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How do Nurses deal with patient's erections?

Quandary

Well AH,

Like the title says, what do nurses/doctors do when patients get a boner during bathing/examinations etc...?

I came across (pun-5

) a post on the site www.healthcaremagic.com by this guy who had an unfortunate incident

And i quote...

"help. I just had a physical exam and i new from the begining that i was going to get an erection but tried my best to fight it and failed. (and this is all while the nurse is prepping me before the doctor came in). When the doctor came in and checked my penis and testicles i went to full mass. I was so embarrassed but then when i had the prostate exam i ejaculated all over the counter i was bending over. Needless to say i can never show my face in there again. Has this ever happened to anyone? Soon as i felt that "feeling" that i was close, i tried my best to think of just about anything that would prevent me from exploding but when i clamped down on my sphincter, it made things worse and i shot my load off. I was so embarrassed that i could barely breath. -and i clamped down while his fingers were in me, which resulted in a very forceful pressure against my prostate and you can figure out what happened then"

He doesn't exactly say what the doctor/nurse did or said after it happened but my god, can you just imagine the humiliation........ and the hilarity

?

I read this 20 minutes ago and im still laughing.

Seriously though, what do doctors/nurses do to try and prevent this happening, im genuinely intrigued!

Any nurses/doctors out there who have an answer to this?

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starbelgrade

The suck them off.

[Deleted User]

Quandary wrote: »

Well AH,

Like the title says, what do nurses/doctors do when patients get a boner during bathing/examinations etc...?

That is indeed a quandary.

kfallon

Get the spoon out and tap them like a hard boiled egg

Jesus Wept

starbelgrade wrote: »

The suck them off.

If the internet has taught me anything, it is this.
They often call a second nurse in to help.

veryangryman

They just act natural and later tell their partner all about it later in the "how was work hun" conversation

Dr. No

Thankfully I have never come across a patient with a boner.

Jaxxy

starbelgrade wrote: »

The suck them off.

I have a few nurse friends and you'd be surprised at how many people actually think it is part of their duties to "relieve" a patient when they get a hard on. :pac:

starbelgrade

Dr. No wrote: »

Thankfully I have never come across a patient with a boner.

In the business, he's known as Dr.No Boners.

starbelgrade

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

I have a few nurse friends and you'd be surprised at how many people actually think it is part of their duties to "relieve" a patient when they get a hard on. :pac:

You mean, it's not?

alwaysadub

Dr. No wrote: »

Thankfully I have never come across a patient with a boner.

But have they come across,or in front of, you?

Jaxxy

starbelgrade wrote: »

You mean, it's not?

No.

Don't throw yourself down those stairs starbelgrade, it's just not worth it now.

starbelgrade

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

No.

Don't throw yourself down those stairs starbelgrade, it's just not worth it now.

*crawls back upstairs, leg in hand*

Duggy747

Well if pornos have taught me anything about life (and they have) is that the nurse would probably look shocked before horsing it down her throat while furiously masturbating.

Then, presumably, she'd break out the enema kit and 4 gallons of milk.

battries not included

i broke both my arms on purpose to see if the nurse would 'help me out' when i got a stiffy..........

i found out alright, a filipino male nurse 'helped me out'

Jaxxy

starbelgrade wrote: »

*crawls back upstairs to the missus, third leg in hand*

FYP.

pebbles21

starbelgrade wrote: »

The suck them off.

Only if your in the VHI

Earthhorse

starbelgrade wrote: »

The suck them off.

The-Rigger wrote: »

If the internet has taught me anything, it is this.
They often call a second nurse in to help.

And people have the nerve to criticise the HSE.

*shakes head*

starbelgrade

pebbles21 wrote: »

Only if your in the VHI

Very Handy Indeed

Quandary

OP here - cheers for the jokes folks

So has this genuinely ever happened to anyone ye know? Doctor/Nurse or patient?

galwayrush

kfallon wrote: »

Get the spoon out and tap them like a hard boiled egg

That is true........cough........:o

audi4444

just think of brian cowen:D

Son Of A Vidic

Leave the fantasies where they belong - in your head OP.

Dr. No

Quandary wrote: »

OP here - cheers for the jokes folks

So has this genuinely ever happened to anyone ye know? Doctor/Nurse or patient?

Most of my female work colleagues have experienced it at some point. Nothing to get excited over really

starbelgrade

audi4444 wrote: »

just think of brian cowen:D

What if that was the cause of the boner?

Gummy Panda

They flick the guys balls to make him lose the erection. I saw it on the internets

Latchy

It was quite common in hospitals for the porters ( pre-op ) to be called upon to shave the male patients down there so unintended erections were usually in the minority .

SeaFields

Remember those stiffy's you'd get in school. Staring at a hot teachers arse all class. I bet she knew too. Ah the memories.

/wipes tear

michael999999

they shave off a patch of hair and prod it with a stun gun!!!

erogonamalu

Dr. No wrote: »

Most of my female work colleagues have experienced it at some point. Nothing to get excited over really

sheet its gone unisex now darn

winston82

SeaFields wrote: »

Remember those stiffy's you'd get in school. Staring at a hot teachers arse all class. I bet she knew too. Ah the memories.

/wipes tear

Oh, the mammaries...

/gets tissues