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Dry Spell

Phat Cat

.......as in how long have you gone without sex and do you think that your circumstances at the time had anything to do with it?

I was just discussing this with a few mates in the pub at the weekend and we all admitted to having various periods of dry spells throughout our lives, most for months but some for years.

I'm in my mid-thirties now but way back in my mid-twenties I went three whole years without sex, not for the lack of trying mind you. I then decided that I needed a change of scenery and went to London to work for a few years and actually had more sex that I ever imagined I would, I think I managed to treble the number of sexual partners over there in only a few years. So I think my circumstances back then ie: living in Dublin, probably held me back some what. Oh, and for the record I'm married now, not that that means that I'm getting regular sex or anything

So patrons of The Gentlemen's Club, how long have you gone without sex and do you think circumstances (ie: unemployment, lack of a social circle, crippling shyness etc) played a part in it?

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stupidusername

donfers wrote: »

err it takes two to tango

sex = not solely for the purpose of making a woman happy, nothing worse than a woman lying there like a sack of spuds expecting you to rock their world, puts me right off

also maybe you've just had very bad luck with your sleeping partners

Of course it takes two, what's that got to do with anything?

probably has been bad luck. but no need to be so defensive. of course lying there like a sack of spuds is the wrong way to go, but where did i say I do that?

never said it was solely about making a woman happy, but it's also not solely about making the man happy, and that's what I was saying. every man seems to think it's all about them. but you're probably right about the bad luck. haven't been with enough to say it's widespread, yet.

of course if I was **** at it all myself I wouldn't expect much from the guy, but again, where did i say that?? I'm not going to defend myself to a stranger, I know what I'm like. I was simply saying that almost every man i've been with (which is a low enough number) has been selfish.....

parker kent wrote: »

In terms of one night stands, I don't think either the man or women make each other happy. It's normally drunken, selfish sex. That's not a recipe for Double-O Heaven.

I think you only have good sex once you get the know the person and their individual likes. If I did the exact same things with 2 different women, one might love it and the other might hate it.

I also think women sometimes overlook that sex might not actually be any good for a man either.

...and this includes boyfriends.... have only had one drunken ONS and i hated it for many reasons. I would agree that getting to know the person is part of it, but it'd be my opinion that it shouldn't be based on how well you know them. I mean, what's the point doing it if you're not enjoying it. it's probably going to be said that i could've spiced things up if i was bored etc, but if he's into what he's doing i'm not going to stop him and say how about you do this for me...

i've only had one experience where I thought it wasn't good for him, and that was the messy drunken ONS.

but i don't mean this to start a discussion on all that... bit off topic.

donfers

stupidusername wrote: »

every man seems to think it's all about them.

rest of your post is fair enough but that part is just ridiculous

beks101

stupidusername wrote: »

Yeah i was just going to say women maybe able to get sex when they want it but it doesn't mean its going to be good

Yeah I'd agree with this. Sure, women would have an easier time getting no-strings sex if they want it, but IME there are far fewer women who actually want NSA than men. The women who actually want to find something more meaningful can have a harder time, especially in early - mid 20s, when a majority of single males just want to fcuk around. So ultimately it balances out in my opinion.

I'm a woman, I've never had any problem getting laid when I'm in the mood but most of the one-nighters I've had have been crap to mediocre sex, little regard for my satisfaction (and I'm not a sack of spuds type) and a world of awkward the next morning...a night full of me-time would often have been more satisfying. So, easier, maybe, but that's not necessarily a good thing.

Poor Craythur

parker kent wrote: »

Double-O Heaven.

That is all.

Knasher

Dry spell??? I'm living in a fecking desert.

Dravokivich

Phat Cat wrote: »

So patrons of The Gentlemen's Club, how long have you gone without sex and do you think circumstances (ie: unemployment, lack of a social circle, crippling shyness etc) played a part in it?

Just short of 3 years now...

...I'm a lazy git.

Poor Craythur

Dravokivich wrote: »

Just short of 3 years now...

...I'm a lazy git.

Oh my God, Drav, get laid, FFS!!! :eek::p

stupidusername

donfers wrote: »

rest of your post is fair enough but that part is just ridiculous

It may be ridiculous but its my experience so can't really argue.i've had sex with 4men so yeah its not very fair to be so general.can't wait to be proven wrong

Oh and just in response to dravs post there-are you just not bothered or what? I mean IME if you're too lazy to do somethin its because you dont really want to do it. Oh and drav you're first on my love list

Dravokivich

Poor Craythur wrote: »

Oh my God, Drav, get laid, FFS!!! :eek::p

To be honest, I don't really see the point in doing it for the sake of doing it. Which is all it's been when ever I've done it. Found it completely meaningless and had no desire for it at all.

I'm in no rush to chase "it" down...

S.U.N:

As I said... the sex itself isn't really what I'm looking for...

Poor Craythur

Dravokivich wrote: »

To be honest, I don't really see the point in doing it for the sake of doing it. Which is all it's been when ever I've done it. Found it completely meaningless and had no desire for it at all.

I'm in no rush to chase "it" down...

S.U.N:

As I said... the sex itself isn't really what I'm looking for...

Fair nuff!

parker kent

Poor Craythur wrote: »

That is all.

Thank you very much, that line is copyright of Parker Kent :pac: I thought it had slipped under the radar!

Oh and I just read my posts again, I sound like a mildly ONS obsessed person. They are actually crap, had 2 but wouldn't do it again. Possibly a controversial opinion for a man, but I'd rather no sex to bad sex.

parker kent

stupidusername wrote: »

...and this includes boyfriends.... have only had one drunken ONS and i hated it for many reasons. I would agree that getting to know the person is part of it, but it'd be my opinion that it shouldn't be based on how well you know them. I mean, what's the point doing it if you're not enjoying it. it's probably going to be said that i could've spiced things up if i was bored etc, but if he's into what he's doing i'm not going to stop him and say how about you do this for me...

i've only had one experience where I thought it wasn't good for him, and that was the messy drunken ONS.

True, but everybody should be able to talk before and after and do enough that both people are kept happy. It's not like a race or one single thing. I read this post the other day and it pretty much summed up what I think.

The_Morrigan wrote: »

Sex is not one act, it is the whole experience from teasing to foreplay to penetration and various repeats of actions before the bliss of closeness after both parties have collapsed in a heap of exhaustion.

stupidusername

Yep but again it depends on how receptive your partner is.

Poor Craythur

parker kent wrote: »

Thank you very much, that line is copyright of Parker Kent :pac: I thought it had slipped under the radar!

Oh and I just read my posts again, I sound like a mildly ONS obsessed person. They are actually crap, had 2 but wouldn't do it again. Possibly a controversial opinion for a man, but I'd rather no sex to bad sex.

From my experience, ONS can be crap OR they can be great for uninhibited experimentation.

If they're of the drunk variety, they're always crap. But if not, they can be fun!

parker kent

stupidusername wrote: »

Yep but again it depends on how receptive your partner is.

Well yeah I should have added that, kinda assumed that since I was thinking that in an earlier post, everybody else would be thinking it :pac:

Some people suit your style, some don't. And with some, it comes, but all in it's own good time.

parker kent

Poor Craythur wrote: »

From my experience, ONS can be crap OR they can be great for uninhibited experimentation.

If they're of the drunk variety, they're always crap. But if not, they can be fun!

Must arrange some of option B for myself....:pac:

entropi

Longest dry spell was over 6 years...yes you heard me correctly! Still a dry spell going on now, dwarfed in comparison to that other one...

Partizan

Master of Nothing wrote: »

Longest dry spell was over 6 years...yes you heard me correctly! Still a dry spell going on now, dwarfed in comparison to that other one...

Get a hooker mate...

seriously

Partizan

I'm on a bit of a dry spell meself for about 6 months, one of my longest. Last g/f dumped me rather unceremoniously just before Xmas and it hurt like hell. It took me a few weeks to get my **** together and my confidence back. Since then I have dated 3 women but nothing came of it. 1 admitted to being a bit of a bike, another was an emotional car crash waiting to happen while another I genuinely liked but her being a single mum put the kibosh on things. I met 2 of the 3 online after I decided to give the online thing a go.

I have always found it easier to score abroad. I lived for a period of time in EE and most weekends my arse was going up and down like a fiddler's elbow. The dial on the White God factor-ometer just went off the scale. However I found it alot harder to get a sniff of anything here in Dublin. That said I'll be heading off East again soon so the drought will end. Back to Candyland.

Dravokivich

Partizan wrote: »

Get a hooker mate...

seriously

Partizan wrote: »

I'm on a bit of a dry spell meself for about 6 months, one of my longest. Last g/f dumped me rather unceremoniously just before Xmas and it hurt like hell. It took me a few weeks to get my **** together and my confidence back. Since then I have dated 3 women but nothing came of it. 1 admitted to being a bit of a bike, another was an emotional car crash waiting to happen while another I genuinely liked but her being a single mum put the kibosh on things. I met 2 of the 3 online after I decided to give the online thing a go.

I have always found it easier to score abroad. I lived for a period of time in EE and most weekends my arse was going up and down like a fiddler's elbow. The dial on the White God factor-ometer just went off the scale. However I found it alot harder to get a sniff of anything here in Dublin. That said I'll be heading off East again soon so the drought will end. Back to Candyland.

er... follow yer own advice?

[Deleted User]

Master of Nothing wrote: »

Longest dry spell was over 6 years...yes you heard me correctly! Still a dry spell going on now, dwarfed in comparison to that other one...

6 years :eek:

Partizan

Dravokivich wrote: »

er... follow yer own advice?

Absolutley. I have friends over there so I'm off next month.

Though seriously, 6 years. You must have a right forearm on you like Popeye.

parker kent

I don't think 6 years counts as a "spell"!

Phat Cat

6 years is probably the longest I've heard of, but I sure there are lots of people in the same boat for what ever reason. I don't think getting a hooker is the answer though! Maybe a singles holiday would do the trick?

Partizan wrote: »

I have always found it easier to score abroad. I lived for a period of time in EE and most weekends my arse was going up and down like a fiddler's elbow. The dial on the White God factor-ometer just went off the scale. However I found it alot harder to get a sniff of anything here in Dublin. That said I'll be heading off East again soon so the drought will end. Back to Candyland.

That's interesting because when I moved I instantly broke my dry spell and things kicked on from there. Btw I assume EE means Eastern Europe coz the 'White God factor' & heading East sounded like Asia.

So what is it about Dublin (possibly Ireland?) and lack of sex? People in most other countries are constantly at it like rabbits but it still seems like people can take it or leave it here............or quite simply can't get it.

beano345

Phat Cat wrote: »

6 years is probably the longest I've heard of, but I sure there are lots of people in the same boat for what ever reason. I don't think getting a hooker is the answer though! Maybe a singles holiday would do the trick?

That's interesting because when I moved I instantly broke my dry spell and things kicked on from there. Btw I assume EE means Eastern Europe coz the 'White God factor' & heading East sounded like Asia.

So what is it about Dublin (possibly Ireland?) and lack of sex? People in most other countries are constantly at it like rabbits but it still seems like people can take it or leave it here............or quite simply can't get it.

i think its a hangover from the catholic upbringing sex is still very much taboo in ireland! ive got friends who have gone 6+ years on a dry spell and its not because their ugly they got plenty of action before! maybe its the effort thats required here where in other countries its just a natural thing "i like you,you like me lets go" kinda thing.

DazMarz

Longest I ever went was about 6 months once when I was in my teens. It was totally me, I was in a bit of a depression and wasn't bothered with anything at all.

Currently, it's been about 2 weeks since I did the horizontal mambo, and even then it was just a little fling. I'm not as actively hunting for sex as I was when I was in my late teens, but I still won't turn it down, obviously!!!!

Poor Craythur

Master of Nothing wrote: »

Longest dry spell was over 6 years...yes you heard me correctly!

Dude. Seriously, dddduuuudddde. That must've been rough!

Partizan wrote: »

one admitted to being a bit of a bike

You complain about the lack of action in Ireland but then come out with stuff like this. :rolleyes: Women in this country who sleep around are so often spoken of derogatorily, so can you blame them for being reluctant to do so? Were the women you had your weekend encounters with in other countries "bikes"?

beano345

Master of Nothing wrote: »

Longest dry spell was over 6 years...yes you heard me correctly! Still a dry spell going on now, dwarfed in comparison to that other one...

have you considered emigrating seriously? a friend of mine was nearly 6 years and then a month ago went to the uk for the weekend.first night their and he ended up in a threesome! im emigrating myself and to tell you the truth i wont be missing the dating scene here:D

Emme

Phat Cat wrote: »

6So what is it about Dublin (possibly Ireland?) and lack of sex? People in most other countries are constantly at it like rabbits but it still seems like people can take it or leave it here............or quite simply can't get it.

I don't know, maybe it's the religious factor or because we're too scared of what people will think of us if we admit we want it. From what I can see most people, both male and female, would rather get locked on a night out and then when they're full of Dutch courage approach someone for a drunken shag. Which we all know will probably be a disaster. If women get too many of those they won't be up for anything in a hurry.

Basically, if men and women don't TALK to each other on nights out (not unless they're totally tanked up that is :rolleyes:), how are they supposed to get together any other way?

The double standard seems to apply here as well - if a woman sleeps with a lot of guys she's a slut, if a guy does the same he's a legend. There's too much messed-up thinking around sex in this country. Maybe it's because we're such a small country we have a subconscious fear that we're all related and that's why we're happier to indulge when we travel. I don't know. What I do know is that my best experiences have been with foreign guys. I'd emigrate if I could (a trip abroad earlier this year was a real eye-opener and made me feel like a woman again) but unfortunately I can't. In this country I feel about as sexy as a refuse truck.

There's the f*buddyculture which is ok if that's what you want, but lots of people seem to think that such an arrangement gives them carte blanche not to respect the person they're sleeping with. I think that's a hangover from our repressed Catholic culture. Then again you can't blame Catholicism, a friend has had such an arrangement with a French guy for the best part of a year and he treats her like a queen. France, like Italy, is a Catholic country and they don't seem to have the problems we do.

Sex isn't seen as a normal human need in this country, it's something you either do when you're in a relationship (if either party hasn't let themselves go entirely to the point of being repulsive once they've "bagged" a partner) or when you're too drunk to take responsibility for your actions.

Poor Craythur

Emme wrote: »

Sex isn't seen as a normal human need in this country, it's something you either do when you're in a relationship (if either party hasn't let themselves go entirely to the point of being repulsive once they've "bagged" a partner) or when you're too drunk to take responsibility for your actions.

QFT.

Basically we all just need to get the fúck off this island!

Men can get laid easier.

Women can get laid without fear of being labelled. It's a win-win situation!