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My Cooker Is Trying To Kill Me

JONJO THE MISER

I Knew it wasnt all in my head or just being drunk, for the past few months i had the sneaky suspicion that all was not right with my trusted cooker, cooking up my favourite dish of sirloin steak onions and mushrooms and fried poatatoes at 4am after a feed of porter was a 3- 4 times weekly ritual, however i had noticed that the cooker used to go on the blink and i was sure it was playing tricks on me giving my inebriated state, id walk away from the cooker for a few minutes and next thing it would me turned off, after i had finished cooking i often returned to the kitchen and the gas was still on even when i remembered turing it off:eek:.
Now this would never happen during daylight hours, i was getting very worried about this either i was a absent minded alcoholic or my cooker was processed by a evil sprit intend on killing me.
Yes all was not right in JONJO'S Kitchen and i was agust to get to the bottom of this when reading Yesterday's newspaper i came acroos this http://www.independent.ie/national-news/warning-of-deadly-risks-from-faulty-gas-cookers-2299821.html

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laugh

Flog her!

starbelgrade

That's gas.

KevinVonSpiel

JONJO THE MISER wrote: »

I Knew it wasnt all in my head or just being drunk, for the past few months i had the sneaky suspicion that all was not right with my trusted cooker, cooking up my favourite dish of sirloin steak onions and mushrooms and fried poatatoes at 4am after a feed of porter was a 3- 4 times weekly ritual, however i had noticed that the cooker used to go on the blink and i was sure it was playing tricks on me giving my inebriated state, id walk away from the cooker for a few minutes and next thing it would me turned off, after i had finished cooking i often returned to the kitchen and the gas was still on even when i remembered turing it off:eek:.
Now this would never happen during daylight hours, i was getting very worried about this either i was a absent minded alcoholic or my cooker was processed by a evil sprit intend on killing me.
Yes all was not right in JONJO'S Kitchen and i was agust to get to the bottom of this when reading Yesterday's newspaper i came acroos this http://www.independent.ie/national-news/warning-of-deadly-risks-from-faulty-gas-cookers-2299821.html

Well, maybe if you took your cooker out for dinner once in a while, this kind of thing wouldn't happen... you cheap bastard!

starlit

Maybe the cooker puts on the gas itself? You probably need AA or that your just absent minded and forget things or your just have a poor short term memory and you forgot to turn it on or off.

bazmaiden

inb4 cool story bro

starbelgrade

Out before the explosion.

InTheTrees

I looked at this thread without my glasses on and thought it said "Ry Cooder is trying to kill me"

bazmaiden

InTheTrees wrote: »

I looked at this thread without my glasses on and thought it said "Ry Cooder is trying to kill me"

thats some pretty good eyesight ya got there bro :cool:

lucky-colm

sur that's gas ted

Mr Benevolent

Why isn't the OP blaming the bleedin' forners?

DOC09UNAM

starbelgrade wrote: »

That's gas.

I appreciate this one if nobody else does.

Gummy Panda

JONJO THE MISER wrote: »

I Knew it wasnt all in my head or just being drunk, for the past few months i had the sneaky suspicion that all was not right with my trusted cooker, cooking up my favourite dish of sirloin steak onions and mushrooms and fried poatatoes at 4am after a feed of porter was a 3- 4 times weekly ritual

WTF! go to bed and stop going into work smelling if grease, onion and porter.

Jesus Wept

I got a leaflet in the door about this last week, I shoud have sent you a pm Jonjo.

Saibh

Think the cooker is protesting.

Any time people are worried that their cooker is not working correctly we urge them to stop using it and get it checked by a registered gas operator

Get it checked out.

MardiB

JONJO THE MISER wrote: »

I Knew it wasnt all in my head or just being drunk, for the past few months i had the sneaky suspicion that all was not right with my trusted cooker, cooking up my favourite dish of sirloin steak onions and mushrooms and fried poatatoes at 4am after a feed of porter was a 3- 4 times weekly ritual, however i had noticed that the cooker used to go on the blink and i was sure it was playing tricks on me giving my inebriated state, id walk away from the cooker for a few minutes and next thing it would me turned off, after i had finished cooking i often returned to the kitchen and the gas was still on even when i remembered turing it off:eek:.
Now this would never happen during daylight hours, i was getting very worried about this either i was a absent minded alcoholic or my cooker was processed by a evil sprit intend on killing me.
Yes all was not right in JONJO'S Kitchen and i was agust to get to the bottom of this when reading Yesterday's newspaper i came acroos this http://www.independent.ie/national-news/warning-of-deadly-risks-from-faulty-gas-cookers-2299821.html

It's not your cooker thats going to kill you but your clogged arteries:D

starlit

Being pist and gased is not a very good combustion for you and your cooker OP.

carbsy

MardiB wrote: »

It's not your cooker thats going to kill you but your clogged arteries:D

Yes, I concur.Give the 4am fry ups a break.Infact give the fry ups a break, period.Then get you're oversized balooba fatty arse down to AA ffs.

JONJO THE MISER

Gummy Panda wrote: »

WTF! go to bed and stop going into work smelling if grease, onion and porter.

Aww they dont mind down the dole office as long as your there before 12 to sign on.

AskMyChocolate

Jaysus Jonjo. You're not going to be luring many Rose of Tralee contestants back to a house that isn't safe,regardless of your charm and excellent analysis.

starlit

Your cooker must be going on strike so!

Einhard

cooking up my favourite dish of sirloin steak onions and mushrooms and fried poatatoes at 4am after a feed of porter was a 3- 4 times weekly ritual,

MardiB wrote: »

It's not your cooker thats going to kill you but your clogged arteries:D

But mushrooms and potatoes count as part of his 5 a day!!

HorsesNHarleys

Just curious, at any point did you consider sprinkling holy water on the cooker to get rid of the evil spirits?:D

Pdfile

JONJO THE MISER wrote: »

I Knew it wasnt all in my head or just being drunk, for the past few months i had the sneaky suspicion that all was not right with my trusted cooker, cooking up my favourite dish of sirloin steak onions and mushrooms and fried poatatoes at 4am after a feed of porter was a 3- 4 times weekly ritual, however i had noticed that the cooker used to go on the blink and i was sure it was playing tricks on me giving my inebriated state, id walk away from the cooker for a few minutes and next thing it would me turned off, after i had finished cooking i often returned to the kitchen and the gas was still on even when i remembered turing it off:eek:.
Now this would never happen during daylight hours, i was getting very worried about this either i was a absent minded alcoholic or my cooker was processed by a evil sprit intend on killing me.
Yes all was not right in JONJO'S Kitchen and i was agust to get to the bottom of this when reading Yesterday's newspaper i came acroos this http://www.independent.ie/national-news/warning-of-deadly-risks-from-faulty-gas-cookers-2299821.html

jasus, have you got anyone out to look at the thing, have you gotten a qoute...

did ye hit boiling point at the price to fix it ??

:rolleyes:

JONJO THE MISER

Pdfile wrote: »

jasus, have you got anyone out to look at the thing, have you gotten a qoute...

did ye hit boiling point at the price to fix it ??

:rolleyes:

Some guy from the cooker company will be out to fix it, and here was me thinking i would get a brand new cooker:(

DOC09UNAM

JONJO THE MISER wrote: »

Some guy from the cooker company will be out to fix it, and here was me thinking i would get a brand new cooker:(

Regardless jonjo you started something amazing last night.

Glad to see you're getting it sorted though.

Sykk

JONJO THE MISER wrote: »

I Knew it wasnt all in my head or just being drunk, for the past few months i had the sneaky suspicion that all was not right with my trusted cooker, cooking up my favourite dish of sirloin steak onions and mushrooms and fried poatatoes at 4am after a feed of porter was a 3- 4 times weekly ritual, however i had noticed that the cooker used to go on the blink and i was sure it was playing tricks on me giving my inebriated state, id walk away from the cooker for a few minutes and next thing it would me turned off, after i had finished cooking i often returned to the kitchen and the gas was still on even when i remembered turing it off:eek:.
Now this would never happen during daylight hours, i was getting very worried about this either i was a absent minded alcoholic or my cooker was processed by a evil sprit intend on killing me.
Yes all was not right in JONJO'S Kitchen and i was agust to get to the bottom of this when reading Yesterday's newspaper i came acroos this http://www.independent.ie/national-news/warning-of-deadly-risks-from-faulty-gas-cookers-2299821.html

Ok so you're getting pissed 3/4 nights a week and eating like a king. You don't work during the day as your making dinner at 4am so it's safe to assume you're unemployed? The dole pay out some amount nowadays!?! Correct me if I'm wrong..

DOC09UNAM

Sykk wrote: »

Ok so you're getting pissed 3/4 nights a week and eating like a king. You don't work during the day as your making dinner at 4am so it's safe to assume you're unemployed? The dole pay out some amount nowadays!?! Correct me if I'm wrong..

Wow, take that shít elsewhere man, no need to turn this into a "we hate the dole" thread.

Hal1

Keep an eye an adverts free stuff, and you might be lucky enough to get a free cooker. :pac:

BluesBerry

Hal1 wrote: »

Keep an eye an adverts free stuff, and you might be lucky enough to get a free cooker. :pac:

Everybody else keep an eye in case the serial killer cooker pops up there too:eek: