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Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink?

Rocket19

I met a guy in a club over the weekend, he took my number and we went on a date last night.
It didn't take me long to discover that he doesn't drink (he's a personal trainer). Kind of embarassing that I didn't realise this when we met (I was pretty drunk, he must have been sober), but oh well.

While I totally respect that he chooses not to drink, it was admittedly unchartered territory for me. While I have other hobbies, I'm college age and a lot of my social life revolves around alcohol (like most people I guess).

He seems a lovely guy and is great craic but I couldn't help thinking he would feel somewhat removed from my social life. (Although I did meet him in a club, so I can assume he still does the 'normal' things, just without the drink). Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?
Also, I think I'd feel weird getting drunk and acting the fool, while he soberly watched this unfold. :pac:

Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink (assuming you are a regular drinker).
I'm aware our dependence on alcohol for a good time is awful in Ireland, and I really don't get very drunk ever, but at the same time, I couldn't help thinking "what the hell am I gonna do with him!!?

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tan11ie

Totally depends on the person.If they were a stick in the mud non drinker then no! I wouldn't be happy feeling like i had to watch what i was doing or how much i was drinking around them.

Bodhidharma

I think there should be a teatotaler's pride parade. They are not treated equally in this country.

plein de force

yeah i would. alcohol consumption doesn't have a factor in me liking a guy or not unless they're an alcoholic

plus instead of the usual pursuits that involve drinking the things you do together as a couple might be a bit more interesting than the usual go out and drink

lace

Not all non-drinkers are the same. I have family members who don't drink and still love going out and having fun with everyone else. When I'm not drinking (usually due to medication) I still go out with my friends and people seem to think I am drunk because I'm mostly fairly uninhibited anyways. Some people can't stand nightclubs unless they're drunk but I find I enjoy them just as much sober!

I also have some friends who don't drink and are horrible to go out with. Some (not all) non-drinkers have a very snobbish attitude to people who like to go out and enjoy themselves with alcohol. One of said friends only comes out on birthdays etc and seems to see it as more of a chore than a celebration and looks down on everyone else who is drinking.

To answer the question - I could definitely see myself going out with someone who doesn't drink provided that person was willing to have fun anyway.

Lord TSC

bnt wrote: »

They must think you're a Goody Two Shoes: don't drink, don't smoke ... what do you do?

Personally, I think it's important to understand why someone doesn't drink. If the person has never drunk at all, or stopped because of a drinking problem, those are warning signs IMHO. "Tried it, didn't like it" is more reassuring.

See, what I find funny is I reckon in many other cultures, parents would adore their daughters going out with a guy who doesn't drink, smoke etc. Yet here in Ireland, it's held against people :S

Also, are you saying that it's bad for someone to have never drunk at all? Personally, I never have, but I've seen what it does to people and it doesn't appeal to me at all. I have never drunk and never will cause I've seen so many moments of ineptitutde and desolance from drinkers and have no intentions of putting myself into those sorts of situations. I think that's fair enough to be honest. To be honest, whatever your reason for not drinking, I think others should respect your chosen wishes and not try pressuring you into stuff simply cause their opinion is different to yours.

I said this a while back in the thread and i hope you don't mind if i post it again.
"It takes a good man to have a drink but it takes a better man to say no to a drink."

While I appreciate the quote, I will say I disagree slightly. I don't consider myself "a better man" than others cause I don't drink. I do, sometimes, for other reasons, but not cause I don't drink :P

xXxkorixXx

You dont need drink to enjoy yourself. my da never drank in his life. when my da goes to a pub he has orange juice cause thats what he likes, he has traveled the world, a great conversationist. a whitty person, great sence of humour. When your speaking to someone thats sober, (and your drunk, or have drink on you, ) you wake up with a sore head and he wakes up with a sore head. and you always say 'never again' My ma and da has been married for 22 years and my ma hardly drinks

Noreen1

bnt wrote: »

Personally, I think it's important to understand why someone doesn't drink. If the person has never drunk at all, or stopped because of a drinking problem, those are warning signs IMHO. "Tried it, didn't like it" is more reassuring.

Why?
There are lots of very valid reasons why people choose not to drink.
eg. Someone may make that decision based on the fact that they don't like the smell. Others may be aware of problems caused by alcohol within their circle of family/friends. For others, there may be a valid health reason.

The reasons may be many and varied.
Why anyone would feel entitled to an explanation because someone doesn't drink is beyond me.:mad:
If you don't need an explanation for why someone doesn't eat steak/any other food, or an explanation for why someone drinks - why should you feel entitled to an explanation for what is, after all, a personal, and reasonable, choice?

After all - how would you react if someone demanded an explanation for why you drink? (In moderation, or otherwise.)

gonedrinking

Noreen1 wrote: »

After all - how would you react if someone demanded an explanation for why you drink? (In moderation, or otherwise.)

I would calmly tell them:

There's nothing I like more than getting fired up on beer
And when the weekends here I to exercise my right to get paralytic and fight
Good bloke fairly
But I get well leery when geezers look at me funny
Bounce 'em round like bunnies
I'm likely to cause mischief
Good clean grief you must believe and I ain't no thief.
Law abiding and all, all legal.
And who cares about my liver when it feels good
What you need is some real manhood.
Rasher rasher barney and kasha putting peoples backs up.
Public disorder, I'll give you public disorder.
I down eight pints and run all over the place
Spit in the face of an officer
See if that bothers you cause I never broke a law in my life
Someday I'm gonna settle down with a wife
Come on lads lets have another fight

Ellis Dee

The Famous Pig Song (Clarke Van Ness, music by F. Henri Klickmann) 'Twas an evening in October, I'll confess I wasn't sober, I was carting home a load with manly pride, When my feet began to stutter and I fell into the gutter, And a pig came up and lay down by my side. Then I lay there in the gutter and my heart was all a-flutter, Till a lady, passing by, did chance to say: "You can tell a man that boozes by the company he chooses," Then the pig got up and slowly walked away.

Walked away, walked away, He was really too particular to stay. "You can tell a man that boozes by the company he chooses," Then the pig got up and slowly walked away.

Then I heard a gentle mooing, it was like a pigeon cooing, As a home returning cow stopped in her stride, And her eyes were big and gentle; her expression sentimental, As she curtsied low and sat down by my side. Then I saw her eyelids flutter and a tear fell in the gutter, As the owner of the cow did loudly say: "Leave that brute this moment, Sonja, or your milk will curdle on ya," Then the cow got up and slowly walked away.

Walked away, walked away, She was really too particular to stay. "Leave that brute this moment, Sonja, or your milk will curdle on ya," Then the cow got up and slowly walked away.

Then the moon began to shine in that old gutter I reclined in, Thinking of the weakness of the human race, When a dog sat down beside me, and I thought he came to chide me, Till he gently licked the stubble on my face. In the gutter, still reclining, I began "Sweet Adeline-ing," While the dog raised up his head to loudly bay; Then his mistress said, "Come, Fido, that disgusting man may bite you," Then the dog got up and slowly walked away.

Walked away, walked away, He was really too particular to stay. Then his mistress said, "Come, Fido, that disgusting man may bite you," Then the dog got up and slowly walked away.

Down the street there came a clatter, and a gentle pitter-patter, As a pair of goats along the gutter ran; And it seemed that Billy knew me, for he quickly drew up to me, While his wife munched on an empty sardine can. Then again my pulse did flutter, and my heart was soft as butter; Till the Nanny goat, unto her mate, did say: "William dear, your social status don't include men such as that is," Then the goat got up and slowly walked away.

Walked away, walked away, He was really too particular to stay. "William dear, your social status don't include men such as that is," Then the goat got up and slowly walked away.:)

fraggle1

I don't drink anymore either. I was a fairly moderate drinker in my twenties. I However things changed in my early thirties and can't take the hangovers. I also found that it was having a negative effect on me. Although I didn't drink often, when I did, I drank too much. I did worry about the effect it would have on my social life. However I have gone on weekends away with the family all of whom love a drink and it was fine. I did worry I'd be pressured into drinking but my family were great and just accepted me getting soft drinks.
I think it helped that I was up for having the craic as well. They knew I was knocking it on the head because I needed to. They also knew that I could not and would not judge them because they were drinking.

I went with a guy when I was in my twenties( when I was drinking- a little at this time!) who didn't drink and I found that very attractive because he was very active. I like hiking and running etc and we always did something different together. However after a few weeks I noticed him making snide comments when I had more than one glass of wine. I think it just depends on the person...drink or no drink. If you're with someone who likes a drink and can handle their drink, enjoy their company. I don't think a person's drinking habits or lack of should influence anything. You just have to enjoy the person you both are and respect the differences.

Mal-Adjusted

Let me get this right...you're going out with a lad and whinging that he doesn't drink and are even reconsidering the whole relationship over it?

If that's the case, he's too good for you.

[Deleted User]

Can the resident drunks in the thread take the life expectancy test plz
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056298295

just to see if the alcohol gives you superpowers or not........

DWCommuter wrote: »

If he doesn't drink, he's not a man. GTFO of Dodge.

wow!

I would have said a beer belly and moobs are less manly than firm abs and big biceps -

but apparently it was I who was wrong all along

Spread

gonedrinking wrote: »

I would calmly tell them:

There's nothing I like more than getting fired up on beer
And when the weekends here I to exercise my right to get paralytic and fight
Good bloke fairly
But I get well leery when geezers look at me funny
Bounce 'em round like bunnies
I'm likely to cause mischief
Good clean grief you must believe and I ain't no thief.
Law abiding and all, all legal.
And who cares about my liver when it feels good
What you need is some real manhood.
Rasher rasher barney and kasha putting peoples backs up.
Public disorder, I'll give you public disorder.
I down eight pints and run all over the place
Spit in the face of an officer
See if that bothers you cause I never broke a law in my life
Someday I'm gonna settle down with a wife
Come on lads lets have another fight

You're nicked! Not because of your behaviour but your badass rap

Spread

Re The Famous Pig Song. Very good Ellis Dee. When I was a kid, a guy in our village used to recite the first verse when he was blotto. He was the village drunk, so although it was very funny to hear him say it, we were too young to realise just how pathetic it was. By the way, I didn't know that there were any more verses.

Ellis Dee

Spread wrote: »

Re The Famous Pig Song. Very good Ellis Dee. When I was a kid, a guy in our village used to recite the first verse when he was blotto. He was the village drunk, so although it was very funny to hear him say it, we were too young to realise just how pathetic it was. By the way, I didn't know that there were any more verses.

In fact, there are even more verses than the ones I posted.

You'll find them all here:

http://sniff.numachi.com/pages/tiPIGINEB4.html

Enjoy!:):)

johnr1

I'm a non drinker, - knocked it on the head about 10 years ago, as I just got sick of the whole culture of it, and it was causing other hassles for me, never regretted it for a moment, and only once or twice experienced any descrimination over it.
Right now though, I'm so fuckin annoyed ! I was chatting with a stunning intelligent woman of about my own age (mid/late 30s) in a late bar last night, - she aproached me I might add, as I wasn't really looking.
About 5 mins in, her friends are going back to their hotel, and she is adamantly staying on to chat to me. Everything going great.
Around 10 mins in, it comes up that I don't drink, and I get the line about not trusting people who don't drink, and two horror stories about friends of hers who were engaged to guys who don't drink who turned out to be psychos or whatever.
Cue a downward curve in conversation, and 5 mins later she's ringing her friends to know if they are in the taxi yet to collect her.
The most immature bullcrap I've ever come across from a mature adult who seemed so together and accomplished in other ways.
Disgusted doesent describe it, even though I probably wouldn't have pursued anything there anyway for other reasons.

[Deleted User]

Absolutely, because I don't drink myself. In fact, I'd prefer that she didn't.

W.Shakes-Beer

I could easily. I don't go drinking that often myself and when I do I don't go completely insane.

Wouldn't bother me at all.

Scarinae

My boyfriend doesn't drink, and it doesn't bother me. We started going out while we were in college and he'd still come to parties and nights out, he just doesn't drink at them. It doesn't stop me drinking, but then I don't tend to get absolutely trolleyed, just merry. If you're worrying that he'll judge you for drinking, then perhaps you know deep down that you're an annoying drunk?

Noreen1

gonedrinking wrote: »

I would calmly tell them:

There's nothing I like more than getting fired up on beer
And when the weekends here I to exercise my right to get paralytic and fight
Good bloke fairly
But I get well leery when geezers look at me funny
Bounce 'em round like bunnies
I'm likely to cause mischief
Good clean grief you must believe and I ain't no thief.
Law abiding and all, all legal.
And who cares about my liver when it feels good
What you need is some real manhood.
Rasher rasher barney and kasha putting peoples backs up.
Public disorder, I'll give you public disorder.
I down eight pints and run all over the place
Spit in the face of an officer
See if that bothers you cause I never broke a law in my life
Someday I'm gonna settle down with a wife
Come on lads lets have another fight

You have a right to make that choice.
However, others have an equal right to choose the opposite, without being viewed with suspicion.

No wonder we have a culture of binge drinking, if our youth are treated with suspicion because they choose not to drink.:mad::mad:

J_E

Boardsraped by RHunce... sorry guys!

Liam Byrne

johnr1 wrote: »

Cue a downward curve in conversation, and 5 mins later she's ringing her friends to know if they are in the taxi yet to collect her.
The most immature bullcrap I've ever come across from a mature adult who seemed so together and accomplished in other ways.
Disgusted doesent describe it, even though I probably wouldn't have pursued anything there anyway for other reasons.

Sounds like you had a lucky escape from a narrow-minded bigot!

eviltwin

I quit drinking three years ago. Thankfully my mates and partner aren't as drink obsessed as the OP and they know I am still a fun person to be around even if I'm on the cola...more fun in fact because they no longer have to deal with my hangovers in the morning

KeithM89_old

Cydoniac wrote: »

doctor bollocko is a right pain in my bollocko

Il wait for him to come online to ban you.

HalloweenJack

Sure, I'd always have a designated driver that way, save a fortune on taxis!

J_E

KeithM89 wrote: »

Il wait for him to come online to ban you.

Cheers RHunce... :rolleyes:

Ms. Pingui

I was seeing a guy that didnt drink a while back. I didnt have a problem with it because he seemed like good craic on a night out anyway. Then I found out that he didnt drink because it was easier to pick up drunk girls in pubs and clubs and bring them home!
Obviously I know not all non drinkers are like this and that drunk fellas can be sleazy too... the experience did kind of put me off non drinkers though tbh.

headmaster

It is true though, drunk women are eassssyyyy. I'm not allowed to make judgements, but at least that's not one, it's fact.
Do all those people that drink, intend to do so all their lives and totally disregard the smart person who decides not to drink? Sad.

neil_hosey

i wouldnt go out with a girl that didnt drink because we wouldnt be compatible, what with my alcoholism and all.

booboo88

gonedrinking wrote: »

I would calmly tell them:

There's nothing I like more than getting fired up on beer
And when the weekends here I to exercise my right to get paralytic and fight
Good bloke fairly
But I get well leery when geezers look at me funny
Bounce 'em round like bunnies
I'm likely to cause mischief
Good clean grief you must believe and I ain't no thief.
Law abiding and all, all legal.
And who cares about my liver when it feels good
What you need is some real manhood.
Rasher rasher barney and kasha putting peoples backs up.
Public disorder, I'll give you public disorder.
I down eight pints and run all over the place
Spit in the face of an officer
See if that bothers you cause I never broke a law in my life
Someday I'm gonna settle down with a wife
Come on lads lets have another fight

lets push things forward...............