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Child Item

Spanking

amywise9

I got slapped by my parents up to about 12 years of age, it was always on the bum, never too hard. It was the actual humiliating of it that hurt me more than the pain!!!
But it didn't do me any harm and was ony administered if I was cheeky.
My mam always threatened me with the wooden spoon or washing my mouth out with soap and water.
An ex gf got spanked by her mother up to 18. Yes it is true. On the bum but also across the face if she was cheeky. I witnessed on such incident and grabbed her mother's arm as she attempted to slap her a second time.
I agree that parents should discipline their children with a smack if necessary.
But they should never abuse their children with a hard spanking.
Many parents don't really have any interest in their kids these days and therefore their children have no discipline.
But that's not their fault, it is the fault of the parents.

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Princess Peach

Dudess wrote: »

We get it: you're really sexy and horny and kinky and stuff. So you say on the net anyway...

Attack the post not the poster please.

Wompa1

Got hit with a wooden spoon, smacked and pepper or tobasco on the tounge...think it worked well for me in ways..I didn't start drinking at a young age, stayed away from drugs. I know others who didn't get hit or seemingly even yelled at who have no discipline or notion of consequences for their actions so I think I'd rather be the person I am rather than who they are.

wild_cat

All of this "I didn't come home drunk", "never touched drugs" because my parents beat me is quite funny. Some people are just going to do that type of thing anyway, some of us are just pre disposed to wanting to get out of our heads.

I know plenty of people who were hit as kids that got up to bad behaviour and I think the repercussions of their actions just made them amazing at hiding at what they'd been up to.

If either of my parents had of hit me as a teenager chances are they would have gotten a punch right back.

Perhaps the reason why Irish people are like sheep and are afraid to question authority is because the majority of us were beaten at home or beaten at school? Constant fear in those that control?

I couldn't raise a child knowing that they were afraid of me, sometimes that causes un trust. If you knock a vase over by accident you don't deserve welts.

One of my earliest memories is trying to learn spellings. I had and still have a hard time spelling, my Dad lost his patience with me mixing up the letters B and D in the spelling of bed and hit my on the hand every time I got it wrong. That's one of the only few times I remember being hit.

He was old and I was the youngest in my family so I presume he was a bit old school but I don't know how I could have driven what seems like such a gentle man now to do such a thing when I was 4 years old.

And contrary to popular belief sometimes your parents can be wrong.

Wompa1

wild_cat wrote: »

All of this "I didn't come home drunk", "never touched drugs" because my parents beat me is quite funny. Some people are just going to do that type of thing anyway, some of us are just pre disposed to wanting to get out of our heads.

I know plenty of people who were hit as kids that got up to bad behaviour and I think the repercussions of their actions just made them amazing at hiding at what they'd been up to.

If either of my parents had of hit me as a teenager chances are they would have gotten a punch right back.

Perhaps the reason why Irish people are like sheep and are afraid to question authority is because the majority of us were beaten at home or beaten at school? Constant fear in those that control?

I couldn't raise a child knowing that they were afraid of me, sometimes that causes un trust. If you knock a vase over by accident you don't deserve welts.

One of my earliest memories is trying to learn spellings. I had and still have a hard time spelling, my Dad lost his patience with me mixing up the letters B and D in the spelling of bed and hit my on the hand every time I got it wrong. That's one of the only few times I remember being hit.

He was old and I was the youngest in my family so I presume he was a bit old school but I don't know how I could have driven what seems like such a gentle man now to do such a thing when I was 4 years old.

And contrary to popular belief sometimes your parents can be wrong.

Absolutely. That kind of discipline can have the opposite affect and push them more towards acting out and doing bad sh!t but in others it can make them more focused on not doing that crap. In the very least it would teach a person that there is consequences to their actions. I was only hit for a few years, I feared my father more and he never once hit me. He just yelled. My brother is into drugs, smokes and drinks. It works both ways. I didn't want the crap I would have got for doing those things so kept my nose clean. If there was no obvious consequences I would have been out drinking without a doubt.

I kind of regret not drinking from a young age anyway because I wasn't in social circles because of it as a teen. But I'm also in a much better position than pretty much all of the people I went to school with that were doing that stuff, actually not pretty much all...all of them

stovelid

o1s1n wrote: »

Kids who are bullies in school tend to be the ones who are hit most by their parents.

Tons of bullies on this thread so.

Meet me at the bike-sheds in ten minutes with your lunch money or you're getting it.

Dudess

Dudess wrote: »

There can be a scenario where the child is being impossible, every non physical disciplinary method is attempted, the parent is at their wits' end, and they give the child a light slap on the bum/leg/hand/arm - and they hate doing it and feel like sh1t about it, but there is no other way to get through to the child who is being extremely badly behaved and would get "Little ****ing bastard" comments from many here.

It's disingenuous - actually ridiculous - to liken the above to cruelty, which involves beatings, torture, humiliation and a general domestic culture of fear.

enfant terrible wrote: »

Don't think anyone was

pragmatic1 wrote: »

No ones talking about parents that occassionally give their kids a little smack when all other options have been exhausted.

Greentopia wrote: »

Don't have kids myself-child free by choice so maybe my opinion doesn't count for much- but I don't believe in parental corporal punishment in any form.
Lazy parenting and there's evidence that it does cause behavioral and cognitive problems in the child.

I would favour an outright ban as it is in other countries like Sweden, Denmark, Austria and a number of others.

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

A child misbehaving to the point where they need physical disciplining is a good sign of poor parenting. And assaulting the child is inself another.

Attacking a child does not help resolve the root cause of their bad behaviour. It simply encourages them to keep the cause hidden.

And there are many alternatives to physical assault, which are equally if not more effective.

I cannot approve of any activity that promotes violence, so smacking (nice PC name for assault) is not acceptable in my opinion.

o1s1n wrote: »

Kids who are bullies in school tend to be the ones who are hit most by their parents.

Physical abuse only leads to more physical abuse. As Crazyrabbit said, smacking your kids is a good indication of bad parenting in the first place.

Degag

Interesting how most people in here say it did them no harm and that they may give their own kids the odd slap and that people who didn't don't condone it.... would have thought it'd have been the other way around!

Pretty conclusive i guess that it really didn't do us any harm.

Dudess

Paully D wrote: »

Too many kids get away with murder these days and soft parents who don't want to take any responsibility will look to blame it on something like ADHD. Amazingly ADHD didn't exist back in the day and similar behavior was easily solved with a smack of the wooden spoon or a similar item, what a surprise :rolleyes:

Twee. wrote: »

Dragging off topic, but this **** pisses me off. ADHD is genuine. Bold kids are bold, kids with ADHD don't want to to be bold but they can't help it. How heartbreaking to hear a mother tell a child to behave, and all he can say back is "But Mammy, I don't WANT to be bold". I've lived in a home with ADHD and Tourette's, it's not always easy. My mother was heavily involved in the Tourette Syndrome Association of Ireland and I believe made a difference in so many lives. She would spend hours each day consoling mams and dads who were distraught with their kids. If the kids were just bold, they wouldn't need this help.

Absolutely. ADHD was not heard of back in the day because it hadn't been recognised. There might be cases of people constantly blaming misbehaviour on ADHD but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Also, I've no doubt the instances of people SAYING ADHD is just bad behaviour far outweigh the actual instances of such misdiagnoses. I spoke with a woman once whose child was diagnosed with ADHD and he had no friends - it was heartbreaking.
And the "kids these days" stuff here from people who are in their late teens and 20s. "Kids these days" aren't much different to kids way back through the mists of time in the... 90s. Yes, there are people who get freaked over a tiny smack which is ridiculous, but at the same time, is there really evidence that children are allowed run totally wild "nowadays"?

Sir Gallagher

Have to laugh at the posts saying;

"yeah i was smacked, i deserved it at the time"

how the hell do you remember if you deserved it at the time or not? Sure if that's the case, why don't we as grown ups not go around clatterring each other whenever we act the bollox? Because we know it's ridiculous and we also might get a smack back.

o1s1n

stovelid wrote: »

Tons of bullies on this thread so.

Meet me at the bike-sheds in ten minutes with your lunch money or you're getting it.

I'll get my da after you!

Hookah

Is it my imagination or did this thread have a poll yesterday?

CrazyRabbit

stovelid wrote: »

Tons of bullies on this thread so.

Meet me at the bike-sheds in ten minutes with your lunch money or you're getting it.

In any other situation where a bigger, stronger person slaps a smaller, weaker person because they did something the bigger person didn't like, it would be called assault & indeed...bullying.

P.S...it's 4pm...I already spent my lunch money.

Dudess

You know perfectly well it's not as simple as that, CrazyRabbit. You're being really unfair to many great parents. What about the scenario I outlined?

stovelid

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

In any other situation where a bigger, stronger person slaps a smaller, weaker person because they did something the bigger person didn't like, it would be called assault & indeed...bullying.

So you think anybody that got a tap on the arse from their parents was assaulted and bullied? I've been both assaulted and bullied before. I was also smacked occasionaly (folliowing frequent warnings) by my parents and I'm finding it hard to equate the two. The idea that a few smacks on the arse looms large in my otheriwse loving and secure childhood is bollix. Even if people wish to imply that maybe I'm subliminally brutalized on some level.

Like I say, I'm nto really a smacker myself but I will reserve the right to do so in certain situations as a last resort.

By the way, the challenge that people cannot remember being tollders is foolish. My parents told me about it. Why on earth would they lie? And I can also remember being smacked occasionaly.

Fukuyama

starbelgrade wrote: »

The best movie spanking scenes ever have to be the ones in "The Killer Inside Me" where Casey Affleck gets to spank the arses off both Kate Hudson and Jessica Alba.

The lucky, fucking jammy bastard.

Well worth downloading watching if you haven't seen it. Just keep the tissues handy as it's a very "sad" film.

I've seen it. And frankly that scene was disturbing as hell! :eek:

Nice ass though...

Edit: I'm going to go ahead and clarify that the arse I'm referring to above is not that of a child. Read my post again and thought those who don't know the film might get the wrong idea...

gargleblaster

Greentopia wrote: »

Lazy parenting and there's evidence that it does cause behavioral and cognitive problems in the child.

I would favour an outright ban as it is in other countries like Sweden, Denmark, Austria and a number of others.

This.

IMO spanking is nothing but a last ditch effort at control made by lazy parents.

Fukuyama

gargleblaster wrote: »

This.

IMO spanking is nothing but a last ditch effort at control made by lazy parents.

Banning it though is silly.

What are we going to do, arrest parents for spanking their kids? Sure, that'll do kids a lot of good.

Dudess

As a very last resort when the child is being completely unreasonable is really not lazy parenting - and it's very unfair to make that assumption/accusation.

Elle Collins

There are some kids out there in dire need of a good belt in the hole.

gargleblaster

Dudess wrote: »

As a very last resort when the child is being completely unreasonable is really not lazy parenting - and it's very unfair to make that assumption/accusation.

Yes, as a last resort, when you're too lazy to do something reasonable, you just lash out.

It's not unfair to have an opinion. I accept that you disagree with it, but it isn't an unfair one at all.

Snowie

this thread is not nearly dirty enough....

Dudess

But everything reasonable has been tried and the child is being impossible. It's not something a good parent would enjoy...

Star Lord

Dudess wrote: »

We get it: you're really sexy and horny and kinky and stuff. So you say on the net anyway...

Is it just me or did you ignore several other similar comments, and just pick on this one?

Go sit on the naughty step, or mammy might have to spank you for bullying too!

Hookah

Dudess wrote: »

But everything reasonable has been tried and the child is being impossible. It's not something a good parent would enjoy...

That's what children are sometimes. No need to hit them for it.

I would only slap a small child to teach them something is dangerous, ie. they put their hand on the cooker, or near a fire, for example.

Dudess

When every other option has been attempted, when the kid is going off the rails, it's not really as if there's a choice. It's kinda being made out here as if there are other options at that moment but "feck it I'll clatter the kid". I always thought I'd never give a child even a tip, but friends who are parents have given me a new perspective. A barely-stinging spank on the bum is not psychologically damaging. That's a disservice to kids who are actually assaulted.

CrazyRabbit

stovelid wrote: »

So you think anybody that got a tap on the arse from their parents was assaulted and bullied? I've been both assaulted and bullied before. I was also smacked occasionaly (folliowing frequent warnings) by my parents and I'm finding it hard to equate the two. The idea that a few smacks on the arse looms large in my otheriwse loving and secure childhood is bollix. Even if people wish to imply that maybe I'm subliminally brutalized on some level.

Like I say, I'm nto really a smacker myself but I will reserve the right to do so in certain situations as a last resort.

By the way, the challenge that people cannot remember being tollders is foolish. My parents told me about it. Why on earth would they lie? And I can also remember being smacked occasionaly.

How much of an impact it has is irrelevant. Being smacked by parents is considered 'normal & acceptable' and so is not traumatic. Being assaulted in the street by a stranger is traumatic, so would have a bigger effect. But again, this is not about the impact on people, it's about double standards...something that is acceptable to do with defenceless kids but not acceptable to do with adults.

If there were no good alternative to smacking, then I'd be in favour of it. But in reality it is just a lazy method of punishment that does not have any long term benefits since it doesn't teach self discipline.

Greentopia

Degag wrote: »

Interesting how most people in here say it did them no harm and that they may give their own kids the odd slap and that people who didn't don't condone it.... would have thought it'd have been the other way around!

Pretty conclusive i guess that it really didn't do us any harm.

Not really. Anecdotes /= evidence. I provided a link earlier to show that parental corporal punishment does damage a child.
Here's another scientific study from the Canadian Medical Association that backs those finding up and concludes that:

"There appears to be a linear association between the frequency of slapping and spanking during childhood and a lifetime prevalence of anxiety disorder, alcohol abuse or dependence and externalizing problems."

There are lots of other reputable studies done in various countries around the world like the American Academy of Paediatrics and the Royal College of Paediatrics in the U.K. that state similar conclusions based on their own studies.

ScumLord

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

this thread is not nearly dirty enough....

Yes someone's confused spanking with beating.

Dudess

Crazyrabbit, you know perfectly well a little smack is not an assault... And laziness isn't even relevant when a parent is at the point of exasperation and has tried everything. Most smug and self righteous tbh.

Greentopia

Dean0088 wrote: »

Banning it though is silly.

What are we going to do, arrest parents for spanking their kids? Sure, that'll do kids a lot of good.

Arresting is not the only option and should IMO only be used where there is evidence of serious assault against the child, not just a smack on the bum or whatever.
The aim of banning should not be to criminalise the parents but rather a process of educating the parents about the long term harm it can do to the child, as well as to the parent/child relationship, and show alternative ways of disciplining and punishing them where necessary; and also to empower the child by strengthening their rights so that it knows the parents are not allowed to use violence against them in any form to discipline them.

I lived many years in a country that banned corporal punishment in the home (the first country in the world to do so, Sweden) and saw and learned for myself the positive outcomes for parents, children and society in general that such a move brought about.
Have a read here if you're interested in learning more.

That's not to say that banning it stops it completely of course, I knew of a parent there who would pinch a child where it wouldn't show on it's body behind the closed doors of the family home where others can't see it, but overall it's a law that's respected by the vast majority of parents there and has reduced the incidence of physical abuse against children greatly.

And isn't that reason enough to introduce such a law here?
I think the time has come for us to do so.