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What's the worst passenger you've been stuck with on a bus, train or plane?

Cavehill Red

Following on from the debate about the driver who threw the feckless mum and her yelling child off the bus in Britain, I wonder what's the worst passenger you've been stuck next to on a bus, train or plane?
Was it a yelling kid being ignored by their parents? Or was it some hugely obese person whose lard spilled over into your personal space? Some drunk gobsh!te? A thuggish little chav carving his initials into the seat with a flick knife? Someone with appalling hygiene whose stink had you choking? Or something else again?
What's the worst passenger you've been stuck with on a bus, train or plane?

(PS: Mod, any chance of a poll on this one?)

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GAAman

Penisland wrote: »

I was incredibly hungover on a pretty long plane journey and the guy in front of me pushed his seat ALL the way back so I very politely asked me to push it forward a little......told me to go **** myself.....so had the ingenious idea of turning on my air con all the way up and directing it forward at his head.......pissed him rite off for the whole journey

I had my fun and thats all that matters!! :D:D

Same thing happened to me but his chair was broken so it went further then it should have, was practically on my lap. When he told me to f*ck myself i started slammin my palms into the back of the seat as hard as i could and told him i would be doing it for the rest of the four hour journey

Oh and the bus was packed before anyone asks why i didnt just move

PeterIanStaker

Large family of sunburnt scangers on the same bus as me about a year ago. One had a toddler that wouldn't stop screaming and crying - it never occurred to its mother, who was about 17 max, to, I dunno, feed the child or whatever you do with them.

Another time on the train this hefty wench wouldnt stop slapping her kid for getting out of his seat. So glad I'd my Mp3 player.

445279.ie

On a ten hour flight back from San Fransisco, the guy next to me starting snoring before we even got in the air. To make it worse, I'd left my ipod in my checked in luggage and my tv wasn't working :mad:

Got a few free drinks from the air hostess who felt sorry for me

Galadriel

Some old woman sitting beside me picking her nose and flicking it, I learned a valuable lesson....NEVER sit down stairs, the old and the odd rarely make it up the stairs.

Kiwi_knock

Worst was when I was on heading to Ethiopia. It consisted of two plane journeys and the connection between the two flights was only 30 mins. Soon after take off from Dublin one of the lads I was travelling with got sick all over himself and me. Worst of all the air hostess would not help us at all, all they did was laugh and not offer a towel to clean it up. So when we got off the flight we had no time to clean up as we had to go straight onto the next flight. So we both reeked of vomit for over 10 hours and in a confined space like an airplane it was horrible.

nachoman

Whenever i'm on the bus and beside me or a seat away you can smell the BO off some people, I feel like gagging for the rest of the journey.

owenc

When i was on a flight from Rome to stansted, it was raining nuts and the aircraft was shaking everywhere, so the pilot went up higher, it was all fine and grand, then a person was sick so moved down near me, they started to vomit all over the floor, so we went down lower again and they vomited even worse, it was such a disaster!

Cheap Thrills!

A sex tourist chav decorated in Borstal inks from ManchestUHHH who sat beside me for the 11 hours from Holland to Bangkok. He'd been to Thailand 20 times in 2 years, not for the scenery. He wouldn't have got a look in ordinarily if you get me.

He was as drunk as a lord after half an hour and was constantly ringing the bell for the hostesses to bring him more and more drinks. Eventually they started to ignore him.

He then started calling them names and shouting. He was horrible, The worst part was everyone thought I was with him

Kivaro

brummytom wrote: »

First time I got the train by myself.

There'd been some hooha about terrorists getting arrested in Brum that weekend or something.

Sat down on the seat.
Big, evil looking Asian bloke got on. 'Stop being racist, Tom' think I.
He then takes out a Koran and reads it outloud.

I moved

To Ireland?
That was a bit extreme, wasn't it.

catbear

I was on an overnight bus in Burma and an old guy a few seats across kept munching fried critters, puking them up and then gorging again until sick and did this all night long. I think he was particularly fond of the fried spiders, thank god I didn't have to sit next to him.

Another time I got stuck on a bus with this guy who was big into Michael Moore and even if you agreed with him, you were wrong. I would have perfered the old guy munching his spiders, that was a long trip.

Mr Keek

Was on a late bus a few years ago after late study in college and some middle aged lady who was quite tipsey sat beside me, she was grand until she started to talk to me.

Happened to be reading 'Mens Health' and for the whole trip this lady unaware of how loud she was went on and on about how lads mags were no different to womens mags, all about fat loss, fashion etc. She then went on the tell me and the whole bus for that matter that I wasn't fat, how I shouldn't be so self conscious and not to worry about these things etc. Was mortified!

As we got closer into town, she really took a shine to me (bearing in mind she's rather tipsey and talking REALLY LOUDLY) and started asking me out and telling me that I was a fine thing and begging me to go out for a drink with her, even inviting me to her place for a drink at this stage she was rubbing my leg and all!

All I could see was people the reflection of the windows laughing, and the people in the seat adjacent looking, even the driver had a comment for me when I was getting off the bus!

....if only she was a bit better lookin' or if I had a few drinks too, she wasn't puck!

ddef

i was once sitting next to this overweight guy on a plane who was reading a NUTS magazine. a few minutes later he went off to the toilet for a good 5-10 minutes with the magazine.....
when he got back we shared a look of mutual understanding of what went down.

damonjewel

Well first of all let me say I won't count the countless amount of times an obnoxiuous drunken skanger which gets on the Luas Tallaght line at Jervis st and gets abusive.

Worst for me was a very very jumpy nervous guy on a flight from San Fransisco to Las vegas who kept on reminding me that these things go down! and at the slightest whirr or crackle he was shouting what the fyck and calling the stewardess. Twat

sean corcoran

i was on a bus from hawkins street to sandymount and a homeless man got on, he sat down the back upstairs and i was sitting upstairs down the front. the smell this man was giving off was so bad the only way to describe it was a man who washed himself in slurry while using a dog turd as a bar of soap, and to make it worse he had a bag of decomposing meat with him that was dripping liquid,all over the place. the smell on the bus was so bad that the bus driver got sick and had to get everyone on the bus to get off, he kicked the man off the bus opened all the windows for 15 mins, got back on the bus sprayed a full can of lynx he bought in a nearby shop into the bus then we waited another 10 mins, the driver said there was nothing he could do so we had to get on the bus again with a putrid smell lurking around.

just try top that

southsiderosie

I used to take public transport every day to school (and later to work) in Chicago (and New York and Madrid), so I've seen my share of screaming matches, fistfights, buskers, egg-throwing, car-clearing BO, etc. But maybe the most memorable bus trip I took was in Nicaragua. Most mass transport is in the form of old church buses from the US, and most churches get their buses used from public school districts. So basically travelling from city to city means riding on a 20-year old third-hand bus designed for 10 year olds. Given that I am almost 6 feet tall, this is a problem.

Anyway, the typical bus ride includes a number of annoying passengers. First is the travelling medicine salesman who distributes vitamins, pills, and creams for inspection, all of which are promptly returned. He fights for space in the aisle with large backpacks, random gunnysacks full of god knows what, and the ladies selling fruit and bagged soda with ice, which are nice and cold, but will give you the ****s. Inevitably there is a small woman with large glasses who will stand in the middle of the aisle and begin lecturing in a loud voice about "el diablo" (the devil), waving a bible for emphasis. After her sermon is over, she will begin soliciting donations as well. At some point, the bus will stop in the middle of nowhere for no apparent reason, and since it is 35 degrees and all of the windows are open (no air conditioning on the used schoolbus, silly!), it will attract every fly in a 3 mile radius. Not only will babies start crying, but if you are out in the country, the roosters tied to the roof of the bus will start crowing along with them. And when the bus starts back up again, before you get to your final destination, you will witness at least three near-death accidents involving a family of five all riding on one bicycle.

Luno

Everytime I used to get the bus into town a man would get on and sit behind me with a hedge cutters which was completely rusted and he'd make snipping noise with it right above my head. It freaked me out for sure anyways!

Mr Keek

Used to get the Eurolines coach from Galway to London when we were back at school, the journey was hell & back but so cheap, got off the ferry at Hollyhead and back on the bus all set for a 9 hour trip to London, few 'pikeys' would always be in the bus too but never any problems until one round, the were changing the childs nappy on the coach and firing the dirty nappy on the floor in front of us. They also thought nothing of spitting inside the bus too.

Driver had enough of it and called ahead to the policy station, bus pulls up at Milten Keynes and a Police Landrover and Vans waiting. They were taken off and arrested on the spot. Never laughed as much, the scene they made got the whole bus chatting to one another!

Also had to witness on another trip, some fella fingering his girlfriend unaware that during the night, the reflection from the cabin light on the windows is as good as a mirror!

ddef

The worst was when this a$$hole on the bus asked me to shine his shoes all because I'm black. thank god my sister recorded it as evidence.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4OnhnvczTk

Zombienosh

sean corcoran wrote: »

i was on a bus from hawkins street to sandymount and a homeless man got on, he sat down the back upstairs and i was sitting upstairs down the front. the smell this man was giving off was so bad the only way to describe it was a man who washed himself in slurry while using a dog turd as a bar of soap, and to make it worse he had a bag of decomposing meat with him that was dripping liquid,all over the place. the smell on the bus was so bad that the bus driver got sick and had to get everyone on the bus to get off, he kicked the man off the bus opened all the windows for 15 mins, got back on the bus sprayed a full can of lynx he bought in a nearby shop into the bus then we waited another 10 mins, the driver said there was nothing he could do so we had to get on the bus again with a putrid smell lurking around.

just try top that

almost had the same story today. a random bum was let on a sat beside me, the smell, oh my god, the smell. I had to get de-loused leaving the bus.

cats.life

ddef wrote: »

i was once sitting next to this overweight guy on a plane who was reading a NUTS magazine. a few minutes later he went off to the toilet for a good 5-10 minutes with the magazine.....
when he got back we shared a look of mutual understanding of what went down.

thought you were going to say that he was thinnnner when he came back:D:D

Mr Keek

ddef wrote: »

The worst was when this a$$hole on the bus asked me to shine his shoes all because I'm black. thank god my sister recorded it as evidence.

That scene from Goodfellas with Joe Pesci beats Billy Batts to a pulp for making 'Shoe Shine' Crack at him springs to mind!

Mike 1972

Mr Keek wrote: »

Happened to be reading 'Mens Health' and for the whole trip this lady unaware of how loud she was went on and on about how lads mags were no different to womens mags, all about fat loss, fashion etc. She then went on the tell me and the whole bus for that matter that I wasn't fat, how I shouldn't be so self conscious and not to worry about these things etc.

She probably had a point though

You have to give her that :pac:

Elliemental

I was stuck on a flight from Madrid with a guy who kept getting hysterical. He stood in the aisle, shouting at the top of his voice: "We're going down, we're crashing!" He was making all the other passengers extremely jumpy and the attendants were running rings around themselves, when trying to calm him.
I wouldn't have minded, but the flight was fine. No turbulance, nothing!

Deus Ex Machina

Worst passenger ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YFlyer

A number of years ago I was sitting next to this guy on the bus between Dublin and Limerick.

Well we got talking about different things. Anyway he asked me did I do any sports. I mentioned that I did athletics, swimming and some football. He then asked if I took showers with others after training or competition.

I sidetracked the question but he still came back with the same question. It was getting creepy so I said to him in a firm voice that I don't mind talking to him but these questions are uncalled for. He did stopped asking since he realised that others on the bus would have heard me.

He got off the bus soon in Nenagh.

YFlyer

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

Worst passenger ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Must stock up in caffeine pills...

tman

Pretty much anybody with a nervous twitch in their leg (or whatever you call it)
STOP PUMPING YOUR LEG UP AND DOWN YOU ****ING FREAK! (is what I say in my head...)

who what when

mooman wrote: »

Some D4 head behind me on a plane to Italy, spent the whole 2 hours telling the stranger beside him about his new plan for a website. It was going to be bigger than Facebook from what I gather. The guy he was talking to didn't get a word in and I didn't get a wink of f*ckin sleep he was so loud. I'm getting cranky just thinking about him. It's guys like him that give dubs a bad name

No scangers give dubs a bad name

Barna77

On a 9 hour train trip two years ago, I had a hangover from hell and the posh woman sitting beside me was talking all the way about how badly she had been treated at work, about her posh friends blahddy blahddy blah. All I wanted was some rest...

On a flight to Madrid I was surrounded by Spanish D4s, talking about their cool mates in NY, Sidney, look at my new phone... eejits

On the flight back, there was this old woman sitting beside me. She was constantly fighting for the arm rest, as if I cared about it. Worst was when she began moving her denture and praying as the plane was landing. To top it all, as I was leaving the plane, she looked at me straight in the eye and swirled her denture once again. :eek:

And annoying kids sitting behind me on a flight home. And the battery of my iPod had died

tman wrote: »

Pretty much anybody with a nervous twitch in their leg (or whatever you call it)
STOP PUMPING YOUR LEG UP AND DOWN YOU ****ING FREAK! (is what I say in my head...)

I'm one of them, I'm afraid. But don't worry never happens on public transport

cynder

I was on a bus in Ireland with my 10 year old daughter. There was 2 lads behind us talking loudly about what they got up to in the bathroom with their favourite magazines, sometimes they were going into detail, everyone on the bus knew that these guys were virgins and that the enjoyed themselves a few times a day in the bathroom and other places in the house wehn there was no one home, one even said his sister let him feel her boobs.

Not forgetting i had a 10 year old girl (looks like a 12 year old)with me and she would get a stare of them now and then. i started talking loud to her in hope that i would block out what they were saying.

I think most people wanted to tell them to shut up but these days you don't know what could happen.

On a plane back form the uk i had to sit next to an oh so natural hippie she stank and had really hairy arm pits, i gagged every time i breathed and tried not to look in her direction.