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Child Item

stupidly innocent things you did as a kid

eurokev

When I was 7 I visited crag caves, and reached over a railing when nobody was looking and touched a staligmite. A lot of clay came off onto my hand. Later in my teens I found out this would have taken decades to form just this amount and Iv been feeling guilty about it ever since:(

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Run_to_da_hills

We use to swipe Hilti type bullets from a slaughterhouse up the road from our national school and set them off by dropping a cast iron shore drain on top of them.

Karona

Oh some of these have really made me laugh.

I was out playing on the street when I was about 6 and I came across a used razor and decided to shave my face like my Dad did (even though I'm a girl) came into the house covered in blood. A trip to the hospital and a bollocking off my Mam and I was grand.

seanbmc

I used to suck the snails in the garden.

:pac:

Karona

seanbmc wrote: »

I used to suck the snails in the garden.

:pac:

Eeewwww, what did they taste like?:eek:

kylith

When I was about 10 I tightened the backs of my earrings so much that they actually went into my earlobes, earned myself a trip to hospital for that.

At about 6 I found some balloons in my parent's room and had a great time playing with them, though I wondered why they were all wet. My dad hid his condoms better after that.

Tesco Massacre

I robbed my gran's special turban-esque mass hat and wore it for a fancy dress competition. I went as Ali Baba.

Gran wasn't happy, nor was my mum who grounded me. Joke was on them, though...I won 1st prize! But seriously, RIP, Gran. That hat was the business.

Jonah42

I took an egg out of the fridge and put it on the radiator thinking that if it got warm enough it would hatch.

Aoifey!

seanbmc wrote: »

I used to suck the snails in the garden.

:pac:

I used to have "pet" snails and flies. One day I left the snails in a bath of dirty water for too long and they all dissolved

I was so upset.

Fremen

When I was about four, I helped myself to a big spoonful of flour straight out of the bag, thinking it was sugar.

Tesco Massacre

I used to think D'Olier st. was pronounced Dollyer Street. And Harcourt st. was Hardcore st.

Jesus, I was dense.

time lord

I tried to drink a mug of water through my nose. I could of been the first Irish kid found drowned in middle of a bedroom:D

El Weirdo

Fremen wrote: »

When I was about four, I helped myself to a big spoonful of flour straight out of the bag, thinking it was sugar.

Even if you'd got the correct bag, that'd still be disgusting.

seanbmc

Karona wrote: »

Eeewwww, what did they taste like?:eek:

Can't remember, I don't like snails now though

Tayla

My bedroom was upstairs and I used to have these hot chocolate sachets in my bedroom which I used to make with the hot water from the bathroom tap

:o In fairness though I didn't realise I wasn't supposed to drink it!

I also once narrowly avoided getting hit by a train but that was the mothers fault for letting me play on the tracks!!

froglet

i must have been evil.
i sprayed loads of perfume into some tablet bottle thinking id posion my mother off!!!!!:eek:

Lady Chatterton

When I was very young, I taught shoplifters were people who worked in shops and whose job it was to carry or lift bags for old people and pregnant women.

pawrick

Karona wrote: »

Oh some of these have really made me laugh.

I was out playing on the street when I was about 6 and I came across a used razor and decided to shave my face like my Dad did (even though I'm a girl) came into the house covered in blood. A trip to the hospital and a bollocking off my Mam and I was grand.

I did similar around 5/6, got in to the shopping one day before it was put away, found dad's disposable razors and decided to have a dry shave - still have a scar on my face and vague memory of blood everywhere.

Jimmy Iovine

Lad I know used to suck on pieces of coal. Bit of an odd thing to do

vampire of kilmainham

Adhamh wrote: »

I used to be given a vitamin C tablet daily, and the cover of the bottle depicted some wholesome children playing on a swing. Thinking that taking loads of these would increase my youthfulness and energy, I managed to guzzle the whole bottle of pills when my mother was in the garden.

My concerned mother quickly contacted some crowd like the National Poison Helpline for advice and was told not to worry, as the human body eventually just ejects the surplus vitamin C.

I have no recollection of this, but apparently I managed to coat the entire bathroom in the runniest layer of sh!te.

i guess your full of sh!t then

policarp

MrsD007 wrote: »

When I was very young, I taught shoplifters

ilovesleep

I made a home made miniture clothes line for dolls clothes but thought it looked very dull and needed decoration so I chopped off pieces from a blanket and sellotaped them on to make a stripey line. My mom was not impressed and I received the wooden spoon badly that day.

Pompey Magnus

When travelling with my family through the North during the Troubles we were waiting in line at a British Army checkpoint. As the soldier finished at the car ahead and started walking towards our car I decided to start to sing "The Men Behind The Wire" which I had learned off by heart.

madmammy

pawrick wrote: »

I did similar around 5/6, got in to the shopping one day before it was put away, found dad's disposable razors and decided to have a dry shave - still have a scar on my face and vague memory of blood everywhere.

did this too, i remember we had relatives visiting and i walked out of the kitchen after trying to shave.....i remember being covered in plasters after that

i also swallowed a tube of anticeptic cream when i was 3 cue a trip to the hospital and having to drink jugs of water to flush it out

on the snail thing i had to pry a snail out of my youngest daughters mouth last summer it was still alive after been chewed but his shell was in bits

El Inho

i asked the parish priest was he jewish...he had a bald patch, and i thought that the jewish skull cap thingy would cover it

murrayp4

brummytom wrote: »

At a hotel in Majorca (I think, possibly Malta) when I was five.

"Mommy, look! They left chocolate on the bed. Ooh! White chocolate!"
"Tom, no! .. Oh God"

Yeah, it wasn't white chocolate, amazingly. I had suds coming out my mouth for hours

Jesus...I thought it was sh!t & spunk on the sheets...

AskMyChocolate

brummytom wrote: »

At a hotel in Majorca (I think, possibly Malta) when I was five.

"Mommy, look! They left chocolate on the bed. Ooh! White chocolate!"
"Tom, no! .. Oh God"

Yeah, it wasn't white chocolate, amazingly. I had suds coming out my mouth for hours

Am I an utterly sick innuendo-driven pervert, or, is this post not worthy of it's own thread?

Majorca :pac:

*Sniggers*

On thread, Jennifer Higgins.

AskMyChocolate

El Weirdo wrote: »

Kids are fucking stupid.

Yet, disturbingly, nay, may I say astute in their own way. And when it comes to amorality, I never met an adult who could give them a game.

AskMyChocolate

MrsD007 wrote: »

In the weeks running up to Christmas my mam used to store bottles of whiskey, brandy, chocolates and boxes of sweets at the bottom of her wardrobe.

My brother and I found a large box of Lemon's sweets (the ones with the picture of Santa on the box) and we opened the box from underneath. Every night we would steal a few sweets from the box but the box looked perfectly intact. When we had eaten more than half the contents of the box we decided we needed to do something to make up for the lost weight, so we gathered pea gravel from the garden and started wrapping up the stones and putting them into the box.

My mother gave away that box of sweets stones as a present, I often wondered who received it :pac: :pac: :pac:

LOL. Absolute quality story. Although if my memories of those Lemon's sweets are accurate, I'd say the gravel sweets may have been the most popular. And almost certainly the least detrimental dentally.

Do you remember the rum & butter ones in the blue and white wrapper?Dentist's dream.:pac:

Cunning Stunt

When I was a kid, I filled an empty 7UP bottle with washing up liquid and water. Didn't realise how bad a prank it was. My sister came in and downed a few gulps. I can still picture her face - bg red eyes from crying and bubbles coming out her mouth. I got a serious b*llocking from my mother for that one. My defence at the time was that I meant it for my brother..:rolleyes:

YouTookMyName

Jesus reading this would make you not want to ever have kids.