nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

Best jokes from Primary school.

VenomousFish

This is the thread for all those jokes you remember from Primary. Think back to those simpler days, when all a joke needed was a reference to male genitalia to make everyone that heard it erupt into giggles. The more immature the better. To start:
My uncle Billy,
Had a very big willy,
So he showed it to the lady next door.
She thought it was a snake,
So she cut it with a rake,
And now it's only three foot four.

Find more posts tagged with

primary school

humour

jokes

laughter

Quick Links

Comments

merengueca

What do you call a Spanish footballer with no legs!

Grassy ar5e:D

Oh_Noes

What's the difference between Ayrton Senna and Denis Irwin?

Denis Irwin can take corners.

hatrickpatrick

Hey, would you like to join the Pen Fifteen club?
It's the coolest club EVER, and all you have to do to become a member is let me write our logo, Pen Fifteen, on your hand in permanent marker.
Sure!

PEN15

Ah. Bollocks.

EverEvolving

Your epidermis is showing.

hatrickpatrick

Actually speaking of Bollocks, does anyone remember the game, "Bollocks"?

The object is to say the word bollocks, then your opponent has to say it louder than you did, then you say it louder, etc. Winner is whichever one doesn't get kicked out first.

Cormac2791

merengueca wrote: »

What do you call a Spanish footballer with no legs!

Grassy ar5e:D

Our rendition was after been slide tackled to the ground as opposed to having no legs!

tayto lover

merengueca wrote: »

What do you call a Spanish footballer with no legs!

Grassy ar5e:D

What would you call a Spanish footballer with no balls ?

Senorita.

Samich

Guess what.

What

You're gay.

Guill

Walking down the lane just swingin my chain,
along comes a copper tries to take down my name,
out with my pen knife flickity flick,
Down with his trouser and off with his dick.

(Hilarious at the time, extra because i got to say dick).

Shreddingblood

What did St Patrick say to the snakes when he was driving them out of Ireland?

"Are you alright in the back there lads?"

The Big Red Button

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

eamor

Two smarties are kicking the **** outta the jellybabies...hardman mr.vicks walks in....grabs the smarties and makes bits of them...barman fruit pastile cleans up d mess,pulls a few pints and thinks jeez that mr.vicks is f***in menthol....

Radharc na Sleibhte

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh.

(hehe, i remember thinking that was gas, told every aunt uncle and cousin)

mackg

Are you a gay tied to a pole

no

Ahhhhh a gay on the loose

what's the capital of thailand

Bangkok, followed by a kick in the balls

Do you cry when your dad rides you in the ass

no

ahahahahahahah

cocoshovel

Are you gay!?
no
Does your mother know you're gay?
no.
I thought you said you weren't gay ohohohauehauheahuhe.
ok.

Hey dropped your gay card
huh?(looks down)
haahaiahhahaha

Agaysayswhat!?
what?
hahahahaha!

suarez9

Whats the worst four years of an tinkers life? 6th class!

El Siglo

What do you call a man with no left testicle?

A right bollocks!

amacachi

What's green and sits in the corner?

A bold frog.

[Deleted User]

Kid: Do you like reading?

Red haired kid: Yeah.

Kid: Have you read pubes?

joshrogan

chatterpillar wrote: »

What's brown and sticky?

Anal

FYP courtesy of Jimmy Carr.

--Kaiser--

What's the capital of Thailand?

I dunno..

Bangcock!
(bash other boy in the genitals and run like fVck)

DonJose

Memory is gone to fcuk, I can't remember what I had for breakfast but I'll never forget this one, based on a fella who lived in the flats next door.

Willie White did a sh!te,
in the middle of the night,
he saw a ghost eating toast,
halfway up a lamp post.

The Gnome

1: How do you spell hive without the e?

2: Hiv.

1: Are you positive?

2: Yeah!

1: Hweh hweh hweh

c_man

Would you ever touch a BMW?

Yeah...

AHHHH GAY! Black man's willy!

Dionysus

Two pages into a thread on primary school jokes and not one mention of

YOR MA'

Corkfeen

What's long, hard and full of seamen?

A Submarine.

Fremen

Not really a joke, but bumping your index fingers together was the hand gesture for being gay, as if gay men have sex by poking their knobs at one another.

That's hilarious.

--Kaiser--

c_man wrote: »

Would you ever touch a BMW?

Yeah...

AHHHH GAY! Black man's willy!

A related one:

Would you do a black?
- Yeah
Really? I'd do his wife!

cocoshovel

What does JCB stand for? Job Completely Bolloxed.

du Maurier

mackg wrote: »

Are you a gay tied to a pole

no

Ahhhhh a gay on the loose

what's the capital of thailand

Bangkok, followed by a kick in the balls

Do you cry when your dad rides you in the ass

no

ahahahahahahah

The first joke to me seems of a new-ish breed. I only heard that one a few years ago.

One I recall went like this:

Boy 1: If your hand is bigger [sic] than your face you've got cancer!

Boy 2: Really?! [Cue Boy 2 testing out the claim by putting hand to face]

Boy 1: [Shoves the measuring hand of Boy 2 into his face]...and probably roars "Ehhh, you don't have cancer.."