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Humanity Must Be Destroyed!! (Two Minutes' Hate) 20140525 - SEE RULES IN POST #2

D-Generate

This thread is for all you Londoners to air your grievances about London and tell us all of what really grinds your gears.

I am inspired to write this by the underground turmoil caused by the actions of the dirty commies in the RMT and TSSA who decided that they will make my daily commute turn in to a journey to the seventh circle of hell.
Ticket workers: you are not as important to me as the piece of plastic in my wallet. All i need is my Oyster and auto-top up and I will never need to consult you for anything not that I have ever before. Please take your redundancies and stop causing me hassle in the morning.
Drivers: the cabin may be hot and in order to save you from the heat I hope they soon replace you with an automated driving system. You can then enjoy the cooling air as you stand outside the Job Centre waiting to sign on. Just shut up and get on with your job.

Engineers..... yeah you have some use (for now) but please don't allow an engineering train to go out of control through four underground stations.

That is all.

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Fysh

D-Generate wrote: »

You forgot the terrible standard of the pints.

Glad to see all you folks are still embittered about London life! Ah, fresh Irish air is now filling my lungs every day on my walk 20 minute walk to work. Lovely!

Well now I just know you're talking out of your arse. Fresh air? In Dublin? Yeah, good luck with that...

djpbarry

D-Generate wrote: »

You forgot the terrible standard of the pints.

Pints of what and relative to where?

Cheetara

Jack B. Badd wrote: »

Dear work, why would you put someone who couldn't find their own arse with both hands & a torch in charge of a major project? Seriously...why?!

Glad to see i'm not alone.....Thank God it's Friday and I'm out of here for the weekend!!!

Scarinae

A guy on a skateboard just passed me, and I saw him turn slightly, close one nostril with his finger and blow a huge chunk of snot out of the other nostril onto the ground. He didn't even slow down, so he's obviously well practised. There is no boards smiley that adequately displays my disgust.

Fysh

Fishie wrote: »

A guy on a skateboard just passed me, and I saw him turn slightly, close one nostril with his finger and blow a huge chunk of snot out of the other nostril onto the ground. He didn't even slow down, so he's obviously well practised. There is no boards smiley that adequately displays my disgust.

Wow, that's...that's impressive. Reminds me of the Beavis & Butthead videogame where you had to spit on people's heads.
...

In fact, courtesy of the people at MTV USA, here it is! Now you too can be as classless as that skateboarder!

bluedolphin

Fysh wrote: »

Well now I just know you're talking out of your arse. Fresh air? In Dublin? Yeah, good luck with that...

It took you this long to realise D-Generate talks out of his arse? :eek:

delta720

A new guy moved into the house I'm living in there a couple of weeks ago. He's 35 while everyone else is in their early 20's. I thought it was a bit odd that he'd choose to live with younger people, then he started saying really strange things that made me think he was either actually properly not mentally sound or he was just a simple chap.

Now I know he's not mentally stable cause he's after bringing back a homeless guy that he just met at a 'spiritual meeting' to stay over in our house. I can't even throw the fella out incase they flip and stab me or something!!

exiledelbows

AAAAARRGH! For reasons i won't get into i don't have my oyster today. thought bus fare was two quid so had it ready. apparently its 2.20 now and driver had no change and despite everyone behind me in the queue sayin 'let him off' he wouldn't.

so i stormed off the bus and went into a shop for some change and the girl in the shop (in that dead-eyed 'not my problem' look that London High Street shop assistants have down to a tee) of course couldn't give me change! This f***ing city sometimes!!!

Fysh

Yeah, bus drivers on the more central routes can be massive dicks about stuff like that. The thing they brought in on the likes of Oxford Street where you have to buy your ticket from a vending machine at the bus stop (even if it's because you didn't realise you don't have enough on your Oyster card) is a wanky move too.

galv

Hello all. My first post! Here goes.. Not sure if this one’s been mentioned but those charity collectors that are on the streets can be a pain.
Different ones almost every day trying to grab your attention in their overenthusiastic pain in the ass way "looking for a chat".
Getting by one usually isn’t enough either as another one is a few yards ahead ready to pounce....

And the beer here isn’t great!

Rant over.

who the fug

galv wrote: »

Hello all. My first post! Here goes.. Not sure if this one’s been mentioned but those charity collectors that are on the streets can be a pain.
Different ones almost every day trying to grab your attention in their overenthusiastic pain in the ass way "looking for a chat".
Getting by one usually isn’t enough either as another one is a few yards ahead ready to pounce....

And the beer here isn’t great!

Rant over.

Welcome

Chuggers, give it a few years they will leave you alone

Re beer depends on what you be drinkign and were

growler

noticing a worrying trend developing on recent tube journeys, not content with pissing off everyone in a 3 metre radius with their crappy tunes played through ill fitting earphones, i've now started to notice that some of these morons are now only using one earphone allowing the second to hang down all the better to spread the noise around.

I could maybe understand using one earphone if walking in the park and wanting to be alert to approaching fellow scumbags who may wish to kill you / cops who may wish to nick you, but on the tube ?? grrrr :mad:

on the plus side, proper fundamentalist looking fella held the bus for me last night as i sprinted from the tube exit, cheers !

Mc Kenzie

If i trip up on another footpath ....ill go mad LOL....the hame of it :P

djpbarry

galv wrote: »

And the beer here isn’t great!

Aw, come on. Britain is one of the greatest beer-producing regions in the world. End of.

upmeath

djpbarry wrote: »

Aw, come on. Britain is one of the greatest beer-producing regions in the world. End of.

The only connection between Britain and one of the greatest beer-producing regions in the world is a railway line to Brussels.

Fysh

upmeath wrote: »

The only connection between Britain and one of the greatest beer-producing regions in the world is a railway line to Brussels.

Not liking ale is one thing, but being ignorant of the range and quality of ales, ciders and perries produced in Britain is another thing altogether, and not something you should boast about :P

Loco

Fysh wrote: »

Yeah, bus drivers on the more central routes can be massive dicks about stuff like that. The thing they brought in on the likes of Oxford Street where you have to buy your ticket from a vending machine at the bus stop (even if it's because you didn't realise you don't have enough on your Oyster card) is a wanky move too.

I was told get off the bus a few weeks ago, because the bus driver didn't want to break a £5 note as my oyster ran out.

I can understand this needs to be done on Oxford St to avoid delays, but this was on some quiet, random street in East London with about 3 people on the bus. Infuriating!

Necron

I'm just here because of the 1984 referance

That and pedestrians not using the lights to cross the road even though they are only 2 mins away.

who the fug

Muppets with fold down bikes on the tube will die

that is all

Jack B. Badd

who the fug wrote: »

Muppets with fold down bikes on the tube will die

that is all

Muppets with non-fold down bikes on the train....grrrrr

Sam V Smith

I'm new to London - temporarily staying in Ealing, and was shown around by some very friendly jehovah's witnesses. They did hand me some leaflets when it was time to say goodbye, which I'd usually refuse, but I couldn't bring myself to tell them that I'm an atheist! I took them and thanked them.

The bad though has to be the tube... actually scratch that, the tube is great... it's the people. They seem to have no respect or regard for others at all - barging straight at you and pushing people aside. I saw a young girl (old enough to know much better) jump in front of an elderly man taking his seat on the tube. Didn't even acknowlege him.

LadyMayBelle

Gave evil stares to two teens who refused to get out of their seat on the bus for an elderly man this eve. They played sh*tty tinny tunes out of their mobiles and do this really stupid Essex accent that goes through my head; 'Manz','innit' and 'awks' for ask...grrr

*at this point I should say I had a rough day, and as I work with Essex children and teens, I am entitled to a whinge!!

Fysh

One for the ladies:

If you're travelling on the Tube or Overground, and need to bring with you enough stuff to fill not only a large canvas bag but also something that can only be called a handbag by applying the same scale under which an elephant is considered "a bit small", and you are standing.... be aware of how much space you take up! It is not reasonable to take up twice as much space as anyone else on the train and then give them dirty looks if they end up moving said handbag because you insist on wearing it like some sort of one-arm rucksack!

(I have a largeish backpack with me most days, but whenever the train's busy I take it off and put it on the floor between my feet so that it's not in the way. I don't see what's so hard about this.)

growler

on a similar note , tourists, returning gap year students and migrating squatters: please note that backpacks are physically solid objects and have a tendency to move when you move, which on a crowded tube has a similar effect to swinging a suitcase at random. Be not surprised that everyone hates you.

S.M.B.

Just because you are on the tube it doesn't mean that you are legally obliged to read a newspaper or book.

If you find yourself on an over crowded tube why not postpone yourr reading for a short period until the time comes where you are less likely to be shoving the publication into a fellow passengers face.

Fenny

Tube complaint #145332: people swearing (not-so-quietly) under their breath or sighing passive-aggressively on a crowded tube when they get accidentally pushed into.

Mate, as you've obviously noticed, there are a lot of people crowding into a space the size of a lift. Chances are you're not being singled out deliberately to be shoved into, and that you're not the only person who feels a bit cramped and pissed off. Why you have to act as if the universe is weighing some great burden on you and you alone is beyond me.

Oh, and Oxford Street at any time of day, any day, should be cordoned off and left to rot.

Jack B. Badd

Wtf is up with the gimboids who, after you've hit the button to open the train doors, try to hop on in front of you? I didn't open it for you, you entitled git

Playboy

Really cant understand why some people when walking up or down the escalator decide to stand still for the last 5 - 6 steps!!!! So frustrating as it creates a knock on effect holding everyone up. If you cant walk up the escalator at a decent pace or for some reason dont want to walk the last few steps then stand on the right and leave the left open for people in a rush like its meant for!

/rant over!

djpbarry

Playboy wrote: »

Really cant understand why some people when walking up or down the escalator decide to stand still for the last 5 - 6 steps!!!!

Worse still are the people who stand still when they reach the top/bottom of the escalator while they ponder their next move.

5uspect

Playboy wrote: »

Really cant understand why some people when walking up or down the escalator decide to stand still for the last 5 - 6 steps!!!! So frustrating as it creates a knock on effect holding everyone up. If you cant walk up the escalator at a decent pace or for some reason dont want to walk the last few steps then stand on the right and leave the left open for people in a rush like its meant for!

/rant over!

I know someone who stands still as they come to the end of the escalator because they really dislike the feeling of acceleration as you get off while moving. Needless to say I point it out every time.