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Pub Hands

James T Kirk

My thread-start = thread-locked ratio on AH is depressingly predictable; but I don't care this time 'cos I'm off to work in a few minutes.

So I'll leave this with ye:

You know when you're out for a few beers and it's your turn to go to the bar? Well say you have to get something like 4 Carlsbergs, 3 vodka and whatevers, two Guinness, 7 bags of crisps, and a White Russian.

My question is: how much of that stuff could you bring back to the table in one go, without spillage, using JUST your hands? i.e. No trays - as trays are for gays - and no lounge staff. (You may, however, use your pockets for the tasty snacks.)

I'd manage 3 pints, 1 short and all the snacks with relative ease on the first run. Would have to go back for the rest.

So, how big are YOUR pub hands?

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Turkana

Fcuk buying rounds.

discus

I've done 4 pints at once before, and the whole pub went quiet as everyone turned and watched.... It was car crash television, they knew it wasn't going to end well but they couldn't avert their eyes.

And I succeeded.

Barna77

Bring drinks to the table? I'm there to drink, not to serve

:pac:

Kevin Duffy

I sit at the bar. Tables are for girls.

ShadowGal

Im picturing you in a pub, waddling down to your table with hands and arms and pockets stuffed with bottles and bags shouting LADS ! look what i can carry !

And then tripping.

Dont be at yourself

discus wrote: »

I've done 4 pints at once before, and the whole pub went quiet as everyone turned and watched.... It was car crash television, they knew it wasn't going to end well but they couldn't avert their eyes.

And I succeeded.

Four pints is your bread and butter.

tan11ie

4 pints and 4 bags of crisps...why I'm replying to this i don't know...maybe I'm still drunk

flahavaj

Four pints I have done but you'd want to be trying that at the start of the night ather than the end of it.:pac:

A handy trick if your on large bottles with accompoany pint glasses of ice is to place the glass of ice over the top of the pint bottle. Usually leds to only minor spillage of ice/water.

No1J

If they were all for me, the lot , in with the fingers.:D

Blisterman

You'll never beat her:
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01485/waitress-beers_1485920i.jpg

jimthemental

Blisterman wrote: »

You'll never beat her:
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01485/waitress-beers_1485920i.jpg

They've handles, they're a different story. I can carry 2 pints in each hand with another wedged in the middle so that's five. Can also use my arms to carry 4 long necks wedged against my side, but only for show because you can't serve drink like that.

mbur

Blisterman wrote: »

You'll never beat her:
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01485/waitress-beers_1485920i.jpg

A quick aside. If you are ever in the Cherman Bier Hause never argue with the frau. Da photo will explain why.

Son Of A Vidic

I'm safe enough carrying four normal pints. As a rule, I'll usually move the expensive stuff first and leave the pints until last. But if it is a very big round, then I'll ask the bar staff for a tray to avoid multiple trips.

jimthemental

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

I'm safe enough carrying four normal pints. As a rule, I'll usually move the expensive stuff first and leave the pints until last. But if it is a very big round, then I'll ask the bar staff for a tray to avoid multiple trips.

What about Budweiser, it falls into both categories?

ReReginald

thank you for making my threads look in some small way as not being total bllox

DanTheMan91

I feel safe carrying 2 pints to be honest, don't want to look like a fool spilling my drinks all over the floor.

Thatnastyboy

A real man would just:

Remove his belt, put it through the front two loops on his jeans,

Tie the belt around the "bar" on the front of the bar,
proceed to drink all of the op's forementioned beverages, and eat all of the tasty snacks.
Remain at the bar, safe in the knowledge that ones belt will hold you in somewhat of an upright position, and should you need a snooze, all you would need to do is lean back a little and close your eyes.

Im sorry, my brain has turned to mush, that ^ probably doesnt make sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me.

longshanks

I can carry 11 pints in each hand and about 46 packets of crisps or peanuts (I store them in my cheeks).

Mr. Denton

James T Kirk wrote: »

I'd manage 3 pints, 1 short and all the snacks with relative ease on the first run. Would have to go back for the rest.

Oooh, check out Billy Some Mates!

Guill

I have managed 5 large bottles of cider in my hands (with upturned glasses on them), ice is for gheys by the way.

A miller in each jean pocket.

Tayto in mouth (for the missus).

If you spread your hands accross two large bottles each and push them into the 5th one, if you hold the pressure the 5th on will stay put.

The Davestator

I find the best option is to just let a roar from the bar 'give me a hand' and people will come and get them themselves thereby minimising my chances of looking like an idiot

zuroph

the four pints and three vodkas in one run, with half the snacks in pockets, then back for the rest. its a two run job.
the guinness should be just about ready when you get back from first run too.

EDIT actually, with a bit of planning, and the right glasses, this can be done in one. depends on how high the vodkas and white russian are filled.

stovelid

James T Kirk wrote: »

My thread-start = thread-locked ratio on AH is depressingly predictable

Take the hint.

Lapin

James T Kirk wrote: »

My thread-start = thread-locked ratio on AH is depressingly predictable; but I don't care this time 'cos I'm off to work in a few minutes.

So I'll leave this with ye:

You know when you're out for a few beers and it's your turn to go to the bar? Well say you have to get something like 4 Carlsbergs, 3 vodka and whatevers, two Guinness, 7 bags of crisps, and a White Russian.

My question is: how much of that stuff could you bring back to the table in one go, without spillage, using JUST your hands? i.e. No trays - as trays are for gays - and no lounge staff. (You may, however, use your pockets for the tasty snacks.)

I'd manage 3 pints, 1 short and all the snacks with relative ease on the first run. Would have to go back for the rest.

So, how big are YOUR pub hands?

Just get the bloke drinking the White Russian to carry the whole lot down on the tray.

Problem solved.;)

spider guardian

I have a russian sidekick to do all the heavy lifting. He has big hands so he can carry around 6 pints anyways. All he needs is a good chicken dinner every night.

That being said i might trade him in for this wan http://partyfail.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/funny_1188-old-drunk-lady-fail.jpg

Cill Dara Abu

In Soviet Russia drinks carry you

Chuck Stone

Carrying more than 3 non-handle pints at a time is just asking for trouble.

KilOit

Can manage 4, but if someone gets in the way and spills it on me, i get upset.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9cpbsIVkig

Standard Toaster

3 in each hand.

Abi

James T Kirk wrote: »

I'd manage 3 pints, 1 short and all the snacks with relative ease on the first run. Would have to go back for the rest.

So, how big are YOUR pub hands?

Drink the short and two pints at the bar, head back with one pint. I'm sure once you've explained this, they will understand your plight.