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Did your school ever have a phantom crapper?

some random drunk

Was having a conversation with a mate the other night about our schooldays and oddball characters we went to school with. The subject of "phantom crappers" came up. For those not familiar with the term, a phantom crapper is anyone who gets their jollies from taking a dump somewhere other than a toilet. Now most often this may be some lad thinking its funny to sh*te in a urinal or something like that.

The one in my school took things a little further. Indeed it started off with a mysterious turd turning up in the urinals. A few fellas found it funny and there was some tutting from the teachers but it was forgotten by the end of the day.
About a week later the crapper struck again. This time leaving a deposit on the floor, in front of the sinks. The vice principal questioned a few lads, but no one knew anything.

The third time it happened, it was a little more sinister. One of my classmates came in from playing football at lunch, to find a fresh turd in his shoe. (just to explain this, in my school people would bring runners with them to play football, change into them and leave their school shoes in the classroom). There was also a note, made from letters cut from magazines, which read "I poo in your shoe!" or something similar.

The school held a big investigation. Everyone was questioned. Speeches and threats of punishment were made. Classrooms were locked at lunchtime. But in the end no one was caught and the mystery of the phantom crapper went unsolved.

My friend told me a similar thing happened at his school, but with no notes or anything, someone just fancied taking a crap in the urinals and once in the communal shower area.

So folks as the thread title asks, did you ever experience a phantom crapper in your school? Know any unhinged or intoxicated individuals who pooed somewhere they shouldn't have? Have any theories about why some lads like to do this? Any thoughts?

TL, DR version: some young fella crapped in various places around my school, any similar stories?

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southcentralts

so OP you couldn't take the credit at the time with the looming threat of discipline but now you want your legacy remembered, don't you?

but why the cut out letters - genius - but why ?

sonic85

not a phantom crapper but there was a phantom pi$$er in my class in national school. he did it all over the place - the seat the floor everywhere. there were large puddles of it. id have given anything for a pair of wellies

some random drunk

southcentralts wrote: »

so OP you couldn't take the credit at the time with the looming threat of discipline but now you want your legacy remembered, don't you?

but why the cut out letters - genius - but why ?

Nah, it wasn't me. Was pretty hard to keep a straight face though when the teachers were making accusations and speeches about poo in front of a group of teenage boys

. There was a theory that it had just been a stray dog that wandered in, so maybe that's why the crapper made the serial killer style letter. Either way it brought a creepy yet, humorous vibe to his crimes.

I'm genuinely surprised at the number of replies saying a similar thing happened at their school/workplace. I was expecting to read posts along the lines of "No, WTF are you talking about OP?" . Seems theres a lot of weirdos out there.

timewilltell

I've been teaching 3rd Class recently and for some reason the boys toilets always have pee on the floor. Always. This is about the fourt class of boys I've seen it happen.

delad

Didn't flutterinbantam say he used to splatter "ripe scutter" against the walls of toilets in fast food outlets, whenever he had been wronged by the person at the till in some way. Its a valid form of protest if you ask me.

Ostrom

I believe it was a '...hawser of midden'.

Ape X

susita06 wrote: »

Not in school but every few weeks we find a pile of s*** in theres of the ladies toilets in work :-/ people are crazy :-o

We had one in work a few years back also. Sick fecker. They struck on three occasions I believe, each time making their deposit in the middle of the ladies room. What annoyed me most about it, was that several people had their wrists slapped for leaving cups in the smoking area, but the crimes of the phantom crapper were swept under the carpet.

So to speak.

c_man

some random drunk wrote: »

I'm genuinely surprised at the number of replies saying a similar thing happened at their school/workplace. I was expecting to read posts along the lines of "No, WTF are you talking about OP?" . Seems theres a lot of weirdos out there.

We had a phantom sh!tter in secondary school and college. Heard of more about.

fuerte1976

Ah yes... Fado, Fado..

We had a hero in our school who shat in the corridors. A turd just sitting there in the middle of the hall. Never caught and it went on regular for 2 years +.

In a related story, in the 'big jacks' someone (could have been the same phantom ****ter) smeared the 10 foot x 2 foot mirror in his/her skutter. The hum down the corridor was horiffic :eek: Seeing the artists work didn't match the whiff ...

oppenheimer1

Such behaviour is known among burglars as well, its all psychological.

http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/1498102?uid=2129&uid=2&uid=70&uid=4&sid=47699030001927

darragh16

The worst were the ones who wipe their arse with their hand the wipe it on the wall... Jesus what an awful school it really was

fuerte1976

what a crock of $hit !!:D

leaveiton

Opened up a sanitary bin one day in my (all-girls) school, only to find a big shít on the little part where you place your stuff before it drops down into the bin. Really baffled me because there was no way it could have been shat directly into, they must have done it elsewhere and then placed it there. Either way, it was disgusting.

dodderangler

South park mystery of the urinal deuce
Comedy central right now

branbee

We had a different type of crapper at our school. Every single Wednesday at lunch time a man would walk in the field beside our school and would then take a crap at the railings right in front of us! The teacher was never in the class at lunch time and wouldn't believe us when we told her regardless of the fact it happened at the same time every week she never bothered actually checking that some freak was ****ting in front of 30 ten year olds! Of course everyone found it hilarious at the time! Highlight of the week it was!

kumate_champ07

phantom crapper in my school ended up joining the army

uch

Some fuker broke into my Primary school and shat on the teachers desk, a big steamer to add

LH Pathe

Gosh, no our standards were a little higher. n more vigilant, for unbeknownst to em phantom crapper watchers rendered em merely crappers.

uch

LH Pathe wrote: »

Gosh, no our standards were a little higher. n more vigilant, for unbeknownst to em phantom crapper watchers rendered em merely crappers.

What does that mean?

juan.kerr

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

Such behaviour is known among burglars as well, its all psychological.

http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/1498102?uid=2129&uid=2&uid=70&uid=4&sid=47699030001927

psychological or scatalogical?

It's threads like this that keep me coming back to boards.ie

Gaunty

uch wrote: »

What does that mean?

Means the person didn't know it was happening.

Doc

There was a phantom dumper in my school who even wrote in ****e on the walls once. One time when he was active one of the urinals broke and was taken away. Someone wrote on the wall where it had been

“This urinal was taken as evidence against the phantom dumper.” .

The principle did the whole “We know who it is lads just admit it and you won’t be punished as badly.” . Never heard of anyone getting caught for it.

Temptamperu

Twas I who defecated in all of the urinals and I would do it again!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

bullets

We had a Phantom Crapper in work a few years back sort of.
They would use the Toilet so not sure if it counts or not.

In the Male Toilets someone used to unwrap all the toilet roll and completely
fill the bottom of the toilet and they would take a dumb on top of it.
It would be a turd lying on top of a mountain of dry toilet paper without
any sign of the culprit wiping their arse afterwards and no sign's of the toilet being flushed.

It happened over and over again, management were informed, emails were sent out politely worded and at one point they were considering placing
camera's in the hallway outside the loo's and we were asked to make note of
the time and date if we saw such goings on.

We also has someone who kept blocking the Urinals with chewing gum.
At first it was thought someone was just spitting their gum out into it,
but after emails were sent out it started happening more.

~B

leviathon

Ah yes - Mr Whippy our phantom crapper was known as at our school due to the enormous curly soft-icecream type ones he left snaking their way around the bowl. One time he even topped it off by sticking a capri-sun straw into the top of it, cocktail-umbrella style.

thinking back it's weird alright, but almost as weird is the fact we all found it utterly hilarious and all piled into the jacks to have a look.

juan.kerr

Not quite phantom crapper, but I had the worst case of projectile trots that I can remember, the jacks looked like a bag of ****e had exploded.

The big problem was it was my hotel room bathroom, so there wouldn't have been much investigation required to determine the culprit. as such I had no choice but to clean it up...

[Deleted User]

There was one in the University of Limerick a few years back and this man had some sort of super power. The only way I could describe it its as if he would go into the mens jacks and open the cubicle door so the door was up against the inside of the wall within the cubicle. He then must have bent over infront of the cubicle, while outside the cubicle itself and then exploded.
I mean it got everywhere, all over the front door of the cubicle, the whole bowl, cistern, handle and the wall over the toilet includeing the adjacent inside walls of the cubicle.

It was disghusting but impressive nonetheless.

ItAintMeBabe

My school had a phantom Creeper...Father Mac was a divil :rolleyes:

Jesus Wept

fuerte1976 wrote: »

Ah yes... Fado, Fado..

We had a hero in our school who shat in the corridors. A turd just sitting there in the middle of the hall. Never caught and it went on regular for 2 years +.

In a related story, in the 'big jacks' someone (could have been the same phantom ****ter) smeared the 10 foot x 2 foot mirror in his/her skutter. The hum down the corridor was horiffic :eek: Seeing the artists work didn't match the whiff ...

Maybe he didn't crap in the hall but transported the crap?

Dr. Jonathan Crane

We sure did. Only a select few knew his identity, myself included..