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What to do

shelly818

I have been seeing this guy i work with for the last 3 months and two days ago i said that i presumed we were just going to do the "just friends" thing. i said this because i was unsure where i stood with him and it seemed to be too much effort on his part to see me, despite us living in the same area.

His response to this was that he didn't know what we were and that his head has been all over the place and for now it might be best. first off what i didn't like was the for "now" bit, we agreed to be just friends, but he then started messaging me being all "how are you" and being his usual flirty self, basically acting the way he was when we were seeing each other. At this point I just stopped replying.

Then today in work when he was in my section of the shopping trying to fix a technical issue i could see him looking at me from the corner of my eye! Then to make it all worse i was going to my bag to get a drink and ran into him and he invited me on lunch, which i refused, he followed me to by bag locker and started a conversation with me, i was polite and talked a little bit, but was like i have to get back to work.

I then got very annoyed because he was openly flirting with me and i'm thinking its all because i stated that i wanted to be friends.
His excuse of his head being all over the place has been used before, it normally means there is something up with his child, he had a child in his teens and doesn't have the best relationship with the mother.. that is all vert hush hush as even his parents don't know about it. I know about it and told him it didn't bother me and i could deal with the issues he had. But now I'm so confused, annoyed and pissed off.
My friend who is friends with him is saying that he is just wanting what he can't have and i am inclined to agree with her. But what gets me more is that i like him, he makes me happy when we are together and i get all excited at the prospect of seeing him.

I don't know what to do, his actions today annoyed me….. has anyone ever been in a similar situation as me or have any advice because I don't know what to do and i feel like I'm going to start annoying the people around me always asking for advice?

Oh and we are both in our early 20's, I'm a year older than him.

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Ellsbells

shelly818 wrote: »

he had a child in his teens and doesn't have the best relationship with the mother.. that is all vert hush hush as even his parents don't know about it.

This is way too much baggage and messing for such a young age... He is messing you around by being non committal and then playing with your head once ye have agreed to be friends... Move on and meet someone who has their head screwed on a bit better.

dellas1979

His parents dont know about the child?

If it is as you say, stay well away.

shelly818

well his mom knows but nobody else knows.

I've been doing my best to distance my self from him, ignoring messages and the like, but its hard because we have mutual friends and work together, he seems to be going out of his way to end up doing something with me, which then ends in him flirting with me, according to the girls in work staring at me when im not looking....

Is there anything I could say to him, that will make him see that he cant keep doing this to me and needs to either get his **** together and be with me or just be friends..

Zoria

He's messing you about. He wants a casual thing with you, no strings attached. If that is not what you want, continue ignoring his texts, and have a talk with him about boundaries. Friends only or nothing. There is something off colour about the situation with his child, sounds messy so steer well clear.

shelly818

I have been putting distance between the two of us but he is making it very hard and to me it seems as if he has been going out of his way to have face to face contact! Everyone in work says he's being very obvious about it!

I can't stand it as its making me nervous at work... i've been thinking about talking to him next time there is face to face contact and saying that the way he's been acting is unfair to me and he needs to sort his **** out and decide what he wants!

Ellsbells

Just ignore him. Sounds like you are thriving on the 'attention'... Get on with your work and don't entertain him. He is a messer.

As an aside, why are you bringing your work colleagues into a personal matter? It's very unprofessional

Belfastmedic

Basically block his number.

If all else fails just say you have started seeing someone recently that should make him back off.

I bet if he got you into bed you would see a different side to him, i.e cold, no texts, avoiding you etc then you woud just feel used.

dannyc31

the guy just wants the easy sex if he can get it plain and simple. there is no point in even over thinking anything with regards what he is saying i.e "my head is all over the place" in fact its not his head thats all over the place, its his life.

the situation with the kid sounds like a disaster and i'm sure he is up the walls with it but that shouldnt be brought in on you. its not your problem.

imo the guy is getting off on having some sense of control in his life by flipping between giving you the impression he wants to be with you and then the next saying his head is all over the place. dont entertain this nonsense.

if he really liked you he wouldnt mess you about like this so just blank him as much as you can and dont entertain his flirting. he'll soon get the message.