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Child Item

At What Age Is It Right To Tell A Child About "Sex"

Motley Crue

I got asked this question by a friend with children the other day. Wondering at what age he should tell his children about sex, and more importantly, the role sex plays - both biologically and the link with romance. If a child see's sex in a clinical way, without knowing what it is, he could think Dad is hurting Mom. On the other hand, another work friend had their child taught sex education at 11, and I'm not sure if that isn't too young....but if children are having their own relations at 13 (and sometimes younger) then maybe we should be telling them. My problem is that it destroys childhood in a way.

Personally, I had a pretty closed childhood as far as sex was concerned, whether it was because they didn't teach me sex education at school - every lesson descended to shouts of "show us your tits miss" - or because none of my friends were girls so I never really got the chance to spend time with them (I also went to a single sex school my entire Primary and Secondary education) and as a result I learned about sex through the Science book in basic Biology. The chapter on reproduction was quite insightful. It was only after that I started to learn more about what sex actually was beyond the act of reproduction.

When I finally did mix with girls in college I appreciated the "female form" more then just a dumping ground for my sperm. When I finally did sleep with a girl I had more confidence and maturity then most. But again, I was older then most of my friends when I lost my virginity, and I think that helped a lot.

On the other hand, I also enjoyed being innocent about the whole thing, and looking back I didn't need to know at 11 what my penis did other then I used it to go to the toliet.

What do you guys think, when should a child be told about sex, and what should be discussed when?

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Tabnabs

This ain't the place you want sex and children in the same paragraph

hint

parenting forum ----> for adult replies

sbsquarepants

According to the Gary Glitter Childcare Bible, around 7 or 8 is fine

landsleaving

Why is everyone thinking of the children all of a sudden?

strobe

Motley Crue wrote: »

If a child see's sex in a clinical way, without knowing what it is, he could think Dad is hurting Mom.

Yikes. Maybe Dad and Mom should shut the bedroom door when they're getting jiggy.

El Siglo

Three places a child should ever find out about this type of thing:

1) If you're a Dub, it's Dublin zoo;
2) If you're a culchie it's a bull "bulling" a heifer;
3) For everyone it's second class of primary school.

Pherekydes

strobe wrote: »

Yikes. Maybe Dad and Mom should shut the bedroom door when they're getting jiggy.

Bull****. The kitchen table has many uses!

petes

When there is grass on the pitch.

I was never told about it. I figured it out!

dlofnep

Ah jesus. You don't have to tell them anything.

They will learn off their classmates in school.

My sex education came in the form of rhymes in school.

"Up the bum, no harm done. Up the fanny and she's a mammy."

Feeona

Insurgent wrote: »

I was never told about it. I figured it out!

Same here. The first time he came in my ears it was magical

petes

Feeona wrote: »

Same here. The first time he came in my ears it was magical

Sounds like he didn't figure it out! It would want to be magical to come in both ears at the same time!

Lemegeton

they should know the basics and risks/dangers at around 13/14 in my opinion

Feeona

Insurgent wrote: »

Sounds like he didn't figure it out! It would want to be magical to come in both ears at the same time!

Some men just haven't a clue!:p

me_right_one

When puberty is in full swing, 14-15 ish. That way all the bits and pieces they learned from school will start to make sense.

orourkeda

Please refer to redtube.

All the answers you'll need are here

dr.bollocko

I'm a mother and all I've done to be an expert on this is open my legs at least once but I am going to tell you at length about what I think the right thing to do is because I'm a mother and dammit that means I am magically qualified with the powers of being always right.

Wazdakka

Whether you like it or not, kids these days are exposed to sex from a very early age.

To think that they are going to stay innocent about it any longer than 11 years old is just plain naive.
They will pick up bits from TV, their friends and the internet.

biko

OP, you're much better off in Parenting than AH.

WindSock

A lot younger and with more detail than what they are currently credited with. imo.

AnonoBoy

I just let the advertising department of Hunky Dory's teach my children about sex.

Ruby-J

AnonoBoy wrote: »

I just let the advertising department of Hunky Dory's teach my children about sex.

Yeh!!! Totally agree with you on that one!

stovelid

dlofnep wrote: »

"Up the bum, no harm done. Up the fanny and she's a mammy."

I can only give this a 9 on account of the glaring tit-**** omission.

Sea Sharp

Kids know what sex is once they're old enough to use a dictionary. Which is 7 or 8.

starbelgrade

Tell them as soon as they are born. Job done & no need to worry about it anymore. Plus, if they get up / get someone up the duff, you can use the classic parenting reproach of "I told you so".

OutlawPete

Confessions of a Window Cleaner did it for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsGneb9VoCg

cynder

If you go to any school my bets is that 90% of 6th class know.

Girls hit puberty at 9+. when they hit puberty they have a right to know what there body is up to and why.

I knew about sex at 5 as i walked in on my parents. i got told more the older i got. leaving it to 14/15 is a bit late. from 4th/5th class onwards kids should get told the basics about the birds and the bees.

Got a good book for my lady called 'Whats happening to me'. it goes into the basics and i told her if she wants any more info or has any questions ask me. she did " where do you buy condoms?" so i told her.

she had a sleep over and all the girls read the book. i told the parents and one even brought her daughter the same book and go one for her son (a boys one of the same title). A little knowledge but stops them from getting things wrong when an older child starts scaring them about stuff and telling them something different at least they know the truth.

Nervous Wreck

When it becomes relevant for the child. Some kids overhear adults talking, some don't even think about it until they're teenagers; some read about it in books and others hear from their friends. If a parent thinks the child has already acquired some knowledge on the subject, that's the best time to have a little chat. Not really necessary as, provided they have friends, they're gonna learn it from them in school or whatever but a voice of experience never hurts. I learned most of what I know through experience; trial and error. For the earlier stuff, well, when I was 11, all my friends were aged between 15 and 17 so I got the info as they did!

Des Carter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgZ_zGU1Pso

VW 1

ya put it in cider???

DrumSteve

wrong place for this question.

but my immediate thought was when you pull out. :-/

CrazyRabbit

I've never understood why one of the most basic human functions is hidden from children. We've created this rubbish about 'innocence' as a reason to keep children ignorant of not only sex, but the human body itself.

Now, I'm not suggesting we should be putting a 5 year old in front of a screen of porn videos. But I don't see the harm in letting children know the difference between boys/girls & men/woman and giving them a very basic understanding of the mechanics of sex and how it is born out of love.

We teach children about the dangers of crossing the road, how to do it safely etc, but we completely fail to do the same with sex.

At the very least, it lessens their curiosity on the topic which might get them in trouble later on as young teens, and means they would be much less embarrassed to tell their parents about any 'abusive' behaviour by adults.