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Your most embarrasing drunken story?

FearDark

Well, its Saturday night and Im bored off my nips and while Im waiting for the drunk masses to invade AH any minute now I may as well start a thread, no doubt Its been done before but it wasnt in the first 2 pages of the search function so feck it, whats your best drunk story, its not a competition to say how much you drunk, lets face it you were drunk it doesnt matter how much you drank to get that way, no excuses, you were drunk, no justifying your story with "now I rarely get drunk" or "I learnt my lesson" blah blah...

You were fookin drunk!

Heres my embarrasing one...

I was at a friends housewarming party, he had just bought this new swanky pad and had his parents there along with all our friends and his new neighbours I got absolutely sh1tfaced lost my phone, accused randomers of stealing it, then accused my friend of kissing my girlfriend

anyway: Made it into town, everyone basiclly abandoned me and left me to my own devices so I rang a taxi on my phone (what I thought was my phone) it actually turned out to be my friends remote control for his stereo, had a full blown arguement with a taxi driver on the remote control on the main street (I had an audience), realised after about 20 minutes it was a remote control and threw it across the road, started crying...

After 6 years youd think people would forget!

Theres also stories involving me pissing in the oven, "losing" my pants and ****ting out the window incident.

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Blitzkrieger

Diabhal Beag wrote: »

The usual pissed my pants while waiting in the queue for the jacks

That's not usual - that's just you.....

TheCardHolder

At oxegen my mate stumbled up to me and told me that he had taken a piss in one of those giant water coolers:pac:

smk89

the very first night i drank (late starter at 18) i got concussion from having a vodka bottle smashed over my head. i normally wouldn't mind but i had my a levels the next week and me brain dont work since then.

Next night i went out drinking my drink was spiked (with speed) by my best friend and i ended up projectile vomiting and having an exitential crisis (or so im told). with friends like that...

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

What kinda stupid pub has closets for people to hide in?..............

Not "The George"

FearDark

ch750536 wrote: »

1. Tried to start a fight with everyone, telling people I had 'spider DNA'.
2. Shat on the floor next to a woman who then beat me.
3. Swallowed a wasp that stung me in the mouth.
4. Passed out.

We should meet up for a few pints lol.

Professey Chin

Notorious wrote: »

I think the worst I've got happened after myself and a mate got off work early. We hit the local public house, and drank for about five hours while waiting for the rest of the gang to finish. Not long after our colleagues had joined us, me, being in bits attempted to have a smoke; I had the end you light in my mouth and was trying to light the filter. After an argument with a sober mate about said cigarette, I dragged him out of the closet to about twenty people who had absolutely no idea he was in there. Fun times.

What kinda stupid pub has closets for people to hide in?..............

ch750536

Was turning up to the Donnington rock festival many moons ago. Turns out they had banned glass bottles this year, fine the year before.

Anyway, I necked a litre of Vodka straight.

I remember the first act coming on, would be about 2pm.
I woke after the last act, where my friend told me what had happened.

1. Tried to start a fight with everyone, telling people I had 'spider DNA'.
2. Shat on the floor next to a woman who then beat me.
3. Swallowed a wasp that stung me in the mouth.
4. Passed out.

At this point my friend had to stand watch over me for 8 hours, occasionally checking I was breathing. He stopped people from stealing my clothes.

Oddly, the second I awoke I was completely sober. It was a long walk back to the car, when we got there I had to ride home naked in the back as all my piss, **** & puke stained clothes were bagged up.

We had a gas.

Notorious

I think the worst I've got happened after myself and a mate got off work early. We hit the local public house, and drank for about five hours while waiting for the rest of the gang to finish. Not long after our colleagues had joined us, me, being in bits attempted to have a smoke; I had the end you light in my mouth and was trying to light the filter. After an argument with a sober mate about said cigarette, I dragged him out of the closet to about twenty people who had absolutely no idea he was in there. Fun times.

minidazzler

dannym08 wrote: »

leela's not a ginger!!

And she's hot!!!:D

Professey Chin

martinr5232 wrote: »

Was this her ?

Attachment not found.

Id do leela.....wait shes a drawing.Ooooooo papercuts

Totally worth it :cool:

G_R

martinr5232 wrote: »

Was this her ?

Attachment not found.

leela's not a ginger!!

martinr5232

minidazzler wrote: »

I was at a friends 21st 2 months back and I was pissed.

Long story short I ended up going down on her friend at 6 am on a public laneway that is used alot in the early morning. Her friend has one eye and is ginger. I regret it majorly because the next day I told a friend so now EVERYONE knows about it, and the girl I went down on is not attractive at all.

Was this her ?

Attachment not found.

dellas1979

Ahahaha Im sorry mini you are too funny *wink wink*

G_R

hmmm...

well i was coming back from a wedding with two of my mates at around three in the morning. From what i'm told, i was dosing in and out of consiousness, then all of a sudden i puked all over the back of the passenger seat and myself, then fell asleep, sitting there in my own puke.

still haven't lived it down:(

minidazzler

Gummy Panda wrote: »

How was her box though?

Average at best. Wouldn't go back really.

Local-womanizer

FearDark wrote: »

This is the "I was drunk" thread not the excuses thread.

Exactly!Many a nights I've p1ssed out the window!

minidazzler

dellas1979 wrote: »

Ahahahahahaha her eye, his eye ahahha what in the feck is up with you and eyeballs.

Her eye actually. And I didn't mean that pun at all:(

FearDark

Daragh101 wrote: »

begs the question.."what was wrong with the toilet"?

This is the "I was drunk" thread not the excuses thread.

dellas1979

minidazzler wrote: »

While one laughed the other, a good friend of mine gave me the evil eye

Ahahahahahaha her eye, his eye ahahha what in the feck is up with you and eyeballs.

lycopodium123

DarkJager wrote: »

I woz drunk once in Amsterdam, and I went to dip the lolly in the candy shop if ya get the drift. Too many pints of course, so I was like a ****in rabbit with no dick tryna horse it in. She said to me "Ya know you only have 2o minutes?" and I was all like "Ya ho, I know that **** 4 real, 2o mins all I need to make you scream ho". So anyway, therre I was doin some serious Ron Jeremy **** behind the closed door when there was ;ike a knock or some **** on the door. I said to the ho "yo who the **** is dat??!!" and she get all up in my face like "that my hustla fooollll". So i got my clothes and ****, made sure my paper was still stackin up in the wallet and I got my mother****in stroll on, walkin out da door like it wasn't ****. Its only when this old granny lady ho started staring at me in da street that I realised like my almighty cock was on show for the whole RLD. Gave it a little wave and all for the nosey beeatches...

what? can you re-do this in english please>

Daragh101

FearDark wrote: »

Could be worse, my father caught me having a **** on my window sill, arse cocked out the window and all...

begs the question.."what was wrong with the toilet"?

FearDark

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Oh another one. Being woken up by my mum while sleeping on the toilet. Luckily I wasn't actually going to the toilet and just needed a sit down.

Could be worse, my father caught me having a **** on my window sill, arse cocked out the window and all...

AlmightyCushion

Oh another one. Being woken up by my mum while sleeping on the toilet. Luckily I wasn't actually going to the toilet and just needed a sit down.

Gummy Panda

minidazzler wrote: »

She is a nice girl, just not attractive in anyway!!

How was her box though?

Randy Shafter

Back in February i went to a gig in The Village and was drinking alot of havana clubs and cokes in fairly quick succession. Cue the end of the night in the taxi and puking into my lap... Pay the soilage fee and stumble into the house. Get to my room start to take off my clothes and have to run to the loo to puke. At this stage im only in my socks and i puke all over the bathroom floor. My parents wake up to see their son in his fleshy glory and putting his foot into the fresh warm puke on said floor. Then i forgot to take my phone out of my trousers pocket and it got washed...

It was an expensive night to say the least and i got an earfull from the gf the next day for not texting her that i got home safe and sound.

Oh, i recently put on the jacket i wore that night to find it had a nice layer of dry puke on it.... Lovely.:o

powerzjim

iv pissed on my friends leg

Daragh101

Enlil_Nick wrote: »

Came home one night and got into bed. Head starting spinning one way and everything in the room spun the other. Realised I wasn't going to make it to the bathroom in time to puke and my only options were to lie there and puke on my own face or stagger across to the window. I eventually managed to reach the window where I evacuated everything I had drunk the previous few hours, including beer, whisky, red wine.. Woke up feeling pretty good until I went outside and saw a giant red stain from my (2nd floor) window down to the ground at the front of the house. It looked like I'd decapitated a would-be burglar with my window.

that happened b4 to me but, my dad came into the room in the process, also i was only 17:o:P

Nichololas

Came home one night and got into bed. Head starting spinning one way and everything in the room spun the other. Realised I wasn't going to make it to the bathroom in time to puke and my only options were to lie there and puke on my own face or stagger across to the window. I eventually managed to reach the window where I evacuated everything I had drunk the previous few hours, including beer, whisky, red wine.. Woke up feeling pretty good until I went outside and saw a giant red stain from my (2nd floor) window down to the ground at the front of the house. It looked like I'd decapitated a would-be burglar with my window.

minidazzler

FearDark wrote: »

Details on this.

The other is a glass eye, it comes out alot at inopertune moments!!!! I was drunk and stupid. Luckily I did not have sex with her, I think now all the women of boards will think alot differently of me. I didn't expect so many thanks for that post:o

I saw some of our mutual friends on the bus today and they didn't say anything except "Hi Mini, haven't seen you since "B's" Bday, what time did you go home." While one laughed the other, a good friend of mine gave me the evil eye:(

It's OK Now though because I have sworn off scoring girls when I am drunk. Not going off with another girl until I am sober while doing so. I hated myself severely after my episode with the Glass eyed Pirate.

She is a nice girl, just not attractive in anyway!!

Testament1

gettin sick in the kitchen then topping it off by goin for a piss in the corner of the kitchen afterwards