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hen party present?

mazzie

hey all,
just need a little bit of help. its a friends hen at the weekend and her sister is after txting to say if we want to bring a present feel free - i hadn't even thought about a present because of the funny dress up stuff and money is tight as well. has anyone got any ideas? HELP!!!!!

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Toto Wolfcastle

A present for a hen party? I wouldn't bother tbh. Seems a bit cheeky of the sister to send that text. It might be the norm but I've never heard of giving a present for a hen party and I would be mortified if someone gave me a present at mine.

[Deleted User]

is the sister being prompted by the hen or did she feel the need to create a fuss of her own accord? the cheek of her! my god, you will all ready be spending a fortune on the hen, not to mention the wedding itself and a wedding present and now you are told to "Feel Free" to bring another present. Seriously, where does the madness stop? like the previous poster i would be mortified if someone gave one to me.

I would not even consider bringing a present, out of principle!

ElleEm

I think if gift giving was the "done thing" at a Hen party you wouldn't need to be encouraged to do it.
It sounds fairly cheeky to me!

lulubenny

At a hen party I recently attended, we were all asked by the chief bridesmaid to bring a gift that reminds us of the bride to be. We had to have it wrapped up but with no name on it and then during the meal the hen would open all the gifts and guess who got her which present. As it turned out, the bride herself was very annoyed and embarrassed that this happened, as she really just wanted to have a good night out with her friends.
Anyway, if I were you, I'd suss out what everyone else is doing and if they are bringing gifts, perhaps you could get something small and inexpensive. Maybe something personal that reminds of the bride of you and how she became your friend - it doesn't have to cost the earth but it may just mean the world!
For example - A friend gave me a gift on my wedding day for me and me alone - a little gift box - filled with "penny sweets" - it cost her no more than €5 but it meant so much to me as that was what we used to spend our pocket money on when we were kids!

janbaby

A gift at a hen! Thats the first I've ever heard of that being done. Unless she means buying something funny to bring along to the hen? Text her back and ask her what sort of gift was she thinking about!!! I find that a bit much and I'd say the bride has no idea. I'd be mortified.

Eever

Yes as far as I know, gifts are the done thing at a hens. I've only been to two, one was my sister in law. I had no idea we were supposed to bring a gift but my sister (who has been to a great many hens at this stage) had the foresight to know I wouldn't bring a gift so she had already bought one and signed the card for both of us, thank God!

The other one was my sisters hen. Knowing I'm clueless about all the wedding stuff and bridesmaids duties and such, she basically gave me two of her friends as back up as they'd know what should be done really! I was supposed to send an email out inviting everyone so one of the other girls very kindly worded it all for me and sent it to me to send on. One line in it said "please bring a small present for the bride, like a gag gift, no more than €10" I can't remember what it said specifically but basically said that though the present was to be a small joke present, it still demanded a present! I couldn't bring myself to leave that in but then I was afraid people might turn up with proper nice/expensive gifts and that would be worse. So I just changed it to something along the lines of "if anyone was thinking of bringing a gift, please try to keep it to cheap and cheerful gag gifts".

Anyway, that was a lot of waffle for basically Yes I think bringing a gift is the done thing, but no don't go spending a fortune on it.

[Deleted User]

The Done Thing? who wrote the rule book? my god every occasion has turned into such a materialistic farce, i miss the days when a person had 1 hen party based on one 1 night, none of this over the top crap that goes on now - so let me get this straight - as a friend of the Hen - you have the following expense in relation to the wedding -

Hen party accomodation
Drink expenses
hair / outfit for hen party
outfit for wedding
acomodation for wedding
Wedding present ( sizeable financial contribution possibly)
possible day of work to consider
travel expenses to wedding
lets not forget the day after party expenses

and you are expected to add to the list a present to the Hen?

the madness has to stop somewhere

Bride2012

Deleted User wrote: »

The Done Thing? who wrote the rule book? my god every occasion has turned into such a materialistic farce, i miss the days when a person had 1 hen party based on one 1 night, none of this over the top crap that goes on now - so let me get this straight - as a friend of the Hen - you have the following expense in relation to the wedding -

Hen party accomodation
Drink expenses
hair / outfit for hen party
outfit for wedding
acomodation for wedding
Wedding present ( sizeable financial contribution possibly)
possible day of work to consider
travel expenses to wedding
lets not forget the day after party expenses

and you are expected to add to the list a present to the Hen?

the madness has to stop somewhere

+1 I'd be mortified if my bridesmaid's asked anyone for this.

I'm in my late 20's and I've a serious amount of weddings coming up between my friends, my fiance's friends and our huge Irish families (I've 36 FIRST cousins). The expense of it all is incredible, no need to add to it with what is a presumed American 'done thing'.

Shellygoose

This is the 1st time ive ever heard of bringing presents to a Hen party......its not something i would never do :eek:

mazzie

cheers for the replies guys, have been to two other hens and didnt bring anything so was worried this was something new i knew nothing bout!! have the funny gag stuff but apparently this is a proper gift - €20 max! nobody has anything yet and have 24 hrs to get it, champers not allowed - head hurts from trying to think

Eever

mazzie wrote: »

cheers for the replies guys, have been to two other hens and didnt bring anything so was worried this was something new i knew nothing bout!! have the funny gag stuff but apparently this is a proper gift - €20 max! nobody has anything yet and have 24 hrs to get it, champers not allowed - head hurts from trying to think

Being so specific as to say "no champagne" and "spend €20" on a "proper" gift does make it seem like this is entirely down to the bridesmaid and the bride could be very embarrassed about it. The other two hen parties you were at that involved no pressies - were they the same group of friends? And if so, is the bridesmaid in that group? It could be a case of that it's the thing that's usually done in the bridesmaids group of friends but not yours, in which case I wouldn't worry about it. Like others have said, the whole hen party and wedding itself is costly enough without having to worry about extra presents! If you really don't want to turn up empty handed then maybe could a few of you throw a fiver in each to get her something? Or could you go the sentimental route and bring a photo of the two of you?

tan11ie

Not at all!!!! isn't it enough that your going to the hens and the wedding!!! Money is tight enough these days and I'm sure the bride to be wouldn't expect a present at all.

hazeler

This happened me once before, I was gobsmacked! I will die if this happens at my own hen in June.

I didn't want to be the only one not turing up without a gift though so I went into Glitzy Bitz and bought a photo frame, it had hen party writen on it and it came with a special pen for the hen attendees to sign on the frame. It cost a tenner and she loved it! Might be an idea for you op...

rebelchick2

Never heard of this before, sounds crazy, but If you are going to the hen, you kinda have to bring something now so you're not on your own. Maybe Penneys for flip flops for the honeymoon or something like that?

Toots

I've never heard of being asked to bring a gift to a hens, nor have I ever brought one to any I've been to. I think it's very cheeky TBH. I know for my hens my parents and sister hosted it at my family home and one or two brought a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers, but those were for my parents. If you're looking for something nice and inexpensive, there's a Yankee Candle called 'Wedding Day', I know I've seen them in Easons where all the wedding stuff is, they're around €20.

amybabes

Toots* wrote: »

If you're looking for something nice and inexpensive, there's a Yankee Candle called 'Wedding Day', I know I've seen them in Easons where all the wedding stuff is, they're around €20.

Great Idea!

rainbowtrout

I've only ever been to one hen where this happened so it's definitely not the norm. Was very pissed off over it too. Got a text from the bride's sister who was also the bridesmaid asking us to bring along a present to the hen if we wanted. From the text it sounded very casual. Was already broke from a load of weddings and hens that summer along with all the costs involved in them all and decided enough was enough, I couldn't afford yet another present. Bridesmaid had decided that evening that she was going to put all the presents into a bag so the hen could open them all together and anonymously. It didn't turn out that way. After the meal we were all gathered around in a circle where the hen had to answer questions about her fiance - we were all given a random question each. Once she answered her question you gave her the present. I didn't have one so I felt awful. There were two other girls on the hen who wrote poems and read them out, but both said before they read them out said 'I couldn't afford a present so I have this instead, I hope it's OK'

It might only be a couple of euros for yet another present, but where does the madness stop? I felt very uncomfortable that evening for a good while afterwards because I didn't buy a present because I simply couldn't afford one.

LeeHoffmann

the bm/sister should have known better. hope the bride gave her a telling off. poor you! I wouldn't expect to bring a present either - it's nuts.

whatdoicare

Very cheeky on part of BM. Don't you think yr spending enough on her without that?

[Deleted User]

I've never heard of this, and there is only one friend left of mine left to get married so I've been to many a hen!

I think that's downright cheeky!

The only thing that I was ever asked to do for a hen, was find a picture of me with the bride, and then write a nice message to her on fancy paper and the bridesmaids made her a scrapbook out of all the little messages. She only had her very close friends at the hen so it was really lovely. Never a gift though.