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So the GF dumped me :(

srm23

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mauzo

Ring her and fart down the phone

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Hmmmmm isn't it obvious?

Keep sending her poo parcels, shes bound to come around.

BornToKill

The internet broke it and now you think the internet will fix it again? Hmmmm ...

scudzilla

Go round to her gaff in the middle of the night, break in, shit on her chest and leave, she'll love that

kirving

Febreze?

El Guapo!

For some reason I think this never happened...............hmm...........

EoghanIRL

Seems legit

Miss Lockhart

lol OP, the Inbetweeners is not supposed to be used as a guide to dating!

ft9

srm23 wrote: »

Hey all,

I had met this great girl a while ago on a night out we exchanged numbers & i knew she was a classy type who wouldn't be up for anything on the first night.

I contact her & we went for a few dates, on the third date i couldn't help but notice the sight of condoms, ribbed for her pleasure, in her purse so i knew it was game on :cool:

a couple of weeks later & we were officially going out, but there was still a shyness or trepidation in our behavior towards each other unless drunk.

One morning in her bed i was thinking of how i could put her at ease in my company & try to take the nervousness out of our budding romance, i had it! or so i thought

I threw out a vicious, obnoxious fart in bed and then held her head underneath the sheets, i thought it came across as playful as i read about it on the internet, but she vomited all over the sheets :eek: the sight/smell of this combined with the odour of my own fart made me vomit on her!

.........how can i win her back?

First thing you need to do is realise that this never actually happened.

Diego Maradona

Trololol

EoghanIRL

Dean09 wrote: »

For some reason I think this never happened...............hmm...........

Don't feed the trolls

Supersiderman

Plenty more fish in the sea.

mikemac1

Sleep with her sister
She'll be jealous
She will want you back

srm23

benwavner wrote: »

, shes bound to come around.

i think she is still passed out from the fart

Jen Pigs Fly

F*ck her sister.
take pictures.

Bítches love pictures

mrwhimwham

scudzilla wrote: »

Go round to her gaff in the middle of the night, break in, shit on her chest and leave, she'll love that

I thought I was the only person who likes to tarmac birds! :P

Ghandee

xxxJennyxxx wrote: »

F*ck her sister.
take pictures.

Bítches love pictures

Me too, giggidy....

PizzamanIRL

Go asleep OP, stop making stupid threads.

Chagan

Take it a step further: She dumped you, You take a dump on her

Jen Pigs Fly

Ghandee wrote: »

Me too, giggidy....

Sure he may as well just put the pics up on one of those "We hate (insert some random sluts name here)" that were popular a few years ago.
Everytime you share another picture becomes available.

defo win your gf back then

OMARS_COMING_

This is easily resolved.

Start following her around,to keep track of where she goes and who she is with.After a few days start trying to peek into her windows to see what she is up to,taking a few pictures if possible.

Send her a poke on Facebook,then message her telling her that you are a changed man and you made a mistake and ask for a date.

If she says no,call to her house and pin her to the ground and tell her the devil is coming for her.

She will love you more than ever before.

yizorselves

Well she'll never find you attractive again. Everytime she see's you she'll be reminded of that eggy turnipy stench you subjected her to

spagboll

if OP is serious then OP is a legend

admiralofthefleet

instead of a putrid dutch oven go the whole hog and give her a devils banquet

edit: if the story is true then the op is a legend

Richard Hillman

Have a posh **** everyday and send the condoms to her in the post saying you only thought of her during them. She'd love it.

ITS_A_BADGER

Fart in a perfume bottle and send it to her, make her relive the horrible experience!

crazy cabbage

As you can see OP after hours is not the best place to ask for personal advice

srm23

crazy cabbage wrote: »

As you can see OP after hours is not the best place to ask for personal advice

i dont think these posters get it, its as if they want me to make the situation worse

jimmycrackcorm

Classy you say? Classy girls don't puke when you fart.

LoYL

Thinly veiled "I want to talk about my farts, s***, rectum" thread.