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It's damn rude to ask, damn rude

Chinasea

Was in a local restaurant with aging visiting country aunt - we are friendly with the owner; he has been in Ireland for over 30 years.

When he came to our table in his usual friendly manner I introduced him to said aunt who rudely and bluntly asked him where he was from? engaging no further then this. I told her off after but alas it fell on clueless deaf auld ears. You just don't ask but there is no getting through to this type of set in their ways Irish person.

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take everything

This feels like a troll to rile up over-PC types.
Admittedly bit better than most troll efforts here.

Chinasea

kfallon wrote: »

It's 1/25 with Paddy Power that the OP doesn't return to this thread, realises now the he/she completely over reacted and that old country Aunt is now the darling of After Hours :P

money where your mouth is

landsleaving

take everything wrote: »

This feels like a troll to rile up over-PC types.
Admittedly bit better than most troll efforts here.

I'd say if it is it's a lot worse, since it riled up absolutely no one! :pac:

Chinasea

Do you think if you were in America (and as an example) you spoke with a slight broken English accent, and, after over 30 years living in the country you would get auld American dare I say 'white' aging Aunt's etc., on a regular basis asking abruptly "WHERE are you from"??

I don't think so.

Kiera

Chinasea wrote: »

Do you think if you were in America (and as an example) you spoke with a slight broken English accent, and, after over 30 years living in the country you would get auld American dare I say 'white' aging Aunt's etc., on a regular basis asking abruptly "WHERE are you from"??

I don't think so.

Still not seeing the problem here.....

CramCycle

Monty Burnz wrote: »

I guess it smacks of just looking for a label for someone. She wasn't interested in how he came to be here, or how long, or anything else about him. She just wanted the label, it seems?

NO it doesn't

Chinasea wrote: »

Do you think if you were in America (and as an example) you spoke with a slight broken English accent, and, after over 30 years living in the country you would get auld American dare I say 'white' aging Aunt's etc., on a regular basis asking abruptly "WHERE are you from"??

I don't think so.

If you had an accent that she didn't recognise then possibly. I only moved back to Ireland 20 years ago (I lived abroad for most of my youth) and I still have people asking me what part of blah I was from? I don't get insulted because its only a question you douche.

sunflower27

OP, I get what you mean. An ex of mine's father would always come out with the 'where are you from?' line when he met someone foreign. It was a real accusatory tone - and this the guy that would say you have to eat your chinese food hot because it would kill you if you ate it cold.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Mickeroo

Chinasea wrote: »

Do you think if you were in America (and as an example) you spoke with a slight broken English accent, and, after over 30 years living in the country you would get auld American dare I say 'white' aging Aunt's etc., on a regular basis asking abruptly "WHERE are you from"??

I don't think so.

If someone has an odd accent one of the first things I do is ask them where they're from. I find it's better than guessing or making presumptions.

BluesBerry

Chinasea wrote: »

Was in a local restaurant with aging visiting country aunt - we are friendly with the owner; he has been in Ireland for over 30 years.

When he came to our table in his usual friendly manner I introduced him to said aunt who rudely and bluntly asked him where he was from? engaging no further then this. I told her off after but alas it fell on clueless deaf auld ears. You just don't ask but there is no getting through to this type of set in their ways Irish person.

Guess who's not in aunties will now!

Chinasea

Mickeroo wrote: »

If someone has an odd accent one of the first things I do is ask them where they're from. I find it's better than guessing or making presumptions.

Why do you need to know?

After 30 years in "your country" - longer than the man had lived in his country of birth surely you can see that it must be a tad insensitive, intrusive, dissmissive.

BluesBerry

Chinasea wrote: »

Why do you need to know?

After 30 years in "your country" - longer than the man had lived in his country of birth surely you can see that it must be a tad insensitive, intrusive, dissmissive.

If he was 30 years in the country why has he still broken english?

DonJose

A Latvian national who brought a rare giggle to the courtroom when he told the judge he was “from Moate”, was nonetheless banned from driving for a further three years and fined €1,000 after being convicted in Athlone District Court this week (July 13) of driving without insurance or a licence.

Before the court was Roman Hemlevskis (34), of Station Road, Moate who had been stopped by gardaí whilst driving In March near his home without the requisite documentation. When he failed to produce his papers within the allotted 10 days he was charged with driving without insurance.

Subsequently, it was discovered Helmevskis had been similarly convicted in July 2009, and was apprehended whilst still under the three-year ban handed down for this conviction.

Judge Seamus Hughes asked Hemlevskis, who defended himself, why he was driving without a licence whilst banned.

“Eh, no car, no job. No job no money,” said the heavily accented defendant.

As the judge had to simplify his discussion with the defendant on a number of occasions, he enquired as to where he was from.

“From Moate,” said Hemlevkis, to some amusement.

“I didn’t know people from Moate spoke with such a strong accent?” said the judge, before Hemlevkis told him he had been in the country for seven years, and was now out off work. He also said he was married with two children, and originally from Latvia.

The judge sentenced Hemlevskis to three months in jail for driving without a licence, and suspended it for three years. He then banned him for three years for driving whilst uninsured, and fined him €1,000 for having no insurance.

He warned the defendant that he would go to jail if he was he was caught driving at anytime over the next three years.

http://www.advertiser.ie/athlone/article/41934/a-little-laugh-cant-save-uninsured-driver

Eoin

Storminateacup wrote: »

Gotta love boards!
Old woman: where are you from?
PC Police: how dare you, you ignorant old racist.

Grab a dictionary bro, and look it the fug up. Racist.

Except that the people of boards are saying that there's nothing wrong with what she said.

Mickeroo

Chinasea wrote: »

Why do you need to know?

After 30 years in "your country" - longer than the man had lived in his country of birth surely you can see that it must be a tad insensitive, intrusive, dissmissive.

Nope not at all, don't see how being genuinely interested in a person's origins or culture could be any of those things.

Eve_Dublin

Chinasea wrote: »

Why do you need to know?

After 30 years in "your country" - longer than the man had lived in his country of birth surely you can see that it must be a tad insensitive, intrusive, dissmissive.

Did your Auntie know he was in the country 30 years? Had he disowned his roots? It could be just plain old curiosity...the Irish ask more questions than any other nationality I've ever come across and it could be misconstrued as being nosy when actually we're just making small talk...

or....she could be bigotted. You come across plenty of casual racisim among the elderly in Ireland and it's excused because "all these immigrants is so new for them and they've never experienced anything like it before" blah blah...in fairness, they've been around the block and should have learnt tact and tolerance by now.

Dudess

OP has demonstrated previously (s)he has a chip on their shoulder about Ireland and the Irish, despite being a member of said group. Probably the same here.

OP, there are plenty of sophisticated, "enlightened" Irish - you for example! - so why not focus on them instead of being so insecure about the ones you deem backward?

Eve_Dublin

Dudess wrote: »

OP has demonstrated (s)he has a chip on their shoulder about Ireland and the Irish, despite being a member of said group.

OP, there are plenty of sophisticated, "enlightened" Irish - you for example! - so why not focus on them instead of being so insecure about the ones you deem backward?

I'd say were more tolerant than many (most?) other European countries. No National Front equivalent in Ireland, I'm proud to say!

Dudess

Oh yeah and old people from any country can be set in their ways and abrupt - including old people from America or whatever country you think is superior to Ireland, OP.

mackg

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I'd say were more tolerant than many (most?) other European countries. No National Front equivalent in Ireland, I'm proud to say!

Hope there never is although I'd say a fairly smooth talker would be able gather a bit of support for something like this easy enough.

mikemac

If this thread was an attempt to get people angry and offended it has completely failed

The only person bothered at all by this is the OP

Nolanger

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I'd say were more tolerant than many (most?) other European countries. No National Front equivalent in Ireland, I'm proud to say!

There are plenty up North.

Eve_Dublin

mackg wrote: »

Hope there never is although I'd say a fairly smooth talker would be able gather a bit of support for something like this easy enough.

A bit of support but I seriously doubt as much as other European nations. There's already been failed attempts.

Casual racism is EVERYWHERE! It's laughably rife here in Madrid. I'll never forget the day my class of students (adults...bankers...educated, not that that makes a difference but goes against the stereotype of a racist) went on a rant about what smelly, dirty, wife beaters the Chinese in Madrid were. Pertty much all my other classes of students have expressed similar sentiments. What do you say to that?

strobe

sunflower27 wrote: »

OP, I get what you mean. An ex of mine's father would always come out with the 'where are you from?' line when he met someone foreign. It was a real accusatory tone - and this the guy that would say you have to eat your chinese food hot because it would kill you if you ate it cold.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Rice once it's been cooked can often still contain the Bacillus cereus strain of bacteria. These bacteria start to multiply again immediately after cooking and can cause pretty serious food poisoning. The longer the rice is left the more bacteria will be present. I don't think he was being racist, just exaggerating a bit.

{This has been a public service announcement on behalf of the FSAI}

Eve_Dublin

Nolanger wrote: »

There are plenty up North.

I'm talking about the Republic. I know plenty exists up North alright.

Kevin Duffy

I'll bet the dude went back to the kitchen saying "That nice old lady asked where I was I was from. She might have chatted about my home and how much I've loved being part of Ireland for 30 years, but the rude, withering look from her niece/nephew knocked that on the head. I hope she comes back, but the rest of them can go elsewhere".

positron

I might get slated for saying this, but I work with a lot of non-EU people, and most of them have been living here for over a decade and they are not happy when someone who they have just met asks them where they are from. It makes them feel uncomfortable as it's sounds unfriendly as it kinda, ever so slightly, insinuates that you are not from here (and not one of us etc perhaps). Call it being overly sensitive or whatever, but this is how it comes across - and this is only when then person asking is a stranger / just met.

I know an older gentleman who joined my office when he was being introduced to other staff one by one, the only question he was this exact question to non-Irish looking people, although in a very friendly way, but later on everyone said they all disliked him straight away for that (he's a nice guy by the way and still works with us). Most of the answers he got were like Lucan, Santry, Swords etc anyway!

Bevvie

OP I think you got a bit overheated about your auntie.
I mean, i couldn't see anything wrong in the question. I mean every so often when I'm in an indian, chinese etc. and the waiter is really chatty, I usually ask where they are from. I don't mean any racism by it more like I am taking an interest.
Also I think it was wrong to chastize your aunt like that. I'm sorry but a) she was your elder and tbh you could have talked to her quietly after the meal. and b) I doubt she was being racist more like taking an interest.

sunflower27

strobe wrote: »

Rice once it's been cooked can often still contain the Bacillus cereus strain of bacteria. These bacteria start to multiply again immediately after cooking and can cause pretty serious food poisoning. The longer the rice is left the more bacteria will be present. I don't think he was being racist, just exaggerating a bit.

{This has been a public service announcement on behalf of the FSAI}

Why, thank you.

Funny how he only mentioned dying from eating cold Chinese food, not rice at any other meal

Mance Rayder

If someone has an accent its normal to ask where they are from, showing interest in someone is polite and nice. Anyone offended by this is Paranoid.

[Deleted User]

I'm guessing he was Black or Asian.