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How to gain respect from your GF/Wife

Jhicks

How to gain instant respect off your girlfriend or wife.

First of all, Put an aerosol can inside a condom and fill with 40% vodka and tie at the top. Put this in the freezer to chill for 8 hours (maybe better overnight)

Second, invite your girlfriend to your house along with her parents & all close relatives. Make sure your beer fridge is fully stocked & ply everyone with booze (perhaps even spike it up a little) -apart from your girlfriend, who you tell her that you insist she stays sober. Now come 11pm or thereabouts youre gonna have a load of older family members totally pissed. This is time you put your plan into action.

Call your girlfriend into the same room as everyone else, make sure she is standing in the middle of the room and tell her to wait on the spot while you go to the kitchen. Get the Aerosol Johnny from the freezer and a box of matches. Go back into the living room.

At this point most people (apart from your gf remember!) will be totally whacked. Take your girlfriend by the hips and pull down her pants, then pull her knickers to the side. Take your cock out & along with aerosol can, then spin her around and do what that it is more like than before if ever not that you did accidently.

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humanji

SteoL wrote: »

What's locked?

This thread and possibly the OP.

sgb

First post OP, it can only get better

SteoL

Ghandee wrote: »

Ah I was gonna put a real witty reply to this shiite, but its locked.:mad:

What's locked?

cocoshovel

Wat

Canis Lupus

Oh that last line is comedy gold.

SteoL

Just squeeze her tits instead.

EDIT: just read the OP and huh? WTF are you trying I say I can't make head nor tail of it.

Poor Uncle Tom

You were doing well until the bog reclaimed you.

Pushtrak

Jhicks wrote: »

Take your cock out & along with aerosol can, then spin her around and do what that it is more like than before if ever not that you did accidently.

I think the lesson here is that incoherence is probably not going to help your cause. Thanks, OP.

Senna

That reads like someone forgetting the punchline to a joke, first few lines sets it up, then.........**** i forgot the punchline......just hit keys at random. Job done.

Ghandee

Ah I was gonna put a real witty reply to this shiite, but its locked.:mad:

BunShopVoyeur

Jhicks wrote: »

How to gain instant respect off your girlfriend or wife.

First of all, Put an aerosol can inside a condom and fill with 40% vodka and tie at the top. Put this in the freezer to chill for 8 hours (maybe better overnight)

Second, invite your girlfriend to your house along with her parents & all close relatives. Make sure your beer fridge is fully stocked & ply everyone with booze (perhaps even spike it up a little) -apart from your girlfriend, who you tell her that you insist she stays sober. Now come 11pm or thereabouts youre gonna have a load of older family members totally pissed. This is time you put your plan into action.

Call your girlfriend into the same room as everyone else, make sure she is standing in the middle of the room and tell her to wait on the spot while you go to the kitchen. Get the Aerosol Johnny from the freezer and a box of matches. Go back into the living room.

At this point most people (apart from your gf remember!) will be totally whacked. Take your girlfriend by the hips and pull down her pants, then pull her knickers to the side. Take your cock out & along with aerosol can, then spin her around and do what that it is more like than before if ever not that you did accidently.

What?

You maniac.

Battered Mars Bar

Jhicks wrote: »

do what that it is more like than before if ever not that you did accidently.

I did do what that is that than if that not I did?

hondasam

Jhicks wrote: »

How to gain instant respect off your girlfriend or wife.

First of all, Put an aerosol can inside a condom and fill with 40% vodka and tie at the top. Put this in the freezer to chill for 8 hours (maybe better overnight)

Second, invite your girlfriend to your house along with her parents & all close relatives. Make sure your beer fridge is fully stocked & ply everyone with booze (perhaps even spike it up a little) -apart from your girlfriend, who you tell her that you insist she stays sober. Now come 11pm or thereabouts youre gonna have a load of older family members totally pissed. This is time you put your plan into action.

Call your girlfriend into the same room as everyone else, make sure she is standing in the middle of the room and tell her to wait on the spot while you go to the kitchen. Get the Aerosol Johnny from the freezer and a box of matches. Go back into the living room.

At this point most people (apart from your gf remember!) will be totally whacked. Take your girlfriend by the hips and pull down her pants, then pull her knickers to the side. Take your cock out & along with aerosol can, then spin her around and do what that it is more like than before if ever not that you did accidently.

Can you retype this bit, other than that it's great, can't wait to get the family round for drinks.

mawk

lol wut?

Gummy Panda

What the fúck did I just read?

leggo

You might be waiting for a girlfriend a while yet, OP. But be sure to let us know how it goes by all means!

Logical Fallacy

Jhicks wrote: »

How to gain instant respect off your girlfriend or wife.

First of all, Put an aerosol can inside a condom and fill with 40% vodka and tie at the top. Put this in the freezer to chill for 8 hours (maybe better overnight)

Second, invite your girlfriend to your house along with her parents & all close relatives. Make sure your beer fridge is fully stocked & ply everyone with booze (perhaps even spike it up a little) -apart from your girlfriend, who you tell her that you insist she stays sober. Now come 11pm or thereabouts youre gonna have a load of older family members totally pissed. This is time you put your plan into action.

Call your girlfriend into the same room as everyone else, make sure she is standing in the middle of the room and tell her to wait on the spot while you go to the kitchen. Get the Aerosol Johnny from the freezer and a box of matches. Go back into the living room.

At this point most people (apart from your gf remember!) will be totally whacked. Take your girlfriend by the hips and pull down her pants, then pull her knickers to the side. Take your cock out & along with aerosol can, then spin her around and do what that it is more like than before if ever not that you did accidently.

Never go full retard.

a fat guy

That's how my uncle lost his arm.

Sindri

then spin her around and do what that it is more like than before if ever not that you did accidently.

Will do chief

chin_grin

.............what?!

ballsymchugh

gone are the days of making a good old spice rack..