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Child Item

Let's try another story - just ONE line per contributor

sudoku987

He stood and stared at the three hundred year old oak tree in the middle of the field, his long black hair blowing in the April breeze and the enormous pink boar beside him munching on the grass.

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cbyrd

as per the instructions on the pack, he was wondering why they were talking about

Star Lord

adopting an orangutang and naming it Sir Theobald Gregory McDickerson III, the duke of milk that you're not quite sure if it's gone off or not, so you give it a sniff, but still aren't sure.

cbyrd

and whether to hold a christening and invite the local masher society after the conflict of 1999 where the banana's completely lost their heads

Star Lord

and their virginity, but that was a story for another day. In the meantime, he had to figure out a way to solve his rubix cube without anyone noticing...

cbyrd

him taking the pieces out and putting them back in order. then he saw some dirty white socks with

Star Lord

his eyes.

cbyrd

that had developed new super powers so he could

CosmicCrusader

Use his new found X-ray vision to solve the rubix cube without taking it from his pocket, then unleashing the radioactive material that hid within the colourful cube.

geoffraffe

His mother has told him not to hide the radioactive material there, so he gagged her with old belts, that belonged to the badger next door and did it anyway.

2manyconditions

Suddenly, something grabbed him from behind and...

sNarah

Oh no!!!
Not the pineapples again!!!!!!!! RRUUUUNNNNN

CosmicCrusader

he screamed loudly, but he was too late, the pineapple had already been forced into his rectum by leather wearing drag queen.

Deki

Who was quite happily flashing smiles at everyone and texting non stop to a friend.

TimberMerchant

then suddenly He/She was grabbed from behind and she dropped her telly bingo cards..

Deki

...straight down the sewer grate and that was just the very last straw!

sNarah

Sorry Deki actually meant: That was the last strawberry.

star.chaser

but luckily stephen hawkins just happened to be close by training for the paralympics and used one of the spokes from a wheel to fish the ticket back out of the drain

sNarah

You forgot to include the strawberry :eek:

cbyrd

but luckily stephen hawkins just happened to be close by training for the paralympics and used one of the spokes from a wheel to fish the ticket back out of the drain

and stuck to it was a squashed strawberry, he fell to his knees shaking a fist at the heaven's......"why....why the last strawberry..........????" "noooooo"

CosmicCrusader

But suddenly Stephen had an idea, rememeberin what he had read as a teenager; that the strawberry existed in a superposition, a state in which the strawberry is both squashed and not squashed; he then uses Einstein's theory of general relativity to travel back in time to another universe where the strawberry is not squashed!

billymitchell

But then I happened to wander by with some lovely strawberries that I just purchased from a lovely roadside vendor, and gave one to Mr Hawking. He was pleased.

Funkfield

Pleased as Punch, but not as good looking.

2manyconditions

and his hair looked a bit greasy cause he hadn't washed it in 3 days because

star.chaser

the artane boys band were offering free tickets to their gig at the tesco carpark for anyone who refrained from washing for three days

cbyrd

but by the time he got to the car park it was over cos he'd slipped into a wormhole on the way there and ended up in

sNarah

and then he died from a massive heart-attack!!!!

star.chaser

but with an even bigger stroke of luck, stephen hawkins happened to be doing another lap of his practice route and used the battery from his voicebox to shock him back to life

sNarah

Unfortunalty the battery of the voicebox then exploxed right in his face and killed him - this time with no chance of revival at all.

Edinduberdeen

And so, all of the woodland animals put aside their petty differences to gather and mourn for him - particularly upset was the badger who

sNarah

The badger who was hit in the face by the scalding hot burning battery and now only has one eye left. And dies later in the story. But I wasn't supposed to tell you that yet. Ah well. Sorry folks. I'll go now and shut up. O, look a little ball! Great for playing with! Fun! I'd recommend having a ball to everyone! Yeah, t is true, yeah he dies, no no, not yet, first there's a lot of blahblah about forest animals and death and unlikely scenarios. Hm. HM. Haha, yeah, I totally agree with that! He is just so like that, hahahahaha!