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Marriage cert = €150, average Irish wedding cost in a recession= €29,000, why?

Bride2012

I'm getting married in June and wanted a small wedding but I got pressured by family and friends to make it bigger as 'you'll regret it if you don't'. Now I've a big, expensive wedding that I don't really want. I hear of this happening so often, usually parents having their own big guest list. Why do we do it to ourselves in Ireland?

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Mike 1972

4leto wrote: »

Yeah I am just copping on to that 29,000 that is an insane amount of cash for one day.

I suppose it wouldnt be too bad if one was getting married in Zimbabwe

TheZohan wrote: »

Ireland now has a 50% divorce rate and it's climbing rapidly...so yeah enjoy your wedding.

Source ????

Admitidely I wouldnt be well up on recent stats but It sounds pretty high. A lot higher than the UK and on a par with the US ?

Call Me Jimmy

Bride2012 wrote: »

How romantic.

Romance, pah!

maygitchell

Bens wrote: »

My cousin eloped and didnt tell her parents til after.
Brought 12 of us who were close to them to the Caribbean and got married there.
We had a great time and it cost them much less than a traditional wedding.

Then about 10 years later her father died. A few weeks before he died I remember him saying at another family wedding he only wished he could have walked his daughter up the aisle. And asking me what the wedding was like. He missed that she didnt have a big wedding.
I never told her he said that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0W_SGoBFJxs

red menace

MagicMarker wrote: »

Yeah, you really showed them! :rolleyes:

Woo rolleyes
Honeymoon was nearly half of the total cost 3 weeks in Thailand ftw
My point was we had exactly who we wanted at the wedding, and not the extended family that parents wanted us to have, some of whom I hadn't spoken to in 10+ years
We had the cash to spend and didn't have to borrow any money or get parents to pay for anything

Bride2012

TheZohan wrote: »

Ireland now has a 50% divorce rate and it's climbing rapidly...so yeah enjoy your wedding.

There's no way that it's anywhere near that figure!

Ireland 's marital breakdown rate has now hit 27.5 per cent, figures from the Courts Service Annual Report for 2008 indicate.

The report shows that there were 6,222 separations and divorces in 2008, an increase of 15.6 per cent from 2001, when there were 5,380 separations and divorces.

Of these, 4,257 were divorces, with 1,965 separations making up the difference. This represents a 22 per cent increase in divorce since 2001, when there were 3,490 divorces.

http://www.cinews.ie/article.php?artid=6259

Cool Mo D

TheZohan wrote: »

Ireland now has a 50% divorce rate and it's climbing rapidly...so yeah enjoy your wedding.

No it doesn't, the divorce rate in Ireland is the lowest in the EU. We only have 1/4 the divorce rate of the United States too.

Mike 1972

Cool Mo D wrote: »

the divorce rate in Ireland is the lowest in the EU. .

Id question that too.

Malta is in the EU and theyve only recently legalised divorce.

krudler

Cool Mo D wrote: »

No it doesn't, the divorce rate in Ireland is the lowest in the EU. We only have 1/4 the divorce rate of the United States too.

but the US has a much higher population, and Vegas. its not comparable.

CelticRambler

4leto wrote: »

Yeah I am just copping on to that 29,000 that is an insane amount of cash for one day, imagine the honeymoon you could get with 29 grand...

That figure - if you check the OP's link - includes the honeymoon and some "lifetime memories" such as photo & video. However, one can never know how long that "lifetime" might be.

Personnally, I think the OP's parents are being unreasonable, offering a "present" of 2k, then producing a list of 60 extra guests. That's just a contribution of 33€ per guest, so actually no present at all. This being Ireland, they've probably got some "what will the neighbours/family/others" think issues, and it would be insensitive to ignore them - but as has been said before: Bride2012 - this is your day. Decide on a format and a venue that matches your dream wedding day, and be ruthless about who gets on the shortlist. You can always allow someone to organise an "afters" at a different location and put in an appearance before you head off to your honeymoon suite ... or even when you get back from honeymoon.

looksee

Some years ago when I was doing graphic design people would occasionally ask me to do wedding invitations for them. Almost always they would say, can I say this, or, what do people do, can I put whatever? Initially I would say, you can put whatever you like, its your invitation. Their sense of insecurity about having to do it 'right' was so strong though that eventually I would make up the rules as I went along 'oh yes, its fine to do that' if I felt 'that' was what they wanted.

A lot of the 'big wedding' thing (for the mothers anyway) is kind of related to the Waterford Glass on the sideboard attitude - its what you are 'supposed' to have, so you have it, even if you don't like Waterford Glass.

lazygal

Our wedding came it at around €15k all told. We didn't have a church wedding, which saved us an estimated €1.5k (between marriage courses, priest fees etc, etc-church weddings are a real money spinner). Himself wanted a free bar, so we put a fair bit behind the bar, provided a lot of food, free pours on wine and bubbly and had a fantastic band (spent a lot but worth it, six months later people are still asking us about the band).

The €150 is how much it costs to get married, everything outside that is an optional extra. It wrecks my head when people complain about the price of weddings and how they hope to "cover their costs" with cash gift, fúck RIGHT off, you don't need five bridesmaids, fancy cars and a church full of flowers to get married, if you want those extras pay for them yourselves! We did, we saved and had a fantastic day but if we were broke we'd have nipped to the registry office, job done, and we'd be no less married than we are now!!!

A lot of weddings are a real celtic tiger hangover, full of unnecessary trappings and designed to pander to some women's desire to be a princess for a day. Does my head in to go to those weddings.

TheZohanS

Bride2012 wrote: »

There's no way that it's anywhere near that figure!

Ireland 's marital breakdown rate has now hit 27.5 per cent, figures from the Courts Service Annual Report for 2008 indicate.

The report shows that there were 6,222 separations and divorces in 2008, an increase of 15.6 per cent from 2001, when there were 5,380 separations and divorces.

Of these, 4,257 were divorces, with 1,965 separations making up the difference. This represents a 22 per cent increase in divorce since 2001, when there were 3,490 divorces.

http://www.cinews.ie/article.php?artid=6259

That's from 2008, 3 years ago. It's now 50% and rising.

Cool Mo D wrote: »

No it doesn't, the divorce rate in Ireland is the lowest in the EU. We only have 1/4 the divorce rate of the United States too.

It was the lowest, back when divorce was illegal. It takes two years to get a legal separation in the state and even longer to get a divorce. The figures you're going by are old stats.

Bride2012

TheZohan wrote: »

That's from 2008, 3 years ago. It's now 50% and rising.

It was the lowest, back when divorce was illegal. It takes two years to get a legal separation in the state and even longer to get a divorce. The figures you're going by are old stats.

The 27% was only marital breakdown. I'm going by old stats as an indication of the country now but what exactly are you going by? Do you have a source for this 50% and rising divorce rate?

hondasam

Bride2012 wrote: »

I'm getting married in June and wanted a small wedding but I got pressured by family and friends to make it bigger as 'you'll regret it if you don't'. Now I've a big, expensive wedding that I don't really want. I hear of this happening so often, usually parents having their own big guest list. Why do we do it to ourselves in Ireland?

Obviously you did not want a small wedding or you would have one.
You sure you want to get married? who is paying for this wedding?

force eleven

Just watch an episode or two of Bridezillas. Would put anyone off weddings for life.

stovelid

Bride2012 wrote: »

I'm getting married in June and wanted a small wedding but I got pressured by family and friends to make it bigger as 'you'll regret it if you don't'. Now I've a big, expensive wedding that I don't really want. I hear of this happening so often, usually parents having their own big guest list. Why do we do it to ourselves in Ireland?

I don't mean this harshly but if you didn't have the guts to face them down, don't expect others to.

Think ours cost something like 6 or 7 grand (excluding honeymoon) and it was an absolutely excellent night. I only invited a small handful of relations: basically the ones I see fairly regularly. Nobody has taken a lasting hump that I can see.

ringadingding

I wonder how many couples 'break even' with their weddings ?

Its a risky game, I know someone who spend 19k on theirs and they thought the cash gifts would cover it, it didn't, they were left 10k shy and were gutted.
They even held a bit of a grudge to the people who attended.

I can't imagine being dependent on your GUESTS to cough up.

I always hear of arguments about weddings, bridezillas, people turning up with same dress, kids being invited, kids being left out, people being invited, people being put onto a back table, the menu choices, thank you cards not being sent blah blah blah blah blah

I'm so glad we sidestepped the whole thing tbh.

TheZohanS

Apologies. that should be separation rate, not divorce rate.

cofy

ringadingding wrote: »

We have huge families, My wife and I booked everything and only told people the week before, so was only us and a few close friends and family members.
Was a lovely, stress free day with a lovely meal and smiles.

My brother and his fiancee just decided spur of the moment in Vegas, came back and told us.

Suited us, our wives were not into the big day, we both had no debts afterwards and went on lovely honeymoons.

But if somebody wants to spend 30k on a wedding, fair play to them, i'd rather spend it on a nice car, horses for courses.

Like you we have big families, we decided to have a small wedding too,(35 guests) thinking that it was the most stress free way to do it. Oh boy was I wrong.

We told the families 1 month beforehand that we were having a small wedding and just simply going for a meal afterwards. My husbands sisters said that we did not give them enough notice and refused to go, his mother said that if they were not going she was'nt going either.

My husbands priest even came to have a "chat about the wedding" he was also pushing for a bigger wedding. I stuck to my plans. In the end, his sisters and mother came to the wedding and everything went right on the day.

The cermony was so relaxed and the meal was fantastic. The restaurant allowed us to have a full menu so there could not be any complaints about their choices.

Mike 1972

There does tend to be a bit of confusion over what the "marital breakdown rate" is actually measuring of course.

In the US the divorce rate is over 50% yet around two thirds of couples marrying for the first time (despite the tendency to do so are a relatively young age) will never get divorced. (Its people who get married/divorced multiple times who drive the stats up)

On the other hand a lot of marriiages have effectly broken down without the couple having formally sperated.

cofy wrote: »

My husbands priest even came to have a "chat about the wedding" he was also pushing for a bigger wedding.

WTF?

Seriously not trying to be a smart@r$€ but what decade are we talking about here ?

Bride2012

TheZohan wrote: »

Apologies. that should be separation rate, not divorce rate.

and the source?

Cool Mo D

TheZohan wrote: »

That's from 2008, 3 years ago. It's now 50% and rising.

It was the lowest, back when divorce was illegal. It takes two years to get a legal separation in the state and even longer to get a divorce. The figures you're going by are old stats.

Here is the latest CSO release on divorces in Ireland, it's on page 61. It shows that we have a divorce rate of 0.8 per 1000 people per year. Most of Europe has around 2.0 per 1000, and the USA has 3.6 per 1000. Ireland has 4.8 marriages per 1000 people per year, giving a divorce rate of 16%. (Stats here)

Both marriages and divorces per 1000 people have been steady since the 1950's in the case of marriages, and since divorce has been introduced.

bringitdown

I did a small wedding on a tropical island - I paid for my immediate families villas and for flights and transit to the island.

We had a wonderful custom ceremony, a 5* 4 course meal, and open bar and a stonking time for approx EUR10,000 - and that included 5 nights of honeymoon in a pool suite.

Excluding intl flights - and we accepted no gifts due to that expense.

It was perfect in every way - no pressure, wonderful setting, meaningful and truly a day we'll never forget.

No one iota of regret for missing the beef or salmon march.

TheZohanS

Bride2012 wrote: »

and the source?

It was a Law Society publication I read in a solicitors office last week.

Bride2012

TheZohan wrote: »

It was a Law Society publication I read in a solicitors office last week.

Think I'll go with the CSO on this one.

eirn

I've just had a look through a friends facebook pictures of her wedding day, out of about 40, the groom was only in one! It was all the bride, bridesmaids, family, friends, flowers, even more shots of the cake then the couple!

I never used to think about what kind of wedding I'd want, but going to friend's weddings has made me think about what I might do differently if I ever got married, as all the weddings I've been to, while lovely, have essentially been slight variations of the exact same thing, that put young couples into debt. Every girl wore the big white victorian style gown regardless of the fact that normally they're all really stylish, modern young women. Same food, music, etc.

One of my dad's best friends is a Quaker, and traditionally they have very simple weddings. Everyone present, including kids, signs the wedding register. Then they had tea and biscuits! Not saying I want something that simple

, but I don't have any burning desire to wear a princess dress and be the centre of attention either.

I just don't see why you have to take a couple of hundred people out to dinner and entertain them for the evening in order to express your comittment to another person.

TheZohanS

Bride2012 wrote: »

Think I'll go with the CSO on this one.

It you want to go with 2008 stats that is your prerogative, next time I'm in the office I'll pick up the publication and scan it if I can lay my hands on it. Would be great if you bookmarked this thread and came back to it in five years though.

Mike 1972

Marriage cert = €150

On a somewhat different note does anyone else think the above figure is a bit of a rip off (albeit perhaps not on the same scale as the charges levied by for example wedding photographers) ?

Paparazzo

Bride2012 wrote: »

This is where the €29,000 average came from, it does add up.

http://www.mrs2be.ie/newsworthy/some-wedding-stats-from-irish-wedding-survey-2011/

I got married in england last year and I could have had 6 weddings for that price. Those prices are crazy! For instance, flowers for my wedding cost £45. We made loads of stuff ourselves, like stationary, centerpieces, cake.
After out wedding and getting prices for a cake being iced in yorkshire and dublin, I honestly think that it's some sort of cartel of cake icers in ireland. In yorkshire they were charging something like 15 pounds, in ireland they were looking for something like 200.

Peep O'Day

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Dont assume the OP is Catholic

Oh so only Catholics can get married in Rome? Better tell my sister that her marriage is null and void :rolleyes: