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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

Jaafa

I saw my fair share of these before I deactivated my account.

One of the worst came from an american 'friend'(?) of mine.

She said and I quote:
"Ughhh so stupid...I have to get a visa to go to south america! I mean seriously isn't this the UNITED sates! Ahhhhh....Worst state ever!"

She was promptly removed from my friends list.

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Comments

watna

The Shtig wrote: »

Is her name Jean Byrne by any chance? :P

It is not - but nice to know there's a few of these people floating around.

Shoelaces

Women with young children...

The incessant hourly updates, The endless pictures, the quotes of their "hilarious" infant ramblings, their daily activities, their diet, their style...

A mother i know that has two children is guilty of all above, here is a collection from today starting with the earliest...
Harvs has had 2 bowls of cheerios and now nicking dads!

Chilling after he was just sick over us both

Please someone take my miserable son away from me and bring him back when he's happy! Can't cope with this constant whinging argh!!!

I just wana sit down and do nothing. Is it bedtime yet?

Harvs top is getting too short in the arms gutted cus I love it. He's stopped with the whinging woo. Now he's eating cheerios again! 4th bowl today lol. He can have some spaghetti in a bit and then bath, teeth, milk and bed yippee done nothing today but such a hard day

Gona get Harvey this wicked toy I seen in asda tomorrow don't know what it's called but it's so cool. Thing is I'm gona have to fill my car up with petrol to go so gona cost £65 before I even get there

Well if u of listened to me then u wouldn't of broke ur phone! Kids!!!

(My personal favorite):
To stressed to speak argh!!!

Oh what a fab ****ing end to the night! Laptop charger was sparking!!! Just stopped all electric to it and binned the charger so now I got no charger for the laptop. Woo let's celebrate NOT!!! Fml!!!

Im no expert on t' puters but id say she ran out of battery as her insights cease. It got a little bit Louise Woodward there near the start but im sure there will be nothing on the news tomorrow.. yep, pretty sure there will be nothing on the news.

Rabies

I won a free ipad2 by clicking this link. You can too.

Don't worry, don't just target stupid people and spam everyone's walls.

tightropetom

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/36f225c63d/annoying-facebook-notifications

This vid from Kenny from Galway should probably sum up how you all feel

Aoifey!

tightropetom wrote: »

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/36f225c63d/annoying-facebook-notifications

This vid from Kenny from Galway should probably sum up how you all feel

The voices just annoyed the crap outta me.

spinandscribble

you know those really patronising statuses that go
"most of you will not care/be brave/be kind enough to do this but if you are and wanna support bunnys aids, autism, the fight against cancer ect please change this to your status update"

I mean seriously.... if I actually care about something i'd actually do something not just repost nonsense so I can feel falsely superior for a moment.

sdanseo

Anything with txtspk. Seriously, if you're that lazy that you aren't arsed typing a few short words then you don't deserve to be allowed access to the internet.

(as an aside: I can understand it with SMS years ago but nowadays texts are cheap or free and phones dont limit you to 160 characters, they just send it as two texts.)

Aoifey!

sdonn wrote: »

Anything with txtspk. Seriously, if you're that lazy that you aren't arsed typing a few short words then you don't deserve to be allowed access to the internet.

(as an aside: I can understand it with SMS years ago but nowadays texts are cheap or free and phones dont limit you to 160 characters, they just send it as two texts.)

The only time txtspk is okay is if you're out of the country and paying a lot for texts.

My sister's 14 and Every Thing On Her Facebook is txtspk and starts with a capital letter. Her friends are even worse for it.

take everything

neveah wrote: »

Please copy and paste this as your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone. If you don't know anyone, or even if you've heard of anyone who doesn't know anyone, then do still copy this. It's important to spread the message even if no one knows anything about anyone. Oh, and the hearts. ♥ ♥ ♥ For Christ's sake, don't forget the fe****g hearts. ♥ ♥ ♥

The only really good reason i can think of to have a FB account is to post pisstakes like this.

jumpin jaysus

abouttobebanned wrote: »

There's a couple on "my Facebook" that talk to each other though their Facebook statutes.

"had a great weekend darling, I love you so much."

"food luck tomorrow babe xxxx "

You live in the same fcukong house...what are you doing????"

maybe its josef fritzl

sandmanporto

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

I f'in HATE those status updates along the lines of...
Repost this if you have a Nanny in heaven... If you have a child and you are the greatest mummy... If you have the best daddy who was always there.... If you have a brilliant sister who is also your best friend... Repost this if you know someone who is passed away but is looking down on you

Seriously. F*CK OFF!!

Your boards username suits u. I find those status' tedious but i ignore them! You shouldn't get pissed off with them

sandmanporto

i get pissed off with idiots talking about how hungover they are or what a great weekend they had! I always post a funny clip that mite amuse my friends.

sdanseo

Aoifey! wrote: »

The only time txtspk is okay is if you're out of the country and paying a lot for texts.

My sister's 14 and Every Thing On Her Facebook is txtspk and starts with a capital letter. Her friends are even worse for it.

Oh God Tell Me About Its Like Punctuation On Steroids OMG OMG

Guill

Anyone else watching desperate housewives?I mean whats with 'redhead one'?

Pdfile

deleted mine on the basis that it was so full of ****e i actually couldn't cope ( internetz is serious business ) now every day i asked do i have a FB account...

no, i don't have a FB account; don't have a life either... but still, i don't do social networking.

Raze_them_all

Aoifey! wrote: »

The only time txtspk is okay is if you're out of the country and paying a lot for texts.

My sister's 14 and Every Thing On Her Facebook is txtspk and starts with a capital letter. Her friends are even worse for it.

Pics or gtfo

Someone has to take over for snyper and his ways

tman

Not going to go into much detail, but a friend's girlfriend posts a ridiculous amount of personal ****e on facebook... I knew their relationship was in major trouble before the poor ****er even did!
The breakup was horrible... Was like watching a live feed of a train wreck!

If you've got deeply personal stuff to air, for the love of god just talk it over with all parties involved and don't ****ing post it on facebook!!!

Raze_them_all

tman wrote: »

Not going to go into much detail, but a friend's girlfriend posts a ridiculous amount of personal ****e on facebook... I knew their relationship was in major trouble before the poor ****er even did!
The breakup was horrible... Was like watching a live feed of a train wreck!

If you've got deeply personal stuff to air, for the love of god just talk it over with all parties involved and don't ****ing post it on facebook!!!

Massive ****in plus one.

People who post up how **** there lives are etc just need to piss off the internet whith their Personal Issues.

Apanachi

A day in the life of my cousin - unemployed (but not actually looking for work) he writes sh*te on a half hourly/hourly daily basis, he starts of with stuff like

"Good morning" (at about 1pm) followed by:
"Need coffee",
"coffee tasted great, ready to star the day now"
"Bored"
"watching *insert DVD title* now" (WTF, why are you on Facebook if you're watching a DVD",
"*insert DVD title* was a great film, everyone should watch it, gonna watch *insert DVD title* now",
"So bored what to do today" (how about getting up off your ar$e and looking for a job
"
"Need a fag"
"What to do???" (look for a job maybe)
"Still bored"
"anyone know any good jokes, I need a good laugh"
"going to take a shower now"
"feel real refreshed after my shower"
"bored.com"
"watching *insert DVD title* now"
"bored, anyone fancy going for a pint?"
"fag then bed"
"off to bed now"
"Nite all"
"WTF, can't sleep" (like going on FB is going to help that!!)
"Wish I could go to sleep"
"still awake"
"really wish I could get some sleep"
OK, still awake, what a load of balls"
"going to smoke a fag"
"Going to try and sleep again"
"sleep won't come"
"Time for another fag"
"OK, round 4, will try to sleep again"
"Arghh SILL awake"

which is then followed by
"morning peeps" a few hours later - and it starts all over again...

(every now an then he'll throw in a "Its funny how the people who said they would always be there for you never are!!!!!!" or a "sick of being treated like a door mat" for good measure...

...and I am sorry to say, this is not in the slightest bit exaggerated

Skerries

Facebook = not want

Einstein

abouttobebanned wrote: »

I also hate the crap like:

"I know my real friends will repost this...April is autism month...bla bla..."

It is? Should I get my autistic cousin a card and a gift voucher? Cause a fcukin Facebook status ain't gonna help him.

"today is sisters day"

No it fcuking isn't.

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

I f'in HATE those status updates along the lines of...
Repost this if you have a Nanny in heaven... If you have a child and you are the greatest mummy... If you have the best daddy who was always there.... If you have a brilliant sister who is also your best friend... Repost this if you know someone who is passed away but is looking down on you

Seriously. F*CK OFF!!

+1 billion.

Fcuk off with your facebook chain mail.

c*nts

Vicxas

"I didnt fill in the census coz i dont live in a house, i live in an apartment".....

For realz yo.

_feedback_

This guy has great comedy value even though he doesn’t realise it. He is/tries to be one of these “drive together, die together” boy racer geniuses.

Status Update (along these lines): Corolla gone - Out wit d old – in wit d new. Got nu project and dis is gonna be big. Gonna be bigger – louder – faster. Dis is gonna be the best project eva.

Comment: What u get?

His comment: Another Corolla – different colour.

fakearms123

"My car needs to be fixed today so I have to take public transport...eww... FML!"

Is your life seriously that bad?

I don't mean to go all Trócaire up in this shizzle but there are familes in f*ckin squanders in some wastelands scattered around the world, I wish a person from north-east of Japan could read these FMLs from some of the youth of Ireland, a facebook status via iPhone from Fintan "My itouch isn't working so now I have to go onto facebook with my iphone, this recession sucks! FML"

Sulmac

I don't know if it's just me, but I hate those people on Facebook who don't know the difference between there/they're/their and your/you're.

Also, we all have that one melodramatic female as a friend who posts statuses such as, 'If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.' They're usually the same person who tags themselves in every photograph but says 'OMG, I'm so ugly in this pic!'

Seriously, piss off.

Sykk

I saw one the other day that I thought was truly horrifying... It went something along the lines of:

"Goodbye mammy, last mothers day with you was great and you will always be in my heart"..

The girls mother had just died and the first thing she done was went onto facebook to post about it.. I wouldn't physically be able, nor would fcuking facebook even come into my head if that were me.. Find it pretty disturbing tbh.

bohsboy

watna wrote: »

3) My OH's ex step-sister. She's studying beauty therapy but put on her facebook taht she was studting to become a doctor of holistic medicine. All her posts were about how much medical stuff she was studying and she has a friend whose just become a doctor and kept telling him she knows how hard it is because of her year long course.

LOL, I know a gimp like that. She's been unemployed for seven years. But for the last year she's updating us all on her quest to become an accountant with her one year "Introduction to Bookeeping" CE course that she was forced to go on or else they'd cut her off the dole.

Dwellingdweller

Stuff like this.
"Bleh..."
Attention seeking b.s. I think its a bad sign that one of my best friends posts **** like this up all the time.

GavRedKing

From one of my friends a few weeks back, " F**king hate < insert pub name > cant wait to get out of here and go clubbing."

In the club, " Why is < insert club name > always full of cnuts and idiots. People are so full of ****e."

4AM , " What a night, one of the best ever. "

CHealy

Dwellingdweller wrote: »

Stuff like this.
"Bleh..."
Attention seeking b.s. I think its a bad sign that one of my best friends posts **** like this up all the time.

If its really your best freind, you really shouldnt have a problem telling them to stop with the **** posts.