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Dating over 40

JuliusCaesar

and not over 40 people at the same time...although...

Anyway. Anyone dating? What's it like? Am considering online dating but going by a thread in another forum (youngsters! bah!) it may be full of hidden snags and codes. Advice?

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OldGoat

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

Had a look at that LiarsCheatsBastards link - have never met any of the Irish ones! Phew!

I had a look at that site too. I'm torn as to leaving it or not.
My PERSONAL feeling is that it's the lowest kind of trash, feeding on the insecurities of people and slandering people on hearsay. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth. It's The Sun and the Mirror and The Star all rolled into one horrendous RedTop.
My Mod self is leaving it till I get feedback from the community +/- in thread or via Reports.

Galen

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

Anyway, Galen, living in a major population centre I have an advantage. What I would say to you is be prepared to travel. I've no objection to crossing at least half the country because otherwise I'd have little to no choice as the dating pool is so small. I think I'll leave the actual single sites and go and join some clubs/meet ups and go and do some interesting things. It's bound to be more fun (well, if they aren't entirely female!) than everyone sizing each other up!

Had a look at that LiarsCheatsBastards link - have never met any of the Irish ones! Phew!

I'll be staying inside Mayo for now with the continuing rise of the price of petrol unless there is some interesting events in Galway or Sligo - there must be some interesting clubs in Mayo I'll just have keep looking. And while I'm waiting for GMIT to call me, I'll see if I can find an interesting night-class which wouldn't hurt my social life either.

As for LiarsCheatsBastards link I suspect that's only the tip of the iceberg. Isn't there sites devoted to people who behave like that - Fling for instance?

stargazer 68

maybebabygina wrote: »

it makes sense to be cautious

http://www.liarscheatsandbastards.com/main.php5?action=lcb_det&id=1305

Sorry but that site is hilarious! Sour grapes etc. Some of it may be true but its one persons word against another!

Galen

Dovies wrote: »

Sorry but that site is hilarious! Sour grapes etc. Some of it may be true but its one persons word against another!

To be honest I'm always suspicious of sites like that but it was probably why my mom used to call 'doubting Thomas'

[Deleted User]

As I married someone I met on dating site I am do think they are a good thing, I have answered lots of threads about dating site they come up on now and then, Its the one of the topics where people get very offended and defensive with some of the replays. A lot of meeting someone and hitting it off on a dating site is pure luck and some what random.

In my opinion it seems to work best for those under 30 and over 55 and the reason for this is because the younger are still young enough to have a lot of options open to them and the oldies are old to enough to not give a dame what anyone think anymore and the oldies tend to have life sorted out children grown up etc.

what happened for the rest is that you get the last chance for children colliding with the recently broke up from a long term marriage and a lot of other things in the mix as well, human nature being what it is people don't want hassle plus love and why we are atractted to someone is a mystery.

Galen

As far I'm concerned the main Irish pay site is rubbish, nothing but once off contacts in and out - I've closed that account. I having a little more success on a international free site. I've met a nice woman from Galway on there, nothing might come out of it but at least I've made a friend.

paulaa

Hi everyone, I was just wondering if there are many people in their 50s here ?
Also how do people from the country fare on these dating sites as many of those I've looked at are mostly from Dublin ?

foxinsox

Hi all,

I'm also eligible for posting in here..

I've dived into the online dating thingy in the past few weeks and so far it's a lot of work.

Especially that anotherfriend one, because I won't pay it takes ages for mail to actually arrive... chatting to a few but no dates planned as yet.

So far I seem to be having more fun reading about people online dating, the thread in TGC and also in here.

Will post gory details of dates if and when any happen

rebelwoman

Hi Paulaa I would think it would depend on what part of the country you are from. Seems to be plenty on pof from the rebel county but I have read other posts where there appears to be a lack of people.

paulaa

rebelwoman wrote: »

Hi Paulaa I would think it would depend on what part of the country you are from. Seems to be plenty on pof from the rebel county but I have read other posts where there appears to be a lack of people.

Hi rebelwoman, thanks for the reply. I'm in Wexford. It must be something about Wexford men but those I have seen in their 50s are looking for 30 to 40 year olds

What is POF ?

rebelwoman

Its a free online dating website - Plenty of Fish. Good luck with it if you are thinking of trying it out.

paulaa

Thanks, I haven't seen that one. I only started looking at those sites recently. So far I haven't had the courage to put up a profile

Galen

I found AnotherFriend downright frustrating (closed my account today) but I'm having a better time on POF but I do think it is harder because I live in the country. Be careful what you call yourself, I was using my birth year (69) in mine until I was reminded that it sounded like a sexual position :-)

rebelwoman

Paulaa if you dont want to post a pic you dont have to. You can choose to keep your images hidden until you want to send them to somebody - on POF that is. I dont know about the other sites.

paulaa

Galen wrote: »

I found AnotherFriend downright frustrating (closed my account today) but I'm having a better time on POF but I do think it is harder because I live in the country. Be careful what you call yourself, I was using my birth year (69) in mine until I was reminded that it sounded like a sexual position :-)

LOL A friend was on some of these sites and was put off by the group message, sorry I can't remember what it's called. It's where you can send a message to several hundred people at a time. She thought it was too impersonal

paulaa

rebelwoman wrote: »

Paulaa if you dont want to post a pic you dont have to. You can choose to keep your images hidden until you want to send them to somebody - on POF that is. I dont know about the other sites.

That's good to know thanks.

annascott

Be careful . An ex colleague of mine took early retirement at the age of 50 and registered with a couple of dating sites. She has met four men so far. Three were much older than they said they were and she could hardly recognise them from their photographs. One of them even turned out to be married! The other one seemed nice at first but turned out to be a bit weird and obsessive.
It is very risky. I would never do it. The best way to meet someone is through mutual friends or colleagues. At least there is a bit of a link and they are less likely to either be secretly married or weirdos...

Galen

annascott wrote: »

Be careful . An ex colleague of mine took early retirement at the age of 50 and registered with a couple of dating sites. She has met four men so far. Three were much older than they said they were and she could hardly recognise them from their photographs. One of them even turned out to be married! The other one seemed nice at first but turned out to be a bit weird and obsessive.
It is very risky. I would never do it. The best way to meet someone is through mutual friends or colleagues. At least there is a bit of a link and they are less likely to either be secretly married or weirdos...

If life was fair we would go looking to our friends and colleagues to set us up instead of having to travel half way across the country to meet someone. Sure I'm a guy but the last place I want to be is on a dating site. It's all double standards; guys have to put photos while women don't. Women have my full sympathy but it isn't fair on us genuine guys either.

annascott

Galen wrote: »

If life was fair we would go looking to our friends and colleagues to set us up instead of having to travel half way across the country to meet someone. Sure I'm a guy but the last place I want to be is on a dating site. It's all double standards; guys have to put photos while women don't. Women have my full sympathy but it isn't fair on us genuine guys either.

Sorry, didn't mean to sound as if only men were the deceitful ones, I am sure women lie too!

Galen

annascott wrote: »

Sorry, didn't mean to sound as if only men were the deceitful ones, I am sure women lie too!

Hi Annascott, you're forgiven. I'm sorry too for having a rant but it still sucks.

JuliusCaesar

Galen wrote: »

guys have to put photos while women don't.

What makes you think that? A few of the guys I emailled didn't have their photos on public view. But neither did I. Some asked me to email my photo, and then I never heard from them again. (I'm not THAT ugly!

) Some emailled me their photo privately. Whenever we met up, I usually just had a description/phone number, and they had mine. Something that would help us recognise each other in a public place, without having to go up to random people asking "Are you Iveabigwon?"

I'm joking, they'd usually have given me their first name, although asking "are you John?" of random strangers is likely to get an affirmative even if they weren't the dating-site John.

Anyone who didn't have their photo up, generally had a fairly good reason for it.

I'm back at it again, but find that men are really chicken when it comes to meeting up. What's the point going on these sites if you don't want to meet up in real life? Are they all married? It's not like we're teenagers.

0lddog

I cant figure out how you lot have such energy

Perhaps its time to change the title of this thread to

"Dating over 40..... to XX"

Galen

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

What makes you think that? A few of the guys I emailled didn't have their photos on public view. But neither did I. Some asked me to email my photo, and then I never heard from them again. (I'm not THAT ugly! ) Some emailled me their photo privately. Whenever we met up, I usually just had a description/phone number, and they had mine. Something that would help us recognise each other in a public place, without having to go up to random people asking "Are you Iveabigwon?"

I'm joking, they'd usually have given me their first name, although asking "are you John?" of random strangers is likely to get an affirmative even if they weren't the dating-site John.

Anyone who didn't have their photo up, generally had a fairly good reason for it.

I'm back at it again, but find that men are really chicken when it comes to meeting up. What's the point going on these sites if you don't want to meet up in real life? Are they all married? It's not like we're teenagers.

Hi JC, Just one of my rants.
I contact women whether they have photos up or not but it's always with the same result. Yesterday I contacted five women; two with pics 3 without, they all took one look at my profile and ran. Granted I'm no oil painting but it sure does no favours for one's ego :-D I've done a fairly good job on my profile but they see me or that I'm a mature student and I don't see them for the dust lol

JuliusCaesar

Galen wrote: »

it's always with the same result. Yesterday I contacted five women; two with pics 3 without, they all took one look at my profile and ran.... it sure does no favours for one's ego :-D

Yes, well, I send out 5 messages, 3 look at my profile and I get zero replies. It's not good for anyone's ego! That's why I took a break from it. Just look at the The Gentleman's Club thread - everyone has the same problem.

Except the younger people seem to have less problems meeting up in person. I still don't understand this - why would you put yourself up on a dating site, if you've no intention of meeting up in person?

Galen

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

Yes, well, I send out 5 messages, 3 look at my profile and I get zero replies. It's not good for anyone's ego! That's why I took a break from it. Just look at the The Gentleman's Club thread - everyone has the same problem.

Except the younger people seem to have less problems meeting up in person. I still don't understand this - why would you put yourself up on a dating site, if you've no intention of meeting up in person?

Technically I did someone on POF but she's a friend because she's already met someone but her experience is that a lot are there just for sex well if that's the case I wish they'd feck off to sites devoted to that kind of people.

rebelwoman

What I dont understand is the amount of men who will chat to you for hours and then thats it. The next time you go online you are completely blanked. Fine if they get fed up after the first few messages but to spend the night chatting and then nothing after that??? What is that all about?

Galen

rebelwoman wrote: »

What I dont understand is the amount of men who will chat to you for hours and then thats it. The next time you go online you are completely blanked. Fine if they get fed up after the first few messages but to spend the night chatting and then nothing after that??? What is that all about?

It goes both ways - I've gotten the same treatment from women - I just can't make heads or tails of it.

rebelwoman

Thanks Galen you were supposed to come up with some brilliant idea as to why men do that!!:) There really needs to be some etiquette guidelines for people on these sites.
1. Dont keep messaging if you not interested. If you are not interested then have the decency to say so.

Galen

rebelwoman wrote: »

Thanks Galen you were supposed to come up with some brilliant idea as to why men do that!!:) There really needs to be some etiquette guidelines for people on these sites.
1. Dont keep messaging if you not interested. If you are not interested then have the decency to say so.

sorry rebelwoman, I can't read other mens' minds no more than I can read womens' minds. I had hoped that those men and women on those sites were raised to treat people with the same decency that my mother and your mother raised us with :-D

You know the saying 'misery loves company' well that's why I responded to you frustration because I'm equally frustrated with these peoples attitudes - all I can say is good luck.

rebelwoman

Thanks Galen our mothers will be delighted with your comment

. Ive actually taken a break from it as it seemed fine to begin with but the last few weeks have just been one head wrecker after the other. Might go back to it again but not missing it one bit. Best of luck with your search