onto 'Reserves' where they live as second class citizens to this day.

Also, I forgot to add......Vancouver is in Canada.
Geography fail.

GeograFail if you will.

Wanderer2010

Dean09 wrote: »

Yeah that was terrible. But my point still stands.....bullying happens here too.

By your logic, you could say the same about Ireland. How dare we be racist towards immigrants when the irish emigrated to every country on the planet and we're scattered all over the world. The cheek of us!
See what I mean? I just think the "Anti-America at all costs" attitude is laughable.

Im not seeing the Anti-America vibe here as much as you say but in my defense Im not here too often so it could exist..

Well, yes, only the truly moronic would hate other nationalities who live here based on their skin color alone. The problem is when people make some valid points about how much beneifts foreign people get, their jobs etc etc, they are jumped on for being "racist" when in fact they are just trying to make some points but the PC crowd jumps on them like a pack of rabid dogs!

juan.kerr

Reminds me of this thread: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=81122657 and Ghandees sister. Althought I'm beginning to suspect that he doesn't have a sister.

donegal_road

Dean09 wrote: »

Yeah because bullying doesn't happen in Ireland.
The anti-America brigade on here gets more ridiculous every day.

Im not being anti American, I was referring to the residential schools program for first nations children which was a movement in Canada, where this story is based.

El Guapo!

donegal_road wrote: »

Dean09 wrote: »

Yeah because bullying doesn't happen in Ireland.
The anti-America brigade on here gets more ridiculous every day.

Im not being anti American, I was referring to the residential schools program for first nations children which was a movement in Canada, where this story is based.

Well in that case I was mistaken. I thought you were talking about the Native Americans. Apologies for the mix-up.

El Guapo!

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

The problem is when people make some valid points about how much beneifts foreign people get, their jobs etc etc, they are jumped on for being "racist" when in fact they are just trying to make some points but the PC crowd jumps on them like a pack of rabid dogs!

I fully agree with you on this point.

super_furry

The man is dying, don't know if many people picked that up but the story says he has terminal liver disease. What's wrong with him trying to right this wrong and get a proper apology before he dies?