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Mistakes you've made at work (and kept quiet)

brummytom

I imagine some people will have a few good stories, so, being a gentleman, I'll start with a shit one to make yours look better.

Earlier today, I and a colleague moved a body from the ward to the mortuary. In the mortuary, you have to move the patient from the 'box' they're taken down in to another trolley that slides into the morgue lockers.

We each took an end and went to move the body. We soon discovered the brakes weren't on the trolley and the patient landed slap-bang in the middle of the floor. I was praying rigamortis wouldn't set in and we'd be left with a dead old woman bent in half. After a lot of struggling (she was deceptively heavy), we got the job done. Surprisingly, we didn't tell the bosses.

Anyway... any good stories?

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marshbaboon

about 3 fity wrote: »

i wouldnt dream of saying it here, just incase, ya know yourself. its a lot of manual labour, an awful lot of materials (€9000 worth) and a bit of expertise. all boils down to bad advice i gave

Does it involve regular drives out to the phoenix park at 3am?

about 3 fity

marshbaboon wrote: »

Does it involve regular drives out to the phoenix park at 3am?

ha! could be worse i suppose if i was working for a concert company, heard twas bad up there

Vicar in a tutu

BUBBLE WRAP wrote: »

I worked in a hardware shop for a while. One day a customer walks in he asks me for a side stone. I bring him over to a part of the shop where they sell, small head stones for graves. (Not the headstone itself, but a small headstone with a prayer on it.) Anyway I turn to him and say, Im so sorry for your loss. He replies, Why? its a sidestone I want for shapening tools. The shop lost one customer that day.

ha! Love the image of him looking like a psychopath sharpening his tools on a headstone:pac:

irish_goat

Had to work on a Tuesday night on my last day of exams for that year. Had a few pints after the exam and ended up quite tipsy when I arrived in work. Fortunately it was dead and it was only me and the supervisor who got on great with me. She copped I was a bit drunk so sent me to the cellar and told me to tidy up down there. Barely a minute there and I tried to move a trolley load of spirits and wines and ended up knocking 2 cases of bottles of wine onto the floor. Swept up the glass but the place stunk of wine so I pretty much flooded the cellar floor and threw beer line cleaner(only stuff we had down there) around the place to hide the smell before sweeping it all down the drain.

The supervisor came down to check on me and thought I was doing a really good, thorough job. The place was spotless when I left it tbf. Since I was going back home for the summer 2 days later I didn't bother telling anyone/making a note in the wastage book. :pac:

Pottler

about 3 fity wrote: »

ha! could be worse i suppose if i was working for a concert company, heard twas bad up there

Sooo, your uptake is as bad as your username.:D Ever heard of professional liability insurance? You want me to what? Errr, no, let's not do that, phone my insurance company, or better still, phone my bosses insurance company, Mr Barrister Sir. You, my good man, are being shafted. Please pull up your drawers and desist. It's just not Irish, that whole, admitting it's your fault thing, you're letting the side down.:) On a more seriouse note, cop the feck on, there is a reason we have insurance policies, and your situation is one of them. Allow the insurance to dictate policy. Enjoy your weekends.

about 3 fity

Pottler wrote: »

there is a reason we have insurance policies, and your situation is one of them. Allow the insurance to dictate policy.

unfortunately there is absolutly no hope of the insurance covering it. thats how ass ways i fecked up. thanks for the advice anyway though. dont want to go off topic but isnt part of our problem not admitting to anything and hoping nobody has to take the blame

3rdDegree

brummytom wrote: »

I imagine some people will have a few good stories, so, being a gentleman, I'll start with a shit one to make yours look better.

Earlier today, I and a colleague moved a body from the ward to the mortuary. In the mortuary, you have to move the patient from the 'box' they're taken down in to another trolley that slides into the morgue lockers.

We each took an end and went to move the body. We soon discovered the brakes weren't on the trolley and the patient landed slap-bang in the middle of the floor. I was praying rigamortis wouldn't set in and we'd be left with a dead old woman bent in half. After a lot of struggling (she was deceptively heavy), we got the job done. Surprisingly, we didn't tell the bosses.

Anyway... any good stories?

I always wondered, why do they transport bodies in that box like frame covered in a white sheet. Is it so people won't see the shaper of a dead body under a sheet?

Colmustard

Years ago I was told to clear out and tidy a store, there were there was a load of these big plastic things and I thought they must be used for painting covers so I lay one out put all the rubbish in it tied it up and threw everthing into the skip.

About a month later the owner was tearing the place apart looking for his sails, I did the honourable thing and said nothing, I believe the things cost a fortune.

The best I heard was my cousin, he was a jeweller, he was asked to collect some gold about 5 grands worth, he got the strips then he decided to have a macdonalds, about a half an hour later he goes bollox and ran back to the macs, he found the gold in the bin.

maggege

My biggest mistake was to work for my previous company. Should change the job much earlier as they had little or no respect for my work or me, not paying on time, eventually ended up in Labor Relation Commission claiming my wages back..

My boss was unbelievable.. When I finished some work I notified him by email that some issue was resolved and gave details what was the problem etc. Then client ringed he answered and said that HI just fixed the issue (never mined that my desk was next to his..). Often behaviour.

The other day he had to change part of an algorithm to calculate new interest rate for some client but the client didn't specify what that new rate should be he just said: increase by half percent current rate. He struggled with that half day and just an hour before living he gave me this task to work it out

Unfortunately he asked me: would that be correct to add after 12.5 another dot and 5?

Where To

maggege wrote: »

My biggest mistake was to work for my previous company. Should change the job much earlier as they had little or no respect for my work or me, not paying on time, eventually ended up in Labor Relation Commission claiming my wages back..

My boss was unbelievable.. When I finished some work I notified him by email that some issue was resolved and gave details what was the problem etc. Then client ringed he answered and said that HI just fixed the issue (never mined that my desk was next to his..). Often behaviour.

The other day he had to change part of an algorithm to calculate new interest rate for some client but the client didn't specify what that new rate should be he just said: increase by half percent current rate. He struggled with that half day and just an hour before living he gave me this task to work it out Unfortunately he asked me: would that be correct to add after 12.5 another dot and 5?

Ummm. . . . that's shocking.

Probably.

Maybe.

Huh?

maggege

Where To wrote: »

Ummm. . . . that's shocking.

I know!

fasttalkerchat

Can guest posting be allowed here? I have a few crackers.

brummytom

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

is it true the stiffs fart and belch and all. i remember billy connolly saying so:D

I've heard that loads, never had it happen to me though. Have had a few 'leak' before though. Every fluid inside them just decides to come out.

3rdDegree wrote: »

I always wondered, why do they transport bodies in that box like frame covered in a white sheet. Is it so people won't see the shaper of a dead body under a sheet?

Basically, yeah. I think the idea is that seeing a dead body roll past you while you're waiting outside a ward doesn't really instill confidence.

aujopimur

A friend of mine recieved a small parcel at work, it was opened by a fellow worker who discovered it was packed in a fag box and had wires attached,
"BOMB" he screams.
My friend new what was in the packet (a themister) but said nothing, he and the rest of the staff enjoyed a two hour break while the bomb squad dealt with the suspicious device.

echo.lima

I've crashed a forklift into a set of heavy duty doors and said nothing, I've taken naps on the top storage racks in the warehouse 40 feet in the air I had to climb up the racks like batman to get up

. I've taken a load of king size mattresses and piled them up in the main bay and have jumped from the second floor of the warehouse onto the mattresses...that was fun.

I've acted the bollox in the most stylish ways possible, I'd elaborate but I'm half bollixed maybe I'll continue tomorow

Adyx

I think I've mentioned some of these before:

First bar I worked in, myself and another floorstaff were sent to our sister nightclub up the street to get some vodka. We used 3L bottles of Smirnoff and they come 4 in a box. Trying to be a hero, I was carrying 2 boxes and right on the busiest nightlife street in Waterford at 10PM on a Saturday night I dropped one of the boxes. The other guy just told me to keep going and he'd sort it. That was the last I heard of it. :pac:

In another pub, I was working in the store one day and tapped up a Heineken keg for one of the bars. What I didn't know was that that particular tap had been removed but the beer line left in (in fact it was pointing right at the till in the bar). Place was destroyed in beer. I think my supervisor might have known about it but I never heard anything about it.

Finally same pub but now I'm the supervisor. I was collecting money from each till to pay back the float and I had €300 in my pocket from one till. It must have fell out because when I got to the office it was gone. Obviously I told my manager but as the place was pretty much owned by the banks at that stage, nobody gave a fcuk. :P

Where To

Adyx wrote: »

I think I've mentioned some of these before:

First bar I worked in, myself and another floorstaff were sent to our sister nightclub up the street to get some vodka. We used 3L bottles of Smirnoff and they come 4 in a box. Trying to be a hero, I was carrying 2 boxes and right on the busiest nightlife street in Waterford at 10PM on a Saturday night I dropped one of the boxes. The other guy just told me to keep going and he'd sort it. That was the last I heard of it. :pac:

In another pub, I was working in the store one day and tapped up a Heineken keg for one of the bars. What I didn't know was that that particular tap had been removed but the beer line left in (in fact it was pointing right at the till in the bar). Place was destroyed in beer. I think my supervisor might have known about it but I never heard anything about it.

Finally same pub but now I'm the supervisor. I was collecting money from each till to pay back the float and I had €300 in my pocket from one till. It must have fell out because when I got to the office it was gone. Obviously I told my manager but as the place was pretty much owned by the banks at that stage, nobody gave a fcuk. :P

Not a bit wonder.