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Child Item

Crying out method????

Ellsbells

We are at the end of our rope here as DS has not slept for a full night in 8 months. Typically he wakes 3 or 4 times per night. There have been a variety of issues - reflux, rotavirus, teeth etc but at this stage i am getting sick all the time with the exhaustion. OH travels to work so we cant keep it up. Even the baby's consultant said its time to try controlled crying as its mainly behavioural at this stage.

Any hints / tips from people who have tried the crying out method and what worked for you?

To those who dont agree with it, please dont respond as we have made up our minds to try it before our little family is blown apart from exhaustion. Its our last resort.

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bookworms

Controlled crying is hard work but the results are worth it. We tried it with our first DS and never had any sleep problems with him. If he ever woke he could "self sooth" and get back to sleep himself. Happy days. My second DS was another story. He is as stubborn as a donkey and controlled crying did not work with him. It came down to a battle of wills. However don't let that put you off. It will be hard work for the first couple of weeks don't let anyone tell you any different just be consistent. You are trying to break a habit and develop a new one with your child. Good luck with it!

pwurple

Not tried it, but I'd recommend you read up on it well first and use the clock to time the crying periods. Get the book and stick to it.

Also, the No Cry sleep solution is supposed to be a good 3rd alternative if cry it out doesn't work either.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Through-Foreword/dp/0071381392

Hannibal Smith

Aww ellsbells...that's so rough. We uses our version of the crying it out method....I'm not sure what the official way of doing it is.....but i'll tell you our way and see what you think.

Routine is important because its a schedule for you and them to make sure baby isn't over tired...once they're over tired forget about it!

So, before they're due a sleep give him a feed, put them in the cot, close the curtains and give them a soother if they use one....we have a musical mobile that helps him dose off. When he cries...leave him a couple of minutes. Go in resettle with the soother etc. Some people say don't talk to them, but I can't do that lol

. I rub his cheek and tell him night night. Sometimes he wants to hold my hand and I do that for a few minutes...I want him to feel safe and secure not sad, but I want him to sleep lol. The idea is to try and break the habit that when he cries you come, but for him to know that you will come back. The first time, stay in the room nearby because you don't want to be running up and down the stairs every couple of minutes. Then after a few days extend the time you leave him by a couple of minutes.

Don't let him get hysterical...always resettle him and trust that he's safe and secure and he will get to thestage where you put him in his cot and he just goes asleep.

Does that explain it at all? Lol

Ellsbells

Well he goes to sleep but its the staying asleep thats the problem. the consultant said his system is mature enough to handle the reflux and that (after 2 stays in hospital) their verdict is that its mainly behavioral.

ariana`

We did a version of it but our son was 18mths so a bit older but it worked. We only had 1 really bad night and then gradually the problem was fixed by night 4. My son had been in a good routine which went askew after we left him overnight, that he had been in a routine prior to that may have made it easier. It took us 2 very sleep deprived months to work up to doing it.

My main advice would be read up as much as you can, sit down together and discuss, discuss, discuss. Discuss it when you're both calm and not in the middle of the night when you're at the end of your tether. You absolutely have to be on the same page as each other, have a very clear plan and support each other. It took everything in me that first night to follow through, I'll never forget it, but I never looked back since. Good luck.

littlemissfixit

I have done gradual withdrawal with daughter when she was about 7mths, and cry it out when she was 20 mths and went back to old habit. I second previous post, discuss it well, have a plan, written if you need to so you will stick to same thing even when tired at night.
Gradual withdrawal is when you go in the room to resettle them and then maybe stay by the cot until they sleep, then following night sit on a chair, moving the chair back gradually and moving out of the room eventually, took maybe a week. Important thing is to not pick up, avoid eye contact and interraction.
Cry it out, when she was older was to go in at first to resettle, give soother and say night night, next time or if she continued crying I would time 5 min. go in, say nothing give soother no eye contact or interraction, then 10 min. etc. The first night we done it, she got to 40 min. in total (so 5 min, 10, 15 and then was asleep after 10 min.) the next night she didn't even get to 10 min. Then again, it was not a long time habit, so dont discourage if it takes a while, just stick to it. Depends on the child too, my girl is confident trusting individual and I was confident that she would understand quickly and would do her no harm!

I hear a lot about the no cry sleep method, maybe I'll try that with my son if needs be, just to give it a go.

Good luck!

ariana`

littlemissfixit wrote: »

Cry it out, when she was older was to go in at first to resettle, give soother and say night night, next time or if she continued crying I would time 5 min. go in, say nothing give soother no eye contact or interraction, then 10 min. etc. The first night we done it, she got to 40 min. in total (so 5 min, 10, 15 and then was asleep after 10 min.) the next night she didn't even get to 10 min. Then again, it was not a long time habit, so dont discourage if it takes a while, just stick to it. Depends on the child too, my girl is confident trusting individual and I was confident that she would understand quickly and would do her no harm!

I hear a lot about the no cry sleep method, maybe I'll try that with my son if needs be, just to give it a go.

Good luck!

This is what but we did 1min, 3, 5, 7, 9 of crying and thankfully we never got past 9mins of crying. He was 18mths old and we had to do it during the night when he woke moreso than going to bed. He had self-soothed up to that point but after us leaving him for a night he wanted us to stay in the room with him until he fell asleep or take him into our bed, we stuck this out for 2 months but we were exhausted and could hack no more, we tried gradual withdrawal first but it didn't work, as soon as we got close to the door he got hysterical again. This method worked very quickly, 1st night max was 9mins crying, 2nd night max was less again i can't remember exactly but it was sorted by the 4th night. I'd say overall i probably cried more than he did

Ellsbells

The problem is that my fella is used to having bottles (were trying to get his weight up due to reflux) and the max we can give him per bottle is 150ml X 5 times per day.

wmpdd3

Is that all his stomach can take or is that the most you were advised to give him?

What does he eat? Breakfast, lunch and dinner or just breakfast and lunch?

My daughter couldnt take more than 4/5 oz at 8 months, we had to give her 4 small bowls of food and a bottle afterwards, it was variable how much bottle she would drink. Too much and we saw it again. She work for a 5am bottle until she was well able to hold the bottle and feed herself, but I have to say she was hungry, water wouldnt do.

I read the No Cry sleep solution and was basically whats written above.

Best of luck, I sympathise, last night was the first night in a year that I got 3 hrs sleep, really not used to this!

pwurple

Ellsbells wrote: »

The problem is that my fella is used to having bottles (were trying to get his weight up due to reflux) and the max we can give him per bottle is 150ml X 5 times per day.

Ellsbells, that's normal amounts for 8 months. Mine would take 120-150 ml each feed, 5 or 6 milk feeds a day.

Ellsbells

The dietician has him on 4 solids and 5 bottles per day. Breakfast and 3 meals.

Hannibal Smith

Why do you think the bottles are a problem ellsbells? Do you think he's not getting enough? 5 bottles seems plenty

Ellsbells

Well they probably are enough but he still roars til he gets a bottle / bottles during the night. He is still 1 lb underweight.

homeOwner

My DD had severe reflux and was also a bad sleeper, we went with the controlled crying method around 1 year old as we were not getting any sleep.

She is now 28 months old and sleeps much better although she reverts back every now and again (usually after we have had an overnight away or after a bout of sickness) to her old habits and we have to do it again for a few nights but then she settles.

The only caveat to this is that you need to make sure she isnt sick, or hasnt got a wet nappy or isnt too hot etc... you need to make sure she is just crying to get your attention rather that that there is something wrong.

Here is our method:
- Do the night time routine and put her in cot after bottle
- If she starts crying leave her cry for 5 mins, then go back into the room and put her lying down again, hand on her back rubbing gently. Then leave
- If she starts crying leave her cry for 10 mins, then go back into the room and put her lying down again, hand on her back rubbing gently. Then leave
- If she starts crying leave her cry for 15 mins, then go back into the room and put her lying down again, hand on her back rubbing gently. Then leave

Rinse and repeat adding 5 mins each time until she is asleep.
We find we have a hard 2 nights at this (usually about an hour) and by the 3rd night she sleeps on her own.

However the very first time we did it, it went on for almost 3 hours and it was very difficult on us...eventually you end up leaving them for over 30 mins as you are adding 5 mins each time to the wait time....so it gets harder and harder..... but it does work. The main thing is to be consistent.

Ellsbells

Thanks all.

We kind of combined methods and never let him get too upset and he knew we were there after a couple of minutes. Now he naps in his new room and is put down at night and there is not a sound out Of him. Last night, despite him having bad cough, teething and sore bum he only work at 3 am for a few seconds and due to coughing. He then slept til 7 - it's a great result and even one nights sleep has been heaven.

pwurple

Fantastic result! Well done Ellsbells.

Ellsbells

Well done to OH - he put in the sleepless nights

fingers and toes crossed it lasts.

RustyBridges

Dear All,

our 5 month old wakes almost every night at 4-4.30am crying.
we know she is not wet, hungry, thirsty, cold or hot.
the only way we can get her back to sleep is by popping her into our bed.
she sleeps fine then.
any advice on how to kick this 4am habit?
we have just seen the back of colic so this is the next big hurdle.

monkeysnapper

RustyBridges wrote: »

Dear All,

our 5 month old wakes almost every night at 4-4.30am crying.
we know she is not wet, hungry, thirsty, cold or hot.
the only way we can get her back to sleep is by popping her into our bed.
she sleeps fine then.
any advice on how to kick this 4am habit?
we have just seen the back of colic so this is the next big hurdle.

Sorry for back seat modding but you should just start your own thread. You'll probably get more replies:)