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Child Item

There's no point shouting at Bees ...

Banned Account

So there I was, driving home this evening on a long country road with no hard shoulder, listening to some tunes and letting the mind wander, the song that was playing came to an end and the next thing I hear;

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Buzzbuzzbuzzbuzzbuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbuzzbuzz

So I had a look in the rear view mirror half expecting to see Wazdakka and his ninja vuvuzela, but no, I was on my own (or so I thought).

I shook my head and smiled slightly as the next song came on and focused on the road ahead. Then I heard it again:

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Buzzbuzzbuzzbuzzbuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbuzzbuzz

Right, what the fcuk is that! The stereo went off and I looked into the mirror again and saw the bistard - a big fcukin' angry bee - buzzin around the back window like a motafooka.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Buzzbuzzbuzzbuzzbuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbuzzbuzz

Now, bear in mind that I'm in a line of traffic doing 90kph on a narrow country road, and this yoke looks really pissed off - normally I don't mind bees - they just buzz around shagging flowers (wasps are a different story - they're like unionists - always angry and looking to sting) - but this guy was definately having a strop.

So I opened the back windows hoping that he'd feck off - wrong!

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Buzzbuzzbuzzbuzzbuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbuzzbuzz

This just pissed him off even more - at this stage he had begun attempting to fly towards me and I could see his eye's squinting with rage. Getting a bit panicked and not having anywhere to pull in, I decided that the best thing to do would be to scare him away from me by making noise - so I started shouting at him.

"Feck off ya bollix" I roared "gwan ya cockjugglingthundercnut" etc etc.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Buzzbuzzbuzzbuzzbuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbuzzbuzz

At this stage, the traffic had come to a temporary stop to let someone turn right, I had all the windows open and was roaring expletives at the top of my voice "gwan, fcukoff or I'll pull the bollix off ya! ..."

I kept the tirade running and as the traffic pulled off again, I noticed a middle aged couple out walking their dog across the road peering in at me slack-jawed like they had seen the baby jebus.

Anyhoo, in the wind up, I finally came to a place where I could pull in - i put the flashers on and unbuckled the seat belt and as I reached for the handle, I felt it :eek:

Stung - right on the back of my friggin ear - little angry bistard!

So the moral of the story is don't shout at bees - it'll end in tears.

What would you have done?

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Comments

ciano1

Buzz off!

Biggins

Fitzcaraldo wrote: »

...What would you have done?

Stopped reading after the first line if I had any sense!

alwaysadub

Not driven around with the window open-don't let the fcuker in in the 1st place!

SadieSue

He wouldn't beehave!

IvySlayer

Don't drive in a BeeMW.

Banned Account

alwaysadub wrote: »

Not driven around with the window open-don't let the fcuker in in the 1st place!

I didn't - he must have got in at the same time as me - or earlier when I was getting out. Was lucky I didn't crash - trying to drive and keep an eye on where he was in the mirror:(

stovelid

It's the white-arses you have to watch out for.

laugh

Did you try French or German?

Indubitable

tl;dr

/end thread

**Timbuk2**

If God exists, why did he make bees and wasps? I would love to get each and every bee and wasp, douse it in petrol and burn it.

ElaElaElano

Very predictable, you just knew there'd be a sting in the tale. Must have been quite a beelittling experience all the same.

Ah no, I'm only buzzin off ya.

Dante

Did anyone else see the word 'bzzzzzzzzzzzz' and just presume this had something to do with a vuvuzela?

[Deleted User]

is it a bee? is it a wasp?
noooo, it's a vuvuzela

bmw535d

**Timbuk2** wrote: »

If God exists, why did he make bees and wasps? I would love to get each and every bee and wasp, douse it in petrol and burn it.

if bees didn't exist we would all die of starvation,so thank f*ck for them, however wasp's, i have no idea what he was thinking.

[Deleted User]

bmw535d wrote: »

if bees didn't exist we would all die of starvation,so thank f*ck for them, however wasp's, i have no idea what he was thinking.

I'd say they were his rough draft. Kinda like Adam.

Indubitable

**Timbuk2** wrote: »

If God exists, why did he make bees and wasps? I would love to get each and every bee and wasp, douse it in petrol and burn it.

We can't live without bees.

I was beaten to it.

But if gods exists he wouldn't need to create bees to make the world live.

Cakes.

**Timbuk2** wrote: »

If God exists, why did he make bees and wasps? I would love to get each and every bee and wasp, douse it in petrol and burn it.

Yeh or he could have even left the stingers off them so all they could do was pollenate :P:P

ColaBeDamned

bmw535d wrote: »

if bees didn't exist we would all die of starvation,so thank f*ck for them, however wasp's, i have no idea what he was thinking.

Never mind starvation, no bees = no crunchies, no toblerones etc :eek::(

starbelgrade

Man stung in car by bee. Can't wait for the film of the story. Should be epic.

[Deleted User]

A wasp followed me up the stairs once just to sting me, bastard :mad:

ascanbe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4MqTCIDKhU

starbelgrade

bluewolf wrote: »

A wasp followed me up the stairs once just to sting me, bastard :mad:

Could be worse. Could've been....

bluewolf wrote: »

A wasp followed me up the stairs once just to sting me b*llix :mad:

[Deleted User]

starbelgrade wrote: »

Could be worse. Could've been....

I don't have any "bollix". thankfully.
the arm was bad enough anyway!

Sonnenblumen

You've got a bee's ear !

jd007

What kind of bees make milk?

Boobees

/coat

Banned Account

What's the most dangerous bee in the world?

The hepatitis bee

/follows jd007:o

ejmaztec

Perfect for driving

reallyrose

kingofthe3rdyrs wrote: »

I was beaten to it.

bee-ten.

Standard Toaster

Who is the bees favorite singer?

Sting!

/Stabs self in eye

chin_grin

Fitzcaraldo wrote: »

So there I was, driving home this evening on a long country road with no hard shoulder, listening to some tunes and letting the mind wander, the song that was playing came to an end and the next thing I hear;

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Buzzbuzzbuzzbuzzbuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzbuzzbuz

Stung - right on the back of my friggin ear - little angry bistard!

So the moral of the story is don't shout at bees - it'll end in tears.

What would you have done?

Cool story bro.