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Humorous / Possibly Cruel Nicknames

Pacing Mule

Grew up with a guy called Paul who had an accident where he went over the handlebars of his bike, ripped his sack off the brake and lost a ball.

Forever more known as one ball paul.

I'm sure there's far worse out there. Let's have 'em !

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citizen_p

guy in my class was known as "piss head"
because he drank piss on a night out, didnt even notice until it was pointed out to him, it was hilarious watching him carry around and sipping half a bottle of piss for 20 minutes, recently changed to "Bear Grylls".

another was repeatdly called "daz", because he tried to give himself a nickname when he was younger, it didnt stick and then one day we remembered how he used to always call himself it and how sad it was.
you might think his plan finaly worked but he now hates it with a passion.

another who was hated by the whole year was called a vast mix of names, "pikey"....a load of surnames because his mother was a bike and was married several times, and once or twice to settled travelling men. pikey was the common one but it changed from month to month

"Head", he had a huge head.

lolie

knew a young fella years ago with a big white patch on his his head so he got the name piebald. tried to dye it but it came out green, got serious slagging for it. poor gobsh1te

niallo76

a guy where i work has the nickname Dicky Do-
he has a fair ol beer belly on him and so one day someone remarked that
'his belly sticks out more than his dickie do...(in best blaa accent)

also another guy called Rocky Dennis because of his huge head

Amber Lamps

used to work with a guy in a factory who was a bit dim, he was called Bungalow.

there was nothing upstairs

yoursaviour1989

Got called 'Chemo' for a while in school because I came in with a 2 blade all over and one of the lads said 'ha you've got leukemia, I'm gonna call you Chemo'. I laughed. Terrible to think that we all did really.

ham_n_mustard

"Shaky" had a bit of a twitch
"John Fashion" had what looked like a cat-skin jacket
"Parallax" was so skinny we weren't really sure where he was at any given time

steve_

A lad in college got the nickname "cancer fist" only ever got in one fight in his life and the poor chap he did fight with died of cancer. Couldnt believe it when i heard it

A_Border_Bandit

My Da and his best friend (this man is now my uncle) were apparently good craic when they were younger, always out and about and regular lads. They'd slag each other and everyone else in the bar and stuff like that but my uncle was relentless once he got started, he'd keep at you and at you and at you!
So my now 50 year old uncle is known as "aids" around my town because you can't get rid of him!

Dangerous Man

Badgermonkey wrote: »

Friend of mine picked up an antique coal shovel at a party 20 yrs ago, stared at it intensely for 3-4 secs., then put it back down.

He's been known as Lovejoy ever since.

That is fantastic. I burst out laughing at that.

:D:D:D

seafood dunleavy

Knew a lad in primary school nicknamed black.No idea why because he wasn't black.Funny though.

Ronin247

Lad at work with big ears.........Wingnut

Lads father who has a limp.......squarewheel

Young one who's sister was quite promiscuous and known as the town bike.......The tricycle

stateofflux

girl in school called nella singe .....which became 'smella minge' ....genius

kieran26

a rather rotund gentleman i used to work on the sites with he was known as 'roundy'

Aoifey!

I guy I knew used was always scared he'd get in trouble and he always looked a bit yellow so he got the nickname "chicken". Turned out he had a hole in his heart and that's why he was yellow...they still call him chicken though!

Same guy used to be called "Pain in the face" cause when ya saw ya'd get a pain in your face lookin' at him. Not that he was particularly ugly, just annoying.

Larianne

Boy in primary school smelled. So Martin Murray became Fartin Curry.

Corkboi

Knew a fella in school when we were kids and he had a huge head, we used to call him "Man Head" .....

Animal_

Pageant Messiah wrote: »

Grew up with a guy called Paul who had an accident where he went over the handlebars of his bike, ripped his sack off the brake and lost a ball.

Forever more known as one ball paul.

I'm sure there's far worse out there. Let's have 'em !

Christ I know a lad this happened to aswell, nasty luck...

Mammanabammana

Girl in college got herself a bit of a rep for her great love of slobbering the johnson, earning herself the rather unfortunate nickname (not to her face) B.J. Baracus.

Turtyturd

A bloke in my class who had a bad hairline for a teenager was constantly referred to as Mister Morehead (more head than hair) by our history teacher...wouldn't get that nowadays.

Glenster

We called a ginger from Kerry whose eyes were too far apart "Mongui".

In retrospect it was a missed opportunity.

Gingersnaps

A guy I knew broke his two arms in a bad car accident. Since then he's been called Dirty Bum.

Long Term Louth

I remember sitting in a bar some time ago and some of the older customers were discussing some guy called 'Poision Jock'. When I inquired as to the reason anyone would receive such a nickname, they informed me that 'Poision Jock' had been widowed 5 times.

0O7

A girl from school was way bigger / broader / taller than every fella in the class

we used called her "the refrigerator"

still makes me laugh

0O7

Mammanabammana wrote: »

slobbering the johnson.

that is the funniest phrase of all time!

Feeona

This one's a humorous/ possibly cruel chant levelled at Ranger's goalkeeper who suffers from schizophrenia "Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams.."

padraig.od

There was a Pakistani guy in our school who played in goal for the football team. He got an obvious erection in front of the whole class in P.E. one day and ended up with the name Paki Boner for the next 3 years.

fatherted1969

A lad in work whose hair was thinning at the top became known as 'Monkey arse head' very funny at the time:D

Feeona

padraig.od wrote: »

There was a Pakistani guy in our school who played in goal for the football team. He got an obvious erection in front of the whole class in P.E. one day and ended up with the name Paki Boner for the next 3 years.

Bloody hell, that was some boner!

tfitzgerald

We had a lad at school who's hair was so greasy they used call him fry pan

0O7

A fella who hated going to work :

Harvey Norman.... he had 0% interest