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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Jaafa

I saw my fair share of these before I deactivated my account.

One of the worst came from an american 'friend'(?) of mine.

She said and I quote:
"Ughhh so stupid...I have to get a visa to go to south america! I mean seriously isn't this the UNITED sates! Ahhhhh....Worst state ever!"

She was promptly removed from my friends list.

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internet of cats

hope ur ok hun

mail xoxo

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XxMCRxBabyxX

Dean09 wrote: »

Why the fúck do people try to talk to the dead on Facebook??!!
Ok I know it's sad someone you know died, but every day there's a new post saying "Missing you today" or "Hope you're ok up there" or something stupid.
It's so fukn irritating. I'm pretty sure the dead aren't spending all day on Facebook so you're just clogging up the news feed with shíte talk to someone who's not gonna answer you.

And people making death and anniversary announcements. Facebook is not the place for that

GreenWolfe

merengueca wrote: »

This is just a snapshot from her. I just think these boys are going to have one or two issues growing up.....(The kids are called Kai and Lex-Thien!!!! FFS)
Do it just fine to show us single mothers . ... Kais headmaster said kai is his star pupil .And if he carries on he is goin right to the top . Mothers doin it for themselves oh yeh that's how this mother rolls !

<H6 class=uiStreamMessage data-ft='{"type":1}'>HAPPY 12TH BIRTHDAY TO THE BESTEST BIG SON KAI,KAI..... love you... my son my best friend ... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

<H6 class=uiStreamMessage data-ft='{"type":1}'>lexi asleep wow before 8 cani believe now just gota get kai away from his I mac to come watch a film with me again , can't get him away from it !

<H6 class=uiStreamMessage data-ft='{"type":1}'>Get ma lex into bed an me an ma big son r goin to watch a film snuggled in his bed ! With a hot hot vimto :eek:he's 12!!!!

<H6 class=uiStreamMessage data-ft='{"type":1}'>my kai kai is soooo good just gets up gets himself ready and off he goes to north ces , even offered him the day off bcos he wasn't feelin 100 % but no he said I want to go to school . Feels so good knowing ur kids actually want to go and learn . And do well at school . Ya on the right path son ! And who says single parents can't bring up our kids properly ? Single parents rock !

</H6>

</H6>

</H6>

</H6>

According to Wikipedia, Kai (pronounced Keye, apparently) is a real name. He's fecked as soon as he watches Star Trek: DS9 though.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kai_%28name%29

In Northern Ireland, data indicated that "Kai" experienced a significant rise in popularity as a male give name from 2002 to 2003. It has become popular in the UK, with many children born in the mid to late 1990s given the name. While it is typically a male given name, in recent years it has become popular among females as well. [3]

Gunslinger92

This isn't someone I'm friends with, but she is friends with a friend of mine. Came up on my news feed that Friend commented on Stranger's status for some reason. I can see the status and all the comments.

"yu dirty prostitute yu c the picture of ureself on facebook yu are scandilised to death yu aids infested tramp ....... yu may aswell go know cause il hit yu a wrap and then yu can scandalise yurself again yu red rotten yoke !!!!!"

I will now post the best (or worst) comments

Ru sicka jemma awredy hahah

its nawt jemma lol shes good tonite

yeah savana hun

You tell um doll lol xxx

Haha claim the nerves hu u on bot..haha xxxx

Ino tell me abot it doll ders a gud few prostatutes an dis ting... Dey shud be ashamed ov demselfs da way dey get an xxx

a smell on this thinking shes the dude she reported me anal cause i told her she was a dirty yoke haaaaaa xxxxxxx

Dear lord

leggo

In fairness to that girl, I do often report anal when I see it on Facebook. There's a time and place and all...

Gandalph

People who link sh1te songs all day long piss me off

[Deleted User]

People who say they are bored like 5 times a day !!! Well get off facebook and do something ergh!!!

Brain Stroking

The sad thing is that facebook makes me realise that these complete douchebags have always been around. Facebook just provides them a means to get into my living room.
I deleted 70 friends last week. Made no announcements as such are just a cry for help which means i'm just like the retards i was deleting. Some of them wont be happy. If they ask me why i'm afraid i'll have to tell them the truth

lamai

Brain Stroking wrote: »

The sad thing is that facebook makes me realise that these complete douchebags have always been around. Facebook just provides them a means to get into my living room.
I deleted 70 friends last week. Made no announcements as such are just a cry for help which means i'm just like the retards i was deleting. Some of them wont be happy. If they ask me why i'm afraid i'll have to tell them the truth

There's your problem no one has 70 friends, only add the people who are actually your friends

Brain Stroking

lamai wrote: »

There's your problem no one has 70 friends, only add the people who are actually your friends

I do actually. In my time on this earth i've enjoyed the company of a lot of people many of whom i added/accepted requests on facebook.
The problem is that i am from a small town where everyone is friends with everyone on facebook. Where i come from it is seen as almost odd not to accept those you were in school with/see out at xmas etc. I was home at xmas and saw the complete folly of this. So i started deleting

Fluorescence

Gunslinger92 wrote: »

This isn't someone I'm friends with, but she is friends with a friend of mine. Came up on my news feed that Friend commented on Stranger's status for some reason. I can see the status and all the comments.

"yu dirty prostitute yu c the picture of ureself on facebook yu are scandilised to death yu aids infested tramp ....... yu may aswell go know cause il hit yu a wrap and then yu can scandalise yurself again yu red rotten yoke !!!!!"

I will now post the best (or worst) comments

Ru sicka jemma awredy hahah

its nawt jemma lol shes good tonite yeah savana hun

You tell um doll lol xxx

Haha claim the nerves hu u on bot..haha xxxx

Ino tell me abot it doll ders a gud few prostatutes an dis ting... Dey shud be ashamed ov demselfs da way dey get an xxx

a smell on this thinking shes the dude she reported me anal cause i told her she was a dirty yoke haaaaaa xxxxxxx

Dear lord

Wtf is this shit?! Is that even English :eek:

SteelyDanJalapeno

how long does it f*cking take to type 6 characters "and all", instead of "anal" gets me everytime

flamboosh

I don't even know.

mfceiling

A post follows from a neighbour from home who i think is illiterate....possibly mental - as she posts up lists of medication she takes...however this classic came today (note how she begins with hi - like she's talking to just one person.....

hi me and granny took jake to adventure world he loved it esp the bob the builder ride and we cars. Then we went to top to toe and he got his first hair cut he sat brillant wee darling. photos to follow later. Hope its dry tom for the builders nite.

falan

24 January at 23:39 ·

Scum 1, female....
Hahah Your Gettin A Baten

xxx

Scum 2,male.... Swear off hu u haha
:)Xxx

Scum 1...... Yeaah Me Haha xxx

Scum 2.... Ha ha ha u ar varey foney u ar a foll i sware in me mums life tb u foll

I was just having a nose through friends of friends pages and the girl had written this gem on the guys page.

missbelle

falan wrote: »

24 January at 23:39 ·

Scum 1, female....
Hahah Your Gettin A Baten xxx

Scum 2,male.... Swear off hu u haha
:)Xxx

Scum 1...... Yeaah Me Haha xxx

Scum 2.... Ha ha ha u ar varey foney u ar a foll i sware in me mums life tb u foll

I was just having a nose through friends of friends pages and the girl had written this gem on the guys page.

Foll?

SteelyDanJalapeno

Horse?

falan

missbelle wrote: »

Foll?

I took it to be fool?

Paddy Cow

falan wrote: »

I took it to be fool?

Would that make it a typo or that weird new english that I don't understand

Paddy Cow

falan wrote: »

I took it to be fool?

Would that make it a typo or that weird new english I don't understand

focus_mad

catthinkin wrote: »

People who say they are bored like 5 times a day !!! Well get off facebook and do something ergh!!!

Had a go at one of my "friends" about that. Turns out he's on the dole so now every time he writes it I comment, "try look for a job"

better check if I'm still connected or not

amdublin wrote: »

Yep. Or the ones who talk to their children:

Xxxx is with their dad tonight. I love you so much xxxxx, you are the best son in the world

Or

Happy birthday to my little angel xxxxx, wait until you see your surprise when you get home from school

Your kids aren't on facebook, go away.

We may have the same friend!!

Laika1986 wrote: »

I couldnt agree more, a friend of mine died suddenly 2 years ago and recently there was like a memorial page created for her. I wasn't too happy about it and it annoyed me why someone would do it. However I then found out it was her little sister who made the page and thought well if it helps her cope with losing her sister then **** it at least it's doing some good

I think it should only be a family member that creates the page.

Also to the people that share pics trying to get back at an ex, chances are they have already deleted you and ALL of your friends

kraggy

chuckliddell wrote: »

The .com and the whoop whoop brigade..... C**ts !

Yeah what the hell is the "whoop" thing about? If it was "woohoo" or something I'd say fine because it sounds like something you'd say in real life.

I'd never go "whoop!". The 'p' at the end is too limiting. it cuts things short. I want to release. And unleash. But I can't do that if there's a shaggin' p at the end.

missbelle

falan wrote: »

I took it to be fool?

Of course :P
Can't decipher the young uns these days :cool:

Will I Amnt

"my jaysus I've seen it all now,some lad collecting his daughter from school on a horse!!!what is this town coming to?"
I lol'd

Cunning Stunt

I hate it when I get tagged in a photo that doesnt even have me in it. Why don't they just share the photo instead

Vain

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS AND LADIES: if you walk from home, school, office or anywhere and you are alone and you come across a little boy crying holding a piece of paper with an address on it, DO NOT TAKE HIM THERE! Take him straight to the police station for this is the new 'gang' way of rape. The incident is getting worse. Warn your families and friends. Repost this so this message can get across WTF what is this Country coming to... This is all of leinster sharing as got it from a friend of mine is no laughing matter!

Wtf is that ****, they have a child picking out girls to rape where he brings him home to his house and they gang rape the girl, and move house to house to do this

batistuta9

Vain wrote: »

Wtf is that ****, they have a child picking out girls to rape where he brings him home to his house and they gang rape the girl, and move house to house to do this

it's a well thought out plan if it's true - well for the first time anyway

hefferboi

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/405531_340997225933885_174207815946161_1031859_1875581092_n.jpg

Shanotheslayer

Sitec wrote: »

JUST a mum? Uhhh yes, I am a Mum! That makes me an alarm clock, cook, maid, waitress, teacher, nurse, referee, handyman, security officer, photographer, counselor, chauffeur, event planner, body guard, Hairdresser, personal assistant, ATM & I scare away the boogie man. I don't get holidays, sick pay or days off. I work through the DAY & NIGHT. I am on call 24/7 for the rest of my life. And I Love it ♥

No, you're just a tramp that can't keep her legs closed.

So your mam is tramp to ?

PrettyBoy

"i realized theres no such thing as a fresh start, u can always start again to get a different ending, but once uv doin sumthin u cant start de same thing from a fresh start."

...what?

newbee22

Not a facebook status as such, but lots of people I know posting pictures of the flowers they have received from their boyfriends today:eek: (And no I'm not only complaining because I'm a bitter singleton!:P)