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Funny Election Quotes

ClarePeople

I'm compiling a list of the funniest quotes from General Election 2011 in Clare. We've got some classics already but if anyone has heard a candidate say something particularly hilarious or off the wall please pass it on. Cheers

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Insect Overlord

This thread is ridiculous. BnB, the OP was looking for funny quotes, not for pages and pages of political debate.

Thread locked.

Lady Chatterton

ClarePeople wrote: »

I'm compiling a list of the funniest quotes from General Election 2011 in Clare. We've got some classics already but if anyone has heard a candidate say something particularly hilarious or off the wall please pass it on. Cheers

If you ask me the funniest quote of the election came from Patrick Wallace, Returning Officer for Clare, when he said

"Timmy Dooley is deemed to be elected WITHOUT REACHING THE QUOTA"

BnB

Carry wrote: »

Glad I made you laugh. That's part of my job to summarise an incident to make it understandable, short and funny. Success!

Turn on your Sarcasm detector

Carry wrote: »

See above re my question. To recite the whole conversation word by word would have you falling apart with boredom.

I expect from canvassers and politicians (one of the guys is a local councillor, the other is someone I know who is either painfully shy or plain stupid, but definitely clueless) that they know their stuff and their agenda.
I asked a bit more qualified questions about politics in general, because I'm definitely more interested in political visions than in local backgarden-politics. The latter is imo one of the downfalls in Irish politics.
The councillor I know too. He's a local builder with no idea whatsoever, apart from ripping off people. And he just fell off the nomination for FG for the GE. Thank god! Imagine him trying to run the country!

1) I'll say it again. If you asked a specific question, you might have go some answers. It doesn't have to be on a local issue. I just picked Shannon Airport as an example. But if you ask a generic "What are ye going to do to sort out this mess" then you will get a generic response.

2) We are getting close to the truth here. You didn't open to the door and see two random canvassers. You saw two people that you had preconcieved notions about and that you did not like. You had decided before they said anything that one was "plain stuiped" and the other is a local builder who spends his life "ripping people off". No matter what they said to you, you were not going to give them a chance.

Carry wrote: »

Had I asked them about the future of Shannon Airport, I guess the answer would have been: Aah shure, the airport, isn't it an important thing for us all, with the tourists and such. Sure we do the best we can...

You didn't ask about Shannon Airport so you are in no position whatsoever to comment about what their answer would/might have been. Lets deal in the facts here. Lets not hang them on the preconcieved notions you had on the two lads.

Carry wrote: »

Now here's a frustrated canvasser talking.

Not at all. Quite the opposite. It was the first time I ever went canvassing. I found it was a hugely (not sure what the best word is here) educational, entertaining, eye opening.... experience.

I would take an awful lot from it. Mainly I was very surprised at how much genuine interest people at the doors have in politics. I thought the majority of people would just take the leaflet, be polite and let you go. But an awful lot of people wanted to engage you. Sometimes just to to chat about politics in general, sometimes to find out more about the canditate, sometimes to challenge you on the partys policies. I had a lot of people tell me straight out that they wouldn't vote for my canditate. Nothing wrong with that at all. We debated it and I often left the door a better informed man. I like to think I might have won a few over as well.

You you be surprised what you learn when you engage with and listen to real people.

Carry wrote: »

No, they weren't trying to be polite, just smarmy-slobbery. They know me and have never been especially polite and always disliked my doggie. Especially they trying to be cosy-posy about my dog was disgusting.

You have already made it quite clear that you just disliked the two guys. Nothing they said was going to make you happy. Would you have rathered if they told you that your dog was a rotten flea atin' mongrel. They were just trying to be polite. I met plenty of dogs on my rounds who had a good ol' sniff of me because they probably smelt my own dogs off me. I like dogs and so I often commented on the nice dog that was sniffing my a55...!!!! Lock me up and throw away the key...!!!!

Carry wrote: »

I expect everyone involved in politics and supposedly knowing what they are doing and especially knowing the law that they know that people without an Irish passport (apart from the British) are not allowed to vote in a GE.

I expect it especially from people who know me and know that I'm bloody German and even slag me about it in other circumstances, ffs!

Firstly, I think that is very unreasonable. I do not expect every canvasser that comes to the door to know the law RE who can and cannot vote. Why should they. The reason that people go out cavassing is that they believe in the policies of a party or a canditate and want to help promote them.

Secondly, just because you are German, does not necessairly mean that you are not registered to vote. If you have been living in this country for a few years, how are the lads to know wheather or not you have applied for citizenship.

But again, does that really matter. The fact is, you just did not like these two chaps, and so you are trying to make up some kind of justification why you think their canvassing was so terrible

Carry wrote: »

When I tell them that I'm by Irish law not allowed to vote and they still go on about me being registered or not - what do you think I'm supposed to be doing? Telling them, fine, I'll do the registering thingy even it's against the law?
Actually I told them, that's against the law, and still they were going on about it.

Again, as I explained, if, after you told them you could not vote, they turned on their heels and walked away, you would be on here whinging about how rude they were.

When someone is being rude to you (as it sounds like you were), it can be quite difficult to end a conversation politely.

Carry wrote: »

If you would have done it with me, I'm sure I would have let you to register me. But only after you have signed an agreement that you would pay the considerable fine I'm supposed to pay when they found out.

Just for the record, I did not register anyone. I just gave the chap the a printed copy of the register which I had in the car and he used it to check to see if he was on it. He was.

Carry wrote: »

Are you one of those party-tigers who would pay anything to get a vote for your hero? Is that still the political culture in Ireland? Shove over a brown envelope to get a vote? Even if it's illegal?

No wonder this country went down the drain.

People like you really make me sick. You like to think that you are open minded and progressive. But you are more stubbourn and stuck in your ways that anyone.

Just because I spent a few nights out canvassing. Without knowing the party I canvassed for (or if indeed it was any party), without knowing the canditate I canvassed for and without knowing anything else about me at all whatsoever, you have decided that I would hand out illegal brown envelopes to get a vote and I have lead to the ruin of the country.

Carry wrote: »

No, I opened the door because someone knocked.
I didn't intend to be rude, just being honest. When confronted with false friendliness by people who otherwise give a fiddler's fart about me and my opinion than my honesty can be regarded as rudeness.
So be it.
At least I can look in the mirror and not be ashamed of skulduggery.

Again - you decided the friendliness was false as soon as you opened the door because you did not like the two lads. For all you know, they might think you are a very nice person.

Carry wrote: »

At least I can look in the mirror and not be ashamed of skulduggery.

That is incredably useful and will go a long way towards rebuilding this country. (Check that your sacrasm detector is turned on there again)

If you have a problem with how the country is run there are a number of things you can do... Here are two options (not the only 2 mind)...

1) Become a keyboard warrier going on the internet whinging about it

2) Get off your a55 and go out and support the canditate or party that you feel will represent your views best in Dail Eireann.

I know which of those two options is more likely to get results.

Carry

BnB wrote: »

Well excuse me while I staple my sides back together after splitting them laughting.

Glad I made you laugh. That's part of my job to summarise an incident to make it understandable, short and funny. Success!

BnB wrote: »

Firstly, on your question to the canvassers "what are you going to do about the mess the government left? "

It's a question of nothing. What the hell did you expect them to say in 1 minute on the doorstep. Go through a detailed financial plan for the next 5 years ? Fair enough, "It'll be grand", is a bit dumb, but I wouldn't have expected much ,more than We'll do our best with it.

See above re my question. To recite the whole conversation word by word would have you falling apart with boredom.

BnB wrote: »

If you had a specific question, like, "What is FGs stance on Shannon Airport", then I would have expected a more specific answer.

I expect from canvassers and politicians (one of the guys is a local councillor, the other is someone I know who is either painfully shy or plain stupid, but definitely clueless) that they know their stuff and their agenda.
I asked a bit more qualified questions about politics in general, because I'm definitely more interested in political visions than in local backgarden-politics. The latter is imo one of the downfalls in Irish politics.
The councillor I know too. He's a local builder with no idea whatsoever, apart from ripping off people. And he just fell off the nomination for FG for the GE. Thank god! Imagine him trying to run the country!
If you know the politics and handlings of Clare CoCo you'd know what I'm, talking about.
Had I asked them about the future of Shannon Airport, I guess the answer would have been: Aah shure, the airport, isn't it an important thing for us all, with the tourists and such. Sure we do the best we can...

BnB wrote: »

As for not being registered to vote. Having canvassed a few times over the last few weeks for the first time, I understand exactly how they felt. Obviously, it's a bit of a conversation stopper. Firstly, you are after engaging them with a few questions, then in the middle of it you throw in that you don't have a vote. What did you expect them to do... Stop mid-sentence, turn around and walk away....??? They were just trying to be polite.

Now here's a frustrated canvasser talking.
No, they weren't trying to be polite, just smarmy-slobbery. They know me and have never been especially polite and always disliked my doggie. Especially they trying to be cosy-posy about my dog was disgusting.
I expect everyone involved in politics and supposedly knowing what they are doing and especially knowing the law that they know that people without an Irish passport (apart from the British) are not allowed to vote in a GE.
I expect it especially from people who know me and know that I'm bloody German and even slag me about it in other circumstances, ffs!
When I tell them that I'm by Irish law not allowed to vote and they still go on about me being registered or not - what do you think I'm supposed to be doing? Telling them, fine, I'll do the registering thingy even it's against the law?
Actually I told them, that's against the law, and still they were going on about it.

BnB wrote: »

And just as an aside, I had one guy who talked to me and then told me that he wasn't registered in Clare. He explained why not (he wasn't rude) and I told him that there was a chance that he could be registered and would he like to check the register (that I had with me). We checked, and he was on it and he was delighted.

If you would have done it with me, I'm sure I would have let you to register me. But only after you have signed an agreement that you would pay the considerable fine I'm supposed to pay when they found out.

Are you one of those party-tigers who would pay anything to get a vote for your hero? Is that still the political culture in Ireland? Shove over a brown envelope to get a vote? Even if it's illegal?

No wonder this country went down the drain.

BnB wrote: »

IMO, you opened the door with the specific intention of being rude and succeeded valiantly.

No, I opened the door because someone knocked.
I didn't intend to be rude, just being honest. When confronted with false friendliness by people who otherwise give a fiddler's fart about me and my opinion than my honesty can be regarded as rudeness.
So be it.
At least I can look in the mirror and not be ashamed of skulduggery.

BnB

Carry wrote: »

Hilarious it wasn't, rather sad and typical for the general ignorance.
Came these guys to my door from FG, canvassing.
It knocked, my dog went berserk, I opened the door, my dog tried to snap at them (good dog, two strange men knocking at my door after dark, it's her job to bark and snap), guy says, what a lovely dog (me: you won't get any favours from me by being nice about my biting dog).
So I asked them, what are you going to do about the mess the government left?
Guy: Ah, shure, we do the best we can, the best we can.
Me: But what exactly?
Guy: Ah shure, it needs a bit of work, but we all need to work, don't we, haha?
Me: ???
Guy: Ah shure, (now get this!), it'll be grand.
So, all will be grand, I said, that's, ehm, grand. But I won't vote for you, I won't vote at all, I'm not allowed, I'm a foreigner.
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure, I should know, shouldn't I?
But did you register for the election?
I'm not allowed! It's illegal, actually. I could be fined.
Ah, no, that can't be. Are you sure, you can't vote?
YES, I'M SURE!
Ah, well, take this anyway (puts a leaflet in my hand), in case you change your mind... what lovely dog, by the way...

Jayze!

Well excuse me while I staple my sides back together after splitting them laughting.

Firstly, on your question to the canvassers "what are you going to do about the mess the government left? "

It's a question of nothing. What the hell did you expect them to say in 1 minute on the doorstep. Go through a detailed financial plan for the next 5 years ? Fair enough, "It'll be grand", is a bit dumb, but I wouldn't have expected much ,more than We'll do our best with it.

If you had a specific question, like, "What is FGs stance on Shannon Airport", then I would have expected a more specific answer.

As for not being registered to vote. Having canvassed a few times over the last few weeks for the first time, I understand exactly how they felt. Obviously, it's a bit of a conversation stopper. Firstly, you are after engaging them with a few questions, then in the middle of it you throw in that you don't have a vote. What did you expect them to do... Stop mid-sentence, turn around and walk away....??? They were just trying to be polite.

And just as an aside, I had one guy who talked to me and then told me that he wasn't registered in Clare. He explained why not (he wasn't rude) and I told him that there was a chance that he could be registered and would he like to check the register (that I had with me). We checked, and he was on it and he was delighted.

IMO, you opened the door with the specific intention of being rude and succeeded valiantly.

Carry

summerskin wrote: »

i'm english and i can vote. you need to check the laws, as any EU citizen who lives here can vote in various elections

I did check the laws. Yes the English (resident in Ireland) may vote even in the general election (why????), the rest of the EU-citizens only in the local and European election.

But doesn't matter, I'm German and, according to popular belief, we rule the country anyway, no matter who votes what

:D:D:p

pedroThePirate

"Quotations found on the Internet are rarely accurate"
- Abraham Lincoln

summerskin

i'm english and i can vote. you need to check the laws, as any EU citizen who lives here can vote in various elections

"

How to apply

Information

If you have applied and been approved for Irish citizenship, you have the right to vote in all referenda and elections in Ireland. In order however to exercise that right, you must ensure that your name has been entered on the Electoral Register.
If you are resident in Ireland but not an Irish citizen, you also have the right to vote in some of the elections.

The Electoral Register

A new Electoral Register is compiled each year and is published on 1 November. Resident Irish citizens are entitled to vote at all elections and they are identified by the letter 'P' after their names on the register. Resident British citizens can vote in local, European and Dáil elections and are identified by the letter 'D'. Resident EU citizens can only vote in local and European elections and have a letter 'E' after their names. Those identified by the letter 'L' opposite their name (non-EU citizens) can only vote at local elections.
You can inspect the register or draft register during working hours at the offices of your local authority or county registrar and at public libraries, post offices and Garda stations. You can also check if you are registered by entering your details on the Register of Electors online enquiries website.
A draft register is compiled on 1 November each year. You have until 25 November to make a correction or have your name included. You may be asked for documents such as a birth certificate or a certificate of naturalisation in order to prove your eligibility to vote. The amended register is then published in February.
If you are qualified to vote but have missed the deadline to include your name on the register, you can apply to be included in a Supplement to the Register, which will allow you to vote at any election or referendum held during the year. You can apply for inclusion on the Supplemental Register at least 15 days before polling day (Sundays, public holidays and Good Friday are not counted as days for this purpose)."

angelfire9

CptSternn wrote: »

I was looking at the Lyons side of things.

Would be nice if you could even spell the name right

Its Lyne not Lyons!

And considering the family are originally from Kerry I doubt they are FF'ers

CptSternn

Don_Corleone wrote: »

nice story, but you do realise that Donal slattery who co-owns the paper comes from a staunchly Fine Gael background ?
yeah didnt think so.

I havent noticed the people or the champion being biased one way or the other but maybe thats cause i'm not looking for some intricate conspiracy theory to suit my own views.

I was looking at the Lyons side of things.

I talk you listen

Timmy Dooley to the children on the street while canvassing in Clonlara

''Would ye mind knocking on a few doors and handing people these leaflets, save me doing them all. Thanks yer very good''

Clareman

It was a call to discuss upcoming budget changes and how we were to submit updated requests for budget, considering that I'm finishing up my current job in 2 weeks and am on holidays next week I didn't really listen too carefully

Kasabian

Clareman wrote: »

D'oh, that's what I get for trying to mod while on a conference call in work

Yeah, it was a boring call alright.

Kasabian

Carry wrote: »

To answer your question:
Yes, he/she is a journalist. Happy?
No reply needed, though.

I thought so. Seems the standard required of the Clare People journalist is to be able to copy and paste.

Clareman

D'oh, that's what I get for trying to mod while on a conference call in work

Kasabian

Clareman wrote: »

Boards.ie is no place to vent slanderous acquisitions about people's political background or illegal activities

Accusations even? :P

Clareman

Boards.ie is no place to vent slanderous acquisitions about people's political background or illegal activities

Don_Corleone

CptSternn wrote: »

<snip>

nice story, but you do realise that Donal slattery who co-owns the paper comes from a staunchly Fine Gael background ?
yeah didnt think so.

I havent noticed the people or the champion being biased one way or the other but maybe thats cause i'm not looking for some intricate conspiracy theory to suit my own views.

Carry

Kasabian wrote: »

I asked a question, a relevant question in my opinion. When I get a response I will reply.

To answer your question:
Yes, he/she is a journalist. Happy?
No reply needed, though.

Kasabian wrote: »

Pointless story

No story at all. More like a protocol to show the point: Irish politicians are pointless gombeens.

MaryB: Priceless! "in tune with the 20th century"

maryb26

From JJ Mc Cabe's leaflet

"Ryanair can vibrate Shannon airport"

"We need a modern day Nationalist party which is in tune with the 20th century."

Now if we could go back to the 20th century we could maybe do things differently. Maybe he could be on to something!!!!!!!!!

CiaranMT

Kasabian wrote: »

Pointless story

Pointless? Hardly. It's just showing the poor attitude a lot of our candidates still have, unfortunately.

Many don't seem to grasp how this recesssion is affecting people.

Kasabian

Carry wrote: »

What's that supposed to mean?
Politicians and their folks would be more careful when talking to a journalist. But they say the oddest things to ordinary people at the door, in the pub or wherever they try to get votes.

Besides, we all know that the Clare People is a bit short staffed. Why not use the internet like everyone else? Or do you think that journalists walk from door to door and ask people "did you hear something hilarious"?
At least he doesn't invent quotes, but asks the readers. Completey legit.

I asked a question, a relevant question in my opinion. When I get a response I will reply.

Hilarious it wasn't, rather sad and typical for the general ignorance.
Came these guys to my door from FG, canvassing.
It knocked, my dog went berserk, I opened the door, my dog tried to snap at them (good dog, two strange men knocking at my door after dark, it's her job to bark and snap), guy says, what a lovely dog (me: you won't get any favours from me by being nice about my biting dog).
So I asked them, what are you going to do about the mess the government left?
Guy: Ah, shure, we do the best we can, the best we can.
Me: But what exactly?
Guy: Ah shure, it needs a bit of work, but we all need to work, don't we, haha?
Me: ???
Guy: Ah shure, (now get this!), it'll be grand.
So, all will be grand, I said, that's, ehm, grand. But I won't vote for you, I won't vote at all, I'm not allowed, I'm a foreigner.
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure, I should know, shouldn't I?
But did you register for the election?
I'm not allowed! It's illegal, actually. I could be fined.
Ah, no, that can't be. Are you sure, you can't vote?
YES, I'M SURE!
Ah, well, take this anyway (puts a leaflet in my hand), in case you change your mind... what lovely dog, by the way...

Jayze! :rolleyes:

Pointless story

CptSternn

Balagan wrote: »

And, of course, those posting here are sworn to honesty and have no political bias and would never, ever, invent something to cast any politician in an unfavourable light! Not of course that The Clare People would print anything unfavourable. Never read such fawning drivel as has been put out in the paper for the past couple of weeks. It has been positively orgasmic about John Hillery. Much of it reads like PR. How can journalists write such stuff and put their names to it?

<snip>

Kristopherus

Balagan wrote: »

And, of course, those posting here are sworn to honesty and have no political bias and would never, ever, invent something to cast any politician in an unfavourable light! Not of course that The Clare People would print anything unfavourable. Never read such fawning drivel as has been put out in the paper for the past couple of weeks. It has been positively orgasmic about John Hillery. Much of it reads like PR. How can journalists write such stuff and put their names to it?

Maybe they made the big parachute that brought him from Dublin back to the Banner:D:D:D

Carry

Balagan wrote: »

And, of course, those posting here are sworn to honesty and have no political bias and would never, ever, invent something to cast any politician in an unfavourable light! Not of course that The Clare People would print anything unfavourable. Never read such fawning drivel as has been put out in the paper for the past couple of weeks. It has been positively orgasmic about John Hillery. Much of it reads like PR. How can journalists write such stuff and put their names to it?

I didn't read The Clare people lately, or any local paper, so I don't know what they are on about.

Usually journalists are obliged to write what the publisher tells them to write. There is only a tiny bit personal opinion. And considering that journalists are in fear to lose their jobs right left and centre they do just what is expected.
So blame the publisher not the poor sod who hangs on to his job.

What I meant is simply that it's legit to ask people over the internet. Though I have to admit that it's more authentic to do the talk (and sometimes the walk) yourself.

But think about the big shots at the national newspapers. They don't even bother to ask people around the net. They just do opinion, google, boards.ie, copy and discuss it with their pals who do the same. That's my impression, at least - having been a journalist for a national paper myself.

To help the local newspaper(s) to make an impact, just contribute and participate!
Not what you are asked for by a journalist but by forcing your own truth on them.
You are the readers, the people who make or brake a good newspaper after all.

Balagan

Carry wrote: »

What's that supposed to mean?
Politicians and their folks would be more careful when talking to a journalist. But they say the oddest things to ordinary people at the door, in the pub or wherever they try to get votes.

Besides, we all know that the Clare People is a bit short staffed. Why not use the internet like everyone else? Or do you think that journalists walk from door to door and ask people "did you hear something hilarious"?
At least he doesn't invent quotes, but asks the readers. Completey legit...

And, of course, those posting here are sworn to honesty and have no political bias and would never, ever, invent something to cast any politician in an unfavourable light! Not of course that The Clare People would print anything unfavourable. Never read such fawning drivel as has been put out in the paper for the past couple of weeks. It has been positively orgasmic about John Hillery. Much of it reads like PR. How can journalists write such stuff and put their names to it?

Carry

User Friendly wrote: »

So you cant vote,for whatever reasons,is what your saying,well being a foreigner doesnt exclude you from having a vote in this country.

Thanks, I would like to have a vote - but:
No, I can't vote in the general election and not in a referendum. Only Irish citizens can, the ones with an Irish passport. Which I don't have and don't need and costs a fortune anyway.
It's actually against the law if I try to get registered (which usually isn't a problem, people are way too sloppy with checking up). But if I get caught out I have to pay a hefty fine.
Worst case scenario might be that the whole election is declared invalid because people like me voted illegally.:D

But I can vote in local elections (as a permanent resident in Ireland) and the European election (as a EU-citizen), which I do.

User Friendly wrote: »

By the way,if your dog did happen to bite someone who knocked on the door,you could have a problem with the law;)

I have a half-door, dog can't just bite when I open the upper half. She's indoors, and outdoors only on a lead or supervised in the garden. I don't want to get anyone hurt, of course. But she goes only after men for some reasons anyway (rescue dog, who knows what goes on between her floppy ears...)

But it's good to know, and have other people let know, that she might if someone threatens me and I let her loose...

User Friendly

Carry wrote: »

What's that supposed to mean?
Politicians and their folks would be more careful when talking to a journalist. But they say the oddest things to ordinary people at the door, in the pub or wherever they try to get votes.

Besides, we all know that the Clare People is a bit short staffed. Why not use the internet like everyone else? Or do you think that journalists walk from door to door and ask people "did you hear something hilarious"?
At least he doesn't invent quotes, but asks the readers. Completey legit.

Hilarious it wasn't, rather sad and typical for the general ignorance.
Came these guys to my door from FG, canvassing.
It knocked, my dog went berserk, I opened the door, my dog tried to snap at them (good dog, two strange men knocking at my door after dark, it's her job to bark and snap), guy says, what a lovely dog (me: you won't get any favours from me by being nice about my biting dog).
So I asked them, what are you going to do about the mess the government left?
Guy: Ah, shure, we do the best we can, the best we can.
Me: But what exactly?
Guy: Ah shure, it needs a bit of work, but we all need to work, don't we, haha?
Me: ???
Guy: Ah shure, (now get this!), it'll be grand.
So, all will be grand, I said, that's, ehm, grand. But I won't vote for you, I won't vote at all, I'm not allowed, I'm a foreigner.
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure, I should know, shouldn't I?
But did you register for the election?
I'm not allowed! It's illegal, actually. I could be fined.
Ah, no, that can't be. Are you sure, you can't vote?
YES, I'M SURE!
Ah, well, take this anyway (puts a leaflet in my hand), in case you change your mind... what lovely dog, by the way...

Jayze! :rolleyes:

So you cant vote,for whatever reasons,is what your saying,well being a foreigner doesnt exclude you from having a vote in this country.

By the way,if your dog did happen to bite someone who knocked on the door,you could have a problem with the law;)

Carry

Kasabian wrote: »

Aren't you a journalist?

What's that supposed to mean?
Politicians and their folks would be more careful when talking to a journalist. But they say the oddest things to ordinary people at the door, in the pub or wherever they try to get votes.

Besides, we all know that the Clare People is a bit short staffed. Why not use the internet like everyone else? Or do you think that journalists walk from door to door and ask people "did you hear something hilarious"?
At least he doesn't invent quotes, but asks the readers. Completey legit.

Hilarious it wasn't, rather sad and typical for the general ignorance.
Came these guys to my door from FG, canvassing.
It knocked, my dog went berserk, I opened the door, my dog tried to snap at them (good dog, two strange men knocking at my door after dark, it's her job to bark and snap), guy says, what a lovely dog (me: you won't get any favours from me by being nice about my biting dog).
So I asked them, what are you going to do about the mess the government left?
Guy: Ah, shure, we do the best we can, the best we can.
Me: But what exactly?
Guy: Ah shure, it needs a bit of work, but we all need to work, don't we, haha?
Me: ???
Guy: Ah shure, (now get this!), it'll be grand.
So, all will be grand, I said, that's, ehm, grand. But I won't vote for you, I won't vote at all, I'm not allowed, I'm a foreigner.
Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure, I should know, shouldn't I?
But did you register for the election?
I'm not allowed! It's illegal, actually. I could be fined.
Ah, no, that can't be. Are you sure, you can't vote?
YES, I'M SURE!
Ah, well, take this anyway (puts a leaflet in my hand), in case you change your mind... what lovely dog, by the way...

Jayze! :rolleyes:

Kasabian

ClarePeople wrote: »

I'm compiling a list of the funniest quotes from General Election 2011 in Clare. We've got some classics already but if anyone has heard a candidate say something particularly hilarious or off the wall please pass it on. Cheers

Aren't you a journalist?