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Child Item

Caught ****

FANTAPANTS

Admit we have all been caught at it at some stage but what was your excuse..... My missus caught me 1 day in toilet and then accused me of biting my toe nails.. i hoped up off the jacks, in her head it looked like i was chewing my toe nails, was to embarssed to tell her i was **** but **** me i was embarssed to think she thought i was chewing my ****ing toe nails

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FANTAPANTS

Sir Pompous Righteousness wrote: »

I just can't understand why couples, who are in a sexual relationship, aren't comfortable with seeing each other masturbating.

cause it would be hard to explain to my wife im thinking about a 18 year old sweedish porn star and im making her a new arse hole.........

Light Switch

FANTAPANTS wrote: »

Light Switch wrote: »

I got thrown out of an apartment complex with my first GF when i was 15......

how high was it

About 6 inches.

MJ23

Sure you get a bad case of the Blueballs if you don't have an allied Irish regularly.
Never been caught though.

df1985

Mate of mine was caught by his sister going at himself on the bedroom floor, his awful excuse:

"I was doing sit ups!"

not the type of lad who does sit ups....the sister told everyone!

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

mother caught me once but that wasn't the worst part. the worst part was the next six months every time she was walking towards my room she'd knock very very loudly on the wall as she approached

TeddyTedson

I don't **** soooo :-/

Real Life

df1985 wrote: »

Mate of mine was caught by his sister going at himself on the bedroom floor, his awful excuse:

"I was doing sit ups!"

not the type of lad who does sit ups....the sister told everyone!

did the sister give him a hand?

Grayson

Guys, next time you get caught in the shower, just be honest

"It's my penis and I'll wash it as fast as I like"

RobbingBandit

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I don't **** soooo :-/

Did you lose a hand?:(

TeddyTedson

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Did you lose a hand?:(

No, but I lie

wandatowell

I was caught **** to the Bangbang Babes on Sky at about 2pm on day by my mam.

Well, I fell asleep with my cock in my hand and she came home from work, walked into the living room, turned the tv off and didnt bother wakin me........ Its never been talked about in the house thank god,

beeroclock

mkdon05 wrote: »

I knew a lad who got caught in his bedroom by his sister. He was freaked that he didnt get to finish so he went out his back garden and climbed up a tree. He started going at himself again whilst sitting up on a branch, when his Ma shouted out at him, he got a fright and fell out of the tree with his lad hangin out! Awkwardness ensued

Also when i was in college, i went into the jacks for a Barry White. Sitting on the pot I could see the shadows on the ground of the fella in the next stall pullin the stomach outta himself. I had a bus receipt in my pocket, so I wrote on it "No ****" and chucked it underneath the partition. I was out of my stall before him and was washing my hands. His stall door flings open and he was quicker than Usain Bolt to the exit. Dirty git went back to his class with a stench of love truncheon of his digits.

Can you please refrain from posting on this interweb site thingy Im i stitches reading this

zenno

I don't need to **** but i'm a wanker none the less.

--Kaiser--

20 seconds in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XurNuM-tB20

Intensive Care Bear

Sir Pompous Righteousness wrote: »

I just can't understand why couples, who are in a sexual relationship, aren't comfortable with seeing each other masturbating.

I couldn't see it been a problem for many people, feeling left out would probably be a problem for some people.

zenno

Originally Posted by Sir Pompous Righteousness
I just can't understand why couples, who are in a sexual relationship, aren't comfortable with seeing each other masturbating.

1210m5g wrote: »

I couldn't see it been a problem for many people, feeling left out would probably be a problem for some people.

I can't figure out why some people would be uncomfortable with seeing each other masturbating ? sure how do they manage to have sex in that case or rise to the occasion if not doing something to turn each other on ?. Many question marks on this.

Strada

Marcus_Crassus wrote: »

Ah sure it's happened to the best of us.

My dad walked in on me with my hand down my trousers and Scary Movie 2 paused on a bit where the birds walked down the stairs in suspenders. He just walked out. I was about 15, was mortified, and felt like jumping out the window. Couldn't look him in the eye for weeks. Played Metal Gear Solid 2 straight after, so yeah, every cloud has a silver lining and all that.

For feck sake your dad is probably still ****. Im a dad of adult daughters and I am a big wanker, love nothing more than a good tug to porn or a good BJ by an escort. Done the Aer Lingus, Ryanair and Singapore Airlines mile high ****. Used to love a good **** while driving a van in a previous job some sensation. Car is not the same.

smash

Strada wrote: »

For feck sake your dad is probably still ****. Im a dad of adult daughters and I am a big wanker, love nothing more than a good tug to porn or a good BJ by an escort. Done the Aer Lingus, Ryanair and Singapore Airlines mile high ****. Used to love a good **** while driving a van in a previous job some sensation. Car is not the same.

What have your daughters got to do with anything?

BizzyC

^^^
Hopefully just to indicate his age.

Years back in secondary school we were having a party early in the afternoon before my mates parents got home. He passed out drunk, so the lads decided to strip him naked, leave him on the couch in the front room and put a tape of porn on TV (pre-DVD).
We left then before his parents came home, with the granny.

He doesn't remember much, but he woke up that night in his own bed with a vague memory of his Dad helping him walk through the house to his room.

Agricola

When my Dad was mid to late 60s, I used to often turn on the skybox to find it on one of the old 900 channels. He used to somehow manage to press the reminder button on some of them too and they'd pop up on the sky planner when you'd be looking for something you recorded yourself! He was never great at covering his tracks!

Never really decided on whether Im abit disgusted or proud of him tbh!

stevenmu

You know you're getting old when you need to set a reminder to watch a bit of porn.

phoenix999

My sister walked in on my brother **** in front of the computer. He thought he had locked the door....he hadn't. She then proceeded to tell everyone in the house what she had seen. Mum didnt talk to him for a week.

Topper Harley

Agricola wrote: »

When my Dad was mid to late 60s, I used to often turn on the skybox to find it on one of the old 900 channels. He used to somehow manage to press the reminder button on some of them too and they'd pop up on the sky planner when you'd be looking for something you recorded yourself! He was never great at covering his tracks!

Never really decided on whether Im abit disgusted or proud of him tbh!

You're defo proud. He was a man and he wasn't ashamed of the fact so he didn't even feel the need to cover his tracks. Legend. :cool:

rgmmg

One of the lads in work was having a go at himself in the toilet at home. He thought he'd locked the door. But he hadn't. Has Dad bust at which point my mate,trousers round his ankles, threw himself on the ground declaring "I've got a thorn in my side. It's really sore" He got married a few years later during which the song "Thorn in My Side" was played by the best man

Wacker The Attacker

Danger **** is totally overrated.

**** with a piece of fruit or vegetable up your arse is way better

Rothko

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Danger **** is totally overrated.

Whenever I see the term "danger ****", I always imagine some lad having a **** during a battle, like on the beaches of Normandy during WWII.

Wacker The Attacker

Suas11 wrote: »

Whenever I see the term "danger ****", I always imagine some lad having a **** during a battle, like on the beaches of Normandy during WWII.

**** private ryan

Sariah

Myself and dh gave up **** 8 years ago. Up to that we were both mad into it. Has definitely improved our sex life as we rely on each other for all our sexual gratfication.

In saying that I once decided to a have a **** at my desk in work. I didnt get to orgasm as someone walked over. A few years later I met the person who interrupted me and told him what i had been doing. He had wondered alright.

saintsaltynuts

I went to the Doctor's last week and he said.."You'll have to stop ****".I said "Why?".He replied.."Cause your upsetting all the patients in the Waiting Room".

Piliger

FANTAPANTS wrote: »

Admit we have all been caught at it at some stage

Ehhhhh ... no .... never :cool: