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Child Item

Best Man Paying For His Own Suit????

GastroBoy

Hi.

I got asked to be best man to a close friend recently, which of course is a huge
honor.
Now that its coming closer to the wedding, however, he has asked all the groomsmen & myself for the money to hire the suit, around 110 euros.
Personally i don't feel that is right, and i know the other groomsmen feel a bit
awkward about it too.

Is this normal?? As best man should i speak up for the other groomsmen and tell him he is going about it the wrong way?
After all, I am already down a few hundred euros planning the stag, and I would never dream of asking him for his hotel fee etc...

The guy isn't short of a few pound so i know its not a budget thing.
I just thought the tradition was that the wedding party pay for such things.

Thanks, GB.

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stargazer 68

Sorry but thats just being a tight a**e!! I have never heard of any of the bridal party paying for their suits!

Sleepy

Never heard of that one before, can understand being asked to wear your own shoes or just to wear your own suit cos they're not bothering with rentals for any of the bridal party but asking you to pay for the suit hire is a bit much tbh!

no1beemerfan

I got married last July and I paid for the suit hire, though did ask the two fellas to get their own shoes if they didn't have good black ones they could have used. Wouldn't ask them to pay for the suits to be honest.

abouttobebanned

Unheard of.

GastroBoy

no1beemerfan wrote: »

I got married last July and I paid for the suit hire, though did ask the two fellas to get their own shoes if they didn't have good black ones they could have used. Wouldn't ask them to pay for the suits to be honest.

Of course, shoes & belts are no problem, i would expect to have that much myself.
Im talking about the suit hire.

stargazer 68

GastroBoy wrote: »

Of course, shoes & belts are no problem, i would expect to have that much myself.
Im talking about the suit hire.

Never heard of it OP. You will have to speak to the other groomsmen and then to the groom. Make sure one of them doesnt cave in though and pay him!

D3PO

what a cheeky f**k . Hes being beyond tight.

Id tell him to find a new best man.

Zulu

Never heard the likes. Scab.

Staplor

Nope never heard of it either, and you just slap a tenner on the cost of the stag to everyone that goes on it to cover the Groom. If everyone has booked in already and paid up just say it on arrival to everyone, or have one of the groomsmen to it, they are your henchmen after all.

clint_silver

GastroBoy wrote: »

Of course, shoes & belts are no problem, i would expect to have that much myself.
Im talking about the suit hire.

Completely unheard of. If budget is a problem for him tell him you'll wear your own suit but will not be renting one at your cost.

Anything that is a cost that they are imposing on you would be borne by the couple. for the bridesmaids this would usually be hair, makeup, dresses, flowers, maybe shoes if they dont have any of their own to match.

for the gents this is usually just suit hire. With a dress suit you wouldnt normally have a belt.

the B&G can pay for some other things if they wish like rooms for the night for the bridal party, but this is at their discretion there is no rules about this.

If it was black tie and the rental was around the 100e mark, this is not far off the cost of a new tux, maybe more economical to buy one.

But asking you for the rental cost? Absolutely not!

Zulu

I'd make the groom pay his own way on the stag, the scabby git.

hoodwinked

with ours, we are paying for all of the groomsmen's suits, if we want them to wear a certain suit then we will pay for it, if they were allowed wear their own we wouldn't simple.

stargazer 68

Maybe hes just chancing his arm in the hope that if one pays up then the others will. Tight git!

silly

Totally unheard of. Someone does need to tell him this...

I hope the bridesmaids aren't being asked to pay for their own dresses! :0

Mossess

That's just Cheap. How much is he asking each guest to handover for the meal?

GastroBoy

Mossess wrote: »

That's just Cheap. How much is he asking each guest to handover for the meal?

Haha, thats what i was thinking, why not charge at the door for the meal!

SirIrish

Getting married in 3 months. Wouldn't even think about asking the groomsmen to get or pay for their own suits. Give him a slap and tell him to cop on and tell him not to forget he has to get the groomsmen and bridesmaids gifts too

Clare Bear

Wow that's cheeky!! Never heard of that in my life, don't dare even consider paying for your suits! What a cheapskate!

GastroBoy

Clare Bear wrote: »

Wow that's cheeky!! Never heard of that in my life, don't dare even consider paying for your suits! What a cheapskate!

I know!! At the end of the day, it is their wedding and they can go about it anyway they please, and we have been friends for years which is why its difficult to bring up the topic. But I didnt ask to be best man, so why should I pay.

Thanks to all for the replies, I think I may have to say something to him about all this

Daisy M

If your not comfortable refusing tell him you consider the suit hire to be your wedding gift to him.

Clare Bear

GastroBoy wrote: »

I know!! At the end of the day, it is their wedding and they can go about it anyway they please, and we have been friends for years which is why its difficult to bring up the topic. But I didnt ask to be best man, so why should I pay.

Thanks to all for the replies, I think I may have to say something to him about all this

Show him this thread!

No I understand that it's an awkward situation but it really sounds like he's either chancing his arm or doesn't have a clue that this is how it's done. Either way he needs to know, best of luck!

professore

Tell him either he pays for it or he can find another best man. What an a**hole.

3DataModem

Ridiculous.

Tell him you'll wear your best suit. If he wants you to wear something of his choice (or something that matches) tell him he can pick up the tab.

Moonbeam

Are the bridesmaids being asked to the bill for their dresses?
At that price it sounds like it might be black tie?
Are the bride and groom really hard up for money?Are they expecting you to pay for your rooms in hotel etc too?
Personally I think it is a bit much and if they can't afford it ask you all to wear a suit that you own and maybe buy you matching shirts and ties.

i71jskz5xu42pb

Tell him you have a wedding suit, you don't need to rent one.

You know, the hand-me-down your Dad gave you from the sixties, brown velour will never go out of fashion.

frag420

Rent on of these, that will teach him!!

Hope link works as on phone!!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YwERUL-RzBg/TaxHTCqlcAI/AAAAAAAACb4/bEBYVWuyjQw/s1600/dumb+3.jpg

Cellygirl

Is the groom Irish?

Just I know in America, the bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for their own attire. Dress/suit, shoes, hair, flowers, the works.

So just wondering if the groom is not Irish and doesn't know that that's not the tradition here?

We paid for everything for our bridal party - didn't want them to be out of pocket when they were the ones doing us a favour!

We paid for dresses and suits, hair, make-up, flowers. We bought our bridal party gifts (silly trinket and a voucher for their fave restaurant) and we paid for their hotel room for the night of the wedding. Wouldn't have dreamt of doing it any other way.

If the groom IS Irish - maybe he's never been to another wedding, or doesn't have older brothers or sisters so doesn't know how it works? I just remember a mate of mine getting married and absolutely RAVING about the cake they were getting and keeping it a secret what flavour it was as 'you've never heard of or tasted anything like this' and then it turned out to be chocolate biscuit cake. My mate had never been to a wedding and had no siblings so had no idea that chocolate biscuit cake is a staple of wedding cakes now! They thought it was still the bog standard fruit cake and thought they were being so exotic and different with their chocolate biscuit cake.

So there's every chance the groom might not realise he has to pay. Deffo say it to him!

Balmed Out

Ive never heard of that.
To be honest ive never heard of paying for the groom to be's stag either. Ive been to a dozen and everyone including the groom has paid their own way. Since a lot of the lads want to go to euro 2012 and my stag would be more of a drain then normal im having a very local stag and going to euro 2012 with the bulk of the group. Should I ask them to pay........

jomc

Thats insane op. If he expects you to pay for your own attire then i would politely tell him you don't need to get a suit as you already have one. Talk to the groomsmen and see if you're all on the same page. If he wants you to get the suit hire, then he pays, if he doesn't want to pay then you can all wear your own suits.

How many grromsmen and bridesmaids are there? I wonder did they get carried away asking people and then realised they couldn't afford them? Do you know if the bridesmaids are being asked to pay?

Also you shouldn't be paying for the stag! Are you paying for everyone or just the groom? For my stag the lads each gave a contribution to cover my costs. I didn't ask them to do that nor did i expect it. I got them a lot of drinks as a bit of a thank you but when my bm was organising my stag i fully expected to pay for my share plus a bit more to get the lads a few drinks.

wolfpawnat

My partner is a grooms man at a wedding this year and he was told the same. At first we were thinking "Oh well, things must be tight"......... until they went and rented a gorgeous big car for the day and are after booking a beautiful expensive hotel for the wedding reception, now the OH is a bit annoyed, especially as this is his best friend and the friend knows that he is in college and that we are pretty broke.