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Child Item

Is Male culture crule

[Deleted User]

Not if this is realy an after hours sorta thing ...however

After reading another thread i though of this

Is male culture cruel especially to other men

I saw this about a year ago and i felt sad for the young lad involved

It was after school and about 5 or 6 young lads were out side a chipper..they were obviously friend there was a bit of messing and jostling going on with them, one of the lads was large not huge but a bit over weight..his so called friends were calling him fat bastard and slagging him about being fat and eating chips....

Now i know in male culture the ability to take a slagging is considered the mark of friendship and people thing its harmless and anyway it'll make them though.
but to me that sort of thing is bulling...or am i just being a mammy:D...

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Abrasax

mariaalice wrote: »

Not if this is realy an after hours sorta thing ...however

After reading another thread i though of this

Is male culture cruel especially to other men

I saw this about a year ago and i felt sad for the young lad involved

It was after school and about 5 or 6 young lads were out side a chipper..they were obviously friend there was a bit of messing and jostling going on with them, one of the lads was large not huge but a bit over weight..his so called friends were calling him fat bastard and slagging him about being fat and eating chips....

Now i know in male culture the ability to take a slagging is considered the mark of friendship and people thing its harmless and anyway it'll make them though.
but to me that sort of thing is bulling...or am i just being a mammy:D...

You should see this thread in The Ladies Lounge.
Cruelty isn't a male preserve.

Wazdakka

The world isn't a soft ball of marshmallow coated sugar.

Kids being dícks to each other is part of life and prepares you for adulthood.
I was bullied as a child and think I'm all the better for it.
Tougher and smarter.

It's a Dog eat dog world..

funk-you

It's better than being a girl.

-Funk

Fremen

Guys just communicate with each other in a different way than girls.

Slagging each other seems perfectly fine among a bunch of guys, in the same way that it seemed all right to run up to your mate and give him a dead leg in school.

stovelid

Change your thread title or the grammar spastics will have a field day, bless them.

seamus

Bullying requires malice or at the very least it has to be intended to hurt.

Slagging between friends is actually a display of friendship such that, "I'm comfortable saying this to you because you know I don't mean anything malicious and I know that you won't take offence to it".

Real friends won't say something which you actually find offensive. Bullies will.

OutlawPete

Pressure on young men to conform to an ideal in society has always been there.

If not 'one of the lads', then you will seen an easy target for bullying and yes, this can be cruel.

Men expressing any kind of emotional vulnerability in society is still unfortunately seen as a flaw.

Which I feel is one of the reasons young male suicide rates in this country is so high.

aDeener

seamus wrote: »

Bullying requires malice or at the very least it has to be intended to hurt.

Slagging between friends is actually a display of friendship such that, "I'm comfortable saying this to you because you know I don't mean anything malicious and I know that you won't take offence to it".

Real friends won't say something which you actually find offensive. Bullies will.

and if the person taking the slagging takes genuine offence to it, a real friend apologies and knows not to go there again

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Wazdakka wrote: »

The world isn't a soft ball of marshmallow coated sugar.

Kids being dícks to each other is part of life and prepares you for adulthood.
I was bullied as a child and think I'm all the better for it.
Tougher and smarter.

It's a Dog eat dog world..

... because ...

Wazdakka wrote: »

Kids being dícks to each other ...

It wasn't me!

To be honest, there are things that are properly offensive, and your friends won't go there, or will apologise if they inadvertently hurt you, but there's not that much worth taking proper offence to either. And between guys, if you do, that's what punching folk is for.

Jumpy

stovelid wrote: »

Change your thread title or the grammar spastics will have a field day, bless them.

HAHAHAHAH CRULE HAHAHAHA

*licks window*

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

It's just nature...

pablomakaveli

I think women can be just as cruel as men with their bitching behind each others backs and on occasion making catty comments to each other.

sbsquarepants

One of my mates is quite overweight, we all call him fatso or chunk and so on and ask him how is the diet going, best of luck kicking the anorexia etc, it's just part of being a bloke, i would never say anything like that to someone i didn't genuinely like and feel comfortable with. Most blokes are the same. If he took any of it to heart it would all stop straight away. I think women in general are far more cruel and hurtful than men.
In fact i can't think of a single example where a man i know deliberately set out to hurt anothers feelings! Plenty of boxes thrown and whatnot, but feelings hurt? We leave that s'hit to the experts....... women!

stovelid

Jumpy wrote: »

HAHAHAHAH CRULE HAHAHAHA

*licks window*

bonerm

Women would be just as cruel as men if they were as physically strong as men and were not busy making babies and my dinner.

The_Minister

Guys say things to their friend's faces, that women tend only to say behind their backs.

If anything, women are more vicious about their friends than guys.

Captain Chaos

The_Minister wrote: »

Guys say things to their friend's faces, that women tend only to say behind their backs.

If anything, women are more vicious about their friends than guys.

Thats it exactly, plus guys don't take things to heart like women. Guys would say things to each other and laugh at it where as if a woman said it to one of her friends they would not be friends anymore.

stovelid

While I agree that slagging between men can get quite hardcore, I don't think cruelty and bullying is gender-specific.

strobe

pablomakaveli wrote: »

I think women can be just as cruel as men with their bitching behind each others backs and on occasion making catty comments to each other.

I think they're far far worse to be honest. Of course there was bullying and things between the boys when I was in school but it was nothing on what some of the girls were like to each other.

I remember an episode of Seinfeld that I thought summed it up pretty well. Jerry and the other guy were talking about how people use to get wedgies in school and Elaine turns around and says men are sick. So they asked her what girls did and she says "we just tease someone untill they develop an eating disorder". I've seen women be completely malicious to each other in a way I have rarely, if ever, seen men be with each other.

PeterIanStaker

Women employ more concentrated and sustained psychological warfare than men ever do, and from a far earlier age. Its far more damaging in the long run.

Funkfield

stovelid wrote: »

Change you're thread title or the grammar spastic's will have a field day; Bless them.

Fixed you're post :pac:

seithon

Having grown up with a largely female family I can say I much prefer the male method of "cruel" then the female approach.

Generally most guys are honest and upfront about their expression of dislike or distaste toward someone, opinions flow freely and it can be seen as unpleasant.

On the other hand most women I've known tend to be manipulative and backstabber-y way, rarely saying what they mean. They can treat someone like their best friend in public only to trash talk them later or do things they know will hurt them, but in a way that is non-obvious.

Smart Bug

PeterIanStaker wrote: »

Women employ more concentrated and sustained psychological warfare than men ever do, and from a far earlier age. Its far more damaging in the long run.

Ha ha haaaaa just got your name now. V. good.

conorhal

Naaa, not at all, we may 'play rough' but usually within the well defined parameters that define good natured slagging. On the whole I think groups of male friends are generally very supportive, understanding and loyal to each other. Far more so than women tend to believe we are IMO.

A really interesting read is Norah Vincent's 'Self Made Man'. The true story of a lesbian feminist that disguised herself as a man for a year so that she could write the definitive insiders guide on male culture, she took a sales job, joinined a bowling league, went on a men’s retreat and even dated.

The experience challenged many of her preconceptions about what male culture consisted of. She was taken aback by the instant inclusion and camaraderie she received, and by the solidarity of the male sex, she was also surprised by the level of compassion and honesty that men share. The stereotypes are easy targets but the truth is simply this, that we are after all, human.

[Deleted User]

People are cruel.

Smart Bug

[quote=[Deleted User];65754287]People are cruel.[/QUOTE]

One might say it's social cruelty. /obscure 90's local-town bandname reference

funk-you

[quote=[Deleted User];65754287]People are cruel.[/QUOTE]

Yep, that's what the thread is about alright. Men=People(Mostly)

-Funk

mojesius

Smart Bug wrote: »

Ha ha haaaaa just got your name now. V. good.

Oh yeah...me too, took a minute though.