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Overheard in Port Láirge

MitchKoobski

Thought this might be a good thread. Post any weird/funny quotes or stories you've overheard or come across around Waterford.

Got one from WLR on the way in to work this morning.

Timmy: "We have a text here from a listener asking about the Bryan Ferry gig tonight. It says "Is this concert seated and when does it finish?"

Karen: "What!? Is it seated!? It's Bryan Ferry!"

Timmy: "Yeah this isn't Barbra Streisand or an orchestra in the park. But eh...yeah...should be over by 10:45 maybe. Standing room only..."

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Joe blogger

i overheard this once

years ago i passed a family walking

a toddler had fallen off his bike and was crying on the floor

his father stood looking over him said

its a hard life geoffrey

deise go deo

From a fairly thick Lad I know.

'Would you look at the baldy head of hair on yer man.....

seanybiker

Joe blogger wrote: »

easy tiger

all i am saying is that you cannot overhear a conversation you are actually involved in

if something is broadcast to you... you are not overhearing

ill spare you the definition of pedantic

I was only gowling with you.

I didnt hear this meself but one of the lads was telling me.

some fella years ago was sent down to the end of bunkers hill to dig a hole for something or other. Some corporation worker. Anyways he was down there fora few hours chatting away and got a bit of work done.
Eventually his boss/ manager calls down to him and see's a tiny hole in the ground.
Ah jaysus man, what where you doing, sure that hole is tiny.
Chap turns around to him and tells him, sure thats all that was in it.

Joe blogger

sat at a wrestling event (says something for the intelligence of the characters involved)

not me though i was on a journalistic fact finding mission like louis theroux

couple of seats across is a guy with his son (about 8 maybe) when this conversation unfolds

son
were you alive in viking times dad

dad
......... that.... is the stupidest question.... i have ever heard

the disdain dripping from the dads voice has stayed with me to this day

Nolanger

That's so much work it's like going up Bunker's Hill on a bike with no chain.

Joe blogger

on my mates recent wedding video we were trying to build a human pyramid

when we watched it back my mate walked past saying...........

i cant do it ive got an erection

giles lynchwood

Overheard in a pub in ballybricken a few year´s ago.
Girl to owner " jeus it´s freezín in here"
Owner replied"if you wore a knickers you would´nt be cold"

abouttobebanned

Overheard on the Quay yesterday.

"They really should have got in a glass bottomed boat."

I lol'd.

DjBryn

" my god this place really stinks of pee"

Yank tourists walkin up pi$$ lane off parnell street...

Daysha

When I was out in town Saturday night I overheard this lad in the jacks talking to the guy taking a piss beside him.

See that guy over there? Yeah that fella, see him? He's got a neck as hard as a jockey's bollix.

Apparently this is a big Waterford saying, but I've never heard it before. Either way I thought that was brilliant.

Joe blogger

heres a good one from mitch in the nightlife thread

he overheard this one at his 21st

MitchKoobski wrote: »

Quick story from my 21st, we had a DJ down from Belfast. Uncle's mate and loved the same music as me, old stuff basically.He was instructed to play classic rock, 80's music and only go as far as 1996 if he had to. He was absolutely delighted. He was trying to find The Specials, and the following occured:
Cousin: "Will you play Rhianna?"
DJ: "Don't have it."
Cousin's friend: "Do you have any Beyonce?"
DJ: "Uh nope."
Cousin: "Well what DO you have!?"
DJ: "Anything thats not shit."

jay.i.am

Overheard in the cafe in Superquinn during last winters cold snap.
Girl 1 Its fookin frezzing out.
Girl 2 Yeah i heard on the news that we are getting polar air.
Girl 1 Polar air where does that come from?
Girl 2 Dunno...Poland
Girl 1 Two Lattes please.

Siamsa Sessions

Second-hand "overheard" story: (the musician told me)

A one-man band is playing to little or nobody in a certain pub in town. A young wan wanders up and says, "Play the Lisa Brown song"

Musician: The what?
Young wan: The Lisa Brown song!
Musician: (getting vexed) The what song?
Young wan: You know, the Lisa Brown song!
Musician: (getting mad) Sorry love, I don't know what you're on about.
Young wan: You do, you know it. It's "All the Lisa Brown, the Lisa Brown, and the sky is grey..."

Joe blogger

was at a hotel having a meal at night when i heard the couple on the next table ordering their food

the waitress asked if they were going to be having any of the spa treatments the hotel provide

the woman says she is having some aromatherapy or something like that and the bloke says quite loudly

im having my hot rocks massaged

i presume he meant a hot rocks massage.

pretty much everyone around were pissing themselves laughing and the poor waitress had to leave because she was laughing so much

They Lost?! Those Losers!

DjBryn wrote: »

" my god this place really stinks of pee"

Yank tourists walkin up pi$$ lane off parnell street...

seanybiker

Wow Ireland is so cool. I never pissed at a wall in a pub before.

Me mate from the states after using the Jack's in the lantern a few years back.

dashboard_hula

I'm originally from Tipperary, but I've been living down here the last 4 years, and I'm telling you 60 miles never felt so long when I first came across these words:

Me: "....no seriously, my lack what?"

Me: "Can someone please tell me what a fúcking blaa is?"

Sometimes I forget my Tipp accent (in a building of 600 Deise, anyone would) and when I addressed my brother as "well boooy" when he called in one day, all I got was an indignant "Don't ever say that again."

looder

Not sure if this counts as Waterford or not, but taken from the overheard in WIT Facebook page:

A few lads were in the it building talking when a beour walks by..
Lad 1: "I nearly rode her.."
Lad 2: "Yeah man?!?! She's unreal, how'd you manage that?"
Lad 1: "I shifted her friend..."

kkdela6

friend at a session a while ago

me ' how're things boy'
friend: 'ya know times are tough when ya owe 4 quid to the trocaire box'

a friends mother up in kitty kiernans last saturday talking about her son

'ah sure he's mad boy! a fookin alco! always looking for reasons to drink! sure he'd celebrate the opening of a fookin envelope!'

talking about an awful lookin young wan in the forum

me: 'jaysus she's rough. would ya shift her for a fiver'
friend: 'i'd shift her out of me fookin way'

seanybiker

One of me mates I know through biking was down here for a session a few years back.
He's from enfield up in meath I think it is. Anyways. He went down to revolution with a few of the lads. Couldn't really understand the Waterford accent but anyways. Met some young one in revolutions and got chatting to her. After about 15 minutes of talking to her he just turned around and said to her. I can't understand a fooking word tour saying so could you stop talking and let me ride ya.
Cue two minutes later and poor PJ has a bouncer each side of him carrying him outta the place.

Another one of the lads down that night went over to whispers.
Went in and got a dance of one of the strippers. She put her woohoo close enough to his face during the dance. After the dance was finished he was talking to another stripper and told her that the one he got a dance off of could do with an ould baby wipe down below because she was mank.
Half an hour later he got a dance off her again. Took a big sniff and told her that was better

Joe blogger

a bunch of kids once..........

kid 1
haha yeah do you know your family reminds me of shameless

kid 2
f**k off my family aint a bunch of pikies

kid 1
no no I mean that your brother is gay

kid 2
ahhh haha that's alright then

Aoifey!

Waiting for a lecture to start on a Thursday morning, so people were discussing the previous nights events.

Student 1: "Jaysus, I saw a whole new side of Masons last night"

Student 2: "That's cause we were in Escape"

Student 1: "...I was wondering when Masons got that massive smoking room alright"

few cans?

person 1: hey lets go to escape!
everyone else: HA LOL id rather die

MitchKoobski

Me: "What was the name of yer man in town....second name was Power?"
Dad: "Well that helps."
Me: "Why?"
Dad: "At least you narrowed it down to one in a thousand Powers. Next you'll tell me his first name was Mick or Paul. It's Waterford for feck sake!"

Joe blogger

mitch really doesnt understand the word overheard does he lol

YoureSoVain

I was working in a shop years ago and overheard a mother who was trying to get her daughter (about 9 years old) to leave the shop

"Get out to fcuk ya four-eyed whore"

I'll NEVER forget it
Totally shocked

beegirl

Joe blogger wrote: »

mitch really doesnt understand the word overheard does he lol

Haha no he does not. I have visions of him putting a glass up to his TV and listening to try and "overhear" what they're saying on RTE.

giles lynchwood

Girl 1."Do you still have your hymen".
Girl 2."No,but i have the box it came in".

Hoffmans

" bilberry goats have been husteled goatnapped , they what? they been robbed off the rock i tell ya , shameless bast#rds hope they rot ih hell whoever it twas "

paddy powers....

kkdela6

after waterfords horrific loss to tipperary today in the munster final

'ya wouldn't get a baytin like that in ballybeg boy!'