Breast Feeding in Restaurant

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Diddy there I said it tee hee hee.:p

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Nippletastic tee hee hee;)

You are making a TIT of yourself

(joke)

corktina

wow, i had thought that opinions like the OPs had died out decades ago. This is a truly shocking thread, especially coming from a fellow woman. My Wife breast-fed all 5 of our kids wherever and whenever necessary for as long as they needed it (youngest now 20///he's weaned now of course:D , me?, not so much)

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

Please read through entire thread and you will see that a lot of people feel this way.

I never complained how people reacted, I complained about the abuse and insults I was receiving for having an opinion.

Obviously it's because of the actual opinion itself - "Breastfeeding shouldn't be allowed!" not just because you have an opinion.

In about 6 weeks or so, I am due to give birth. I plan to breastfeed. I also plan to do all the things I need to do, such as go to the post office, or the bank, or eat lunch, or shop. Baby will probably feed every couple of hours - did you know that a newborn babies stomach is the size of a marble? So the little that they drink, digests quickly and then in an hour or two that tiny tummy will be empty again.

Have you ever had hunger pangs, say about 30 mins before your lunch break? Not nice. Why would you expect a mother to ignore that pain in her baby.

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

Exactly, I never once said it was "disgusting" of the mother, but I do think she could have done it elsewhere. Not in a restaurant.

Like where? If you dont position the baby properly, and are comfortably sitting, baby will not latch on properly, feed properly and you cause problems like cracked nipples or mastitis, both very painful, so no, I wont sit in a cramped car where neither myself or baby are comfortable.

Ditto for toilets /changing rooms (eh, toilets for babies?) why should my newborn eat where there are fecal and urine spores hanging around the air for them to inhale? now thats disgusting.

hondasam wrote: »

I suppose what I'm saying is you have to take other peoples views into consideration as well.

I plan to - my childs views that is. That is my primary concern. Not random strangers. They certainly dont consider me - like the woman who pushed me out of the way so she could get on the bus first, or the whole lower deck who were happy to let me stand with my 8 month belly hanging out. So, why the F**k should I consider them?

hondasam wrote: »

I said to give the baby a drink of water in a bottle, babies need drinks sometimes between feeds. I understand not all mothers express milk or carry a bottle with them.

Breastfed babies dont need water. Their thirst and hunger is satisfied by breast milk. The foremilk is thicker, which fills them up, and the hind milk is more watery which sates their thirst.

A baby is far more efficient at extracting milk than a breast pump. You might struggle to get an ounce out a day with a pump, after an hour of pumping. That to me is far too precious to waste, by bringing it out in case of baby needing a feed and for fear of offending people who are easily offended. I plan to freeze so that my partner can defrost and use it when I want to sleep more than 3 consecitive hours.

Dempsey wrote: »

I thought they'd look for a baby changing room or something before they'd resort to breastfeeding in a crowded room.

Not all restaraunts have a separate changing room. Usually there is a changing table in a disabled toilet. (which you cant as an able bodied person hog for 40 mins or more to feed a child when a disabled person might need it) toilets are manky, not feeding the little one there. Even if the restaurant has a separate changing room, there are usually discarded nappies and rarely a chair to sit on. You need to sit to comfortably feed baby.

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

I would have thought feeding the child in a side-room or using a bottle with expressed milk from earlier or feeding the baby before dinner or not going to a restaurant with a baby that was likely to need feeding were also alternatives?

My position is that it´s unnecessary to breastfeed in public, it´s not something I would ever do, I would be uncomfortable seeing others doing so, but women have the right to do so

You cant feed a child earlier. Like I said, tummy is the size of a marble. You need to feed the baby when they are hungry. Babies can have growth spurts when they need to feed every hour. They do this and the mothers body responds by producing more milk, which in turn the baby needs with an ever increasing appetitie.

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

As another poster said it's not life or death "I must breast feed my baby now in this restaurant!" - you can plan.

So I can plan eh? please, let me know how to plan to avoid offending the likes of you. I'm serious.

You tell me how to "plan" my day doing the things I need to do like grocery shopping, paying bills, bringing baby for his/her checkups, without breastfeeding in public - and without having to spend hours expressing minute drops of milk that have to go into a bottle and hang around unrefrigerated for an hour or two and is on the verge of going off before baby needs it. (oh and I'm not going to bring my newborn with barely an immune system into a public toilet either)

Please, enlighten me. I'm really interested to hear all the alternatives I apparently have.

Heckler wrote: »

Breastfeeding kids is as natural as breathing and to be welcomed. That said I can't stand kids. Especially babies. And especially the smug, i'm so special, i'm a new mother type. Breaking news Hon, you're not the only person in the world to have popped one out. Get over it. Enjoy your child but don't bore the rest of us to death with their sleeping/****ting/burping habits. Thanks......

You can't stand kids? What about nieces/nephews?

Cheeky_gal

Dudess wrote: »

For sure, but you don't have any business telling a parent how they should deal with a specific scenario when you have no experience of it yourself.

I guess there should just be a specific place designed where breast feeding mothers can go then everyone would be happy.

As I posted in a retail thread before... Some parents allow their kids to come into my shop and tear the place apart while they stand chatting on the phone or whatever, totally oblivious to their kids turning the place upside down. Then they'll walk out without apologising for the mess their children left which I then have to clean up. Not all parents are right like, but I guess that's for another days discussion

LETHAL LADY

hondasam wrote: »

You are making a TIT of yourself (joke)

Nell McCafferty would be proud of me. Should I cover up so as not to offend the prudish catholic embarrasement.;)

2 stroke

hondasam wrote: »

Who are the two ladies? You would be aroused if you seen a woman breastfeeding, what age are you 12 ?

I've always presumed you and cheeky gal were female, & even thinking about breasts gets me aroused.

Neyite wrote: »

Please, enlighten me. I'm really interested to hear all the alternatives I apparently have.

Congrats hope everything goes well for you and baby.
You seem to have everything covered nothing I could add really.

2 stroke wrote: »

I've always presumed you and cheeky gal were female, & even thinking about breasts gets me aroused.

I am female, I have not said the woman was wrong.

The people who take issue with it obviously don't bother to consider what it's like for the mother - no doubt she doesn't exactly relish it herself (especially with such attitudes out there) but it's a necessity - not a conspiracy to make people uncomfortable. She's a bit busy and addled to be figuring out how she can get attention and piss others off. And if you think it's for attention, then don't give it to her.

cruiser178

Op if you go to any night club or anywhere, where people get dressed up to go out and enjoy themselves I can assure you, you will see more cleavage/tit then any mother has on display breast feeding their child. Why you would call a mother feeding her child ignorant is beyond me.

Dudess wrote: »

The people who take issue with it obviously don't bother to consider what it's like for the mother - no doubt she doesn't exactly relish it herself (especially with such attitudes out there) but it's a necessity - not a conspiracy to make people uncomfortable. She's a bit busy and addled to be figuring out how she can get attention and piss others off. And if you think it's for attention, then don't give it to her.

I know plenty of mothers who breastfeed and to them it's just natural, they just don't think about it. I know if they thought others were uncomfortable with it they would go somewhere private.
They would never make it obvious in a restaurant not because it would bother them but in case it would bother the other people there.

vodkababy

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

I guess there should just be a specific place designed where breast feeding mothers can go then everyone would be happy.

As I posted in a retail thread before... Some parents allow their kids to come into my shop and tear the place apart while they stand chatting on the phone or whatever, totally oblivious to their kids turning the place upside down. Then they'll walk out without apologising for the mess their children left which I then have to clean up. Not all parents are right like, but I guess that's for another days discussion

What shop do you work in? We could all come and show you how discreet we are at feeding and how natural it is.

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

I guess there should just be a specific place designed where breast feeding mothers can go then everyone would be happy.

As I posted in a retail thread before... Some parents allow their kids to come into my shop and tear the place apart while they stand chatting on the phone or whatever, totally oblivious to their kids turning the place upside down. Then they'll walk out without apologising for the mess their children left which I then have to clean up. Not all parents are right like, but I guess that's for another days discussion

Yeah there are some people who seem to think having kids gives them a ridiculous sense of entitlement but then there are people who seem to think a babysitter is always available no matter what, that small children don't cry (it's a fact of life - they do, no matter how disciplinarian their parents are) and that people with kids should never venture in public with them - that they should stay at home all the time.

hondasam wrote: »

They would never make it obvious in a restaurant not because it would bother them but in case it would bother the other people there.

That's how nearly all mothers breastfeed in public - discreetly - but there will still be people who take issue with that alone.
And it's fair enough that they should be subtle about it, but I definitely don't think they should feel obliged to go somewhere else - just for the sake of people whose imaginations are running wild. I'd understand mothers doing so for the sake of a quiet life, but the problem isn't theirs, it's the objectors' problem.

Dudess wrote: »

Yeah there are some people who seem to think having kids gives them a ridiculous sense of entitlement but then there are people who seem to think a babysitter is always available no matter what, that small children don't cry (it's a fact of life - they do, no matter how disciplinarian their parents are) and that people with kids should never venture in public with them - that they should stay at home all the time.

When we were growing up, you behaved yourself in public - you got The Look. from one of the folks and knew that you were in for it when you got home. I have worked in shops and restaruants since my teens and there is no way in hell that I would let a child run around causing health and safety issues for staff or be loud and disturb other patrons.

A baby though, you cant reason with - you have a choice - expose your breast briefly, latch them on, feed them and shut them up, or ignore their hunger and have them scream their head off getting louder and louder thus disturbing other people. Then baby is just too wound up to pay attention to the breast, increasing the possible exposure of your boob.

Dempsey

Neyite wrote: »

Not all restaraunts have a separate changing room. Usually there is a changing table in a disabled toilet. (which you cant as an able bodied person hog for 40 mins or more to feed a child when a disabled person might need it) toilets are manky, not feeding the little one there. Even if the restaurant has a separate changing room, there are usually discarded nappies and rarely a chair to sit on. You need to sit to comfortably feed baby.

All that isnt lost on me, all I think is that its surprising that a mother would breastfeed in public. I just think most like to avoid the situation and alot of it is because of the reasons you say. Am I wrong? I certainly dont have the issues that the OP has.

namloc1980

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

I guess there should just be a specific place designed where breast feeding mothers can go then everyone would be happy.

Ah you mean hide them away so people like you don't get upset and offended. Your attitude stinks, but thankfully most people are a bit more enlightened these days.

Dempsey wrote: »

All that isnt lost on me, all I think is that its surprising that a mother would breastfeed in public. I just think most like to avoid the situation and alot of it is because of the reasons you say. Am I wrong? I certainly dont have the issues that the OP has.

It's not always a choice though. Say for instance I need to get baby vaccinated, then pick up some groceries, go to the post office and pop into the chemist.

My bus journey into town is 30 mins. A 20 min walk to the doctors, then a wait of say another 20 mins. Then its at least 15 mins in the post office queue, and the chemist is 5 mins. Thats an hour and a half, and I fed baby before I left home. I know that baby will probably want another feed in about 30 mins, so what do I do? I dont have time to get the groceries and get baby home in time so I do the next best thing. I pop into a coffee shop to sit down and have a cuppa while baby has a quick feed, then I'm off again to finish what I need to do in town before getting the bus back home.

My sister breasfed - She had a muslin over her shoulder and it kind of covered her breast and baby. She also tried to get a corner table if she could. I'm going to try and do the same.

Its hassle feeding when out, but compare that to making up bottles of formula - washing bottles, sterlising bottles, separate kettle (can only boil the once) lose count of formula scoops (cos yer knackered!) , refrigerate, then heat up in a teapot. Then a breastfed baby does not recognise the bottle teat - not used to it so is confused and rejects it. then cries. I'd just pull aside my top a little and latch baby on - far less hassle in the long run.

Carsinian Thau

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

I guess there should just be a specific place designed where breast feeding mothers can go then everyone would be happy.

Well, not necessarily. If it was a courtesy area provided for non mandatory use and was just there to be used if they should so choose then fine. But .... people.... such as yourself would still have issues with them if they chose not to use it (and let's face it, they don't need to unless they feel uncomfortable) so not everyone would be happy.

Heckler

Dudess wrote: »

It's extremely relevant - you can't tell someone how scenarios pan out when you don't have any knowledge of them. I know that card can be pulled by smug parents when it's not warranted, but it is warranted here. Never said it means having issues - I don't always agree with people who say that about this issue, and if it makes someone uncomfortable, fair enough, they can't control that. But they just have to put up and not look, because the woman can do it if she needs to - nobody has a right to stop her. And you and others can say she shouldn't do it and that it's rude all you like, but that's an unreasonable thing to say - therefore people will contest it.

Rubbish. To invalidate someones opinion and perspective on kids because they don't have their own is ridiculous. I realise children are a highly emotive issue but if everyone who has an opinion on something has to have been in that particular situation to have a valid opinion well............

I can't possibly comment on china or japans stance on capital punishment because i've never been on death row in those countries......

Rinse and repeat for a shedload of arguments.

Heckler

Dudess wrote: »

You can't stand kids? What about nieces/nephews?

Have 3 nieces and 2 nephews. Love them to bits. Because I can give them back.

willmunny1990

I was in a church in Co. Cavan and saw a woman breast feeding her child while the service was going on.

So you don't hate kids. :pac:

Heckler wrote: »

Rubbish. To invalidate someones opinion and perspective on kids because they don't have their own is ridiculous. I realise children are a highly emotive issue but if everyone who has an opinion on something has to have been in that particular situation to have a valid opinion well............

I can't possibly comment on china or japans stance on capital punishment because i've never been on death row in those countries......

Rinse and repeat for a shedload of arguments.

It's accepted that people who aren't an authority on something don't have much business lecturing people re it - except when it comes to parenting it seems.
I acknowledged there are some parents who rudely pull that card when it's not warranted didn't I?

Yes, a person should be allowed express a view on children and parenting even if they don't have kids or aren't childcare professionals - however, within limits. They can't expect to be taken seriously if they tell parents what they can and can't do when it comes to a scenario with which they have no familiarity. I don't have children, therefore I'd have a cheek telling a woman she can plan ahead enough to rule out breastfeeding. That is totally taking liberties. Yes non parents should be able to have a say, but for some stuff, parents should be allowed tell them they aren't in a position to lecture/instruct - it's a two-way street.

haminka

The baby was eating, others were eating, each of them the food they like and need, what's the story. Most Bf mums show less boob than a girl on a night out. I don't know of any restaurants with dedicated amenities for baby feeding and a changing room, usually with a toilet nearby isn't the best option. Would you eat your lunch at a toilet? Most people wouldn't so why should their babies? It's really funny that some women would dress for eating out in the most revealing clothes so that their assets are on display for all and sundry but show them a breastfeeding mother and they are disgusted.

willmunny1990 wrote: »

I was in a church in Co. Cavan and saw a woman breast feeding her child while the service was going on.

She didn't want to miss part of the service and didn't want her baby screaming with hunger while it was taking place I guess.

haminka

Dempsey wrote: »

All that isnt lost on me, all I think is that its surprising that a mother would breastfeed in public. I just think most like to avoid the situation and alot of it is because of the reasons you say. Am I wrong? I certainly dont have the issues that the OP has.

You can't avoid it or plan your little baby's feeds - it will feed when it's hungry and if you don't feed, the baby will definitely let you know. I was BFing and my daughter point blank refused the bottle so expressed milk wasn't an option. And I see no reason why BF mothers should be treated like pariahs by the public. You don't see people demonstrating in Easons because they have erotic/porno magazines on display with very graphic first pages, nor do I see people boycotting tabloids with "celebs" flashing their breasts to attract attention, yet a BF mother becomes a very easy target for public criticism even if she does it discreetly.