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Broke from weddings

Common as...

What do people on here think about having to go to weddings and how much it costs?

I had to go 5 weddings (3 stags) last year, it cost me a small fortune and I had hate fooking things.
Got another invite in the door yesterday and its the kinda thing that unless you have a really good excuse, you have to go or risk alienating a friend for ever more.

So without ever counting my gf's expenses guess what this means to me:
overnight stay in hotel £50 euro
petrol up and down £50
gift(cash in card:mad:) £150
day drinking £100

(got outta the stag, made up some bulsh#t excuse, it was to U.K = £400)

Thats 350 euro I dont have and the thing is,I have a Job what about the those who don't have a job, gettin an invite must be a black day

So to anyone who is now planning a big wedding I can assure that unless you are inviting very close friends and family most people don't really wanna go especially those who are in low paid jobs or unemployed

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Darlughda

So what happens if the bride or groom cheat on each other a couple of years down the line? Do they have to give the presents back?

Common as...

poppers wrote: »

there is not rule stating you have to go if your invited
if people hate weddigsas much as they are saying here then i'm i'm sure your friends know how much you hate weddings so they would not be surprised if your RSVP was NO

I only hate that part in the middle the rest I don't really like as in its not my idea of having a gud time and the fact that I've to pay to do only makes it worse.
are you angry cos I don't like weddings. why?

giftgrub

I have three this year.
One of them posted the wedding list online, it totals 12 grand.
Stuff like 28 euro dinner plates and a 200 euro toaster

Darlughda

giftgrub wrote: »

I have three this year.
One of them posted the wedding list online, it totals 12 grand.
Stuff like 28 euro dinner plates and a 200 euro toaster

Would ya not just turn up with a couple of tea towels make a joke of it and show them up for being greedy?

dory

Common as... wrote: »

Sounds very toughtful fairplay:)
But the thing is if everybody did this the poor couple getting married would need a 20k - 30k loan to pay for the wkend its kinda hard to enjoy a swedish massage when your down 25K:eek:

I hate this mentality though that we're as guests meant to pay for their wedding. I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for my birthday party, or child's Christening - so why wedding?? It only serves to make people hate them more.

Irish weddings are getting more and more formulaic. To the point where (almost) everyone is bored of them and sick of paying so much. I hope with the recession comes the idea that if you want a wedding, pay for it, and don't expect your poor guests to.

Tubsandtiles

OP just get married and "rake in the money"

phasers

Common as... wrote: »

Sounds very toughtful fairplay:)
But the thing is if everybody did this the poor couple getting married would need a 20k - 30k loan to pay for the wkend its kinda hard to enjoy a swedish massage when your down 25K:eek:

This is why everybody hates weddings.

Do couples really expect their guests to pay for their wedding? YOU decided to have a stupidly expensive day dedicated to yourselves, so YOU should pay for it.

coffeenuts

PrincessLola wrote: »

Do you have to give them a cash gift? 150 seems a bit excessive. My parents give me less then that for xmas/birthdays:eek: You're prob at the age now where all your friends are getting married but surely showing up and giving a card or something is enough??

whatsamsn wrote: »

Yeah 150 is well too much.
You would be just as nice giving 100 euro. Round figure. Does the same job. But even less is more sensible. Whats your average wedding presents? coffee makers? george formans? they dont cost 100 euro even.

But ultimately if you think going to weddings is burning a hole in your pocket you'd be best to make excuses as KeithM89 said.

But all in all you should only goto really close friends, or family weddings. Not people you may of been friends with at some point in the past but not in regular contact now.

Have you people got married recently? No I didnt think so.

The bride and groom who have invited you to a very special day in their lives will have spent around 75 per person for dinner and god knows how much more on the rest of the wedding.

150 is the going rate for a present simple as that. Anything less is just scabby and you would be better making your excuses and stayin home as your costing them money by going.

Leiva

Tubsandtiles wrote: »

OP just get married and "rake in the money"

Exactly .

Just have a big massive fcuk off "sham" Wedding and get all your cash back , also have it in the most expensive Hotel and get em back on the additional cost front.

Divorce your "sham" wife 2 days later and piss off with all their cash on a round the World tour whilst they wish to get divorced .

Think of a those Weddings as a World tour savings scheme .

lil'bug

I don't agree with this minimum spend amount, I was at my friends wedding recently and I couldn't afford a gift on the day so I asked her what she really wanted, she wanted a vase, so I got her one. It didn't cost €150 but she was very very happy with it and because the vase was reasonable i bought them an extra surprise gift

mrsdewinter

PrincessLola wrote: »

Do you have to give them a cash gift? 150 seems a bit excessive. My parents give me less then that for xmas/birthdays:eek: You're prob at the age now where all your friends are getting married but surely showing up and giving a card or something is enough??

You're kidding, right? That would be certain social death. Back during the Celtic Tiger years, wedding costs were sky-high. Cash gifts were a way of defraying expenses. Horrible approach to take to your Big Day but, well, we all got a little crazy for a while.

dory

coffeenuts wrote: »

150 is the going rate for a present simple as that. Anything less is just scabby and you would be better making your excuses and stayin home as your costing them money by going.

No, it's not simple as that. As you can see, a lot of people can't afford it, and some won't out of principle. So people are really going to have to get used to paying for their own weddings or downsizing.

"Costing them money by going"? Of COURSE you're costing them money, that's what hospitality is. You also cost someone money every time you go to their house for tea.

gcgirl

I thinks it's hilarious non pratising Catholics using a church for their big White wedding what's wrong with a civil marriage ? The travellers have more religion in them n most are reguler mass goers and are more intitled to use a church !
I really think it's a case of people just trying to out do oneanother esp the chicks the guys just get bored stiff with the bridzillas;)

coffeenuts wrote: »

Have you people got married recently? No I didnt think so.

The bride and groom who have invited you to a very special day in their lives will have spent around 75 per person for dinner and god knows how much more on the rest of the wedding.

150 is the going rate for a present simple as that. Anything less is just scabby and you would be better making your excuses and stayin home as your costing them money by going.

PrincessLola

mrsdewinter wrote: »

You're kidding, right? That would be certain social death. Back during the Celtic Tiger years, wedding costs were sky-high. Cash gifts were a way of defraying expenses. Horrible approach to take to your Big Day but, well, we all got a little crazy for a while.

bah! They're spoilt kids who feel entitled to a big party in their honour and then demand wads of cash for the party no one wanted in the first place. humph!!!:mad:

(*None of my friends have gotten married yet*)

gcgirl

Feck cash gifts I got my mate a print framed from a painter guy I know cost 60 euro she loved it:)

PCPhoto

dory wrote: »

No, it's not simple as that. As you can see, a lot of people can't afford it, and some won't out of principle. So people are really going to have to get used to paying for their own weddings or downsizing.

"Costing them money by going"? Of COURSE you're costing them money, that's what hospitality is. You also cost someone money every time you go to their house for tea.

they probably didnt send out invites so they could make money (ie to cover the cost) ...they wanted their "friend" at the wedding .... so turn up, if you feel the need...get a gift...give a pressie...enjoy the festivities....or tell them you cant afford to go, give them a gift anyway - as they are your friends (if thats money or an actual present - thats your choice)

mrsdewinter

Vases, bottles of prosecco... Remind me never to invite you peeps to my wedding.

mrsdewinter

PrincessLola wrote: »

bah! They're spoilt kids who feel entitled to a big party in their honour and then demand wads of cash for the party no one wanted in the first place. humph!!!:mad:

(*None of my friends have gotten married yet*)

Lols... You'll see

Dyr

Don't forget the days off work if the fookers decide not to have it on a weekend.

I don't go to 'em these days..buy a gift..give it to 'em and good luck. If they get the hump and never talk to me again then it's one less friend/relative/acquaintance that I'll have to deal with. Boo hoo

lil'bug

mrsdewinter wrote: »

Vases, bottles of prosecco... Remind me never to invite you peeps to my wedding.

that was what my friend wanted i asked her and she loved it

phasers

That's another thing, why do people feel obliged to send a gift if they're not going? If I ever get married I'm going to send out thousands of invitations to people I barely know, seems a good little moneymaker :rolleyes:

omega666

Common as... wrote: »

Sounds very toughtful fairplay:)
But the thing is if everybody did this the poor couple getting married would need a 20k - 30k loan to pay for the wkend its kinda hard to enjoy a swedish massage when your down 25K:eek:

if the couple cant afford to pay for thier own wedding then why are they having one that costs that much.

go to the reigistry office or just have a small family affair i.e something they can afford!

[Deleted User]

Common as... wrote: »

What do people on here think about having to go to weddings and how much it costs?

I had to go 5 weddings (3 stags) last year, it cost me a small fortune and I had hate fooking things.
Got another invite in the door yesterday and its the kinda thing that unless you have a really good excuse, you have to go or risk alienating a friend for ever more.

So without ever counting my gf's expenses guess what this means to me:
overnight stay in hotel £50 euro
petrol up and down £50
gift(cash in card:mad:) £150
day drinking £100

(got outta the stag, made up some bulsh#t excuse, it was to U.K = £400)

Thats 350 euro I dont have and the thing is,I have a Job what about the those who don't have a job, gettin an invite must be a black day

So to anyone who is now planning a big wedding I can assure that unless you are inviting very close friends and family most people don't really wanna go especially those who are in low paid jobs or unemployed

Don't spend 100 pounds on a day drinking, jesus that's not the wedding's fault
And give 100 between ye not 150 from you

snubbleste

Flashmob weddings are the future

Shoppers in a Boston mall in December were surprised when a crowd of people suddenly broke into song and choreographed dance moves in front of the stores. But they were left reeling when two of the revellers stripped off their winter clothes to reveal a wedding dress and tuxedo — and stepped down a makeshift "aisle" to exchange vows.
John Kleiman and Caroline Turcksin, a couple from Needham, Mass., decided to hold a "flash-mob" wedding to save money, and give their guests a unique experience. They had the occasion filmed to show Turcksin's family in Belgium — but since the clip went viral it has been viewed more than 300,000 times on YouTube.

http://theweek.com/article/index/211003/the-flash-mob-wedding-in-a-boston-mall

whiteonion

Why would anyone look to spend €20K-€30K on a wedding if they could not afford it? Man I should not be on boards, I read things that make me facepalm with both my hands and feet every day.

[Deleted User]

This thread reminded me of just how much I hate weddings. It's grotesque, inviting people to a party YOU decided to have and then expecting them to pay for it. Wedding lists are just vulgar and greedy, IMO. Since when is it acceptable to ask for gifts? Any time I receive an invitation with a 'helpful' link to a wedding list or a suggestion of how much cash to give or bank details for a honeymoon fund, I politely tell the person to f*ck off. Weddings are supposed to be a celebration, not an attempt to wangle as much expensive household stuff as possible and a paid-for honeymoon in the Maldives. You should invite people because you want them to be there, not because you need to cover your costs. The worst type are those people who decide to get married on some distant Caribbean island and then expect their guests to shell out for flights and accommodation to get there. Self centered kunts.

The best weddings I've attended have been the simple ones without all the chair covers and centrepieces and other expensive but useless rubbish. My aunt is getting married in the summer and it's going to be a pub buffet dinner with a DJ afterwards and the invitation says not to worry about bringing a present (I'm sure everyone will, but it'll be thoughtful presents, not selecting a George Foreman off a list). Isn't that what weddings are about?

mahamageehad

If i ever get married (doubtful) it'll be a small affair with only the basics. instead of spending craaazy money on the day i will buy myself a savage honeymoon. :P

rainbowtrout

coffeenuts wrote: »

Have you people got married recently? No I didnt think so.

The bride and groom who have invited you to a very special day in their lives will have spent around 75 per person for dinner and god knows how much more on the rest of the wedding.

150 is the going rate for a present simple as that. Anything less is just scabby and you would be better making your excuses and stayin home as your costing them money by going.

It's not scabby. Some people genuinely can't afford 150. And this 'covering the cost of dinner' is ridiculous. Should I give the friend who had her wedding reception in a bog standard hotel where meals were €40 a head less of a gift because her wedding cost less as she didn't go mad spending money she didn't have in the hope that the guests would cough up the rest in terms of monetary gifts? Or should the friend that chose to have hers in a five star hotel where meals were €80 a head get a bigger gift because she's spending more on a wedding that she couldn't afford and is depending on the gifts to cover the cost.

I don't give the cost of the meal/venue a second thought when giving a wedding gift. Nobody forces the bride and groom to spend silly amounts of money on a reception they can't afford. What's scabby is a couple expecting the guests to fund their wedding. Some couples would get an awful shock and I suspect be highly ungrateful if they got 200 sets of towels/kettles/toasters as gifts. Nobody gets to dictate what gifts they get and how much they should be worth.

Common as...

dory wrote: »

I hate this mentality though that we're as guests meant to pay for their wedding. I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for my birthday party, or child's Christening - so why wedding?? It only serves to make people hate them more.

Irish weddings are getting more and more formulaic. To the point where (almost) everyone is bored of them and sick of paying so much. I hope with the recession comes the idea that if you want a wedding, pay for it, and don't expect your poor guests to.

I completely agree with this, but when it comes to the wedding gift I feel this is a complete Gun to Head situation and those who stand to gain outta big weddings are very happy to keep it that way.

I've no problem with small weddings or weddings of 70/80 cos thats just immediate family and very very close friends and after-all it is a special day.
I also completely agree with posters who said if your having a big wedding you should pay for it yourself or else downsize. If a wedding is more than 70/80 guest you should do the decent thing and make on the invite no wedding gifts (but nobody does this). Seeing as its such a special day money should be completely takin out of the equation. Hopefully this will put a stop to the monstrosity that irish weddings have become.

phasers

Fcukin hell, 80 people is immediate family and very very close friends? How many relatives do you have?