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Adverse Reaction to chatting someone up/asking someone out

Dan133269

Hello all,

I thought this might be an interesting idea for a thread. Some girls, or possible fellas (although I'd say they're in the minority) react strangely to basic human nature.

I once tried to get off with a girl in a late bar in Limerick, was getting on great with her, dancing, I threw the head on her and she pulled away. Fair enough I thought, shot down but sure it happens. Then she starts desperately pushing her way through the crowded pub as quick as she could glancing back at me frantically with terror etched all over her face, as if I had tried to rape her.

Friend of mine in a pub in Galway approached 2 girls sitting on stools near the bar, said hello how's it going to 1 of them. Instantly, the other girl leapt off her seat and whacked my friend as hard as she could in the jaw. I thought it was the funniest story I ever heard.

So, good people of After Hours, entertain us with your jocular anecdotes of unrequited love and/or lust!

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jaffacakesyum

Onthe3rdDay wrote: »

Women need to learn that a guy saying hello doesn't mean that person wants to jump into bed with them. Too often you're trying to be polite and the woman (and more often her friends) think you're chatting them up.

And why do you think this happens? Because when a woman does have a nice conversation with a lad who approaches her, and then subsequently tells them that no, she doesn't want to ride him, she gets a load of abuse.

It has happened to me an insane amount of times and I've seen it a lot in Irish clubs and pubs.

That said, I'm (usually

) always polite and friendly to guys that approach me but if they assume just because I'm having conversation with them, that I want their cock, they're sadly disappointed.

looky loo

saa wrote: »

Haha I don't know what all this answer my question lark is about but its quite funny

answer my question
I said ANSWER MY QUESTION

I just wouldn't :L

lols...I know...but I'd like to know how men would tackle this one......and it appears that they have to invent wives or phantom girlfriends to do it...

FloatingVoter

looky loo wrote: »

lols...I know...but I'd like to know how men would tackle this one......and it appears that they have to invent wives or phantom girlfriends to do it...

...so the idea of a woman saying "I'm in a relationahip at the moment" when she isn't is beyond belief ? I've been at the receiving end and whether true or not it doesn't hurt (much).

py2006

looky loo wrote: »

lols...I know...but I'd like to know how men would tackle this one......and it appears that they have to invent wives or phantom girlfriends to do it...

But surely that is better than being rude or insulting?

stupidusername

how does a girl go about chatting up a guy?

7Sins

looky loo wrote: »

lols...I know...but I'd like to know how men would tackle this one......and it appears that they have to invent wives or phantom girlfriends to do it...

I don't think there's a need to do anything

If she wanted to chat I'd chat to her but it wouldn't go anywhere as it takes two to tango but if she blurted out something silly like she liked me and wanted to go out it'd be the "I think you're great but I only like you as a friend" lark

Honestly, I can't wait until I get to say that to someone....any day now

Gummy Panda

stupidusername wrote: »

how does a girl go about chatting up a guy?

Lob it into me there, boss

amacca

looky loo wrote: »

lols...I know...but I'd like to know how men would tackle this one......and it appears that they have to invent wives or phantom girlfriends to do it...

thats stage two...stage one was talking but engineering the situation so you are talking to someone else etc (subtly...not storming ay)aw

stage three is....sorry but I'm just not interested type of thing....this has only had to be resorted to once in my experience.

you have to admit its better than

no....and then turn your back

or you must be joking etc and other extreme reactions just from the initial hello.

7sr2z3fely84g5

Fck off and ride some foreigners will ye,had enough of this irish men and women are so and so...

previous user

GerM wrote: »

Mate is chatting up girl in busy bar.

Other mate standing idle attempts to strike up conversation with her mate who is also only out with one other friend.

Mate: "So what do you do?"
Girl: "No" *turns around on chair and faces other way with back to him*

thats bad form.
I would have said, well fuk you then you stuck up C*nt!

Jaxxy

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Lob it into me there, boss

This works. 100% success rate.

stupidusername

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Lob it into me there, boss

and what if you want more than it 'lobbed' into ya?

FloatingVoter

amacca wrote: »

thats stage two...stage one was talking but engineering the situation so you are talking to someone else etc (subtly...not storming ay)aw

stage three is....sorry but I'm just not interested type of thing....this has only had to be resorted to once in my experience.

you have to admit its better than

no....and then turn your back

or you must be joking etc and other extreme reactions just from the initial hello.

Agreed - by the time I'm inventing wives / girlfriends (and it only happened to me once due my not being George Clooney) - I'm at damage control. Downright rudeness is not a solution. A white lie can save the world.

Anyone

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Lob it into me there, boss

Yeah that would work on me, she'd get the good lovin' too.

looky loo

py2006 wrote: »

But surely that is better than being rude or insulting?

True....but would love to know a way of doing this without having to lie.

looky loo

Anyone wrote: »

Yeah that would work on me, she'd get the good lovin' too.

This wouldnt work on me....you'd get a slap...!..

Jaxxy

previous user wrote: »

thats bad form.
I would have said, well fuk you then you stuck up C*nt!

I'm not so sure that that's bad form tbh. If a randomer approached me in a bar and opened with "So, what do you do?" before a simple "Hi, how are ya?" I probably wouldn't be all that interested in talking to him either. Saying that I wouldn't be rude about it but I'd automatically assume (wrongly or otherwise) that this bloke was a bit of a boring snob.

MyPeopleDrankTheSoup

what... do women approach guys often? i've never been approached in my life, gotta work for my punani

jaffacakesyum

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

I'm not so sure that that's bad form tbh. If a randomer approached me in a bar and opened with "So, what do you do?" before a simple "Hi, how are ya?" I probably wouldn't be all that interested in talking to him either. Saying that I wouldn't be rude about it but I'd automatically assume (wrongly or otherwise) that this bloke was a bit of a boring snob.

+1

I don't think it's a very acceptable start to a conversation with a stranger. I would feel much more comfortable talking to a guy who came over and said "Hi, how are ya doing? Having a good night? [if in pub/club/at an event]" etc. and go from there, instead of being approached by a stranger and interrogated as to what it is I do for a living. None of your business is what I'm doing!!

Nah, I wouldn't be rude and I'd answer the guy, but some men just have zero social skills and I don't find talking to guys like that particularly enjoyable.

Dravokivich

stupidusername wrote: »

and what if you want more than it 'lobbed' into ya?

Jaysus, why don't ya just make up a list of demands.

:P

Anyone

looky loo wrote: »

This wouldnt work on me....you'd get a slap...!..

Is getting slapped an adverse reaction? Guess it depends where

py2006

georgiecasey wrote: »

what... do women approach guys often? i've never been approached in my life, gotta work for my punani

Not to us ugly fellas!

Unless I had a bulging.....wallet!! :P

(kidding)

previous user

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

I'm not so sure that that's bad form tbh. If a randomer approached me in a bar and opened with "So, what do you do?" before a simple "Hi, how are ya?" I probably wouldn't be all that interested in talking to him either. Saying that I wouldn't be rude about it but I'd automatically assume (wrongly or otherwise) that this bloke was a bit of a boring snob.

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

+1

I don't think it's a very acceptable start to a conversation with a stranger. I would feel much more comfortable talking to a guy who came over and said "Hi, how are ya doing? Having a good night? [if in pub/club/at an event]" etc. and go from there, instead of being approached by a stranger and interrogated as to what it is I do for a living. None of your business is what I'm doing!!

Nah, I wouldn't be rude and I'd answer the guy, but some men just have zero social skills and I don't find talking to guys like that particularly enjoyable.

Fair enough, that question can be a bit forward, but just saying i'm not interested instead of NO!! and blanking the guy thats just childish behaviour.

yupyup7up

Dan133269 wrote: »

Hello all,

I thought this might be an interesting idea for a thread. Some girls, or possible fellas (although I'd say they're in the minority) react strangely to basic human nature.

I once tried to get off with a girl in a late bar in Limerick, was getting on great with her, dancing, I threw the head on her and she pulled away. Fair enough I thought, shot down but sure it happens. Then she starts desperately pushing her way through the crowded pub as quick as she could glancing back at me frantically with terror etched all over her face, as if I had tried to rape her.

Friend of mine in a pub in Galway approached 2 girls sitting on stools near the bar, said hello how's it going to 1 of them. Instantly, the other girl leapt off her seat and whacked my friend as hard as she could in the jaw. I thought it was the funniest story I ever heard.

So, good people of After Hours, entertain us with your jocular anecdotes of unrequited love and/or lust!

what late bar in Limerick OP? I may be able to source the problem

jaffacakesyum

previous user wrote: »

Fair enough, that question can be a bit forward, but just saying i'm not interested instead of NO!! and blanking the guy thats just childish behaviour.

But saying "i'm not interested" is still rude and is assuming the guy is trying to get in your pants.

I don't know how I'd get out of a conversation with a guy who came up and asked "what do you do" without coming across rude...so I'd probably have to answer the guy and then make my excuses to leave later.

It's a shame really. I am a very friendly girl and I generally talk to most people but I hate the idea that some men have, that they're entitled to a conversation when the girl doesn't have any interest in talking to him (same goes for genders reversed).

How do you say "I'm sorry, I don't really want to talk to you" without coming across weird or rude

yupyup7up

georgiecasey wrote: »

what... do women approach guys often? i've never been approached in my life, gotta work for my punani

If you wanna get approached, then head to the states! every time yanks come to limerick myself or the lads get chatted up. only happens with cougars and young wans in limerick. although the yanks are wrecked

7sr2z3fely84g5

Did you see eastenders last night.

No.

Ok see ya...

previous user

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

But saying "i'm not interested" is still rude and is assuming the guy is trying to get in your pants.

I don't know how I'd get out of a conversation with a guy who came up and asked "what do you do" without coming across rude...so I'd probably have to answer the guy and then make my excuses to leave later.

It's a shame really. I am a very friendly girl and I generally talk to most people but I hate the idea that some men have, that they're entitled to a conversation when the girl doesn't have any interest in talking to him (same goes for genders reversed).

How do you say "I'm sorry, I don't really want to talk to you" without coming across weird or rude

eh, just say I'm not interested , it's a hell of alot better than outright blanking them.

looky loo

I would just say listen I'm sure you're a lovely guy but I'm not interested, I have no doubt that you will find somebody who is, have a great nite..:)

py2006

Apparently Liverpool and Newcastle girls are great! If they like they will approach YOU! They aren't as stuck up as SOME of our Irish girls!!

American women are great at this too! No attitude problems! Was in a bar with a mate of mine in NY and we got chatting to the waitress who was serving us. She wrote down her name and number and met up with us for drinks afterwards!! Just friendly stuff! Quite refreshing!