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What the hell do the dead do in Heaven?

snow ghost

What exactly do dead people do in Heaven all day?

Hell's pretty obvious you have to feast on the faeces of demonic beasts with diahrrea whilst listening to Chris De Burgh music, etc, but what is there to do in Heaven other than float around on a cloud all the time with a halo over your head, seeing as you can't sin there?

And what is meant to be so great about it?

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Donkey Oaty

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

it's like you've got inside information there young man, this seems to be the approach of all of these souls in heaven :pac:

Well, it's the obvious thing to do, isn't it?

Another thing: I'd make sure that I always tuned in to "Deal or No Deal" to see if I had any relatives on it so I could send them some sort of mysterious vibe to let them know I'm watching and approve of their box number choices and deal decisions.

landsleaving

Hank_Jones wrote: »

You seem to be forgetting that the supermodels would be in heaven as well...which would apparently mean that they too can do whatever they want...

I would think that threesome would be a long shot.

Plus how old are people in heaven? Are they at like the peak of fitness?
Loopholes or wha...

What do people do in a place that nobody on this planet has ever been to....I don't know..

Damn your cool headed logic.

If history is anything to go by, in places no one has been to they're cannibals. And to get to heaven you have to eat the body of Christ.

Either I'm on to something, or that logic problem is back.

Latchy

They watch Hamster porn all day with their girlfriends .....even on sundays

psst- posted here because the why do men watch porn with their girlfriends thread was locked:pac:

kowloon

Well gluttony is a sin, so enjoying your food would be out...
Everything fun would be out I suppose. Maybe you could play scrabble, but only if you don't make any naughty words.

Sharpshooter

Latchy wrote: »

psst- posted here because the why do men watch porn with their girlfriends thread was locked:pac:

A Mods gotta do what a Mods gotta do when the thread is in breach of boards rules.

On topic:

There are quite a few people I want to Wrestle with in Heaven.

For that reason, I hope it exists in some form or other.

landsleaving

Sharpshooter wrote: »

There are quite a few people I want to Wrestle with in Heaven.

For that reason, I hope it exists in some form or other.

But you already beat Vince McMahon, who's left? Shawn Michaels?

You are the real Bret Hart aren't you? The child in me (and the adult tbh) wants to believe.

Sharpshooter

landsleaving wrote: »

But you already beat Vince McMahon, who's left? Shawn Michaels?

Hasn't he *Retired??:p

landsleaving wrote: »

You are the real Bret Hart aren't you? The child in me (and the adult tbh) wants to believe.

So did I.

/ but not anymore..

recylingbin

snow ghost wrote: »

What exactly do dead people do in Heaven all day?

Watch the box set of the sopranos, nail hookers and drink copious amounts fine scotch.

The rest of the time they waste laughing at priests burning.

Sharpshooter

recylingbin wrote: »

Watch the box set of the sopranos.

The last episode of the Sopranos made sure I'd never buy the box set.

All that good writing and directing shot to hell in the last ever episode.

recylingbin

Sharpshooter wrote: »

The last episode of the Sopranos made sure I'd never buy the box set.

All that good writing and directing shot to hell in the last ever episode.

It was superb.
What's not to like?

CrazyRabbit

Question is a irrelevant since heaven doesn't exist.

Tigger

Stephentlig wrote: »

isnt this more of a thread suited to the Christianity forum?

what has christianity got to do with heaven
ye don't have the only heaven you know

abouttobebanned

Play magicland dizzy on the commodore 64

Tigger

Sharpshooter wrote: »

The last episode of the Sopranos made sure I'd never buy the box set.

All that good writing and directing shot to hell in the last ever episode.

there was no satisfactory end tho
what would you have liked to happen

crazyderk

Lets all meet at the bar on the hot lesbian cloud and we can discuss the matter further!!!!!

rubadub

They are looking at YOU

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=****%20Seance

1. **** Seance
The eerie feeling you get while masturbating that all your dead relatives are looking down on you in disgust.
I started jerking off to this porno but then I had a **** seance and suddenly lost the urge.

bnt

Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens. If Religion is the Opium of the Masses, then Heaven must be a permanent Heroin coma. :rolleyes:

cp9a

It would be the exact same as Earth but different!!! In a weird kinda way. Where the sun comes up at night and clocks run backwards. As in literally run backwards. They have little legs and run around the place backwards and when you order a 99 Ice-Cream it comes with the Flake in the middle of the cone and the Ice-Cream sticking out from the side of the Flake. Other than that it would be the same.

opinion guy

landsleaving wrote: »

Damn your cool headed logic.

If history is anything to go by, in places no one has been to they're cannibals. And to get to heaven you have to eat the body of Christ.

Either I'm on to something, or that logic problem is back.

Where in God's name did you pull that from ?

Sharpshooter wrote: »

A Mods gotta do what a Mods gotta do when the thread is in breach of boards rules.

On topic:

There are quite a few people I want to Wrestle with in Heaven.

For that reason, I hope it exists in some form or other.

hahaha....wrestle means roide right ?

rubadub wrote: »

They are looking at YOU

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=****%20Seance

1. **** Seance
The eerie feeling you get while masturbating that all your dead relatives are looking down on you in disgust.
I started jerking off to this porno but then I had a **** seance and suddenly lost the urge.

How appropriate that this was posted by someone called 'rubadub'

isnt this more of a thread suited to the Christianity forum?

God no, have you been over there ? You do realise they'd argue about the fine details of the entertainment schedule of heaven they are that sure of everything over there. Trust me its far better off over here.

Naos

The Hell thing is a bit of a lie anyway.

See if we use logic, then Satan will want people to be evil. Now why would he treat those that were evil like sh1t once they go to hell?

He wouldn't - because then people wouldn't be evil any more. Thus all those threesomes with dead supermodels, beer, drugs and whatever else you wanted will be freely available in Hell as Satan pats you on the back for a job well done.

opinion guy

Seriously its not like supermodels are going to go to heaven anyhow
http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/2010/03/02/Driver-says-Campbell-assaulted-him-in-NYC/UPI-15261267579889/

smurgen

you get to play whack-a-mole all day with bankers heads popping out the holes.

baltimore sun

errr....you do nothing, coz there isn't one.
you're worm food

Agricola

When it comes to Heaven, I like to think of it as a sort of eternal state of bliss. Whatever activities / pursuits gave you great pleasure in life, you will spend an eternity alternating between them in Heaven.

But then I cop onto myself and realise its all aload of iron age rubbish.

opinion guy

I have to say - the Hindu's neatly avoided this vexing issue with the reincarnation malarkey they adopted instead

JONJO THE MISER

There is a heaven already on planet earth and its called Las Vegas Baby.
$75 on red 32 please:p.

Kelly55555

cp9a wrote: »

It would be the exact same as Earth but different!!! In a weird kinda way. Where the sun comes up at night and clocks run backwards. As in literally run backwards. They have little legs and run around the place backwards and when you order a 99 Ice-Cream it comes with the Flake in the middle of the cone and the Ice-Cream sticking out from the side of the Flake. Other than that it would be the same.

Imaginative!!

Erica<3

I dunno... watch their living relatives?

I only hope they don't watch when we're in any, ahem, compromising positions

That would be a fairly awkward conversation upon meeting them at the gate now, wouldn't it? :rolleyes:

Avoid priests (if you die young)

Too far/soon?

OutlawPete

They come back to earth as earth angels and try to earn their wings by helping people remain on the path to happiness and serenity.

Whenever you hear a bell ringing, that means an angel has just earned their wings.

True story.