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Whats the worst state you were in after drinks?

Subtle Troll

I have a sore head, I dropped my hat in the toilet and its soaked, I puked in a bag for life and left it in the sink, I am naked, my pants are all pissy because I had some trouble at the urinal last night so I smell also of the wee.

What about you, can you be a classy guy too?

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markc1184

I have been in that bad of a state that I fell asleep beside the DJ booth and then when i got out of the taxi I went asleep on my driveway between the car and the sitting room window!!

Sauve

While in college, went out to a local club with a gang for 'just one or two' as I had to be up at 7am the next morning to go to Tipperary with my mother for a family get-together (4hr drive so had to be in good form).
One of my mates at the time was a barman there with only a few shifts left so was doling out massive cocktails for next to nothing. Who was I to refuse?!

Don't remember much of the night, getting home etc but I do remember when my mum called for me she took one look at me and told me to go back to bed, I was in no state to spend the day with my entire family.

Stubborn-ness, drunken-ness and guilt took over so I insisted that I'd be fine, Id sleep the whole way down and would be sound by the time we got there. Grabbed a cushion, climbed into the back seat and tried to sleep. Bad idea.

Half an hour down the road she had to pull over so I cold puke, and every half hour after that for the entire journey.
When we eventually got to my uncles' house (who I hadnt seen in years), poor mother had to usher me down to the spare room, told everyone I had a terrible migraine, and came to get me when all the fun was over and I had to endure the journey the whole way back.

In fairness, I got no stick at all from mammy, she must've thought I'd suffered enough!
Mortified.......

orourkeda

Sadly I have quite a catalogue of alcohol induced f*ckedness.

I ended up in a house party one night with a girl I really fancied. When we arrived we were told that the door latch was a little loose and to be careful when opening it. Upon leaving I tripped over a pair of shoes and knocked the latch off and making it impossible to open the door.

Everyone had to leave through the window.

Scrambled egg

This morning ... my insides are crying .

Big Pussy Bonpensiero

squeakyduck wrote: »

Woke up with a guy from Leitrim in bed beside me, "ho ho ho sexy" is not the best wake up call! :eek:

An awkward morning is better than a boring night! ;-)

Dravokivich

K4t wrote: »

Actually I was referring to the 'mad' Irish lads who go on and on and on and on and on and on about their drunken exploits. Most of them don't know what they're talking about. It's an absolute shame that everything in this country revolves around drink and those who drink the most are considered heros.

Then there's Arthur's Day. Oh the ironing:rolleyes:

What's ironing got to do with a man's drunken exploits?

:pac:

punchdrunk

fell onto a table in the morrison
broken glass cut the bosses GF's knee
got thrown onto the quays
scalded my legs with the black coffee they tried to use to sober me up
mates mother took me home to his house
fell asleep on the jacks
tried to piss in his wardrobe
puked on his floor and tried to hide it with paper from his printer

that was a good night!!

Dravokivich

The worst I was ever in...

Was 19, few days before going 20... completely fúcked myself up and tore my stomach to bits... couldn't eat for 3 days... didn't drink again for a year...

pablomakaveli

When i was 18 i went out with a group of co-workers and by the end of the night i was in some state. My cousin had bought me loads of drinks and shots during the night which was why i was so bad. Anyway we were in a club and as i was sitting in a chair i suddenly started vomiting over myself and i ran into the bathroom and got sick in the urinal. I then decided i'd had enough and decided to go home. For some reason i thought it would be a good idea to walk home (home is about 20 miles away). After walking for a few minutes i phoned my dad to come collect me. My cousin kept ringing me but i could barely talk at this stage. I ended up sitting down at the side of the road and falling asllep. Luckily my dad found me.

Another bad time was the night before Paddys day 2 years ago. I drank way too much and i could'nt remember anything between leaving the club and going home. The next day i woke up at home. I got up and noticed a big wet patch on the floor near my brand new tv. I realized that i got up at some point during the night and pissed on my tv. I also found out from my parents that i had vomited all over the bathroom.

Chaotic_Forces

K4t wrote: »

Actually I was referring to the 'mad' Irish lads who go on and on and on and on and on and on about their drunken exploits. Most of them don't know what they're talking about. It's an absolute shame that everything in this country revolves around drink and those who drink the most are considered heros.

Then there's Arthur's Day. Oh the ironing:rolleyes:

Ooh... Well let's be honst, they're bleedin' deadly like!

I agree with you, feckin' idiots, shoot 'em all.

K4t

Chaotic_Forces wrote: »

Actually whenever I was out and saw people from North America they usually would be drunk after 5/6/7 pints and stop. We (as Irish and generally younger people) keep going and going, it's just how the Irish and (the UK and I assume most of Europe).
I was told before by a lot of people that I'll "regret" not drinking when I was a teenager. Lo and behold, I start drinking at 18 and 4 years later I'm capable of going out and enjoying the drink whereas my friends get sh*t-faced beyond belief.
It isn't that people like that don't know what a session is; it's that they don't aim to get hammered.

There's a big difference in every "session". For example one night I had two pints and one jack and coke... I could barely get out of bed the next day. Another time I drank about... 8 cans and 3 jack and cokes and while I was fairly drunk I didn't feel it at all the next morning.

Actually I was referring to the 'mad' Irish lads who go on and on and on and on and on and on about their drunken exploits. Most of them don't know what they're talking about. It's an absolute shame that everything in this country revolves around drink and those who drink the most are considered heros.

Then there's Arthur's Day. Oh the ironing:rolleyes:

sleepyescapade

my messiest/most embarrassing state after alcohol was when i randomly went out with a friend one night, i hadn't had much to eat beforehand but decided it would be great idea to split a bottle of wine, have some vodka and then leave for the bar/club. have more shots in the bar area. decided it was important to keep up with my friend (who could handle the amount). texted the world, cue more drinking in club area and have random blurs of trying to dance but failing (and falling) miserably. a member of security staff noticed my state and escorted me out (

)

friend brought me back to her apartment where i discovered i'd left my phone back at the club . talked rubbish while she tried to sober me up by feeding me. thought a closet was the bathroom, tried to get in there.

woke up the next morning in bed to discover i'd somehow removed my clothes and my contact lenses by myself. do not remember. staff in the club found my phone.

babyfratelli_x

Woke up in a cell in a Galway garda station with no memory of how or why I was there.

On an exchange trip to France, woke up in my teachers house (wearing her pyjamas?! ) covered from head to toe in cuts and bruises, again with no memory of how id gotten there.

Woke up with a vague memory of bein outside a certain niteclub, but couldnt actualy remember bein inside. was told that i had been refused in for bein 2 drunk, decided to run past the bouncer, got caught, struggled and knocked him to the ground. I'm now barred

woke up with a black eye and covered in blood while on holiday. Again no memory of what happened, but have been left with a scar on my head....

And as recently as last Saturday, woken up by my dad in the kitchen at half 7 in da mornin, after fallin asleep tryna make food when i came in.... ooops :P

I go out a LOT tho and am usually sensible. These are just the few rare exceptions

orourkeda

I was at a football match in the u.k about 10\11 years ago with a group of lads. The game was on a saturday. We woke up at about 8 am the following morning and went straight to the first pub we could find and went straight on the pints. A pub crawl developed and I ended drinking a fair gut full of booze.

Anyhow, we arrived at the airport and checked in and all the usual business that evening.

Someone had bought a load of cans that were going to go to waste so were passed around shortly before we were due to board. I opened the can of beer but was not going to finish it before boarding the plane. Instead of just throwing the can aside i put it into the pocket of my light blue jeans. At this stage of the day I could barely see straight but all drunks somehow have the ability to make themselves seem sober when necessary. I boarded the plane but was so drunk that I could not fasten the safety belt. I was caught by the trolley dolly knotting the belt and in addition i had forgotten I had put the can of beer in my pocket and it had spilled all down the leg of my light blue jeans making it look like I had wet myself. I tried to finish off the can in front of her at which point I was removed from the plane and forced to get a flight home the following morning. I had to sleep in the airport but thankfully only got hit for £25 the following morning.

littlefriend

problemchimp wrote: »

a kebab, took a bite and woke up next morning with the bite of kebab still in my mouth unchewed.

That is the funniest thing I have ever read.

greenmachine88

I drank quite a bit at a halloween party, threw up the morning I walked home from the party and had a two day hangover.

Chaotic_Forces

caspa307 wrote: »

i honestly couldnt tell ya what was in them but they were all depth charges

WTF is a depth charge? I've had a few shots in a pint glass with a mixer but again... the Hell is a depth charger?

caspa307

Chaotic_Forces wrote: »

You do realize that one 35ml of a 37% spirit is about half a pint, right? So it could and should have been that you drank about 9 pints quickly is more than most people have on a "calm" night out... never mind your birthday.:D

i honestly couldnt tell ya what was in them but they were all depth charges

Chaotic_Forces

yellowlabrador wrote: »

My daughters birthday is xmas eve and she was abroad for her 21st. I was on the phone to her that evening, missing her and drinking brandy. Unbeknown to me, my son was topping up the glass and I ended up drinking a whole bottle. I woke up xmas morning at 6am in a freezing cold bath, with my 2 dogs, heads leaning on the edge of the bath, and whining. Needles to say, there was no xmas dinner that year. I normally barely drink a glass of sherry in a whole year.
My daughter told me the next day that I was crying down the telephone, telling her that I wanted her to become a baby again.

Aren't the kids meant to be getting hammered? :P

Ah well, at least you know you still love her.

yellowlabrador

My daughters birthday is xmas eve and she was abroad for her 21st. I was on the phone to her that evening, missing her and drinking brandy. Unbeknown to me, my son was topping up the glass and I ended up drinking a whole bottle. I woke up xmas morning at 6am in a freezing cold bath, with my 2 dogs, heads leaning on the edge of the bath, and whining. Needles to say, there was no xmas dinner that year. I normally barely drink a glass of sherry in a whole year.
My daughter told me the next day that I was crying down the telephone, telling her that I wanted her to become a baby again.

3hn2givr7mx1sc

Not gonna say the whole story in case anyone that was there is on here 'cos I won't hear the end of it.:P

Anyway, ended up as me sitting in the Father's car listening to 2FM at 4 0'clock in the morning whilst half asleep, then puked about 6 times out the car door(only got a teeny bit on myself:cool:). I then proceeded to sing:
"I wanna go home!
I wanna go hoo-oome,
This isn't the best trip
I've ever been on."

To this tune:

I wasn't even two miles from home.:o

I also deestroyed a hotel room with puke, like the bed, bedroom floor, the bathroom and again I stayed fairly clean. I then slept on a very uncomfortable chair pretty much naked with no covers. At a family wedding, I may add.>.<

Terry

ashblag wrote: »

Couldn't get a taxi home one night, I was flaming.
so decided to go into the town cop shop and ask for a lift home:D Too dangerous for a girl to be walking home on her own!
One obliged and seemed quite amuzed at my whitty drunken banter.

Morfitied the next day though. The whole estate talking about me.

Heh. I did that once.
Someone started throwing stones at a friend's brother. One hit him in the head and he ended up falling into the Liffey.
I arrived at the same time as the ambulance and decided it would be a good idea to accompany him to the hospital.
Then I realised that I was 8 miles from home and had no money.
The Blanchardstown Gardaí were good enough to drop me home.

Chaotic_Forces wrote: »

You do realize that one 35ml is about half a pint, right? So it could and should have been that you drank about 9 pints quickly is more than most people have on a "calm" night out... never mind your birthday.:D

A pint is 568ml.

Anyway, my mid to late teens were quite eventful, and not in a good way.

Christmas day 1991. I had decided to give up smoking hash. I had bought a quarter (back then a quarter was a quarter) hallowe'en night. I had enough left for one good joint.

My cousin asked me to go down to her house and bring up the bag of bottle of spirits that she had. I decided to open a bottle of whiskey on the way up. Drank about 2/3 of it on the short walk.
Just before I got home, I met a friend. He asked if I had any hash. I went to take it out of my pocket, but it dropped on the ground. I told him that if he could find it (I was far too drunk at this stage) that he could keep it.

So I got home, was thrown out for being too drunk and met the friend in my driveway. He had found the hash.

Three hours are missing.

Then I was on the other side of the town and was threatening a gang of people. I still had the bottle of whiskey in my hand.
Luckily enough I came to my senses and nothing happened.

Earlier the same year I attended a family wedding in the Killiney Court hotel.
My Father bought me lots of pints. I ended up puking all over the steps at the entrance.
There was a coach bringing us home. I continued to puke on the bus. Half a peach was left on a seat. I moved to the opposite seat and watched as someone sat down there. A few people started telling him to get up because someone had puked there. When he got up, the half peach was gone. I laughed.

I didn't speak to that side of the family for another 11 years, and have not spoken to them since 2002. They don't really like me.

I am not proud of those days.

LizT

The best had to be when my sister got really drunk one night and I had to bring her home to my mother. She was practically collapsed over the kitchen table, telling us she had brought shame to the family and everyone thought she was a disgrace. My mum told her to cop onto herself, it was only one night. Then she told her to have some andrews salt to settle her stomach. My sister raised her head off the table and asked "Who's Andrew?". Me and my mother were in stiches in the kitchen and I have never let her forget that night.

Chaotic_Forces

K4t wrote: »

I find that those who proclaim and marvel about how drunk they were and how hungover they always are (on facebook and such) etc etc are the ones who have never experienced what a serious drinking session actually involves. They are probably better off in their ignorance though.

Actually whenever I was out and saw people from North America they usually would be drunk after 5/6/7 pints and stop. We (as Irish and generally younger people) keep going and going, it's just how the Irish and (the UK and I assume most of Europe).
I was told before by a lot of people that I'll "regret" not drinking when I was a teenager. Lo and behold, I start drinking at 18 and 4 years later I'm capable of going out and enjoying the drink whereas my friends get sh*t-faced beyond belief.
It isn't that people like that don't know what a session is; it's that they don't aim to get hammered.

There's a big difference in every "session". For example one night I had two pints and one jack and coke... I could barely get out of bed the next day. Another time I drank about... 8 cans and 3 jack and cokes and while I was fairly drunk I didn't feel it at all the next morning.

dan185

ivanalolipop wrote: »

at a friends party got extremely drunk spent most of the time in the toilet throwing up. i fell ontop of a glass and smashed it! was sorta hard to explain the ring shaped bruise on my leg to people at my swimming class! haha! but i still managed to score after that! but then the next day my friends dad had to stop the car multiple times for me to puke.

night before paddys we all went to the pub i downed a bottle of wine and about 3 double vodkas! i compleatly blacked out! last thing i remember was climing over a fence into the park! then i wake up the next day in my friends jeep with dryed blood on my face with the biggest gash on my forehead! everyone then told me that the night before i came out as a lesbian and told them that i was in love with my best friend!!! i even rang her to tell her i wanted to **** her! they also told me how i went to pee behinde a tree but i fell over and just lay there laughing with my trousers around my ankles!

interesting!

squeakyduck

I have woken up in a hotel room that I have covered in my own vomit with my angry mother screaming at me!

I have woken up cuddled up with Joyce's' "Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man" and after that I threw up for about 3 hours straight....

Woke up with a guy from Leitrim in bed beside me, "ho ho ho sexy" is not the best wake up call! :eek:

After my last exam in undergrad I drank like a bottle and a half of wine in just over an hour and I threw up in the bathroom of TGI's crying to my best friend about how much I loved her.....

K4t

I find that those who proclaim and marvel about how drunk they were and how hungover they always are (on facebook and such) etc etc are the ones who have never experienced what a serious drinking session actually involves. They are probably better off in their ignorance though.

flyton5

On my 6th year holiday in Ayia Napa I got horribly drunk on Cyprus Shock(like After Shock but local and even worse than the real thing) and managed to puke into a flower pot in a Flintstones themed restaurant in front of several horrified families....oh good times.

Here's a picture of said incident.
Attachment not found.

-Corkie-

I got so so drunk one night in Carlow. Drank nearly a half a bottle of sambuka after a wagon load of pints. I fell asleep while crawling across the street. Whatever happened then I was very sore when i woke up.

I must put this away now because my missus has caught me staring at biggins signature three times. My god I am in love with someones signature....... HELP........................................

bonzos

I got ****faced one nite last week on carlsberg,sang a few songs and took the piss out of some golfer.....turns out some muppet wanted to do an interview with me the next morning before I could get the fry(cure).Next thing I know Im on the news in 26 countrys and everyone wants me sacked!!!!top that